wow im so not even funny

Me while listening to the heathers soundtrack for the first time
  • me during Beautiful: wow this is great and really funny.
  • me during Candy Store: wow for a song about some huge bitches this sounds really good.
  • me during Fight for me: I wish I could see the musical so I can see how they act out the songs.
  • me during Freeze your Brain: aww sad back story
  • me during Big Fun: haha this is funny- wait, did Heather almost get raped?
  • me during Dead Girl Walking: WOW THANKS FOR TELLING ABOUT HER ANGRY SEX THANKS. also you can pinpoint exactly when they climax
  • me during The Me Inside of Me: wait. what happened? did someone die? im confused
  • me during Blue: WOW. THIS IS. WOW. OKAY. AND THIS IS HAPPENING? HER 'FRIENDS' WONT EVEN HELP? WHAT but tbh it sounds good
  • me during Our Love Is God: wow this is actually sweet. I wish I said someone to worship me. I wish I had a love that is like god. this is beautiful and- FUCK HOLD ON NVM. YOU CAN HEAR HIM GOING CRAZY FUCK THIS MUSIC IS A MASTERPIECE
  • My during Dead Gay Son: 10/10 increadible anD THE DADS ARE GAY TOO? KILL ME OML
  • me during Seventeen: uhh, y'all cant come back from killing ppl. there is no more normal for you. also how did you get away with that?
  • me during Shine a Light: wow what the fuck is happening here. is a teacher really telling them her life story? fuck. miss you need to see a therapist.
  • me during Lifeboat: wow really good and relatable but whos singing???? I may never know
  • me during Shine A Light Reprise : fuCK NOW THATS HOW YOU DO A GODDAMN REPRISE 100/10 FUCK ME
  • me during Kindergarten Boyfriend: skip
  • me during Yo Girl: wow that escalated quickly also haha i get the joke jd ur clever
  • me during Meant to Be Yours: wow what a perf transition also character development has never been better
  • me during Dead Girl Walking Reprise: FCUK THESE PPL KNOW HOW TO WRITE AND PREFORM A REPRISE I CAN FEEL THE DRAMA ITS SO GOOOOOOOD. ALSO SYMBOLISM IS 10/10 LIKE THE
  • me during I Am Damaged: so... hes dead? and im crying? okay
  • me during Seventeen Reprise: EVERY SONG IS GOOD AND IM CRYING AND IM GONNA LISTEN TO IT AGAIN AND AND OKAY

anyways im so glad brooklyn 99 exists like… tha show has never let me down?? ever??? they always outdoing themselves like whenever i think “man how they gon pull this off” THEY DO IT??? and when im like “wow how can they make this funny and not offensive..” theyre like Like this bitch! and im SHOOK! ALL! THE! TIME! omg and even when they got my FAVORITE CHARACTER GINA LINETTI A CHARACTER I RELATE TO SO MUCH and look UP to get hit by a fuckin BUS! i was deadass laughing my ass off? LIke she got HIT by a BUS! how me…… anyways i lov brooklyn 99 they never let me down ever and im thankful  it exists. thank u for reading this

after you read your own writing like a million times you begin to be unable to look at it critically lol
like its hard to tell if you think it sucks because it actually does suck, or because you’re a self depreciating perfectionist with low self esteem

wow, i am just so CHILL. i wouldn’t even care if i was hanging out with some female friends and they, i dunno, had me play dress up as in frilly dresses, or put makeup on me as a joke
i guess im just really confident in my masculinity and committed to jokes
yeah, im so manly that i don’t have to act like im allergic to girly things to consider myself a man, and care more about comedy than anything else
just a really funny, chill, manly guy
so anyways back to the dress up: i wonder if the girls would loan me- i mean, make me wear, high heels

ooh wowie 1000 followydingdongs would you look at that i just can’t believe it haha jeeze louise my gosh isn’t that just fantastic darn

I feel like It’s too late to make this joke but Dan still jokes about doge and it’s a 2013 meme so I have permission to do this

also wow thanks but I’m a loser and this blog sucks tbh

3

Ya know Chris tagged a few of us in this post and I got carried away. Happy birthday Dad!

Ft. From left to right. @jaxcekijin @donttouchmyprincessparts @curtisgrahamcracker @caez-sucks (Caez’s boyfriend) and @sailershanty

I was going to add more but I kind of ran out of time. But honestly you’re the best dad, and it’s been a fucking adventure to say the least, from the streams, to the skype calls, to just screaming in chat about starwars… Becoming part of the self insert hell brought me out of my art block and so much has happened since then. I hope you’re birthday is enjoyable and not too stressful.

