wow i thought people would yell at me or something for that post

Star (Poly!Hamilsquad x Reader)

Words: 4000+

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sex, ?

A/N: an anon requested a poly!hamilsquad x reader soulmate au and i had no idea how to do it so it’s been in my inbox for like a month. im so sorry i took so long ;-; i never posted this late (or early before so enjoy!)


“Y/N, for crying out loud, aren’t you the tiniest bit curious as to who it might be? I mean, come on, you have an incomplete triangle on your wrist!” Angelica said, trying to pull up your sleeve. You swatted her hand away, pushing it back down. She always pestered you about the mark on your wrist. Since she does not have one of her own, she tells you that she lives vicariously through you.

There were only a handful of people in the world that had markings on their skin. It was what scientists called soulmate links, people you were meant to be with. Unfortunately for you, and this was your opinion, you hated being one of the few to have it. You didn’t believe in people “meant to be together”, and would rather just find someone that you loved for who they are, not what your skin says.

And the mark on your wrist was so small, it could just be a birthmark.

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Blackmail

wolfstar introvert prompt: internet crush

“Well, well, well,” James sang. “Look who’s back.”

Sirius snorted at the lame trademark introduction.

“Today you are in for a lucky treat! Not only will I be doing a live stream Q & A, but I’ll be doing it,” James paused for dramatic effect and yanked Sirius in by the arm, “with Pads!”

Popping up on the Youtube screen, Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t get too excited or you’ll give yourself a heart attack.”

“One can hope.”

James dug his elbow into Sirius’ ribs. To the side of the video, comments were flying by.

“Wow, people are freaking out about Pads. Damn, I’m kind of hurt, what am I—”

“Chopped liver,” Sirius cut in. “Don’t feel bad, Prongs, you’re at a natural disadvantage going up against me.”

James punched him in the arm. “First question, EmoUnicorn asked what’s your favorite prank?”

Sirius slowly eased into being on camera live, throwing in winks, slipping in sarcastic quips, play-arguing with James. After answering the final question, James grinned wickedly.

“Now, before we go I thought we could answer the question you all keep asking—how the hell did I get Pads to join in?”

“Firstly, you’re all nosey bastards.” Sirius leaned forward. “Second, I have been oh so fucking blackmailed.”

“What was the blackmail, you may ask?” James sighed happily.

“None of your business!”

“I am so glad you asked, because it’s my most beautiful creation yet, which is saying something.”

Before James could go on, Sirius blurted, “It’s a video.”

Comments zipped by, what video????? James narrated Sirius’ continuous head banging out of the camera’s view.

“This is what you get for cutting nipple holes in all of my shirts,” he snarked. “I made a video compilation of secret recordings of Pads’ raging thirst.”

Head planted on the table, Sirius snapped, “I’m not fucking thirsty you fuckface.” Sitting back up, he added in a dignified voice, “I merely have recently started to appreciate someone in a friendly way.”

“Oh, but the video disagrees.”

“That video proves nothing!”

“Oh really? Well, what’s the harm in posting it then?”

“I swear to Satan’s asshole I will cut out your kidneys, sell them for a shit ton of money, and throw you in a garbage dumpster.”

“Careful folks, thirst can have side effects of psychosis and violent urges.”

Sirius slumped against the couch, grumbling, “Not thirsty.”

“Everyone’s asking to post the video, so fuck you guys for wanting me to get killed, but I will tell you what’s in it.

“A few pieces of Pads singing stupid love songs in the shower, several shots of him spacing out with a dopey smile, one clip looking smitten as a kitten while watching one of said lover’s videos, some other stuff, and my personal favorite, a three minute video of Pads ranting about those beautiful eyes and how much he wants to–”

Sirius shoved James so hard he fell onto the floor with a squawk. When James got back up, Sirius shoved him down again because he had revealed that Sirius watched videos which meant Sirius’ totally-not-crush is a Youtuber.

“What the—no it’s not Lockhart!” Sirius gagged at the guesses people were making. “No, they’re not well known.”

James re-climbed up. “The reason he’s looking smug is because he doesn’t want people to see the love of his life. So fucking jealous.”

James slapped Sirius’ hands before he could shove him again. Sirius scowled.

“Good-fucking-bye you whores and to my main whore,” he turned to James, “don’t even think about continuing this topic while I’m gone.”

“Have fun watching their videos!” James yelled as Sirius walked away.

“That’s not what I’m doing!”

Sirius closed his door and climbed into bed, starting up his laptop. He clicked the bookmark to Wolfboy13’s Youtube channel and replayed his favorite video, the one where Remus ranted about colonialism while hyped up on too much caffeine. Sirius melted into his pillows, having to bite his lip to keep from giggling loud enough that James would hear. Remus’ dark curls were sticking up, not under a beanie for once, and the brightness in his emerald eyes was especially visible.

Sirius replayed 3:46-3:52 six times, when Remus falls out of his chair and perks back up, cheeks flushed from laughing uproariously.

anonymous asked:

Heeey! Can you do a reaction about jealous BTS?

Sure thing! I’m gonna make it a “reaction to BTS’s girlfriends getting hit on” I’m so excited about these requests I’m getting from y’all  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I hope you like it!!

BTS: Reaction to their girlfriends getting hit on~Jealousy

♥ Jin: He thought today was the perfect day. No practice, no performing, just a beautiful day with his girlfriend whom he loved so much. You were all dressed up for him. He adored how beautiful you were, and he thought that he’d want to show you off to the world! That is, until people started looking. He heard the talking and he wasn’t gonna stand for that.

“(Y/n), let’s just go home. We’ll order to go.” Jin was clenching his fists and frowning. You looked in his eyes and giggled. 

“Jinnie, I didn’t get ready for nothing. Plus, I haven’t been on an actual date with you in forever.” You gave him a pout he couldn’t resist. He took in a deep breath and sighed heavily.

“Whatever you say, beautiful girlfriend of mine.” He said loudly, causing the whole crowd to look at you.

Originally posted by fawnave

♥ Yoongi: You needed to go shopping today, and your boyfriend who preferred sleep over shopping, decided to go with you. Why? Because he knew just how beautiful you were. He knew damn well other guys looked at you and tried to talk to you. He wouldn’t stand for it. 

 “Yoongi, I need underwear.” You stopped in front of Victoria’s Secret. 

“No way, I’m not going in there.” He said while crossing his arms. He loved to see what you buy and what you wear for him, but he felt embarrassed about going in such a place.

“Fine, wait here.” You were a little gloomy about him not coming in with you. You walked in, and Yoongi heard boys talking next to him.

“Wow what a hottie. Let’s go get her.” 

Yoongi quickly walked in after you. No wAy was he letting some other boy come close to you. He hugged you from behind, watching as your hands shifted through lingerie.

“Yoongi?” You tilted your head back to look at him. “You ok?”

“You’re never leaving the house again, that’s final.”

