wow i told myself this morning

I'm stupid
  • Lol you guys... I think I'm totally being ghosted. By my ex I started speaking to again. I'm so fucking stupid why did I do this to myself. I feel hurt af but at the same time I'm like wow Sam, you're a dummy you should've listened to your instincts and told him to fuck right off. IM SO DUMB.
  • In other news I'm on the way to the gym for my morning cardio.

So I go and try to kinda joke with my mom by saying “I don’t get the term ‘losing your virginity’ it makes it sound like I misplaced my virginity. Like, oops I can’t find my virginity.” And so she looks me dead in the eye and says “It’s losing something you can’t get back, like someone dying.” And in my head I’m like wow mom chill.

But seriously the word virgin means untainted. Does that mean when you have sex you are tainted? And comparing losing your virginity with death is ridiculous. 

You don’t morn the lose of your virginity. But young women, like myself, are told that we need to hold on to our virginity like our lives depend on it. Like we are losing apart of ourselves. But virginity doesn’t exist, it’s an abstract idea.

You are exactly the same as you were before you have sex than after you do the first time.