Also I still just type Daddy into my browser and it takes me to your blog. That’s something you’ll never live down. (ノ◕◡◕)ノ゚✧゚・:*
THE SIGNS EMBARRASED
  • Aries: ........I will kill all of you
  • Taurus: Whatever
  • Gemini: Shut up I'm not even blushing *is bright pink*
  • Cancer: Oh wow sorry I'm so dumb *about to cry*
  • Leo: Fuck dis fuck u
  • Virgo: *INTERNALLY SCREAMING*
  • Libra: HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO FUNNY GUYS
  • Scorpio: Don't touch me
  • Sagittarius: Oh well!!!
  • Capricorn: Gets a lump in their throat
  • Aquarius: Stares at a wall for the next ten minutes
  • Pisces: *is used to it by now*

@hanzotitmada

:D well i’ve had a crush on this one girl for a long time and i always get mixed signals but she’s super cute and supportive and kinda bitchy but like the funny “im gonna make fun of you for that” bitchy and literally the cutest girl ive ever seen ??? like woW????

and the other is in my study abroad program and it’s more like “ayee youre super cute” crush but i did talk to them! I thought it was a she at first but when i asked they said their name was Sean/Shawn (or atleast it sounded like that) so i’m not sure about their gender, but they’re also super nice and they even go to school in Maryland at a university i know! so yeah i look forward to talking to them in the future hopefully…..

so idk yet if they’re similar but like they kinda look similar? i guess i have a type :o

The progression of things I have actually said out loud while playing Dragon age in relation to Fenris.

• “What’s up with this lying, asshole elf, my mage did nothing to you… asshole”

• “oh, rival achieved who’s my rival…. FENRIS COME ON!!! I’ve known you for like an hour, shit…”

• “Wow, wtf, i hate you, im not even gonna revive you as punishment because you are an uncrunchy leaf in life

• “I’m gonna cut you slack because you’re pretty…”

• “Ah shit, this dude’s been through batter-fried hell and then dropped on a dusty floor… poor elf.”

• “Tevinter was fucked up, who does that shit, bro im gonna defend you, no worries, no worries, ur an kinda an asshole but i gotchu”

• “Oh, wow, i can romance him… im gonna

• “Aw, he smiled, that’s so cute ”

• “He’s pretty much the cutest person here, like honestly look at his lil angry face”

• “woW MY hawke just slammed him into the wall and kissed the shit out of him…good stuff, good elf ”

• “…HE’S WEARING THE FAVOR ON HIS WRIST THAT IS SO CUTE OH MY GOD, bby

• “he left me…. im inconsolable… why am i even playing this game… ”

• “HE’S BACK LORD YES PRAISE”

• “I love him so much

• “Oh god, I love him so much

• “Fenris is perfection and beauty and im so glad i finished this game and romanced him and he’s just beauty and grace….ey, but honestly, my first point was dead on, he’s an asshole

04

oh boy here we go!! IM SORRY IF IM BAD AT THIS JSONFORNG I love you sosososososo much its unreal you make me sososos happy its not even funny! ur my sweet peach and the color yellow! when I see your texts i am always so smiley and I love dragging you so much nd it makes me laugh because I love you so much its my favorite. i am so glad your in my life and i wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. I am honestly grateful my whiney ass complained for once hahaha  I can literally talk to you about anything and Im way happier and i hope to know you for the rest of my life. you’re someone i want my kids to know and I just i hope we really own a little yellow house and have out willow tree by our pond and just be happy together!! I know i say it like 8000 times but i love you! so much! newyas this is too soft imm send u some pics of bbh fingers to balance my extra softness pirnpirnpdinbvg


mutuals send me a number and ill talk about u

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: why did chloe have to die to save arcadia bay? max gets the vision of the tornado way before she saw chloe get shot by nathan. and the storm is still happening in the alternate universe so how does that measure out? is chloe supposed to be dead in every timeline? wow, dontnod loves burying it's gays regardless of the timeline. and why did max even get her powers if she was just gonna get punished for using--

me: *loves all the black butler series and the manga and its so funny i love it*

me: *goes on tumblr*

me: hmmm i wonder how the fandom is

fandom: YES YES 12 YEAR OLD CIEL DO THE SEXY SEX WITH OLD DEMON SEBASTIAN WOW SUCH A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

me: …

fandom: YES YES LOOK AT SEBASTIAN PINING FOR BABY 12 YEAR OLD CIEL WOW LETS MAKE THEM HAVE HARCORE BDSM SEX YES

me: ….good bye

  • dan: i love you to bits
  • phandom: 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

I would like to consider myself “woke”.

I am up on game. You feel me? #BlackLivesMatter, cultural appropriation, white supremacist exist, LGBTQ Rights, Donald Trump is poison, conspiracy theories are relevant, niggas is dyin, America ain’t shit highkey….

All that

But sometimes when I’m online, a nigga just wanna laugh. I don’t wanna think about “how much that video just stereotyped black people”

I don’t want to read a meme & automatically think “wow what a misogynistic thing to say”

“That’s so homophobic”

“Omg how insensitive”

SHIT EVEN WHILE TYPING THIS , IM DELETING SHIT SO I DONT SEEM TOO MUCH LIKE AN ASSHOLE OR MAKE YALL CRY AND SHIT

I don’t always want to advocate, or argue, or waste time being offended.

Like sometimes shit can just be funny!!!!!!! Sometimes I just want to laugh my nigga. Cause if I don’t laugh Imma drive myself crazy.

Some of Y'all should try it out sometime 👌🏾