wow look at all the shit colouring that i can do

if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments" 

1)     Coffee shop AU

i)       Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order

ii)      I’m worried about your coffee dependency

iii)     you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E

iv)     you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino

2)      Flower shop AU

i)       You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m concerned as to why

ii)      I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that

iii)     (this is also a good way to incorporate flower meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)

3)      Library AU

i)       You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down

ii)      I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying

iii)     The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere

4)      Awful first time meeting

i)       I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something

ii)      I thought you were my friend who’s just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole

iii)     You get the gist to this one

iv)     Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)

5)      Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general

i)       We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together

ii)      “okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going to die aren’t I?”

iii)     A personal favourite of mine – first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

iv)     We keep accidentally running into each other I’m not a stalker I swear

v)      You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable

vi)     “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

6)      Friends to romance – pining and all that wonderful shit

i)       You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

ii)      I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex

iii)     You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

iv)     Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING

v)      Friends with benefits oh wait I like you

7)      FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS

i)       It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me

ii)      My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?

iii)     There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?

iv)     I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP

8)      Soulmate aus

i)       The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like  the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me asshole?

ii)      You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a fucking unicorn

iii)     The more ridiculous the better actually

iv)     Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band but I can’t sing for shit

v)      Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)

9)      Alternate universes for real

i)       Mermaids

ii)      Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the fuck is happening

iii)     Hogwarts

iv)     We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?

v)      Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)

vi)     Literally any movie or book universe you like tbh just go for it

10)   Other aus that I like

i)       I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

ii)      We work in the same office and you have a goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME

iii)     Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

iv)     It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war

v)      It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)

vi)     Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)

vii)   You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

viii)  Carrying on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???

ix)     You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

x)      You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute

xi)     I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh

xii)   I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water

xiii)  Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

xiv)  You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no

Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ

send me some to @theskyis-forever with a pairing for me to write :)

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

Six Years and Seven Days

This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth. 

So…pain. 


Day Three

“Bellamy…are you up there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”

Static.

“I only woke up yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you didn’t die.”

Silence.

“Bellamy, my mom was right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I hope you aren’t either.”

His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.

“I’m not dead, Clarke. I’m not dead.”

Keep reading

“Will I be the lead?” || Finn Wolfhard

Request: none

Characters: Finn Wolfhard x reader, Wyatt, Josh, Jake

Tense: 3rd person

Summary: Finn is back home and has some time to spend with his friends. Talking on rooftops, skating on the streets and sleepovers in the gardens.

A/N: In terms of this storyline, Finn and Wyatt have known each other for a while and all characters became a friendship group

Finn was finally back home after filming for over a year; he hadn’t seen his friends in that space of time until now. He got into his house to find Josh sat at the dining table eating leftover pizza from the Wolfhard’s fridge. He turned and smiled, mouth full, and waved as he got up quickly. He engulfed Finn into a hug and as he did, Finn noticed Wyatt sat with Jake. The two came and joined the hug, creating a large group hug. Finn stood looking around slightly.

“(Y/N) will be round later,” Wyatt said. “She has some things to do,” Finn nodded, somewhat embarrassed that Wyatt knew exactly who he was looking for.

The guys all sat around and talked for ages, mostly about nothing in particular, just general nonsense. They were all sat outside in front of Finn’s house on the front porch: Jake and Wyatt sitting in a swing seat, whilst Finn and Josh sat on chairs opposite.

“Yeah, but hypothetically speaking, you can’t just take it out of its shell, like it would kill it,” Wyatt spoke seriously, even though the subject they were discussing was completely random. The others nodded in agreement, humming like the topic was an actual debate of some sort.

Finn stroked his chin. “Yes but if it was then covered in, let’s say, the armour then it would be protected even more and it wouldn’t die, because it would replace the shell,” Josh clicked his fingers and nodded vigorously.

“No the bones of it are attached to it, it would destroy it then bleed to death,” Wyatt elaborated. “Armour would then make it worse and it would already be dead,” he said.

“If it’s attached,” Josh said. “Then why can they retract into their shells?”

“For this particular topic,” Finn said, sounding like he was from a posh and upper class area. “I’m going to say it wouldn’t kill it because this is complete fantasy, not reality,” everyone laughed.

“Fine,” Wyatt rolled his eyes jokingly. “But it’s able to retract because it’s the limbs of it, it has space in its shell to just go into itself.”

They were still sat on the front porch, when they noticed (Y/N) skate over. She stopped, picked up her board and then made her way up to the guys. Finn’s face instantly lit up, the two ran to each other, instantly hugging. The other guys shared glances with one another and then with Finn’s brother who was stood inside the house, but was definitely watching.  

“You got taller,” she laughed as she now had to look up at him slightly. “I’m pissed,” he shrugged, laughing along with her. He couldn’t help but think why she had her beanie covering the entirety of her head, showing no hair apart from one tiny strand which he could’ve sworn was an odd colour.

“I haven’t skated in a while,” he said, referring to her board. “Do you mind if we do?” he asked, everyone else was up for it.

                                                          ***

“Your balance is better than it was,” she laughed. “You’re actually good now,” he looked at her and smiled.

“Learnt from the master,” he pointed in front of him towards Josh. “Which would be him,” She flicked Finn’s forehead and he pretended to be injured.

“Such a baby,” she rolled her eyes and skated away from him, causing him to get back on his board and follow her jokingly. He had one arm out in front and the other on his chest.

“Breaking my heart,” he said which made everyone laugh. They all started to skate towards (Y/N)’s house, which was where Finn’s parents now were.

Finn’s parents were close with (Y/N)’s, which was why Finn and her were as close as they were. They all stumbled into the house, heading straight for her room. Josh threw himself on her bed, Jake following suit, Wyatt took a beanbag chair whilst Finn took her desk chair. She sat on the floor, like she usually would whenever they were altogether as a group.

“The sunset is so nice,” (Y/N) said, looking out at the sky through the window. Everyone hummed in agreement.

“Remember when Wyatt almost fell off the roof?” Jake spoke up, barely able to get his words out through laughter. “Cracked me up so much.”

“Those times we’d sit on the roof and just make fake answers to actual questions,” She said, also barely audible through laughter. “I miss those times.”

“Let’s do it now, then,” Finn suggested, spinning around on the chair. Nobody had taken notice that he’d been doing it as soon as he sat down, more than likely the 10th time he’d spun around. “Why reminisce about doing it when we could just do it now?” He stood up, stumbling slightly with dizziness. He held out his arms and stayed still, “I’m all good.”

She opened the windows and one by one, they all crawled out the window to sit on the roof. All were laughing, talking about anything that came to mind, yet again nonsense. Finn’s eyes kept diverting to her unintentionally, which Josh had picked up on.

“Okay, okay,” she laughed. “But I know what I know,” she shook her head, stomach aching from laughing.

“Which is nothing?” Josh asked, causing her to reach over Finn and hit his leg. “You kneeded permission to do that,” you looked at him emotionless, whilst Finn sat laughing. Finn was finding anything and everything funny that night on the rooftop.

“I’ve done legitimate research,” Jake said, speaking with a serious tone. “There are a couple of things you don’t understand- also the world is flat,” he interrupted himself with his statement. Josh squealed a trailed ‘what?’ as Finn just stared from Jake to her and then back to Jake.

“And the moon landing was fake,” Wyatt pointed out. She raised her eyebrows in amusement.

Josh piped up, “Dude, I’m just glad that people are, like, being straight up with me for once, because I’ve never heard any of this shit,” everyone laughed.She patted his back in a joking comfort. 

“I’m gonna go get a drink, anyone want anything?” She said, everybody shook their head, carrying on with their discussion, as she climbed back into the house through the window, heading downstairs. She went to the fridge and pulled out a Coke can. She took off her beanie, the hat that had been covering the entirety of her hair, and she placed the hat neatly on the dining table. She made her way back upstairs and as she walked into the room, Josh turned round from the roof. Widened eyes, he turned back round to the others. She climbed through and joined them in the place where she was originally sat.

“Oh, wow, you’re hair, it matches the sky,” Finn smiles, chuckling at his own statement, speaking softly. The sky at that very moment was a pink colour, something that happened at sunset. “I like it, it suits you.” All she could do is smile back, stroking her hair in flattery. Finn then kept making eye contact with each of the other guys, almost questioning if they knew she’d dyed her hair whilst he was away. It wasn’t a big deal to him but it had surprised him.

The group had eventually come down from the roof and were now in her back garden, putting up a tent. Finn and (Y/N) were planning to camp out in her garden for the night, after much begging to their parents. The guys had offered to help, knowing full well that the two of them putting it up together would take them until morning.

“No you need to give me that pole,” Wyatt shouted over to Josh who was stood opposite. “No, the other one,” Josh kept purposely picking up the wrong one, just to frustrate him. “Yes, thank you,” he caught the pole and attached it.

“It’s feeding time,” Jake said eagerly, referring to the part of pushing the poles through the material, which would keep the tent up and in place.

“I’ve already eaten,” Josh said seriously, everyone stopping and turning to him, hoping to see some evident look on his face that he was joking. They all found nothing. “I’m joking,” he reassured everyone.

Soon enough, the tent was up and secure. They’d all helped with sorting out the inside as well. The other guys had left after giving their goodbyes to the two friends and their families, who were sat inside. Finn and (Y/N) went inside to grab food, and then came back out to go into the tent.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” she said, breaking the silence. “About a year, you look good, though.”

“So do you,” the two laughed at their conversation. “We sound like 35 year olds,” she nodded as she laughed.

“Yeah who lost touch after a break up and just reunited.”

“Oddly specific, but pretty movie-like,” Finn took a bite out of the chocolate bar in his hand.

“I love movies,” she said. “I wanna make some one day.”

“Will I be the lead?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

“Obviously, no one else would even need to audition, it’d be yours automatically,” she furrowed her eyebrows in a pretend ‘duh’ tone.

“What kind of film would it be?” He loved hearing her ideas for films or shows, he always admired her creativity which is why he was so interested in watching other directors do their jobs. It wasn’t always for his benefit, but for hers.

“I’m thinking an indie road trip,” She said, putting her arms out in front of her, acting as if there were a screen there as she paced out the words. “Pastel colouring, emotive music-“ She listed, tapping her fingers as she counted.

“Maybe some love?” he wiggled his eyebrows causing her to laugh.

She shook her head. “All platonic.”

“I love you,” Finn laughed. She smiled. “Always have this thing about you, you have such a creative mind, and I love it. This is why we’re friends,” He kept a constant eye contact, almost wanting her to believe he was telling the truth. “Talking about creativity, why’d you dye your hair?”

“I’ve always wanted to,” she explained, becoming self-aware. “I don’t really know, rebellious, I guess,” she shrugged. “I missed you,” she changed the subject.

“I missed you too,” his smile faded to him biting the inside of his lip. “But all you have to do is watch me in shit and you’ll be okay,” he tried making her feel better.

“I literally cried at stranger things two, dude,” she laughed, almost immediately regretting saying it, but her mouth was speaking before her mind could process the words needed. “It just reminded me of you coming back, you know? Emphasises how much you miss someone. This place isn’t the same without you.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised. He had thought that she would’ve been off doing things with new people or having more fun lately. “How so?” He was intrigued.