Originally posted by jeonbase

♥ Namjoon: You recently posted a picture of yourself on Instagram. It was a picture that made you feel confident. Not revealing, but Namjoon saw the end of the world when he thought of the comments that you would receive for being so cute. And shit was he right. He stalked that picture of yours (screen shotting it and setting it as his lock screen, of course). Suddenly, a comment popped up, saying “DM me.” He got heated and yelled at you in the kitchen from the living room.

“(Y/N)!!” He set his phone down and huffed heavily. You ran in, thinking something was wrong. Spatula in hand, and cute frilly apron on. His eyes grew soft when he saw you, and his voice got gentle. “Don’t listen to him. Don’t listen to boys. Look at me and only me. Delete your Instagram!” He pouted the cutest pout in the world. You loved his jealousy, it made you feel secure.

“Who are you talking about Namjoon?” You wondered what got him all started up.

“That boy… He commented on your picture…” He mumbled.

Originally posted by ksjknj

♥ Hoseok: His girlfriend was a model. (Y/n) was stunning, and she was the most beautiful girl in his eyes. He never thought he’d have an issue with jealousy, until he saw other male models and singers go after her. He kept quiet about it for a while, because he trusted you. And he did the right thing to trust you. You turned down any man that tried to talk to you because you were loyal to Hobi, and he was grateful for that.

But when you got the lead part of a drama, and you were told you had a kiss scene, he lost his shit. He stood in front of the guy you’d be kissing, giving all the attitude he contained.

“That’s my princess. If your filthy lips touch hers I’ll make sure you’re never able to kiss anyone again.” He said with no hesitation. 

Originally posted by nnochu

♥ Jimin: He angrily watched as his best friends hands touched all over his girls body. Why was this happening? It was all for show. For the MV they were working on. The producers thought it would be fun if (Y/n) ended up with someone that wasn’t her actual boyfriend, and oh boy did Jimin hate it. He’s never wanted to strangle Taehyung so badly. He knew it wasn’t his fault but he couldn’t help the way he felt. 

When the scene was over, you walked over to Jimin with a smile. “Are you ok? You look really mad…” You couldn’t stop smiling because you knew he was jealous, and it was super cute to you.

“Ok? Ok?!” He spoke in his accent, a turn on for you. “I don’t like this. (Y/n), you’re not gonna be in the MV anymore. We’ll get another girl to play the part.” He watched for your reaction with intense, dangerous eyes that wouldn’t allow you to reject.

Originally posted by chimcheroo

♥ Taehyung: He knew it was just work. Taehyung has been dealing with this crap for over 2 years now and he reached his peek. He came to meetings with you even if he was busy, because he knew there was a man with hungry eyes, watching your every move. 

Taehyung was very calm when it came to his jealousy. He was very afraid to lose you though. As he sat with you in your meeting, he eyed the man shamelessly, embarrassing you a little. You asked him to stop but he’d just brush you off. When the meeting was over, you grabbed Tae’s cheeks and kissed him gently. 

“Do you think I’d go for a jerk like that. Look at me, I love YOU TaeTae.” You smiled gently. He licked his lips nervously and looked down, biting his lip gently after. 

“I hope so…”

Originally posted by toughchim

♥ Jungkook: Jungkook knew his jealousy was getting the best of him, but he couldn’t help but take it out on you. Your ex from many years back decided to text you to ask you out on a coffee date to catch up. “How does he have your number?”

“Jungkookie, I haven’t changed my number since I was 14, of course he still has it.” You whined softly. You were on the brink of tears. “He texted me Kookie, don’t be mad at me. I didn’t even text him back…”

Jungkook heavily sighed and clenched his fists. He held his hand out. “Phone.” He demanded, and you gave it to him. He started furiously typing away, telling that boy off. He handed it back to you and tried to stay calm. “If he replies, block him.”

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

trans dipper stuff !! !

• the reason he wears a hat all the time is when he was like 9 and started realizing he wasn’t a girl, his parents wouldn’t let him cut his hair short but they would let him buy the star hat. so he put his hair up in it and wore it all the time. when he turned 11 or 12, they let him cut his hair short, but he kept the hat bc he was so used to having it on his head.

• and like what if his parents didn’t ever let him cut his hair? or really accept that he wasn’t a girl? and then on the bus in the middle of the trip to gravity falls he just got up and muttered something like “nope, i can’t stand this anymore” and got up and headed for the lavatory at the back of the bus. and Mabel jumped up after him and started banging on the door and yelling bc what if he’d done something really horrible?? but then he just opens the door with kiddie scissors in his hand (from mabel’s Craft Suitcase) and his hair is all weird and messy but it’s //short// and he’s grinning kinda and “sorry i scared you mabel. there was just no way i was gonna meet people i’ll be spending the summer with while i had long hair.” And that’s why his hair is so messy

• in the previous scenario i mentioned, dipper buys his binders from the same site mabel buys her sweaters from, so the parents don’t really bother to check through pages and pages of receipts that say things like “MEOW WOW MID-PURPLE BEDAZZLED SIZE M” for Trans Activity

• stan somehow doesn’t?? know??? enough abt his grandchildren to know that dipper is trans? which is why he gives dipdop the whole pituitary gland talk. like he’s been so out of touch that he hasn’t had much knowledge about dip and mabel before now so he’s just like ‘hi dipper hi mabel!’ when they step off the bus and calls dip by he pronouns and dipper is so relieved

• mabel reads everything she can get her hands on about binder safety and being respectful on pronouns and stuff like that when dipper comes out to her, and she sticks bedazzled post-it notes that say things like ‘remember to cough!’ and stickers that have like 'UR A RAD DUDE’ on them in neon bubble letters, in places dipper will see them

• she swears to dipper that if their parents kick him out, she’s packing up and leaving with him.

