wow landscapes

  • Me: wow this landscape is gorgeous where is this i wish I could go th...
  • Me: *squints*
  • Me: this is a video game isn't it

I definitely suck at goodbyes.

Every time there are so many things coming to my mind at once… First of all, those things I always wanted to say and never found that one right occasion. Then these things I’m painfully aware I have to say right now otherwise I’ll look insensitive or disinterested. More things I think would be useful as future advice because hey I see myself just as smart as everybody else see themselves. And things of the silly kind which should enlighten a mood already ruined beyond any hope.

Instead? All I managed to say were the usual mindless platitudes. Take care. I’ll miss you. Yeah me too. You know where you can find me. So these were all the words you took along when you left… and all those thoughts got left behind.

You said you will come back but… will I be there? Will I be the same, will you be the same, will the “us” be still the same? No, nothing will be the same. You, I, we will be changed. Time does that to people. Two faces deceptively looking unchanged and behind them a warm pile of fuzzy memories staying in our way (in our ways?) and some out of place expectations coated with a fresh sting. Two shoes worn by different roads.

And all I can do is to write notes about yet another beer, because that’s all I can do. Its sunset haze matches the quince jelly of the evening, thick memories and bitter thoughts. That’s what is left of our team: me, the lake of Zurich, a Domleschger Hells and your image.