“People are so boring, they never want to do things like what we do. They don’t get me the way that you do, nobody has ever gotten me like you do.” Finn smiled.

“You’re a pretty hard person to understand,” he joked. “That’s why we get along so well.”

“How long are you here for?” she asked, lying on top of her sleeping bag. Finn copied, lying on his in the opposite direction. The two were top and tailing, Finn occasionally putting his foot on her face which caused her to tickle the underneath to get him to move it.

“I’ve got some interviews,” he explained, staring at the top of the tent. “So maybe two days?” he could hear her sigh. He instantly changed the subject as he noticed the raindrops on the tent material. “I remember you tried to convince everyone in our class that raindrops were God’s tears,” They both laughed. He sat up, eyes fixated on the droplet, and flicked the tent which caused the raindrop to fall.

“You’re so interested in the strangest of things,” she said before she was quickly eager to flick an oddly shaped droplet. The two spent the next few minutes focused on the raindrops, neither speaking but only giggling at their actions.

They both then sat back down, facing each other. “We’re such kids,” she shook her head, laughing to herself.

“Who says that’s a bad thing?” Finn questioned rhetorically. “I mean, it’s not like we’re 20 year olds, we’re kids. Can’t grow up too fast,” she was in awe of his mind-set. A part of her couldn’t wait to grow up and be independent, but being around Finn always influenced her to stay grounded. “So have you met anyone?” he jokingly asked, but was also somewhat serious.

“You know me, Finn,” she shrugged, speaking with a posh accent, “I don’t meet people. What about you?”

“Oh no no,” he copied her with the posh accent, “I try to stay focused on my career and my school career,” he chuckled, an arrogant and posh tone. “I don’t see the point because I have my time to find someone, I am just a kid so,” she tried not to laugh.

“Why, that’s because you feel whole, Sir,” she said, again a seriousness hidden within the words.

“I feel whole?” he asked, still keeping the joke going. She nodded.

“Yes, like you have something to fill up the gaping hole of emptiness,” Both stopped laughing and Finn had now caught on that she was being serious.

“And you have this gaping hole?” He asked her, concern evident in his voice and no accent this time, feeling slightly sad that his friend was feeling this way.

She didn’t speak for a few seconds, her mind functioning to find the right thing to say. “Sometimes,” she shrugged. “I mean, I have my insecurities and times where I feel like I need someone to make me feel real, which is crazy because I’m not even that old,” she laughed slightly, humourless but filled with embarrassment. Hearing herself say it she thought it sounded stupid.

“Well, you’re amazing and you don’t need anyone for you to know that,” he smiled, attempting to give comfort and reassurance. “Apart from me of course,” she smiled back this time. “And if you’re gonna be with anyone it’s obviously going to be with me,” he said, not really thinking.

“Finn don’t,” she said quietly.

“What?” he asked, worried.

“Just,” she sighed, “Don’t.”

“Did I say something wrong?” she shook her head. “I did, didn’t I?” She shook her head again. “You’ve gone all quiet, I obviously have,” he became frustrated both at her lack of talking and at himself for not knowing what he’d done.

“Now we really do sound like 35 year old exes,” she muttered, causing Finn to laugh. “I’m sorry, I just had a bit of a moment,” she shook herself and Finn copied, almost mimicking her in a comforting way.

“It’s okay,” he said, giving a slight side smile. “I understand.”

Finn and (Y/N)’s mums had come out to check on the two when they overheard parts of their conversations, they decided to walk back in, sharing a hand to the chest and mouthing the word ‘aww’. They were in the kitchen, (Y/N)’s mum making some tea whilst Finn’s sat at the kitchen counter.

“It’s nice to see them together again,” Finn’s mum spoke up. “He was talking non-stop about her and how he wanted time with everyone,” (Y/N)’s mum rested against the counter by the kettle opposite.

“I couldn’t agree more,” she smiled. “She’s been down lately,” she explained, sighing slightly. “School is becoming some sort of chore, she’s really not enjoying herself here at all. I don’t know how to help, it’s really difficult.”

Finn’s mum was always close to (Y/N)’s and with any situation, she was eager to help out. She was always there for advice and to take over if it ever got too much. She walked round and hugged her. “You know you can always talk to me.”

                                                         ***

“Yeah but if the chicken was to run away, then what would you do?” She asked Finn, raising her eyebrows as she threw the small bouncy ball towards him. He caught it, threw it between his hands a couple of times as he thought. He looked upwards, something he did when he was concentrating and was deep in thought. He stopped, looked to her and pointed with the ball still in hand.

“Um, I,” He stopped, shaking his head and retreating from what he was about to say. He copied his actions as before: looking up and throwing the ball between his hands. He sighed. “You make this too difficult, (Y/N).” they both laughed. Finn threw the ball back to her, she caught it after 4 tries of catching as she unintentionally bounced it to try and keep it in her hand. Finn began to laugh hysterically, falling on his back and clapping. She threw the ball at him.

“Shut up,” she whined. “Stop laughing at me,” he started to roll around, still laughing and unable to stop. He then sat up, holding his stomach and gradually stopping from laughing.

“You make me laugh so much,” he said, smiling and holding the ball.

“What by me embarrassing myself?” She pretended to be offended. “That’s just hurtful.”

“No,” he said plainly. He was running over the right words in his head. “Just- Just you being you,” he put the ball down. She picked up a packet of twizzlers, pulled one out and began to eat it. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met and will ever meet, no doubt about it. I talk about you all the time, man,” She choked on the sweet, coughing then swallowing it again.

“Oh Jesus,” she said, hand on chest. “Sorry,” he waved her off then started to pat her back to make sure she was okay. “I just thought that you kinda forgot about me- well not forgot but like just didn’t really think about me.”

He widened his eyes and shook his head vigorously. He moved back to where he was sat, opposite you. He had his legs up, his hands intertwined with each other and rested them around his knees. “You’re always on my mind,” he laughed. “So much it’s come naturally to just think about you and for everyone on sets to groan if I even start to say your name,” She smiled, biting the inside of her mouth.

“That means a lot,” she said. “I think about you too.”

“Good otherwise this would be awkward,” he laughed, the two hugged. It was a much more sentimental hug, the type where you knew that you wouldn’t see someone for a while so you wanted to get the most feeling from it. It was quite a long hug, almost as if the two hadn’t realised they were still hugging and as if time itself was going slowly.

Tagged for imagines:

@ateliefloresdaprimavera

Masterlist - Updated 30/4/17

Originally posted by sebastiansource

- read my masterlist here . Please come and let me know your favourites -

Series

Training With Bucky - A series of connected one shots of what’s like to train with Bucky Barnes based off these headcanons here - Part 1

Ficmas - A series of christmas drabbles - Masterlist

Daddy Drabbles - A series of drabbles which detail the adventures of our favourite characters as fathers - Masterlist

100 Kinks - 100 kinky drabbles to celebrate Bucky’s 100th birthday (smut)

Front Line Love - Reader a nurse during WW2 finds herself at the same camp as Bucky. - Part 1, Part 2 (smut)

Riding in cars with boys - A smutty drabble series featuring all our favourite Sebastian Stan characters in cars, so come along for the ride. - Part 1: Carter

Bucky x Reader- Prompt drabbles

“I’m tired of being your secret”/“Sometimes, there is nothing better than some good old-fashioned, no string attached fucking” (SMUT)

“Will you just tell me the truth?”

“You don’t need to protect me”/“Didn’t realise I needed your permission”

“I think you’ll be happy to know that I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”

Bucky + knives + dirty talk (SMUT)

Under the table at black tie gala (SMUT")

“It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”

“Welcome to fatherhood”

“Stop being so cute”

“How is my wife more badass than me?”

“I’m not buying IKEA furniture again.”

Keep reading

One Week (Connor Murphy x Reader)

TW: EVEN SMUTTIER THAN THE LAST ONE, swearing, a whole lot of innuendos

Words: 1,700 ish

Disclaimer: I may edit this a tiny bit more in the future. But enjoy, kiddos!


“Oh here they come,” Alanna groaned to the rest of your friends, spotting you and Connor walking towards the lunch table. 
“Wow, and a whole new gallery of hickeys to go along with it!” Jared nodded towards the faint purple bruises on Connor’s neck. 
“Ugh, seriously, can we stop talking about this? He’s my brother. The last thing I want to think about is him… doing it,” Zoe basically cringed at her last words. She folded up her half eaten sandwich, clearly having a loss of appetite.

You and Connor sat down, smiling. Your boyfriend slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side.
“What were you guys talking about?” You asked curiously. 
“Oh, just how you and Connor can’t keep it in your goddamn pants,” Jared snorted casually.

“I mean, I’ve never heard Y/N complain-“

Zoe groaned. “Okay, that’s all I can take. Come on, Evan, let’s go eat outside,” she stood up and the blue boy followed. His ears were pink just from listening to the conversation.

“See? Even tree-nut over there can’t be around you two,” Jared remarked.

“What the hell do you mean, Kleinman?” Connor rolled his eyes. 
“I MEAN that we all know how much you guys fuck. My god, look at you; your neck could be a Picasso sunrise!” Jared laughed in between his words. Connor’s hand shot up to his neck immediately, in attempt to hide them.

“Every time we get together, you guys always leave early to have sex,” Alanna pointed out, taking a bite of a baby carrot.

“Do not! When was the last time we did that?” You looked at Alanna with disbelief.

“Literally last week we watched Schindler’s List at my house, and you sucked Connor off in the bathroom,” Alanna stated.

Your face turned bright red. Connor’s ears changed colour like a chameleon to match.

“Who the fuck gets turned on by dead Jews? You guys are messed up,” Jared joked.

You rolled your head back and groaned. “Ugh, you guys are exaggerating! We don’t do it that often.”

Alanna and Jared bounced back and forth.

“Last week. Schindler’s List.”
“Week before that, we went to the arcade. You guys left and had sex at Y/N’s house.”

“Week before that, we all went out to eat and you guys dashed before dessert came.”

“Ok, ok! I get it. We have a lot of sex. But what’s wrong with that?” Connor let out an annoyed sigh.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, scientifically speaking, but it’s just… annoying,” Alanna concluded.

“Yeah, I bet you two couldn’t go a week without having sex.” Jared took a sip of his juice box, giving you both a judgemental glare above the rim of his glasses.

“You’re on,” you shook his hand. Connor choked on his own spit, eyes growing wide.

“Wait, babe, are you sure-”

“Quitting already, Murphy?” Jared spoke as he reached out his hands to shake yours.

Connor gulped, looking between the two of you. “Ok. Fine,” he finally sighed.

Alanna checked her watch, “ok, so this time in exactly a week, you guys cannot have ANY sexual intercourse. That includes anything in sexual nature.”

You nodded with a confident smirk on your face.

Two days have already passed, and it’s been a lot harder than you thought. You have been so used to having little quickies and long nights with Connor, that you felt… frustrated. It was almost as if your nerves were just asking to be trampled on. Even worse, Connor was getting antsy.

You were at his house, in an attempt to study. But he couldn’t sit still. He was full of energy and in a pissed off mood.

“Connor, just come sit down,” you pinched the bridge of your nose with your fingers.

“I can’t fucking sit down. I can’t just sit, I-I need something,” he ran his hand through his long hair, pulling at the roots.