Taehyung as your boyfriend

Originally posted by jeonthegreat

  • if u get to date this beautiful creature then i think you saved planet earth in your past life because honestly he is the good in the whole world compressed into a human bean being
  • yo i think he could fall in love at first sight but it wouldn’t really be love because it happens to me too and i believe that taehyung just sees the good in people and believes that everyone does only positive things
  • this isn’t a bad thing and i’m not saying he’s very naive or anything, just that he is very open in front of people in general and believes in everyone and thrusts everyone
  • i love him for that
  • DERIVING FROM THE SUBJECT GURL KEEP UR HEAD INTO THE GAME
  • so yeah i see him seeing you as a nice person the first time he sees you but in my opinion he would also fall in love with his best friend
  • i dunno why, maybe it’s just me, who knows, but i don’t really see him attaching so very deeply to someone he just met 
  • but he would be worse than kook
  • he would also be like “hyung aren’t they amazing” but in addition to that he would also say “i wanna date them”. like. not just one time. like 50 times. every day. the members are going crazy
  • also, there’s another problem
  • taehyung loves skinship
  • not as much as hobi but tae l o v e s being around you and touching you
  • it comes natural, so he doesn’t even realize it, but when the boys start to point out that he is very close to you he starts to realize that he is, in fact, kinda dating you but without the honorifics and the kisses and other good stuff
  • so guess what
  • he thinks that
  • say it with me
  • he is in the friendzone
  • it’s a harsh place that i’ve been to but like
  • he doesn’t know you like him back
  • so you kinda have to confess bc he isn’t going to he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship
  • or the boys have to tell you to confess because they don’t want to hear tae whining about how you aren’t his every day
  • so you do confess and tae is very very happy because he doesn’t have to hold on anymore
  • and he just picks you up and spins you around while hugging you and when he puts you down he kinda pecks your lips but he acts like nothing happened but his ears are red and his cheeks feel warm and he has that cheeky cute big boxy grin on his face and his eyes twinkle and he looks so happy cuz now he can call you his
  • so yeah, now that you guys are now a couple nothing really changes
  • the cuddles are still there but they are cuter now with lil kisses and giggles and puns and everything is cute with taehyung
  • he says that he wants to have a family with you and he says he is already prepared and he gets a tiny puppy out of thin air and just
  • taehyung u dork
  • unless u are allergic to them (he will whine a little bit but will totally get a kitty or some rabbit or a fish or something he really loves animals)
  • when he does something very well and is proud of himself (like get the choreography perfect or write a full verse for a song or even doing a very hard puzzle) he will yell your name and start running to where you are to show you sO CUTE MY HEART
  • whenever you enter the room he gets all flashy eye-smiled eyes and a big big smile gets on his face and his heart just does the thing and this will forever happen, no matter how long you’ve been together
  • he would also give good hugs and it doesn’t matter where you guys are, if he wants to hug you 15 minutes, he’ll hug you 15 minutes. maybe 20 because why not
  • his kisses would be the same
  • he will kiss you until he will get out of breath or you push him away because you gotta breathe and he will just be like “i’ll be your air from now on” and he thinks he’s all manly and stuff but before you can giggle at his words he just goes back in to kiss you again
  • and his kisses would be great he’s a great kisses and a playful one and he’d totally lick ur nose or cheek when you are alone before you kiss but when he’s out he wants to show the others how manly he is and he keeps one hand around your waist and the other on the back of your head or he’s holding both of your cheeks but you know he’s still a nerd so you find it kinda funny
  • until you actually find it hot
  • bc serious taehyung is my weakness and it’s yours too don’t lie
  • anyway, your dates would be cute and simple and he wouldn’t be one to try and impress you with fancy dates because he wants to be transparent and it just isn’t him and you are probably okay with it
  • he would take you to parks just to walk and talk and he is vv good with deep talk because he is also very intelligent??? am i the only one seeing it??????
  • he would also take you to dog cafes and you would probably drink ur drink and pet a doggo and then you see taehyung with like 20 puppies over him being the happiest man alive honestly what is he even
  • he isn’t weird tho and people think he is but you realize after spending some time that he just has such an open-minded mind and he thinks such complex thoughts that when he speaks everything seems weird but when he explains why he said that it all actually makes sense someonE PLEASE MAKE THIS CANON
  • k i think i’m ready for da smutty smut
  • so this fucker will have no problem with initiating sex
  • but he’d be s o awkward the first time
  • he doesn’t know where to put his hands the first times
  • i mean he is a sucker for the booty but he’s too afraid to touch it in this situation
  • he’d be pretty playful though, no matter how many times it happens
  • i mean, the only time he won’t be playful is when he’d be gone for long
  • wow ok so we’re not doing the smut because i’ve been stuck on it for idk three months? rose kind of started the list and i continued it but i just stopped here but don’t worry i’ll make a separate post later i promise
  • no more smutty smut for tae i just can’t imagine him in a sexual environment i’m sorry
  • ok 
  • wow he’s not jealous?? he loves everyone and anyone and every stanger is his friend but strangers aren’t strangers for tae it seems like everyone knows him and he knows everyone
  • and when someone flirts with you he trusts you enough and he knows that you will send that person off
  • he isn’t possessive either, just very clingy and protective
  • he’ll walk on the outer side of the sidewalk
  • he’ll hold your hand tightly when you are in a crowd
  • he’ll give you his jacket if you’re cold
  • if you have to check something on your phone or in your purse or outfit and you’re outside, he’ll protect you from the wind
  • he’d totally braid your hair
  • “i want to already know everything i have to know when we have our first babygirl”
  • and then silence but he has this content smile while he smoothly combs your hair
  • he’s so sweet and ethereal wtf
  • sometimes he’ll drop everything, go to you, stop whatever you are doing and hold you and gaze into your eyes
  • because woah he just thought about how you are his and he got all emotional and soft and he can’t believe you’re real and actually his so he has to treasure you until you both can’t see without glasses and have white hair and he doesn’t want to shave anymore and his grandchildren call him santa claus and your hands look old and your face is full of wrinkles
  • so that, even when you two are old and grumpy, he can still call you his before you go to bed
  • someone hold me i just got emotional just
  • bruh
  • get yourself a taehyung
  • and if you have one fucking treasure him with all your might because he’s a keeper do not hurt him just don’t
  • he deserves love and i’m sure you do too


I’M SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT BUT I GOTTA POST SOMETHING RIGHT

i’ll rewrite it in the future, i’m sure about it. but not right now.

so, uh, enjoy this piece of shit?? please????

~admin alexa

Rebound girl // Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word count: ~5000

Warnings: Anti Danneel (for the purpose of this fiction she had to be a b*tch, but she is not his wife and they don’t have children for this fiction!), language and maybe it’s a bit angsty-ish? but I guess this is it If I’m missing something please let me know!

A/N: This is my entry for @casbabydontgoineedyou ‘s 1k follower challenge, my prompt was “Wait… You think I’m pretty?” (it’ll be bold in the text) and it’s also my first piece of fiction I’m posting here on tumblr! 

A/N 2: Part 2 (and other stories of mine) can soon be found on @not-moose-squad

Originally posted by violet-phantomhive


Jensen’s POV

Being with Danneel was tiring. She wasn’t the woman I fell in love with two years ago. 

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No Regrets - Something Just Like This

Not a request but the amazing @mysupernaturalfics made a trailer for my Living with Regrets series (Find it here) and she used the song Something just like this by Coldplay. I haven’t been able to get this idea out of my head since so here goes.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Implied smut, lots and lots of fluff.

Word Count: 1212 (dammit again not a drabble.)

A/N: This is a drabble complication. All drabbles fit into the universe I created for my Jensen x Reader series Living with Regrets. Most can be read as stand alone, but will also very much be part of the series.

This takes place a few months after part 9 of Living with Regrets. Jensen and Y/N are married and attending JIBcon for the first time as a married couple.

Thanks to the amazing sweet @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester for betaing this for me on short notice.