Connor had quit smoking after you two started having sex. When he smoked weed, he felt a release of stress. Then when he became intimate with you, he didn’t need that other outlet. Of course, you were over-the-moon when he told you that he had stopped smoking. And the sex wasn’t too bad either. You stood up from his bed, walking over to him and placed your hand on his arm.

“Look, I get that this is all a shitty bet made by Kleinman, but we have to prove to ourselves that this relationship is more than just sex,” you gave him an endearing look, searching his eyes.

Connor dropped his hands to his sides, nodding. “Yeah. You’re right,” he sighed softly.

The two of you were laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Do you remember that time, we were on a date, and you laughed so hard that soda came out of your nose?” Connor teases with a grin.

“Oh don’t remind me,” you giggled.

“I think that’s when I fell in love with you. I mean, who wouldn’t want a girl who has Dr.Pepper for snot?” He tickled your side softly.

“Ok, seriously, shut up. Remember the time you peed yourself in second grade? Yeah, don’t start shit, Murphy.” You jokingly growled back with a laugh.

The two of you continued to joke and share the odd memory or two. You reminisced on embarrassing moments, your firsts, and plans for the future. It had been so long since you two had just sat down spoke to each other. It felt… nice.

Connor must have been thinking the same thing, because when you looked to your right, he was looking right at you. There was something in his eyes that you hadn’t seen in a very long time. It was the look of genuine care and love. His pupils were enlarged and his eyebrows were relaxed. His mind looked like it was put at ease with something other than physical pleasure.

As much as you hated to admit it, Jared might have actually done something useful.

-

Time wore on and your patience grew both thick and thin. A week without sex was a week full of love and frustration. You and Connor took the extra time you had to get to know each other. But your time alone was the most frustrating. 3 days into the week, he had tried to sext you. Sending you teasing messages and pictures of himself that were not-safe-for-work. By the fourth day, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. When you sat near each other, his hand would run up your leg and be hiked dangerously north. By the fifth day, Connor’s eyes were glued to your neck. He stared at the skin that resembled a blank canvas. He wanted to litter it with bruises created by his lips. He wanted to make sure that everyone knew you were his. And by the sixth day, you couldn’t take it anymore.

-

Connor growled as he shoved you into his room, slamming the door closed. You attacked his lips, pressing so hard that he almost lost balance. Connor yanked your jacket off of your arms, throwing it on the floor. The zipper hit the floor, making a loud noise. But you didn’t care. Every sensation that wasn’t caused by Connor – faded into white noise.

He quickly grabbed your thighs, throwing you onto his double bed. He tucked his head in your neck, biting and finally creating a piece of art that couldn’t be graded. His hands quickly moved under your shirt, grabbing onto your breasts roughly.

“God, I fucking missed these,” he breathed out messily.

“Connor, w-what about your parents? W-What about Zoe?” you whispered in between hot breaths.

His hands grabbed your thighs and pulled them apart roughly, slipping his torso between them. “At work. I don’t fucking care about Zoe,” he grumbled against your skin.

You tipped your head backwards, letting your boyfriend catch up on all the missed time. Every tick, emotion, or outlet he needed was now all in for your pleasure. His anger built up from the week is pushed onto his muscles: carrying out the pleasure that he dedicates to you.

Connor sat on his knees. Stripping off his shirt, he presented the pale torso that you know all-too-well. You placed your hand on the line of hair beneath his belly button. You wanted to admire his beauty, but Connor had other plans. He attached his lips to yours and the two of you continued to remove your clothes, throwing them to the side of his bedroom.

His kisses trailed down your bare body. His movements resembled a waterfall, graceful and with a plan. He got dangerously close to where you wanted him the most. Slipping under the covers, he threw your legs onto his shoulders, burying his face in your thighs. He kissed up them, his nose nuzzling into the soft skin.

“I’m so lucky. So goddamn lucky,” he murmured.

You sucked in your breath, leaning onto your elbows as you watched his every move.

Connor kissed up your legs, and placed a soft kiss to your core. You hissed in delight, mouth hanging agape. Connor licked a single stride, smirking as you squirmed beneath his touch. He alternated between his tongue and fingertips, making sure to give you his undivided attention.

“You’re such a pretty girl, so so pretty,” he murmured against your heat.

You grabbed onto his locks, throwing your head back with your eyes closed. You could feel him humming the tune to your favourite song. You felt so close to the brim and then he pulled away.

Whining, you looked at him. Usually, he would give you 2-3 orgasms a night. But he was too eager to finish what he started. Throwing open his bedside drawer, he reached for a condom and slipped it on.

“Ride me,” he spoke quickly. You nodded and straddled him. You slipped him into you and rested your forehead against his.

-

Zoe walked through the front door of her house. Her mom and dad were at work, but had texted her to ask Connor what he wanted for dinner. Running upstairs, she was already dialing the number to her favourite pizza place.

She swung his bedroom door open, “Hey Connor, what do you want for- OH DEAR GOD.”

one good turn (deserves another) | m

◇ Namjoon is feeling generous, and in more ways than one.

◇ Namjoon x reader

◇ sugardaddy!au

◇ words: 3.9k

◇ requested by anon; Sugardaddy! Namjoon please?

◇ thank you to @sylvandreams for editing this for me!! 💕💕💕💕

•••

Carine Gilson or Agent Provocateur?” You muse, swirling the wine in your glass leisurely. “I don’t know. It’s for your eyes, why don’t you pick?”

You hear Namjoon’s laugh crackle over the speaker, and you can almost imagine the dimpled grin that settles onto his features. “Both, then.”

“May I ask, what’s the occasion?” You question, inspecting your newly-manicured nails. “A trip to the spa, chocolate strawberries and wine – even new sheets? And now new lingerie? I’m sure my birthday was months ago.”

“Do I need a reason to spoil my baby?” His voice is full of fake incredulity and teasing, and it draws a roll of your eyes from you. As if the foundation of your relationship wasn’t purely constructed on Namjoon spoiling you – he liked to joke, though, and tease, too. “I’m feeling generous.”

“You’re always generous,” you remind him, mind going back to the Chanel bag you received just a week into your relationship, or the Moschino dress that appeared on your bed last week. “I’m just curious, is all.”

“I’m sure you are,” he purrs. “Olive green or fuchsia?”

“Olive green,” you say immediately, swapping your wine glass for some fashion catalogue you had left sitting out. With a soft huff, you fall onto the large, white couch that sat against one wall of Namjoon’s penthouse apartment. The ceiling-to-floor windows show the city in all its bright and lively glory, but your brain is preoccupied with thinking about how good these clothes would look on you – or more importantly, on the floor. “Complements my skin tone.”

You roll your eyes at the scoff that follows – something about how every colour suited you or whatever, but you’d grown used to Namjoon’s ability to sugarcoat. “Yeah, yeah. I know, daddy.

“I’m halfway across the world,” he exhales at your antics. Your mind paints a picture of how he must look: in his office, thousands of miles from you, phone pressed to his ear and bottom lip between his teeth. A suit on, most likely (they were practically all he owned), his hair combed perfectly— “Now is not the time.”

“But it’s the right time to buy me lingerie, huh?” You retort, grinning at the annoyed groan that comes just seconds later. “Hey, you dug your own grave. Your hypocrisy is appalling.

“Maybe so.” It always takes you off guard when you focus closely on Namjoon’s voice. The deepness, the underlying gravel – even his breathing sounded sexy, and it was most definitely not fair. “I’m just trying to build the anticipation for when I come home. Brand new lingerie, some sheets to break in… A whole week. Just you and me.”

“Can’t wait,” you sigh, reaching for your glass again with a soft pout. “This whole ‘no touching’ thing is driving me crazy. I haven’t had an orgasm in a whole month, Namjoon.”

“It’ll be worth it.” You can hear the uppity humour in his voice, and it makes you huff. What type of sadist does he have to be to refuse you any orgasms on his two month trip? A huge one, that’s what. “I’ll fuck you so hard into those cashmere fuckin’ sheets that these two months won’t matter—”

You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding, thighs unconsciously rubbing together at his strong words. Fuck, what you wouldn’t give…

“Don’t do that,” you breathe, screwing your eyes shut as you desperately down your remaining alcohol. “Shit, Namjoon, I swear to God—”

“Right, sorry,” he apologizes, a composing cough filling the receiver. “You drive me crazy, I hope you know that.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” you drawl, muffling your own breath of annoyance when the pulsing between your legs eventually fades into nothingness. “Anyways, I’m sure you have to go home or sleep or whatever soon. I’ll leave you to it?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he finishes reluctantly, most likely nodding his head. A second of silence passes and you bite your cheek because you really don’t wanna hang up and be without him. “Wait, there’s one more surprise.”

“Really?” You perk up, waiting patiently for him to reveal its whereabouts. “Where is it?”

“I know we had this whole ‘no touching’ thing in place,” he murmurs, your excitement only growing with every word, “but I’m not that cruel. Check the box on the top shelf of my closet. Do what you will – but only for today, understand?”

A shiver runs down your spine at the mere thought of what he could have stowed away. You slip off the couch, phone in hand, and make your way to Namjoon’s bedroom. It’s clean and orderly, just how he liked it, despite the fact that you’ve been sleeping there for the past month. You open the door to his dark mahogany closet with one hand, eyes flitting over everything and anything until they reach the top shelf, where a white box clearly sits.

With bated breath you stand on your tiptoes and pull it down, setting it on Namjoon’s bed. He’s still on the line, though he hasn’t said anything. Only his breathing can be heard, but he fades into the background as you open the box and place the lid on the bed.

Oh, wow. The box is completely and utterly filled to the brim with… Well, toys, to put it simply. Toys upon toys upon toys. You pull out a string of purple anal beads, a pale pink butt plug and a vibrating dildo that’s at least 11 inches before you speak.

“Fuck.” Your voice is shaky and he can hear it, you guess, from how his chuckle carries over the receiver and flows through your ear. “When did you have time to buy a whole box of sex toys?”

He hums a response (something about having multiple assistants at his beck and call), but you’re too busy exploring the rest of what lay in the box. A rabbit vibrator, nipple clamps, a ball gag, a fucking Magic Wand… Even some cock rings, both normal and vibrating. There was a variety of lubes, from flavoured to warming and everything in between, and piles of condoms.

“I’m allowed to do anything with these?” You confirm breathily, running your hand over a ribbed dildo. Another hum of approval for him, and you’re tugging your bottom lip between your teeth excitedly.

“All for you.”

“And you’re sure you don’t wanna… Listen?” You begin uncertainly, before your voice takes on a more teasing and mischievous tone. “I mean, you did say earlier that it was quite late – and Mr. Big Bad CEO must be tired after his hard day’s work—”

“I have no problem with losing a few hours sleep to hear you cum in real time,” he shoots back smoothly. “Besides – we both know you cum hardest when you hear my voice.”

“Awfully cocky,” you murmur coyly, leaning over his bed to plug in the Magic Wand because you were not missing out on the chance to use it. “I could hang up right now and I assure you that I’d cum just as good.”

“Let’s see,” he proposes immediately, much to your chagrin, because you’re well aware that Namjoon’s voice is one of the few non-physical things that can get you wet and ready in minutes. “Keep me on the line, but I won’t speak at all. You tell me what you’re doin’, and we’ll see if you can cum, baby girl, without needing me to finish you off.”