LIVING WITH REGRETS MASTERPOST

NO REGRETS MASTERPOST

Jensen and Rich had left the stage a few songs ago and you had been hiding from Jensen ever since. You hadn’t planned on singing at Jailbreak but this long weekend had been like a second honeymoon for the two of you. Becca was home and having the time of her life at her uncle Jared’s house, driving Tom and Shep crazy.

You and Jensen had been trying for a baby for a few months now, it was the right time a month for you to really try and Jensen was taking his part of the job more than seriously. Maybe your little stunt Friday had awoken something in him or maybe it was just the beautiful European city or the fact that the two of you were away together for the first time since you got married in January.

All you knew was you were more in love with him than ever and you felt that. You felt the love that the fans seemed to have regained for you. It had been a bumpy road between you and them for a while, since they had been very protective of Jensen. Not knowing your entire story had made it hard for them to accept the woman that re-appeared in his life with his kid in tow after have been gone for over four years.

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Making Dreams Come True

Summary: Dan is in an A Capella group with his two best friends. They’ve been working hard the past two years to get big, and their dream comes true when music producer, Phil Lester, discovers them and wants to work with them.

Genre: AU, Fluff

Word Count: 2,544

A/N: You have no idea how happy I was to combine my two favorite things! Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you had in mind but I still had fun writing this.

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if this Twitter response didn’t break your heart, idk what will. even if we weren’t subscribers in say, 2009 or 2010, we’ve all pretty much watched videos from then and looked at his current videos and thought “wow, look how much he’s changed” he used to be so full of self hate and insecurity, and now that he’s finally in a bit of a better place, the people he works hard to entertain get mad at him because he’s not posting the kind of content we want him to. “I’m a constant disappointment” is something he would say during old liveshows, and rewatching those moments always made my heart ache for younger Dan. watching him say it again just made me feel horrible. I can’t help thinking that if he didn’t have to worry about making “quality content” then he would be in a much better place mentally. please don’t be rude to Dan because even if you think he won’t read it, there’s still the possibility that he will and that it’ll take a toll on his self esteem and overall mental well being. we have to remember that he does all he can for us, and we should be grateful instead of yelling at him❤️ (I’d really prefer not to receive any discourse about this, as I’m not going to argue with an anon who thinks it’s okay to be rude to someone who’s still working on feeling good about themselves)

now that I’ve driven home and had a few minutes to cool off and collect my thoughts, I feel I should explain myself to the people who have been following me and know who i am so I don’t damage my relationship or reputation more than I probably already have.

there was a post that an autistic person I follow made, where he vented about bigotry against autistic people, and ended with a passive aggressive “…janice”. there was another post that a nonbinary person I follow made where they vented about bigotry against gender nonconforming people, and ended with a passive aggressive “…denise”. I’m not 100% sure which was which but I DEFINITELY remember the posts, as well as the profile pictures of the people who posted them. I don’t remember the urls though, and even if I did remember them I wouldn’t list them in case the people who are now harassing and spamming me in my inbox and activity feeds decided to also hop on their [proverbial] dicks as well as mine because they apparently culturally appropriated those post templates, of ending extended rants about various bigots and ending them with names befitting of middle aged suburban soccermoms, karen.

now, when listing people of this demographic, I used to include white among those adjectives. however, there are black middle aged suburban soccermoms, hispanic middle aged suburban soccermoms, and asian middle aged suburban soccermoms, and pretty much people of every race who have the potential to be this type of person the practice strawmans. obviously not every single middle aged suburban parent of children who participate heavily in after school activities is going to be the type of person to scream at retail workers or starbucks baristas or people who cut off their minivans when they’re driving 15 under the speed limit in the left lane. not every single middle aged suburban person is an undeducated bible thumping bigot with their head shoved up their ass. not every one of them is a problematic piece of shit that stands by the #alllivesmatter crew or trump or whatever the republicans are rallying around this week. not even all of the white ones, and there are some people who fit the trope who are not white. I’ve dealt with many of them during my days at target, but I always stood by including white. until recently.

when I learned it made black people uncomfortable when white people made white jokes, I was of course initially hesitant. “that’s fucking stupid!” I though. “I’m not assuaging white guilt by doing this, I’m just finding it in me to laugh at myself”. and then I read a bit more about the subject and figured it isn’t worth the potential heartache if I fought it because in all honesty it kind of makes sense. my mom’s boyfriend’s son is black (and hispanic), and I had once made a white girl joke to my sister in front of him and mom told me later that both he and her boyfriend were uncomfortable with me saying that. after seeing the post that talked about it, and my… slight breakdown where I may have dramatically overreacted… I decided to try and stop with the white people jokes because I want to unlearn all of the racist shit that my dad, stepmom, aunts, uncles, grandparents, former friends, former acquaintances, and society in general that I possibly could, because racism as a concept digs into my skin and fucks me up.

it used to make me absolutely seethe with rage, and I still get a little steamed by it. in fact I once got in a LOT of trouble with my high school sociology student teacher because I got really shitty with her when she- an anthropology student no less- kept calling one kid in our class by his initial because apparently kudsai is just Too Hard™ to pronounce. one day, an off day where I forgot to take my medicine, she called him that and I yelled at her “he has a name, so use it”. granted I didn’t like the kid. I thought he was annoying; loud, obnoxious, constantly making sex jokes while we were studying freud (and even the fucking holocaust), in the choir and the football team… basically like any other cishet teenage boy. but being annoying is no excuse for a teacher to not take five fucking seconds of her day to learn how to say his name right just because it wasn’t franklin or gregory, two of the other black kids who I went to school with. anyone following me as far back as when annie got remade with quvenzhane wallis as the titular role might have read my thoughts on the matter of pronouncing people’s names right. i’m not saying this to pat myself on the back for not being racist, because WOW was I a rough mess of things back then, but I was never like my dad’s side of the family about race. back when michael brown’s death and ferguson were still talked about, I found myself agreeing with rush limbaugh about some of the things he said, so clearly I haven’t been a perfect angel my whole life.

anyway, back to white people jokes making black people feel uncomfortable. I’ve been trying to make myself agree with that, which as anyone who has the syndrome formerly known as aspergers can probably attest to, is hard as shit to do. possible but hard. like, I’m even now still unlearning some acephobia, transphobia, queerphobia, islamophobia, and even though I know the occasional fleeting thoughts that I think are wrong and bad, they still happen very frequently. same goes with various forms of racism and xenophobia. my dad (and former stepdad’s) influences are probably so deep because of various issues with abandonment and abuse that I’m not gonna discuss here, and they’re both absolutely reeking with white supremacist microaggressions. so I’m definitely trying my hardest.

part of that is why I reacted so negatively when people misinterpreted what I said, put words in my mouth, and straight up told me to kill myself in all of these messages that are still flooding in. another part is because I truly do stand by the things that I meant to say, rather than the things that it appears I’ve said. I really do think that it’s unreasonable to say that it’s racist for people who aren’t black to make posts where we vent about various injustices we face from people who are misinformed and ignorant and straight up smarmy condescending assholes and then end it with a passive aggressive name of some baby boomer fuckwit, peggy. because these baby boomer fuckwits come in many colors (black people are still capable of being racist [against hispanic/asian/etc people, not whites, I need to make that abundantly clear], classist, misogynist, queerphobic, ableist, otherwise bigoted prejudiced assholes), and these names that are heralded as “typically white”, like henry or franklin or gregory or harold or penelope or alice or etc, are not exclusively white names. I’ve seen or met black people with names like this and while it’s definitely not the majority (not even close), and it’s definitely partially due to cultural erasure perpetuated by gentrification, it still exists. so it doesn’t make sense to me why the person who wrote the post that started me on this whole sequence of posts about this topic insisted that it was a ‘white people names’ thing. especially when white people names are more like khaeylieghhe or miakkaylia or annedeeye or some other ridiculous bastardisation of english language in order to make your child feel special and unique and end up growing to be a cookie cutter member of the conservative party that tries to take down affirmative action because they feel like it’s reverse discriminatory or some shit. if it was something like that, making fun of those names that are actually like making jokes at the expense of white people [I think I should apologize in advance because technically this counts as a white people joke even if it’s just an example] would make perfect sense. however I have not only seen posts in this template of ending with baby boomer names being used as tools to express their distaste in queerphobia, ableism, classism, xenophobia, and intolerance of other sorts, but I’ve made them before, and it has had not a god damn bit of racial connotation to it at all unless it’s been specifically a black millennial on tumblr venting specifically about a white people-ism, and to make a post that shits on everybody who uses this template to cope if they’re not black, and causes those kids who use it to cope to ask why not, and then get immediately shit on by assholes who treat them just like people are treating me, who tell them that it doesn’t matter if they’re neurodivergent or gay or trans or whatever because they’re being Big Bad Evil Racists™ by ending their rant posts with names like becky, allison.

I don’t care if you’re black. if you treat queer or disabled kids like shit and call them racist when they’re not being racist, no matter what color your skin is, you’re an asshole. and to act like fucking salem massachusetts when confronted with legitimate criticism of your ill-informed unbridled assault of an angry mama bear to queer and disabled kids, is just DISGUSTING. WEAK. and PATHETIC. and only serves to strengthen my points.

so you know what, go ahead. keep sending me your hate anons. keep sending me the smarmy condescension. I can take it. just stop being fucking assholes to my family. your race isn’t something I have any authority over but I won’t let you use it as a weapon to beat people over the head with just because you get high off of the power you get from the veil of anonymity. false accusations of being a tier 6 skinhead is more palatable than telling us to kill ourselves.

Blushy boy - Tyler Seguin

Requested by anon: Would you please write an story where Tyler Seguin asks Cracknell to fix him up with one of his wife’s best friends.His wife hesitantly agrees but threatens to withhold sex for a long time from Adam if Tyler treats her friend like one of his puck f*cks or breaks her heart.Tyler’s nervous on the double date because he didn’t want to screw it up/Adam threatened him.He knows his teammates will tease him for making a fool of himself and not being his normal suave self, but the girl found it charming

A/N: First of all, I’m sorry it took sooooo long. I have been so busy and having so many headaches that I didn’t even feel like writing a line. Your prompt was super cute, so I hope I did it justice.

Word count: 1434

Warnings: Mild swearing, nothing too bad.

Master list

Originally posted by flyersphiladelphia

Adam and Tyler keep skating around the rink, waiting for the others to join them for practice. They were the first players on the ice after Antti and Kari, who somehow manage to always be the first ones.

“I can’t believe you cut me off that Instagram picture.” Tyler jokes.  He still can’t believe that there had been so much fuzz about his comment on Adam’s post.

“I’m sorry, bro. The baby hasn’t been born yet and she already has me wrapped around her little finger.” Adam says, referring to his wife answer to Tyler’s comment.

“I can only imagine.” Tyler just says, carrying a puck around on his stick.

“You’ll find the one, Seguin.” Adam assures Tyler and he just nods.

Tyler is not in a hurry to find anyone, to be honest. He is still young and enjoys having fun with different women. He is honest about it with them though, he always tells them that he is not looking for something serious and treats them with respect.

“Someday.” Tyler agrees and skates away from Adam, shooting the puck to the net on the other of the rink.

Practice is hard today, and also open to the public. Tyler enjoys it. He thrives on the feeling of being observed by people who admire him. He does more tricks and tries to do fancy plays for the audience, earning some chirping from the guys.

“You are such a show off.” Jamie punches his shoulder strong enough to make him lose his balance for a moment.

“Says the guy that says ‘thank you, thank you’ and waves when they applaud at him.” Tyler answers back sassily.

Jamie laughs, but doesn’t say anything else, skating towards the bench. Most of the guys have left the ice already but Tyler, Adam and Devin, who are still throwing pucks to the fans. Tyler is trying to give his stick to a little guy when he sees Teresa and another girl sitting on the bleachers.

“Hey Cracker Barrel!” Tyler yells and Adam gives him a dirty look, “wifey is here.”

“Oh fuck!” Adam joins Tyler on the ice and waves at the women, “I forgot that (y/n) was coming today.”

“Who is (y/n)?” Tyler looks at the girl sitting besides Teresa.

She is breathtaking, that’s the first thing that comes into Tyler’s mind. She is a natural beauty, no makeup needed at all. Her hair quite messy and her cheeks are flushed because of the cold.

“She is Teresa’s best friend from back home.” Adam says, turning around and skating out of the rink.

“You never told me that Teresa has hot friends.” Tyler says accusatorily.

“She is too good for you, Seguin.” Adam chuckles.

“Wow, now I’m hurt.” Tyler sounds like he has actually taken a bad hit.

“You’ll survive.”

“Adam, for real, I want to meet her.” Tyler is dead serious now. (y/n) looks like she is nothing like the girls he usually goes out with. She seems mature and put together, but fun to be around. She is incredibly beautiful but yet natural.

Adam thinks about it for a second before answering. He knows that (y/n) will be good for Tyler, but he also knows that Tyler might be bad for her. Adam loves Tyler like a brother, but he doesn’t always agree with his ways with women.

“I’ll ask Teresa.” He finally agrees.

“That’s all I ask for.” Tyler seems pleased.


 

“Definitely not.” Teresa’s voice is firm, “I won’t let Seguin destroy (y/n)’s heart.”

“Baby, please.” Adam half begs, “Tyler needs a mature woman in his life.”

They are lying in bed after a long day of walking and driving around Dallas to show (y/n) everything. Teresa was close to her due date and Adam wasn’t comfortable with leaving her while on a trip so he had convinced (y/n) to come stay with his wife during his road trip.

“Why does it have to be (y/n)?” She is still unsure about the whole thing, “I love Tyler and I love having him around, but I know how he is with women and I don’t want that for my friend.”