“Let’s see,” you agree stubbornly, throwing your phone to the bed and instantly working on removing your clothes, from your Ralph Lauren pyjamas to your Calvin Klein underwear. It’s unnerving, slightly, to have him on the line but completely silent. He can hear everything – every breath, every shift of material – but you’re left with utter stillness. Still, the idea of him imagining your naked, writhing body made you bite back a moan. “What are we betting?”

“If you win,” he begins, “the ban is lifted. Try out your new toys, do whatever you want. If I win, though…”

“The ban stays,” you finish expectantly.

“The ban stays.” The grin in his voice is unmistakable, prompting a roll of your eyes. He really did have a thing for orgasm control. You knew that if you truly wanted the ban lifted you simply had to ask, but maybe you had a thing for it too. “Well, come on. Tell me what you’re doin’.”

“I’m on your bed,” you begin, collapsing onto your knees on his sheets. Your eyes narrow decisively as they trail over the toys. The Magic Wand was a definite choice; the butt plug, you’d save for when Namjoon came home. The real decision was between the three dildos – in the end, you settle for the vibrating one, just because you didn’t want to be bothered to move one manually while holding the Magic Wand too.

“Come on,” he urges, “You have to tell me. What are you wearing, baby girl?”

You sigh as the pet name falls passed his lips, rolling onto your back. Your bare nipples pebble as the cold air hits them, and you can’t help but frown when you remember that Namjoon is thousands of miles away. God, looks like you’ll have to do everything yourself. You pluck the nipple clamps from the box and fiddle with them for a second.

“N-nothing,” you murmur, voice breaking when shocks of pain resonate through your breasts. They quickly dim to a dull pain, though, and that easily translates to pleasure. “I’m wearing nothing. I just—” You break off with a breathy moan when you tug on the clamp— “Just put on the clamps.”

“Tell me how it feels.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to be talking?” You provoke, giving the clamps another gasp-inducing pull. “You’re – ngh – not doing a good job, are you?”

“Maybe if you told me what you were doing…” Namjoon trails off, a roll of his eyes surely underway. You throw your own eyes up to the sky as well, but say nothing of it.

“It feels good,” you comment breathlessly, “Holy – fuck, the nipple clamps get my approval. I… I keep pulling on them. They hurt, but it’s so – so good.”

His breathing is louder now, tense and uneven, but he says nothing. You grapple senselessly for the vibrating dildo and a bottle of – you take a second look – strawberry flavoured lube, unconsciously holding your breath as a low buzzing fills the room.

“I turned on the vibrating dildo,” you begin shakily, biting back moans as you run the tip over your clit and down to your slit. You shudder when you begin to press it into yourself, the lube making for easy access. “It… It…”

“Use your words, baby girl.” The deep growl that his voice has become has you screwing your eyes shut. Jesus, you’d do anything to have him here right now – licking up the arousal trickling from you, squeezing your breasts… Anything would do at this point.

“I feel so full,” you gasp unevenly. Your eyebrows furrow automatically at the sensation of the vibrator moving against your walls, simultaneously filling you and stimulating you. “So, so full… Ah, Namjoon!”

There’s a curse over the line but if there’s one thing that Kim Namjoon is, it’s stubborn. He says not one word except that single curse, and if it weren’t for his heavy breathing you couldn’t even be sure that he was still there. But he was, oh, he was. Every delicious whimper, moan, desperate plead or call of his name that flowed through the air painted a picture that had him licking his lips – one with you naked, laying on his bed with sweat beading your hairline and your brows knitted together—

“Bet you’re nervous, huh?” You manage to muse cheekily through your haze of foggy pleasure and damp ecstasy. You pull the dildo from you just to tease yourself, bumping it with little jolts against your clit before you insert it back in. “These – umh – toys are doing as much of a good job as you do.”

“You say that now.”

Well, damn him for being this confident. You make sure that the dildo is pushed in as far as you can take it and give the clamps another fond pull before you turn to what you were sure was gonna be your absolute favorite. Even the dull buzz that fills the room when you switch on the Magic Wand gives you goosebumps.

“I turned on the Magic Wand,” you inform him, biting your lip. Your cheeks are surely flushed and eyes hooded – it’s a shame that Namjoon isn’t there to see you. “It looks really powerful. You sure you aren’t the least bit worried?”

“I have faith in myself,” he retorts, and usually you would roll your eyes at his stubborn nature. You’re too preoccupied, though, with testing the waters with your new toy by gently pressing it against the slick bundle of nerves that was peeking out from under its hood.

“Shi…” You have no sanity to continue your sentence. All words and sentence formations and even your name is lost from your mind the second that bloody buzzing toy makes contact with your clit, sending what feels like sparks through your bloodstream and down to your rapidly curling toes. “O–oh, my…”

Your hips begin to desperately buck into the Magic Wand, eyes rolling into the back of your head with every explosion of pleasure. You raise a shaky hand to the clamps and just manage to yank one, short pants escaping you at the dull pained pleasure that resonates from the area.

“I have the Magic Wand on my clit,” you whimper, only remembering Namjoon’s presence in a fleeting thought. “Shit, shit – ah!”

To your ignorance, every disoriented sound that Namjoon heard only made him smile. He knew you quite possibly more than you knew yourself, and he was well aware of how desperate and weak-willed you became when you wanted to cum. And if he was right – and he was – you weren’t going to reach orgasm, or at least not a satisfying one, because you relied on him just as much as he did you.

“–’m gonna cum,” you gulp, wildly chasing the ever-tightening knot of lightning-hot pleasure in your lower stomach. Your eyebrows tilt deeper, your breaths becoming short, expectation filling your bones—

“No!” Before you realise it, the feeling of your rapidly growing orgasm is pulled from beneath you and you’re left floundering on the bed, desperately seeking some form of stimulation. You can even feel tears pricking at your eyes – if that doesn’t tell you how disappointed you are, then you don’t know what will.

You throw the Magic Wand onto the bed beside you and pull the dildo out of your pussy in utter anger, huffing to yourself as you regain your breath. When your breathing has levelled out and the room returned to complete silence, then Namjoon’s chuckle fills the room.

“I told you so,” he teases, only pushing you to fold your arms and pout to yourself. When you don’t reply, he clicks his tongue condescendingly. “C’mon, baby girl. We both knew that you weren’t gonna cum.”

“Shut up,” you murmur, frowning. Great, now the stupid ban was gonna stay in place. Hello, another month of no orgasms. “You rigged this somehow.”

“How could I have?” He says incredulously, the smile in his voice much too prominent. “Do you want to cum or not?”

You’re silent for a second. Your brain is loud, though, fighting between disagreeing with him and letting your stubbornness take root or agreeing with him and admitting you were wrong.

“I’m gonna need an answer.”

“…Yes…”

“Hm?” He was teasing you, of course he was. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“I said yes,” you groan indignantly, rolling your eyes at the laugh that follows after. “I’m desperate, shut up.”

“Okay, okay,” he agrees, drifting off into a comfortable silence for a few seconds. “Well, shall we get started, then? Pick up the dildo you were using, sweetheart.”

The sudden change in his voice makes your stomach turn (in a good way), and you’re quick to pick up the discarded dildo lest you make him mad. “I’ve got it.”

“Good,” he comments. His next action is a deep exhale that trails off into humming, one that makes your heart pound and your pussy clench needily. You really are wound up.

“I want you to run the tip down your body,” he murmurs, “Down your neck, past your nipples, past your stomach – when you get to your pussy, trail it up and down yourself.”

With bated breath you do as you’re told, goosebumps following the trail you make down the length of your body. When the tip of the dildo meets your clit you can only exhale, chest rising and falling with the movement.

“I bet you’re dripping, huh?” He muses, a certain darkness hidden within his tone of voice. “Ruining my sheets. Wish I was there to lick it up – good thing I got new ones, isn’t it?”

“O-of course,” you mumble back, dazed.

“Turn it on – don’t stop touching yourself.”

Your breathing becomes heavier, even heard over the dull buzzing that comes from the dildo. Every time you place it on your clit your nerves go into overdrive, rendering you speechless for just a few seconds. You give a soft moan of confirmation when Namjoon asks if you’re doing as he instructed.

“You’re doing well,” he says, as if he was surprised that you could behave. “Good. Now, you’re gonna spread your legs as wide as they can go, and you’re gonna push that toy into your pussy, okay?”

A groan of approval is all he gets. You spread your legs out, biting your lip at the thought of just being on display, before you do exactly as he told you to and push the vibrating toy deep into your pussy. You clench tightly around it, licking your lips. It feels so good, better than earlier, and you know (but won’t admit) that it’s because of Namjoon’s deep voice in your ear.

“Feel good?”

“So good.” You nod weakly, although he can’t see you. “I wish it was you inside me… I haven’t felt you in weeks…”

He gives a pained groan. In the back of your mind you feel slightly victorious at his reaction but in the moment you can fully say that you honestly don’t care. It’s true, anyway, that you wish he was there. There was something about Namjoon that toys couldn’t give you – his warmth, his possessiveness? And quite obviously, toys didn’t do aftercare. You had to do that by yourself.

“Trust me, I wish I was there too…” He inhales in discontent. “I’d fuck you hard – harder than all those toys combined… First, though, I’d taste you. Suck your clit in my mouth and dip my tongue into your pussy—”

A loud moan (yours) cuts off his flurry of words but he continues through it. “—make you cum so hard in my mouth that you scream—”

“I think you’re on the verge of that already,” you heave, chest rising shakily as you wet your dry lips. “Ungh - please, Namjoon…

” “Turn on the Magic Wand, baby girl, and hold it to your clit.”

There are actual tears welling in your eyes when you do exactly that and press the buzzing massager against you — truth be told, you have to actively fight to suppress a scream, because this feeling bubbling in your lower stomach is more powerful that the last one a million times over.

“I’m so close,” you cry desperately, throwing your head back as you slowly succumb to the pleasure. “I – I—”

“Now take it off.”

Fuck – why in the name of God are you listening to him? He’s not here, he can’t stop you – yet, you find yourself lifting the Magic Wand from yourself, almost sobbing at the feeling of your orgasm ripping itself from your body. You take the phone in your other hand, breathing so heavily that it mustn’t be healthy.

“Why did you do that?” You demand tearfully, wiping away the tear of frustration that slips down your cheek a second after. “Fuck you, Kim Namjoon—”

“Not a good way to speak to your daddy, sweetie. If you want to cum, you can beg,” he says, as if scolding a child. “That’s the only way you’re gonna get what you want.”

You mull over it dully for a second. Are you really about to lower yourself and beg for something that is actually yours in the first place?

“…Please?”

Yes. Yes, you are.

“You can do better than that, sweetheart,” Namjoon coos irritatingly.

Please!” You cry, wriggling uncomfortably at the dildo still inside you that keeps you on a permanent edge. “I’ve been alone for weeks, just thinking about you and wanting you home and I need you and I need this, so please!”

“Fuck, put it back, baby girl.”

You do so, happily. The apartment trembles with every choked gasp and whimper that you produce. Your limbs are rendered limp and sensitive but even so you press the toy against yourself harder, relief filling you as your orgasm rushes towards you, so close, so near—

“Fu — Oh, my —” You’ve never squealed so high in your life, but that’s what the feeling that rushes through you makes you do. You think you may have screamed, too, or that your vision went white (or black), but you can’t remember anything except the molten pleasure that replaces your blood for a second. The phone in your hand uncaringly topples to the bed, leaving you writhing and riding out your orgasm alone.

It feels like forever has passed when your limbs finally stop jolting with the aftershocks of your orgasm, and your breath is recaptured by your lungs. Your hair is plastered to your forehead and your skin is covered in sweat, and the only thing your sore throat can muster is a hoarse moan.

“Fuck, Namjoon,” you whine, rubbing at your eyes. “Ngh… Shit…”

“Good, huh?” He sounds wrecked. You don’t blame him – he just listened to you cum over the phone and didn’t rub one out. He must be harder than rock right now. “I told you.”

“You did,” you grumble sleepily, your eyes fluttering shut. “You… did…”

“What are you doing?” Namjoon’s voice is back again, right next to your ear where you dropped your phone in your throes of passion. “Still three hours until tomorrow, baby girl. Three hours to cum as many times as you can before your month of chastity.”

A tired moan exits your lips but you can’t stop yourself from grappling at the nearby vibrator, his orders music to your ears…

(You inevitably fall asleep in the early hours of the morning, body still sore and pulsing, and are surprised to be awoken early by a knocking on the door.

It’s a box. Or, two, actually. One is white, the other pink, and you can’t help but roll your eyes fondly when you read the cursive writing inscripted on the fronts: Agent Provocateur and Carine Gilson. Of course, he managed to get them delivered literally hours after mentioning them.

Like he had promised, one is a set of panties and a bra, olive green in colour and decorated with gold and glitter to draw attention. The other set is a classic white corset and panty duo, with a matching garter.

For my baby girl, a note attached reads in Kim Namjoon’s distinguishable handwriting. Why don’t you model these for me, and I’ll see about lifting that ban?

Daddy.)

fic: Smile Even Though You’re Sad

title: smile even though you’re sad

genre: au/romance

word count: 2700

description: dan is the son of a rich man, unwillingly studying business in London who wanders into a gallery looking for some quiet, and instead finds the happy-go-lucky owner with a camera around his neck, the nicest smile he’s ever seen and a knack for knowing exactly what to say.

a/n: thought i’d post a little mid-week fic to perk you up if you need some, erm, perking…?

read on ao3 here if you prefer.

“They gave me the designer clothes, the trust fund and the private education and they told me to be happy.”

“And are you?”

The steel of Dan’s gaze softens. He ruffles his hair a little and a single curl still manages to dangle across his forehead.

“You know, Phil, you’re the first person to ask me that.”

Keep reading

Walnut (Evan Hansen x Reader)

TW: SMUT, really smutty, like use of the word boobs and condom

Words: 2,176

Requested: Nope lol

Disclaimer: this is my very first smut… ever. if i am absoloutley garbage - please tell me. seriously. i will stop lol. anyways, this is a super fumbly/nervous smut thing bc lets be real… evan would not be the most confident in this region. 


Yours and Evan’s relationship seemed to fall into a format that could be related to English literature: repeated and rhythmically patterned. The moment you two start doing something, you couldn’t stop. After your first kiss, Evan would not stop pecking you on the lips. After your first time holding hands, Evan couldn’t bare not capturing your fingers and intertwining them with his. Just last month, you and Evan had your first make out session.

It was strange at first. It took a while to getting used to. It would start off with a kiss, standing up. Then Evan would have to break away to control his breathing from excitement. It took a while to find a sitting position where you were both comfortable to lock lips. A few fumbles and bumped heads later, it was decided that the best spot was if you straddled Evan’s lap whilst he sat on his bed - leaning against the wall.

The make out session would include straddling and hair pulling at the bare minimum. It was so new to both you and Evan that you had to make a code word. Every time one of you got a little too excited, you would murmur the word walnut. That would give you or Evan time to calm down before continuing in kissing. At the beginning of the month, it was quite rare that the word would need to be used. 2-3 weeks into the make out month, Evan had used it 6 times and you twice. Now, at the end of the month, Evan needed a break every 10 minutes.

           Today was like every other day of the month. Evan greeted you after last period with a kiss. You two would walk to his house, holding hands. Stepping through the door, he led you upstairs. The two of you giggled like children. Evan’s mom was rarely home. Which could give you the range of make out spot possibilities, but Evan didn’t like change. Evan liked security and being able to know what goes on around him. Because of that, each afternoon snog would be in his room, with the door shut.

           You reached up onto your tip toes and grabbed Evan’s face in your hands. Smiling widely, you connected your lips together. Evan immediately placed his hands on your hips, pulling you into his lanky frame. Smiling against his warmth, you slowly led him to the edge of his bed so he could scurry against the wall; for you to get into your regular seating position. The moment you swung your legs around his hips and sat on him, his eyes grew wide.

           “Walnut,” he whispered, as if the world could hear him.

           “Already?” you question curiously.

           He nodded quickly, swallowing hard. You nodded with a small smile, obviously respecting his wishes to take a quick breather. After a few moments passed, he gave you the nod to keep going. You pressed your lips back to his, moving your mouth in sync. Your hands brushed up his blue polo and into his sandy locks. He let out the smallest of whimpers. It left butterflies in your stomach. Evan’s hands ran up and down your sides. Pulling away from his lips, you looked into his sunken eyes.

           “We are going to try something a little different, okay?” you searched his eye for approval. He gulped and nodded slowly.

           You continued to kiss him, then slowly trailed them down his neck. About two inches away from his ear, he seemed to become weak. You applied the smallest amount of pressure, and you felt his body stiffen.

           “Walnut,” he stammered.

           You kept going. Taking his hands in yours, you slowly guided them north – up to your breasts. 

          “Walnut,” his eyes flew open and watched intensely as to where you set his hands. You held his hands there, making them apply pressure to the new destination. 

          “Walnut, ohmygod, walnut,” he pracitcally hollered. 

            You pulled away quickly, looking at your loving boyfriend. His hair was sticking up, his lips were swollen, eyes were wide, and a small tent forming in his khakis. 

             “I-It was a really close call this time,” he breathed out, blushing like a mad man. 

              “Evan, we should really talk about this,” you looked at him with wide eyes.

               “Ohmygod, you think I’m so weird, don’t you? I-I can try my best, next time? I will try and last as long as I can without saying it-”

               “No, no, Evan. It’s not that,” you chuckled. You could hear him sigh with relief. “I’ve been thinking about this whole thing. You have been saying the code word so often, that it’s just- I don’t know-”

           “W-What is it?” he scrambled to hold your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles.

           “You’ll find it silly,” you laughed sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

           “Me? F-Find it silly? No way…José,” he gave you an awkward, toothy grin.

           “Okay, okay, I was just thinking – God, I don’t know, - that it’s silly how we go so far and you get so worked up and then we never… I don’t know… finish?”

           “Y-You mean, you want to-“

           “Only if you want to-“

           “W-Well maybe we could-“

           “Oh my gosh, Evan, i-it’s okay-“

           “No,” he took both of your hands in his, looking up into your eyes. “I want to. I-I really want to.”

           Evan’s mom was coming home in an hour. So you and Evan decided that tomorrow evening would be the best.

-

It was the next morning; you had just gone to the guidance counselor to ask for a condom. You asked Evan to pick up a package of them at the corner store, but he was afraid that somehow – they would end up telling the whole town.

The entire day was filled with excitement. Yours and Evan’s face stayed a shade of firetruck red all afternoon. During lunch, Evan rested his hand on your thigh, which only made your blushing worse. Of course, Jared picked up on it and made an obnoxious comment. Something the along the lines of being “fucking gay”, and calling Evan a “weird sex freak”.

The final bell had rang and you practically ran into Evan. You giggled at each other, knowing that he had rushed to meet you too.

-

Evan closed his bedroom door and suddenly got nervous. You frowned when you saw him fumbling with the material of his shirt.

“What’s wrong, Evan?” you asked softly. You sat him down on his bed, sitting next to him. Running your hand up his arm, you tried your best to comfort him. He shrugged in response. “We don’t have to do this,” you reminded him. “I’m more than happy to wait. This is a consensual thing. I love you, you know that, right?” you cracked a smile, and saw him crack one too.

           “I-I want to do this. I-I’m just scared. What if I mess up? What if I…” he began to trail off. He looked up at you and whispered, “what if I cum too early?”

           Your face turned red to match his. “It’s okay if all of that happens. This is a learning experience for the both of us. We can go slow,” you kissed him gently on the cheek. You waited for him to respond. Obviously, you would never pressure him to do something like this.

           Evan turned to you, “can we still use walnut?”

           Giggling, you nodded, “Of course.”

           Evan scooted to rest his back on the wall, pulling you up onto his lap. “I-I’m ready,” he whispered against your lips.

           You two started out as per usual. Evan didn’t use the code word once. You were kissing his neck, until he pulled away, gesturing to his shirt.

           “Should I take this off?” he asked very calmly.

           You nodded, helping him remove his polo. You were breathless at the sight. His pale form was structured like a sculpture. Every muscle, vein, and freckle was beautifully scattered on his flesh. Birth marks, moles, and little chest hairs dusted his torso. You ran your fingertips along the stretch marks that had been placed there from his middle school growth spurts.

           “You, Evan Hansen, are beautiful,” you reminded him. Evan turned an even deeper shade of red.

           Taking his hands, you guided him to the hem of your sweater. You allowed him to pull it off of you, revealing your bare skin and plain push-up bra.

           “Wow…” he breathed out, absoloutley mesmerized. You began to feel the familiar tent beneath your lap.

           “You can-um, you can touch me,” you reminded him nervously, with a small giggle.

           He reached up shakily, cupping your bra in his hands. He felt you cautiously, as if he could easily break you. He was speechless. It was the first real pair of boobs he had ever seen.

           You giggled at his expression, reaching behind you unclasping your bra. As Evan kneaded your skin, he gasped as the material fell off of your breasts. His tent grew tighter and his eyes became wider. You guided his hands to your nipples, letting him touch the sensitive nubs. You threw your head back with a whimper. Evan was shaking. 

W-Walnut, ohmygod, shit, walnut,” he whispered between his teeth. 

You nodded, watching as his eyes shut tight and his hands froze in place. You could tell that he was trying to calm his breathing. You were surprised at his sudden colourful language. A few moments passed, and your boyfriend slowly opened his eyes. 

“Did you-”

“N-No, I’m still- um- full,” he mumbled back quickly. 

You giggled at his word choice and placed his hands on your hips. You pressed your lips to his, trying to give him a feeling of familiarity. Evan soon became comfortable, taking the slightest bit of control. His fingers traced down to the hemline of your jeans. He popped open the button. Climbing off of him, you laid down beneath him, watching him hover over your body. He slid your jeans down your legs, placing the material to the side. His eyes gazed over your body, drinking the sight before him. 

Walnut,” he whispered. 

You sighed, leaning your head back on the pillow as his eyes shut tight again. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just that- You’re laying there- fuck- you just look so good. And holy hell I don’t know if I can-” 

Giggling, you stopped his rambling. “Ev, it’s okay. I will wait as long as you want me to.” 