“You have seen him around the people he loves, doll. He is the most caring person I have ever met.” Adam says and Teresa nods, agreeing with what his husband is saying. She has always thought that Tyler was adorable around kids and his dogs and just people he cares about. “He just needs to find someone to treat as a Princess…”

“ Alright.”

“… to spoil rotten, someone to come home to… wait what?”

“I said alright, let’s get them together.” Teresa says, “but if he does something to hurt her there will be consequences.”


 

Tyler is in the pool with Marshall and Cash when he hears his phone going off. He leaves his dog swimming around the pool while he runs to answer his cell phone.

“Hello?” He doesn’t even look at the name on the screen before answering.

“Hey, Sequin Dress.” Adam says from the other side of the line.

“What’s up, Cracken Barrel?” Tyler asks, using Adam’s nickname.

“Remember (y/n)?” Adam wonders.

“Believe me, someone like that it’s hard to forget.” Tyler confesses, feeling quite dumb.

“Teresa agreed to let you meet her.” Tyler’s heart skips a beat while listening to Adam’s words, “But…”

“There is always a but…” Tyler cuts him off and Adam huffs.

“Tyler, listen to me, she is NOT one of your booty calls.” Adam emphasizes the word ‘not’, “if you meet her and you don’t feel like actually getting to know her and it’s only sexual attraction then you will let her go.”

“What does that even mean?” Tyler’s voice is confused and Adam sighs.

“What I want to say is that if you only want to spend a night with her and then never call her again, or call her again and make her have feelings for you and then break her heart I will personally beat the shit outta you.” Adam says seriously and he can hear Tyler’s breathing while the other man thinks.

“I’ll be nothing but respectful to her.” Tyler promises and Adam nods for himself, pleased with the answer that has been given to him.

“Alright, dinner tonight at Pappas Bros. 7pm sharp.” Adam informs.

“I will be there. Should I call and make a reservation?”

“That’d be smart.” Adam agrees and waits a second before adding, “you make ten times more money than I do, so you are paying.”


 

The food and company are amazing, Tyler thinks while taking a sip of wine. (y/n) and he have hit if off right away and he is enjoying himself.

“Do you like the wine?” He asks (y/n) shyly, and it almost surprises him how nervous he is about her answer.

Teresa and Adam are drinking water, Teresa because she is pregnant and Adam because of solidarity with his wife, so Tyler had chosen a bottle of wine just for (y/n) and him.

“It’s so good, you have a good taste.” (y/n) compliments him and his cheeks heat up.

Teresa and Adam are having the time of their life seeing Tyler get all nervous around a woman. He is normally extremely confident and acts cockily, and most women fall for his bad boy attitude; but (y/n) is finding adorable how Tyler stutters and blushes every time their eyes meet or she addresses him.

“Thank you.” Tyler says, looking down at his plate.

“Just the truth.” (y/n) smiles at him and he gets lost in that smile.

Tyler pays before Adam can tell him that he had been indeed joking and Tyler shrugs when his teammate tries to pay him back. They walk outside, Tyler helping (y/n) go down the few stairs that the restaurant has.

“You can invite me to coffee tomorrow.” Tyler tells him. “Actually, you can invite all of us.”

“Oh yes. I’ve been craving carrot cake from the coffee shop next to the Dr. Pepper arena for weeks now.” Teresa agrees with Tyler and (y/n) laughs.

“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow, bro.” Adam hugs Tyler, hitting his back rather hard. “I’m telling everyone what a blushy boy you have been.”

“Shut up.” Tyler answers him, hitting Adam’s back just as hard.

Tyler side hugs Teresa and she kisses his cheek before he moves towards (y/n) and wraps his arms around her waist, her own arms around his neck.

“Thanks for dinner.” She whispers on his ear, “I’ve had a lot of fun.”

“It was my pleasure.” And Tyler is sure that he is blushing once again.

Youtuber Confessions - Conor Maynard

Masterlist

-

“So clearly as you can see, i’m back” I started well looking into my camera. “And there’s this big empty space in between me.” I said motioning my arms around the couch. “Meaning I have to have some friends right? Well no. Just idiots.” I laughed as they all started to come in.

“So basically we have or I have Joe, Y/f/n, Conor, and last but not least my brother Mikey!” I said pointing everyone out. “And today I’m being a little little bit naughty and we are doing a little challenge I came up with Youtuber Confessions unless its already been made up but hey until I get told so I came up with it!” I said. “Jeez getting worked up already and we haven’t even started.” Conor laughed. “Oh shut it you.” I said pushing his head away.

“So as I was saying,” I began rolling my eyes, “everyone as about two questions for everyone and the person must answer all without lying and if lying they must take on a forfeit, so let’s begin!” I said. “I need something cool for a transaction.” I mumbled. Next thing I need Conor flew over my lap. “Boom.” He said and then posed like a Playboy model would. “Bloody hell Conor!” I shouted.

-

I slumped down in my seat as I knew Mikey would get personal. “Do you like Conor?” He asked. I breathed in and thought.

I didn’t like him, I love him.

“No.” I replied. Mikey gave me a look but went for his second question. “Do you love him. “Y-yes.” I mumbled. “Knew it!” Mikey yelled. “Shut up you big goof and leave! Bring the next person in.” I said. He smirked at me and left.

“Oh bloody hell.” I said as I saw Conor walking in with a smirk on his face. “Heyyyy best friend what’s up girllll!” Conor beamed like a girl in his girly voice. I kept a straight face until finally laughing. “So your question?” I asked. “Hmmm let me think.” He said making a thinking pose. “If you had to sleep with anyone who is here who would it be? And be sleep I mean just sleeping not sex.” He asked.

“You.” I replied because we’ve done it before. “Okay okay, did you actually send Liz to the hospital.” Luke asked bringing up Jack’s ex. I gulped and leaned down in my seat some more. “Yes.” I answered. Conor eyes went wide and then he started to laugh. “I should of fucking asked if you like Jack god damn it.” He said getting up. “Bye bestie!” Conor sung as he left the room.

Conor’s Point Of View

I’m not going to lie. I wanted to ask Y/n if she liked him but I couldn’t. I couldn’t being myself to hear her say no. She’s been my best friend for so long, and I’ve seen her get hurt by so many guys. I’ve only realized that the only guy perfect for my little potato Y/n is me.

“So you like my sister?” Mikey asked staring at me. I thought about it. I may of liked her. But truly I don’t anymore.

I love Y/n.

“No.” I replied. “Do you love her?” Mikey then asked. “Yes.” I replied. Mikey threw his hands in the air. “Bloody hell!” Mikey yelled and then got up. He moved towards the door but paused and looked at me “Treat her right.” He said just as he was about to leave. I nodded and he did leave. I sighed to myself and rubbed my forward as she walked in.

My eyes wondered just like they did every time I saw her. Just how her clothes fired perfectly to her body and curves. I just wanted to hug her and never let go. “You going to answer or just keep staring “ She laughed. God I love her laugh. Her smile. Just everything. “Hello Earth to Conor.” She laughed again waving her hand in my face.