After the second walnut calling, everything went smoothly. You were finally fully bare, and Evan was left in his boxers. 

“A-Are you okay for me to take these off?” you asked him, placing your hand on the band of his underwear. He nodded quickly, watching your every move. 

Carefully, you pulled the white cotton off of his pelvis. His length sprung out of his boxers, hitting his stomach. You looked at his newly exposed flesh, then back at his face. “You’re doing great, Ev. You really are,” you whispered to him. Slowly, you reached out your hand and stroked him once. 

“S-Stop, or I’ll-” he whimpered out. 

“Okay, okay,” you nodded, reaching over to grab the condom before he stopped you. You raised an eyebrow to give him a questioning look. 

“I-I want you to cum, too. And I… I won’t last that long,” he mumbled sheepishly. You smiled at his concern, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He was doing so well, and you really admired that he thought of you and your pleasure. 

“Is there any way to get you, um, closer before I… ya know…” he asked quietly. 

Nodding slowly, you guided his hand to your heat. You let him rub you in a repeatitive motion. Soon, Evan got the hang of things, letting you put your hand on his shoulder - rather than guiding him. His thumb found your most sensitive nub. 

“What does this do?” he asked in a whisper, lightly tapping it. 

You inhaled sharply. “That felt really good,” you admitted with an even bigger blush. 

His continuous tapping brought you closer and closer to a high. You stopped him when you were almost at your breaking point.

“O-Okay, I’m ready,” you whispered up at him.

Evan opened up the condom, rolling it on to himself. He looked at you once more for permission. You gave him a nod, smiling. Before he entered you, he whispered against your lips.

“I love you.”

He slid into you, neither of you lasting more than 15 seconds. Evan hit his orgasm first, absolutely melting in your hands. His whole body shook. Then it was your turn, grappling your finger nails into the flesh on his spine.

-

Hedi came home around 10pm that night. You and Evan were cuddled on the couch, bones aching and hearts swelling. She opened the door with bags full of groceries.

“Aw, my two little lovebirds,” she mumbled. Putting down the grocery bags, she pulled out a plastic container. “Do you guys want some candied walnuts?”

Evan turned red.

BTS Reacting to you casually wearing your new lingerie to get their attention.

Originally posted by queenwithcollars

Jungkook

You’d be baking in the kitchen, prancing around in a black lace teddy with matching garters while waiting for Jungkook to get home from his practice. Initially he’d walk to the bedroom to get out of his sweaty clothes without noticing you. After exiting the room he’d come to the kitchen to say his hellos. “Damn (Y/N), when did you buy this? It’s sexy, but I think it’d look sexier on the floor.” He’d take the bowl of icing out of your hand placing it on the counter, picking you up and placing you next to it while he pulls the black, lacy underwear down your thighs. He’d grab a bit of icing placing some on his tongue before kissing you hard and trailing more of the icing down your body until it reached between your legs, where he’d get on his knees and get rid of the sweet mess he just made using nothing but his tongue. He’d then pick you up wrapping your legs around his waist. “Now I’m even sweatier, and you’re sticky. Let’s go shower”. After exiting the shower, all you’d smell was burnt cake.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hello i just wanted to yell abt this to someone but i feel jake's ig mostly has pics with amy in it. like it's not a conscious thing ?? but one day he's looking through it and he's like omg this is p much all amy with a bunch of !!!!!!!!! dork as captions il

hi!! Come and yell to me whenever I love this!! ️<3 I got so carried away w this and was making notes about it on my phone for ages

SO: okay yes ABSOLUTELY this is the truth and even if he knows he’s doing it he 100% tries to be slick about it/act like it’s nothing at first??? I’m gonna throw in some headcanons that nobody asked for to explain myself bc I’m sad and love this idea so much:

  • Jake’s had an Instagram account since 2011, largely because Gina forced him to open one and be her first follower (which obvs turned out to b the first of thousands)
  • 95% of his posts, to start, are just him doing Stupid-Fun-Jake-Shit! e.g. Splash Mountain / meeting Regis Philbin / eating a mountain of sausages w his dad / him and the squad in a booth at Shaw’s, pulling faces
  • Amy obviously begins appearing on his account LONG BEFORE they actually begin a romantic relationship; and it’s all teasing/mocking e.g.        - A picture of their two desks with the caption “guess who’s the most fun?”  
    - A picture of Amy working hard at her desk, fixated on her computer- looking completely beautiful, though that’s NOT why he took it, duh- with Gina in the background pulling a face at her                                                 - His crowning glory, and favourite Instagram post of all time, AKA the final post of their non-romantic relationship, taken only a couple of weeks before they kiss for the first time; a dim picture he took of Amy giggling like a lunatic in the passenger seat of his car on a stakeout, her face scrunched up as she clings onto her stomach with laughter. He posts it without a caption, unable to justify it- until Charles makes a comment at work about how “the best things in life need no explanation” and he promptly updates the caption to something under the lines of “memorialise this evidence of Santiago finding me funny" 

Keep reading

An Unexpected Visit

You meet by chance an stranger man in red and black when he breaks in your house through your window.


Originally posted by my-daily-space


The previous situation isn’t worth telling. It really doesn’t matter who Deadpool was fighting, nor how he ended up being catapulted against an apartment block. The important thing is that he fell on your living room, after a harsh landing where he broke your window.

Not that you cared anyways.

Wade Wilson was slightly confused to hear a faint giggle. He looked up. There was crystal scattered around him; he was thankful he only had a few cuts, for they would heal quickly. Wade was inside someone’s house, painted in cream colours, which seemingly was in dismantling process. It was your own apartment.

Another giggle. He stood up and turned around to the source of the sound. And there you were, now laughing way louder.

He wasn’t a man easily impressed. Yet the last thing he expected was a person in a torn wedding dress with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a piece of cake in the other. Your eyes were fixed on him and his ridiculous attire, and he just did the same.

“Wow, man. You’re like a Spiderman on steroids.” You managed to say between hysteric laughs. In a normal occasion you would have freaked out at the stranger… however the whiskey had made it too hilarous for you to take it seriously.

Wade took a liking to you and decided that he could hide a while there.

“May I take a seat?” He said and laid his arse on the couch, right next to you.

You took a gulp from the bottle and handed it to him. Wade doubted, but at last he moved away the mask from his jaw and let the liquid wet his lips. It pleased him that you seemed to ignore his skin full of scars.

Shifting on your seat, you faced him.

“Why are you here?” You asked your visitor, with a goofy- and, why not, lovely- grin upon your face. Wade left the whiskey on the table and smirked.

“You see, I was fighting this really fucking annoying guy…”

“What are you? A superhero?” The cake you stuffed in your mouth muffled your voice.

“Oh, no. Shit. I’m just a really cool dick who kicks other dick’s asses.” You nodded. “Then that bastard threw me to the sky… from several streets away. I don’t think he’d know where I am at the moment.”

“That’s nice. You can stay and eat cake then!” Your words were spoken with happiness. But Deadpool was curious.

At first he thought you were plainly drunk. Later he discovered a sad sparkle in your eyes; despite your intoxication he was sure you knew what was happening. And it was very abnormal that his presence didn’t agitated you at all. Unless something had happened and you took in the absurdity of the situation to forget it.

One way or another, nuts or not, he wanted to know more about you.

“What about you? Were you waiting for our wedding night too much?” You could swear you could see his eyebrows wiggling through the mask.

“The dress.” You stated, not knowing what to answer next. Sincerity was what you found. “An asshole left me standing at the altar. He was fucking a bridesmaid in the bathroom meanwhile.” You drank again.

“What the fuck!”

“That’s what I said this morning.”

“Is that your wedding cake then?”

“Yes. I took it all. It’s one of the bright sides, like not being married to a cheater impotent.”

He laughed and so did you.

“You know, thank you.” You continued. “You are the only one who has stuck around me for more than five minutes today. I would offer you something to eat, but I was in the middle of a move… Obviously cancelled.”

“The cake is great.” You kept on eating and drinking.

At some point he told you he was a mercenary and some aspects of his life you didn’t expect. He told you about a certain woman called Vanessa, a heartbreaking story. You didn’t know if he did to make you feel better or more comfortable around him, but you welcomed the newfound confidence. Your conversation soon dyed of love.

“Damn, girl. At least you’ll get to meet another guy. A soulmate or something worse.”

“My love records has always been really deficient. I’m not very hopeful. But who cares, love is not everything… eh… Wait, what’s your name?”

“Deadpool.”

“I heard that name on TV. You were right about being a dick.” Your smile as sweet as sugar.

“I told you. Call me Wade, though. Unless you want to hire my services to scare the shit out of that fucker of ex you have.”

“No, no. I punched him, but I didn’t feel better. It’s not worth it. My name is [Y/N], by the way.”

“You punched him! [Y/N], I like you more and more by the minute.” He touched his face and realised his mask was still up. He felt self conscious. Even though you didn’t give him any signal of repugnance, Wade thought you were just being polite. The truth was you didn’t care how he looked like; he was an insane and pleasant visitor, one who drew you to him.

“Wade. Haven’t you moved from Vanessa?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said that I’d meet somebody else. You will too.” The liquor was finished, and you felt bold. This stranger caused you fascination and once you found something out, you seeked more knowledge.

“Oh, my dear [Y/N]. I won’t.”

You tilted your head to a side, confused.

“Why? I like you and I just met you.”

“You are drunk and you just met me, that’s why.”

You laughed, and made an offended expression. His smirk was now permanent, sometimes wider, sometimes smaller, as if pastered on him. Nevertheless, melancholy and harm were shown in some of his gestures.

“I’m not that drunk.” You placed your gaze on his mouth. When you spotted some cream on the side of his face, you tried to reach it.

Wade suddenly took your wrist, but let it go. You slide your finger across his coarse skin. Then, you put your finger against your tongue and licked the rests of the sugary mix.

His heart skipped a beat.

“Besides, there’s always someone who would not care about your attitude.” You ended your sentence.

“It’s not about my attitude. I’m fucking awesome. It’s about my face.” He lowered the tissue over his mouth once again. “I look like a rotten avocado.”

“You’re saying you are ugly?”

“Worse.”

“Well, your mouth was nice.” It was a lighthearted comment, but it stired Wade’s deepest feelings.

“What? Did you see the skin around it?”

“Do you think I’m ugly?” You simply asked, hoping to prove a point.

“No. Of course not.”

“I have skin too, you know.”

“It’s not the same.”

Silence. And eventually he took his mask off.

You were surprised. You didn’t think he’d have the guts to do so, regarding how low his self-esteem was. Therefore, acting on impulse you pecked his lips. Then you froze and opened your eyes. Your drunkenness evaporated instantly.

“Sorry.” You spoke. He didn’t say anything. “I-I didn’t want to… I  mean, I wanted to but maybe you didn’t… I should have asked…”  

“Shut up.” Was all he could say.

Wade was utterly unprepared for your actions. Yet he found himself leaning in for another kiss. You didn’t move, and welcomed his mouth on yours. It was slow and chaste, just a kiss between two broken souls. He caressed your cheek, and you smiled into the kiss.

You parted from him, and he whispered.

“Are you a dream?”

“No, are you?” You teased.

“You are too good for me…”

“Says the one who fell from the sky like an angel and made me forget I got dumped on an altar.”