“Sorry, just got distracted by a thought. What was your question?” I asked. She giggled and shook her head. “I asked what your deepest darkest secret was.” She laughed. I gave her the are you for real look and she laughed even more. “I’m kidding I asked if you liked anyone at the moment.” She asked.

“Yes and no.” I replied. The yes meaning towards Y/n but the no cause I love her. But then again you already got that. She raised an eyebrow but then shook her head and fixes her beautiful y/c hair placing a piece behind her ear.

“Hmmm let’s see Conor. How many girls have you fucked this month?” She then asked. “None.” I replied. Mostly because I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind and had to do shit my own. She looked at me confused. “You Conor Maynard. A Maynard hasn’t fucked one person this month wow. If I asked Back that he’ll say an actually number.” She laughed.

I gave her an awkward smile and she left.

-

Y/n’s Point Of View

“That’s the end of the video. I hope you enjoyed our secrets that you now know. And don’t forget to leave a like if you enjoyed the video and hey if you’re not subscribed why not go subscribed and hit the bell so you can get notified when I post. Anyways, I’ll see you guys next week!” I beamed well doing my outro. “And why not also just hit these people Up and subscribe they need it.” I laughed and with that I ended the video.

I got up from the couch and grabbed my camera off the tripod and looked at everyone. “You guys staying?” I asked. “Well Joe, Mikey and I were going to go to diner if you and Conor wanna join?” Y/f/n said. I shook my head. “Nah I need to get this video out today. So I’ll stay behind. I don’t know about Conor though.” I said with a smile. She nodded and then looked at Conor.

“I would but I don’t want Y/n to stress out too much and freak out. So I’m going to stay here.” Conor said. Mikey smirked as did Y/f/n and Joe nodded. “Alright mate we’ll see you tomorrow.” Joe said standing up. They nodded and I gave Y/f/n a hug and went into my bedroom where Conor followed. I pulled out the SD card and pulled it into my Mac and started the pull the footage into my editing software.

“So, how you doing?” Conor asked. I chuckled and spinned around to look at her. “How you doing? So Conor like.” I laughed. “Well what do you want me to say!” He asked laughing. “I don’t know, or care watch some movie or something I’ll be done in an hour or less.” I explained.

Well halfway through editing something caught my eye. “Do you like my sister?” Mikey asked Conor. Conor shook his head. “No.” He answered. My heart flew out of my chest as Mikey spoke up again. “Do you love her?” He asked. “Yes.” Conor replied. And that’s when my heart started up again and beated fast. A blush fell onto my cheeks as I turned to look at Conor on my bed with his eyes fixed on his phone with a movie playing on the TV in front of him.

I got up from my chair and went to my bed and sat on it. Conor looked up at me and smiled turning off his phone. “You done?” He asked with a smiled. I shook my head. “No I just had a question.” I said. Conor fixed the way he was sitting and moved closer to the head bored and ran his hand through his hair a couple times. Which I knew meant he was nervous.

“About?” He asked with a chuckle. “Do you love me?” I asked with a stutter. Damn it. Conor let out a sigh and moved towards me and grabbed my hands in his. “I do,” he breathed out; “so goddamn much.” He answered not able to look in my eyes.

“Look in my eyes Conor.” I said shyly. He moves his head up and looked into my e/c eyes. “Do you love me?” I asked once again. “Yes, to Pluto and back times infinity.” He answered. I smiled from ear to ear just hearing the words.

“Fuck the video.” I said before attacking his lips to something that needed way more than just a kiss. I pulled away and smiled. “I love you too.” I said and reconnected out lips.

Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 18x19

For once, lol.

ALSO THERE’S A BARISI CORNER, AFTER 84 YEARS :D

Needless to say, LONG POST.

Overall Thoughts

I liked it? What?

It felt like an episode from a previous season. I checked, and it appears two of the “old” writers wrote it. One of whom also wrote Know It All and Great Expectations, namely some of the best least terrible (and more true to character) episodes of the season. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. When a writer knows the characters well, it shows.

Let me get one negative thought out of the way: just when I was enjoying the episode, what do you know, the rapist turned out to be sympathetic again! Good ol’ Season 18. I have to say, though, that in this particular instance, in this specific episode, this was probably done for the sake of the totally predictable twist. The message wasn’t “oh but he’s a nice guy,” it was “he’s a victim too,” and that’s a pretty classic SVU trope.

Still, I didn’t appreciate how the episode tried to equate the experience of the victim and the rapist, nor the fact the actual rape was practically glossed over (via that favorable-ish plea deal) in order to target the “real” bad guy. Again, SVU has done that before, many times, and the reverend sure was a bad guy, but I did not like that ending. The rapist was almost excused for his actions, and the reverend willingly sacrificed himself to keep all that money and continue to help the needy. Like, they are the criminals in this story. No need to make them so noble. At least they could have had the reverend weeping for his cash.

I did, however, like that the girl seemed okay in the end, she had accepted both what happened to her and who she was, and she seemed more free. Also, she didn’t totally renounce her faith, which I think was a nice touch.

Barba Thoughts

For once, the show managed to find the most interesting (legally) speaking aspect of a case, and stick with it. It was smart to use the first amendment to defend rape as an expression of religious beliefs. It was an (extreme but) interesting legal argument, even if the writing was a little bit murky on that. As mentioned, rape condoned by a religion is still rape by secular laws, but the real issue is consent. If the victim, even in retrospect (due to manipulation, in this case) were to say, “I consented,” that would be the end of this case. Fortunately, Liv was there to convince the victim to testify, as is her wont :D

But back to the law, and back to Barba. Barba cited actual cases! Multiple times! My word! And there was an entire scene of him and the defense attorney in the judge’s chambers, presenting intricate legal arguments! Like, there was an actual discussion of the law! What? I was pinching myself the entire time.

AND THEN WE SAW THE OPENING ARGUMENTS??? for like one minute but still, when was the last time that happened? AND THEN BARBA CROSS-EXAMINED THAT REVEREND AND GOT ALL LOUD AND RIGHTEOUS? AND THEN HE ACTUALLY CROSS-EXAMINED THE PERP LIKE A BADASS? WHAT? WHAT SHOW WAS I WATCHING?

Okay I’m sorry for all the capslocking but Barba was actualLY DOING HIS JOB?????!!!!!1

Speaking of spectacular, let’s get to Sonny :D

Sonny and Continuity

The show remembered Sonny is Catholic, and wanted to become a priest, and grew up in the Church. I appreciated that reference to his teen years, when he seemingly idolized the priests in his life. That’s consistent with what we learned in Unholiest Alliance (which, according to imdb, was written by the same writer who wrote this episode, so that would explain it).

But it’s also consistent with Sonny’s (prior) characterization. It’s one thing to say “my priest saved my life” (as Sonny said in the somewhat similar Duggars episode, last season), but to say “if a priest told me to jump, I’d only ask ‘how high?’” is very different.