“You’re unfucking my life.”

“That’s not even a word.”

“You’re intelligent too?”

“Wade…”

“How about a second date? I promise I won’t try to get on your pants yet.”

“Yes.” You wanted to see him again. Definitely.

You weren’t aware of the insanity that had just entered your life. However, just like the broken window, you didn’t care. Everytime you saw Wade Wilson you felt happy and alive. So, even though it was a challenge, you couldn’t enjoy more the adventures he always brought. He, on the other hand, just loved how he could sleep in your arms without any worries.

Fate sometimes is a kind bitch, as Wade once said.

Astral, Ch. 1

Katsuki has a constant companion.

He’s not very happy about it, but it’s not like he has the right to complain. It’s all his fault, anyway.

„Yo, Bakugou, you seen that new game at the arcade? ‘s pretty good, wanna-“

“Fuck off,” Katsuki growls. “Fucking side-character.”

“Kacchan, that’s not very nice.”

Katsuki ignores the chastising voice. Tries to, anyway. He always does, in school at least.

“Look, he’s leaving now, Kacchan,” the voice continues. “And I know you don’t like it when they do that.”

He takes out his History notes and leafs through them. They’ve got a test coming up and Katsuki’s gonna fucking ace it. He’s number one in this shitty school. He’s gonna stay that way. Yuuei’s Entrance Exam isn’t too far off, either. Just a few months.

“Hey, I’m going back to Mom now. We’re doing my hero notes together. Come by later, I’ll show you!”

Despite his intentions, Katsuki looks up. The oddly translucent apparition of ten year-old Deku smiles happily at being acknowledged. “Fine,” Katsuki grunts. Stupid Deku’s smile widens. Then he disappears, and Katsuki is alone with his history notes.

Keep reading

Wrong Place Wrong Time (20)

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF!
Do not reuse, edit or copy and of my work(s). ©

Part 20 of an ongoing series, enjoy :)
A fanfic for a more Mature audience due to violence and language. Read at your own risk :)

Themes=😖,🌟,💣,🎭. (☠️- Harm towards characters, Strong language and Adult themes.)

Summary: You end up in the wrong place at the wrong time and it has negative repercussions. Main characters include: Reader and EXO.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4  Part 5 Part 6  Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18 Part 19  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34  Part 35 (Final)

Word Count: 2,708


Your heart was pounding out of happiness and fright. They came to save you which meant they cared enough. But now Minseok was being held at gun point, by Kris, who you thought had died. What on earth was going on?

“If you two even think of reaching for your holsters I promise you, I will shoot him so don’t you even dare.” Kris said smirking at Minseok. He was dangerously handsome and it was almost intimidating, it made your stomach rumble and before you knew it, you were involuntarily throwing your head forward and vomiting on Jongin’s shoe.

“Ah Y/N those were expensive.” He looked down at his feet in disgust, shaking what little he could off.
Your head was disoriented you couldn’t think straight and were on the verge of having a mental break down. Your stomach was spinning, the other hostage was still screaming and you were focusing on Kris’ gun resting on Minseok’s skull.

“Ugh for fuck’s sake shut up.” Without looking Kris reached his arm backwards shooting the screaming man directly in the centre of his forehead where the water had been dripping and brought his gun back to Minseok. How ironic, now there really was a hole in his head.

“Fuck it Kris, he was the only lead we had.” Jongin hissed angrily at the tall man, who was still wearing a disturbing smile on his face at a time like this.

“He was too loud I couldn’t concentrate, besides he wasn’t going to tell us anything anyway.” Keeping his gun aimed at Minseok, he walked round to Junmyeon and Sehun removing their guns from their holsters and slid them across the floor to Jongin. Frisking their pockets and searching for anything else.

“What the fuck is going on here, and why the fuck are you alive, you’re supposed to be dead!” Junmyeon stared at Kris, anger in his eyes, consuming him whole he was shaking violently now.

“Sit. Now.” Kris said, pushing his gun down into Minseok’s neck and looking at the other two men. If you thought Junmyeon had power then you were wrong, because the authority that Kris had right now was incredulous. They didn’t need to be told twice an immediately sunk down to the ground, Minseok not taking his eyes off of you. You had never seen him act so obedient in his life.
“There’ll be no violence and no questions until we’re done explaining all of this too you, but if one of you talk, interrupt or just piss me off in general I will shoot you, I’ve always had a bad temper right. At the end of the day, our squadron can do this without you.” He winked at Sehun, then almost immediately his smile disappeared as if it was never there in the first place. You had no idea what he meant by the last part. Squadron? How many traitors were there? Your heart began to thump against your chest. Did that mean more of Genesis were working for Red; Sehun? Kyungsoo…Chanyeol? No that couldn’t be possible …could it?

Jongin pulled out a small pen knife from his pocket and walked behind you. You held your breath, scared beyond belief, trying to prepare yourself for the sharp pain of a knife being stabbed into your back, but to your surprise all you felt was the rope around your wrist being loosened. He then walked back in front of you using the knife to cut through the rope around your torso and then bent down to cut the rope around your ankles. You let out a breath, why wasn’t Jongin hurting you? Not that you weren’t thankful for it, but wasn’t he supposed to be torturing you by this point. That’s always how it went in the films wasn’t it? You should’ve been beaten until you were black and blue, possibly with some teeth or fingers missing. But no. You were intact, unscathed. You hadn’t been touched at all. You heard a door being opened and closed, looking up you saw May walking in, her hands covered in black soot. She smelt like petrol and burning bodies. She smiled softly at Jongin and stood beside where you were sat, looking intently at scene unfolding in front of her.

“Let me explain to you what’s happening here.” Kris began, slowly lifting his gun from Minseok’s head and placing his hand down to his side. “If you thought we were the bad guys, you were wrong. If you thought we worked for Red…well theoretically you’re not wrong.” A warped smirk returning to his face.

“What do you mean you’re not the bad guys? You faked your death. Jongin shot Yixing and Chanyeol, abducted Y/N and fucking killed Luhan.” Junmyeon screamed his face was red and he was rocking back and forth on his haunches.

“I said don’t fucking interrupt me Junmyeon.” Kris raised his gun in Junmyeon’s direction pulling the trigger. You shrieked, but let out a breath when you realised he aimed for the wall behind. “The next one will be in the back of your skull if you try me again. Anyway as I was saying. We have our reasons for that. We work for Genesis to an extent. Well…” He touched his chin in thought, carefully selecting his next set of words. “We’re doing Genesis a favour; we’re trying to help you out. You see, for many reasons, that we’re not going to get into at this precise moment in time, we’re not keen on Red either. But surely you must know there is no way you can take Red down without infiltrating the base right?” He raised a brow. “That’s where we come in. You see, people like me and Jongin have easy access to The Red Corp due to the reasons we won’t be discussing now. The point is we gain information from the top and transport it to Genesis, all these hints and clues you were getting about the next big raids, the planned attacks, that was all from us. So you see we’re not the bad guys, we’re on your side. Do we all understand everything that Uncle Kris is saying?” He said in a patronising tone, smiling at the boys sat beneath him. Minseok shook his head furiously. Causing Kris to roll his eyes. “For fuck sake, it’s always you Minseok, what is it that you don’t understand?”

Minseok scoffed, looking up at Kris through dark eyes. “Oh I understand. I understand perfectly well. I just don’t believe you. I don’t buy any of this shit.” He shot Jongin a fierce look. “He took Y/N, shot the guys and killed Luhan and you really expect me to believe you’re on our side, you must be joking me.” He spat at Kris’s shoe, Kris rolling his eyes in response again.

“Ugh very classy Minseok. Very classy.” He lifted his foot kicking Minseok in the jaw. “This was all necessary, everything we’ve done up until this point. You see at first myself and Jongin didn’t know we were working for the same cause, but then we found out and began piecing things together bit by bit, giving you guys more clues, but we had to keep covert in order for this to work. Yixing was hot on Jongin’s tail since the death of Luhan so we had to plant it on somebody else. Sorry Minseok.” He gave him a childish smile.
“You see we had to bring Y/N here, otherwise you would never have listened to Jongin, you’d have killed him straight away, am I right? A very cute girl might I add, I hope she’s not taken.” He turned around to wink at you and licked his lips. Minseok staring at him with eyes full of hate.

“I don’t think so Kris.” Jongin stood in front of you defensively, stroking your cheek making your skin crawl somewhat. You looked up towards May who was staring at you as though you had just attempted to shoot a bullet through her chest.

“Oh. The both of you are screwing? Fuck I didn’t know.” Kris laughed, pulling a ‘well that could’ve been awkward’ face.

“So this is the bitch you’re always going on about Jongin. Wow you could do so much better.” May mumbled, shaking her head, but you had heard and Jongin did too, making him frown at her and elbowing her in the stomach.

“Anyway back to the topic at hand, we’ve reached a point where we need everyone’s help, so we’ve had to fill you guys in, but so help me God step out of line and I will not hesitate to kill anyone, do you understand.” Kris glowered, waving his gun around in the air.

“So you expect us to just roll over like dogs and do as you say?” Sehun scoffed.

“Well you’re already sitting like dogs and doing as I say, so why not go that extra mile, hmm?”

“No. No this has to be a joke. I don’t trust you guys I don’t believe this, I don’t know what you want from us, if you want us to turn our backs on Genesis and the others and join whatever cult you’ve got going on here, but it’s not happening.” Sehun shook his head.

“Sehun. Darling. If you keep interrupting me like this, your blood will be the new colour of paint on my wall.” Kris laughed bitterly, pointing at the wall behind Sehun.

“I’ve done bad shit in my life, but I will never join you. You worked together to kill Luhan there is no way on this blasted earth that I will join you!” Sehun shouted, tears streaming from his eyes and his face red.

“Well then I guess there’s no need for you to be a part of our private meeting. Bye Sehun, I’ll see you in hell, okay? Make sure you save me a comfy seat, one without cushions just won’t do.” He raised his gun upwards towards Sehun, who was still crying furiously.

 Your eyes went wide and you acted instinctively.

You dropped yourself onto the floor picking up one of the guns that Kris had slid towards Jongin’s feet and pointed it at him, your hands were shaking violently, you didn’t know what you were doing, but you had to do something.

“Drop it or I’ll shoot.” Your voice was shaky and in no way did you sound as confident as you wanted to come across but at this point in time you honestly didn’t care.

“Y/N, put the gun down.” Jongin hissed beside you, but you weren’t listening. You were still holding it up towards Kris, your hands still trembling.

“He said put it down you stupid bitch.” You heard May say, the next second you felt and intense burning pain ripping through your left leg. You looked down to see May stabbing you in the thigh. You shrieked out in pain, dropping to the floor, the pain was so extreme you couldn’t breathe; you had never experienced anything like it. “I’m sick and tired of your moaning and whinging. Cleaning up your piss and shit. I’m sick tired of Jongin always talking about you, as though I don’t exist, if he were clever he’d only have eyes for me.”


“May! What the fuck are you doing!” Jongin shouted, but he was too stunned to move, he stared at you mouth wide open.

In the midst of the distraction, Minseok had managed to run over to your side of the room.
“Christ. Y/N, its okay you’ll be fine we’ll get you out of here.” He ripped off his shirt, leaving his chest bare and tied it around your thigh to stop the bleeding.
Picking up the second gun from the floor Minseok lifted it in Kris’ direction and shot his foot, sending him dropping to the floor, screaming in pain and grabbing his foot. You were half a second away from having a panic attack.

“I’m tired of pretending to work alongside you guys, I swear Red better pay me triple my share for this shit. I’ll deal with killing you later.” May hissed looking at you whilst grabbing a bottle of chloroform from the side; she ripped the bottom of her shirt off and tipped some chloroform into the material. “But first I guess I have to deal with this feisty prick.” She pressed the material over Minseok’s mouth, at first he was trying to resist putting up a fight, but then you saw his eyes roll back into his head and his lids close. You were in too much pain to even cry out to him at this point, the sensation had spread and your whole body was on fire.

“What the fuck is going on!?” Junmyeon screamed, running up towards Minseok.

May grabbed the gun that was next to Minseok’s hand and pointed it down at him.
“Take a step closer to us pretty boy and I’ll blow your friends brains out.” Junmyeon’s body was shaking, but he began to retreat back to where Sehun and Kris were.

“Jongin, what the fuck is happening, I promise, I’ll kill you.” Junmyeon breathed staring at you and Minseok in horror.

“I don’t fucking know! This was never part of the plan I swear to you. May! What the fuck are you doing?!” Jongin screeched, pushing her against the wall, She used the hilt of her gun to whack Jongin across the head, causing him to bleed.

“I’ve given you so many opportunities to like me Jongin. We really could’ve been bigger and better you know. Red is the future, the profit he makes is huge, not Genesis. But you were too blind to fucking see that. I guess it was never meant to be.” She picked up the second gun next to you on the floor and stuffed it into her back pocket.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish getting rid of the bodies outside. Follow me and I’ll shoot him.” She said, hooking her hands under Minseok’s armpits and dragged him to the door. What was she doing what was going to happen. You were sobbing now out of pain and panic.

“Jongin, why are you doing this to us?” You cried, applying pressure to your thigh.

“This wasn’t part of the plan Y/N I told you! She’s corrupt and I didn’t know. I didn’t know she was actually on Red’s side, I thought she was one of us. This is besides the point we need to get out of here. Now” He picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, racing towards the door that the boys had come through not long before. “Junmyeon, Sehun. Help me get Kris into your car.”

You were breathing heavily, trying to ease the pain anyway you could, but it just wasn’t working. Jongin opened the door of the car and lowered you into the back seat.
“I’m so sorry Y/N you were never supposed to get hurt, nobody was ever supposed to get hurt. This is all my fault, I should’ve known. It’ll be okay, we’ll get you back I promise.” He shut the door and ran over to the other side opening it for Kris, who was lowered into the car beside you.

But your focus was on what you could see in the distance.

May.

There were two black vans in front of her. She picked up a green can of petrol and began splashing one of the vans with it. Lighting up a matchstick she held it in her hand.

“Say goodbye to your friend!” She shouted. Your heart began to bang in your chest.
 
No.

Minseok was in there, She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Minseok can’t die. Not now.

“FUCKING STOP. DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE! PUT IT OUT NOW! NOW!” Junmyeon screamed at the top of his lungs.

Time paused for a moment, your heart was beating irregularly. Surely she wouldn’t.

But you were wrong.

Her arms flew forward throwing the match at the van. It was instantly consumed in flames. The flames were high, bright and loud. At that moment you were oblivious to the pain in your leg. You were only aware of the pain in your chest.

You banged your fist against the car window and screamed the loudest you ever had in your life.

“NO! MINSEOK! NO!”

exo shitpost #2: exo at the carnival
  • junmyeon: alright assholes go wild
  • chanyeol: hoo boy i'm going to win me some prizes
  • baekhyun: you suck ass at everything what could you possibly win
  • chanyeol: that thing with the hammer
  • sehun: your arms are two limp noodles lmao
  • chanyeol: fuck you
  • luhan: your weak ass can't even get it past the halfway mark
  • chanyeol: i don't deserve this verbal abuse you try it
  • luhan: what. the fuck.
  • luhan: it doesn't work
  • sehun: excuses are for the cheap
  • luhan: this is bullshit, this game is rigged, and we are going home
  • -
  • yifan: ok junmyeon let us get wild
  • junmyeon: would you fuck off i will not ride a roller coaster
  • yifan: why
  • junmyeon: because i may shit myself
  • junmyeon: but also because i don't want to be seen next to your crusty ass
  • yifan: why did i ever love you
  • -
  • jongdae: fuck yes corndogs
  • kai: holy shit kyungsoo take it slow
  • kyungsoo: i am a hungry bitch today don't speak to me
  • jongdae: did you really just inhale that entire corndog
  • kyungsoo: it's not that big
  • kai: i can personally assure you he's seen bigger
  • jongdae: wow kyungsoo, king of the dick
  • kyungsoo: if you don't shut up right now i might eat you
  • -
  • zitao: fuck i lost my watch, i must have left it on the ferris wheel
  • minseok: you irresponsible fuck what did i tell you about leaving your goddamn shit everywhere
  • zitao: here, take my ice cream and put it on your tits because you need to chill
  • minseok: /rubbing nosebridge/ how much did that stupid thing cost
  • zitao: it was gucci
  • minseok: i just pissed my pants
  • zitao: relax jethro i have like ten more at home
  • minseok: what
  • zitao: eleven including the one i gave to candy
  • minseok: you have eleven gucci watches, one of which is for your dog, and you still gave me a fucking slurpee for my birthday
  • zitao: at least it was a jumbo size
  • minseok: you're dead to me
  • -
  • yixing: life is fantastic
  • kyungsoo: you're a cheery mf today aren't you
  • yixing: why are you so pessimistic, go inhale another corndog
  • kyungsoo: i can't eat too many, i'm corn intolerant
  • yixing: that's not a thing
  • kyungsoo: i'm also mildly allergic to dogs
  • yixing: that's,,,, not how it works
  • luhan: don't bother this is from the same guy who didn't know how dna works
  • kyungsoo: no more kimchi spaghetti for you
  • -
  • sehun: cotton candy BITCH
  • chanyeol: this is your fifth one, stop it
  • sehun: i am in love with this shit
  • chanyeol: diabetes says hello
  • sehun: i might dye vivi this colour
  • chanyeol: what the fuck she's not an easter egg
  • sehun: doggosthetic
  • chanyeol: s e h u n that's abuse pLEASE DON’T DO THAT
  • -
  • yifan: aw fuck
  • junmyeon: what now you overgrown baby
  • yifan: i'm too tall for the bumpercars
  • junmyeon: too bad
  • yifan: this is no fair
  • junmyeon: go ride something else you ingrate
  • yifan: that's it i'm putting you on the death drop
  • junmyeon: you better freaking not
  • yifan: hi yes one ticket for the death drop
  • junmyeon: nonononono im sure i don't meet your height requirement eheheh
  • yifan: don't worry dear, they have seats for shrimps like you!
  • junmyeon: WU YI FAN YoU fUckeR
  • yifan: enjoy bitchy!!
  • junmyeon: YoU haVe a laWSUiT oN YoUR handS
  • -
  • baekhyun: OFF TO THE HOUSE OF MIRRORS WE GO
  • jongin: i love the fact that i still look hot in all of these
  • jongdae: hey baekhyun this mirror's got me looking just like you
  • baekhyun: how so?
  • jongdae: makes me look ugly as shit
  • jongin: im piSSing
  • baekyun: this kind of commentary is the reason no one loves you
  • -
  • luhan: haunted house, leggo
  • zitao: fuck this shit i'm out
  • minseok: nah i'm in let's do it
  • yixing: zitao i'll protect you
  • zitao: too late i'm already crying
  • minseok: oh ShiT i am Spooked
  • zitao: AHAHADSHJF UHUHUHUH WAHHDHJFF
  • luhan: his soul has left him
  • yixing: you made it taozi, i’m proud of you
  • zitao: thanks yixing, the only thing that helped me through it was the fact that those goblins back there kinda resembled you and it was really funny
  • yixing: wow, this is basically bullying!
  • -
  • junmyeon: well boys, it's been fun
  • kyungsoo: no it has not
  • junmyeon: but we must head back to hell
  • yifan: he means home
  • junmyeon: trust me, i mean hell
Mixology - A Dirty Twist (M)

Monsta X Fanfiction

Pairing: Hyungwon X Reader

Words Count: about 6.5k

Warnings: Smut, Alcohol, Swearing with a dash of SMUT.

Part 1 of the Mixology collab series

Beta services & Moodboard by the amazing & talented: @baebae-goodnight


“Please” your friend Nicole pleads. Trying to convince you to leave the cosy confines of your apartment to go to a club. Everyone is talking about ‘Rush’ -the new hotspot. But you’re instantly suspicious the minute she asks you to go. She hates clubbing as much as you do.

Keep reading

In Another Life - Good Job, Baby

prompt: 

summary: a chaptered fic made up of a series of smutty oneshots taking place in the pastel!dan and punk!phil alternate universe

genre: smut, and possibly other things along the way (who knows)

warnings: in this particular oneshot - swearing, virginity, overstimulation, innocent!dan, handjob, blowjob, anal, dirty talk, size kink, lowkey praise kink uwu (wow kyra you just keep on going don’t you)

word count: 3087 (dammit)

a/n: okay yes! this is my fourth fic in a row, so i think i’m doing amazing with the ‘a fic a day’ thing. just to clarify, the following chapters to this fic will not be related to each other in anyway. the only thing they will have in common is pastel!dan and punk!phil, okay? okay. also, there are different prompts requested for each oneshot so ofc, it will all be different for each chapter, clear? alright now that that’s settled, everything phil did to dan was consensual and i had a lot of fun writing this. i would also like to thank holly for being there for me and beta’ing this fic. she is absolutely amazing :) i hope you guys liked this <33

Keep reading

noodle-bird  asked:

Hello lovely! How about a pynch au fic where Ronan and Adam meet when the fire alarms for their apartment building go off and everyone has to evacuate to the parking lot?

hey there!!! i am so sorry this is so late, and i don’t really have an excuse other than that life’s been incredibly busy – with good things, mostly, so that’s a plus at least. three notes: 1. this is definitely not a drabble of a couple hundred words, because i’m apparently terrible at keeping my own resolutions… but at the same time, 2. it’s also not a complete fic; it kinda feels like the start of one, and maybe i’ll write that au someday, but i decided to let this go for now or i would never fill your prompt, ack ^^;;; finally, 3. this is unbeta’d, so any mistakes (whether in the english or in general knowledge about american stuff) are exclusively mine. hope you enjoy!! <3

Adam didn’t need this. With midterms looming so close, and the opening shift at the coffee shop the following morning at ass o’clock, he was really looking forward to going over his chemistry notes one more time and then getting an early night. Instead, he had been forced out of his tiny flat and down four flights of stairs by a blaring siren.

Adam really didn’t need this.

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Dear Diary

TITLE: Dear Diary


CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 1 of 4

AUTHOR: Eclectica-posts

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki comforting you when you’re crying. He knows exactly what to do or say to help you through it.

RATING: Maure, with a lot more mature in further chapters

NOTES/WARNINGS:

THOR RAGNAROK SPOILERS


Smut, fluff and bad jokes.

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