We know Sonny has a tendency to get attached to the authority figures in his life (Liv, Barba), and we know he has a desire to impress them, to earn their approval. If you take that quality of an adult Sonny, and try to apply it to a teenage Sonny, with the added element of faith and God? Yeah, I can imagine how badly a younger Sonny would want to get God’s approval. That was an almost throwaway reference, but it really told us a lot about Sonny.

As did that final interrogation, with the reverend. Sonny knows how to hit them where it hurts, and he really handled that masterfully. But one detail I’d like to focus on was the way he casually accepted the fact that guy’s church had done some “good things.” It reminded me of his treatment of Rudnik. Sonny is able to perceive and acknowledge goodness, if and when it exists, even in the darkest of people. That’s classic Sonny.

Sonny and Religion

I also appreciated the confirmation that, while Sonny is faithful, he is not blind to the faults of the Church. Or to the misinterpretations of God’s will. Regrettably, there was a deleted scene which went into Sonny’s beliefs in depth (here), but we didn’t get to see it. Still, the script alone is enough to confirm everything I’ve always suspected about him and his faith.

“I don’t pretend to understand what God wants for me. But my take has always been, “Do unto others.” And I wouldn’t want anybody telling me who I could or couldn’t love.”

That’s the perfect encapsulation of Sonny’s attitude. No judgment, no presumptions, but also a healthy reverence for God’s will and the mystery it truly is, for those who are faithful. ‘Do unto others’ is truly Sonny Carisi in a nutshell. It’s both empathetic (because Sonny can easily put himself in someone else’s place) and open-minded (because Sonny believes everyone should get to choose for themselves).

And the reference to love, that’s important as well. A lot of people who grew up in a more strict religious setting can’t help internalizing some of the more conservative teachings. Even if they disagree as they get older, it can be hard to shake the beliefs they grew up with. Sonny seems to have succeeded in doing that. His take is defiant, and confident, and meaningful.

“Don’t tell me who I can love.” End of story. I truly wish we had gotten to see Sonny saying that, because I think it’s important to see a young macho (as of late) white guy expressing such kind-hearted and progressive views, but at least we did see him saying this:

They’re kids. With normal sexual desires. But you made them feel they had the devil inside them.”

That needed to be said, and I’m happy Sonny was the one to say it.

The Barisi Corner

OH, HOW I’VE MISSED YOU, BARISI CORNER :’)

Perfection.

The Barisi Corner, Part 1

(yes there are 2 parts, one for each scene. don’t judge me, this was a long time coming)

I loved the first moment, at the precinct. The entire squad, plus Barba, were discussing the absurdity of using the first amendment as a justification for rape. Sonny had some thoughts on the subject, almost as a devil’s advocate (no pun intended), and he tried to express them, but of course Barba cut him off, because that entire theory is crazy. There’s no such thing as blanket consent. Even if the girl agreed in abstract that rape can be a “cure,” she would need to consent in the moment, and that consent could be withdrawn at all times, as Barba pointed out.

But.

Sonny kept on. Respectfully. Without yelling or getting mad. Sonny agreed with Barba, of course, but that wasn’t the point he was trying to make. That’s why he didn’t let Barba’s interruption stop him. He was, again, respectful, all “of course, but I’m just saying, hear me out,” etc., but he stuck to his guns. He showed the appropriate degree of deference to an experienced ADA like Barba, but he kept talking.

And Barba kept listening.

Sonny’s point was that the case was tricky, and the victim was confused and easily manipulated, so a good defense attorney (btw I love this defense attorney, I had missed him!) would “lather that up” into consent. What a great phrase, and what a Sonny Carisi phrase, frankly. Punctuated by the classic Sonny Carisi gesturing :D

Barba’s reaction to Sonny’s totally accurate (and prophetic) remark?

“…I agree.”

Simple as that. No snark, no sass. Barba was smizing the entire time, of course, but this was about work.

I mean, the fact they even spoke to each other was progress, but the fact they had a cordial conversation about the legal aspects of the case, and they came to an agreement? WE ARE BLESSED :’)

I always love it when the show remembers Sonny is a lawyer, and he can actually argue the specifics of a case (here, the strategy of the defense) with Barba, in a way the other cops can’t. That hadn’t happened in a long time. When Liv suggests something (like playing that tape, last week), it’s more intuitive and less strategic. More “this is the right thing to do,” and less “this is the smartest move for us right now.” Sonny thinks like a lawyer. Like Barba. And Barba knows and appreciates that.

This season has done away with any and all personal plots and characterization and interpersonal dynamics, but this one scene allowed me to fanwank it as progress. To pretend we didn’t just watch a boring scene about the law. Instead, we witnessed Sonny and Barba being totally professional, and in sync, and working together as equals. Analyzing a case, listening to each other’s points, and coming to an easy agreement. We basically witnessed an ideal working relationship :’)

The Barisi Corner, Part 2

I also loved how Sonny sat in on that meeting with Barba and Liv, when they spoke to the rapist and his attorney. There was no reason for Sonny (or Liv, lol) to even be there, technically, but that was less of a meeting and more of an interrogation, so Barba relied on his two most trusted police officers :D

I think Sonny was there because he could relate to the guy, having been raised in the faith. Barba (again in Unholiest Alliance, by the same writer) was clearly aware Sonny is a “good Catholic,” so I think he may have suggested it. Or Liv could have. Cozying up to a perp is the old Sonny’s go-to move, and this case demonstrated that perfectly. Sonny was the only SVU cop able to display a genuine understanding of the boy’s faith, but also his blind adherence to the reverend’s commands. That’s why Sonny mentioned his own relationship with the priests in his youth.

Sonny was in that room for that explicit purpose. That’s why he was sitting there, all sprawled out and sexy, ready to get up and pounce. He practically took over the interrogation, with Liv and Barba chiming in here and there. I think all three of them (BARSONISI ALERT) agreed that would be their best play, and they possibly even practiced it. The best way to get the kid to crack. To understand that, just like Sonny said, it’s not right to quote the Bible to justify a crime. I loved Sonny’s confidence, in that scene.

Speaking of confidence and Barisi, I LOVED it when Sonny got all sassy, saying, “let’s hit this guy where it hurts the most,” and Barba was smiling like “that’s mah boyfriend, I’ve taught him well!” I just loved that. We hadn’t gotten a real, solid friendly look between them in so long. I’m glad Sonny got to deliver the cocky line, for once, and I’m even more glad we got to see Barba’s amused-slash-approving reaction. Sonny has gotten significantly more confident through the seasons, and it’s always great to see Barba acknowledging that with delight.

Stray Thoughts

lol at Barba being all “omg we blew it, we lost the jurors, we’re done,” even though their case was still pretty solid.

Double lol because last week Barba was all “d’oh, it’s hypnotism! Which is totally real! What a slam dunk! I’m totally winning this case!” :D

I see Fin is still a detective, glad we cleared that up. You know, because Liv introduced him as such. Even if he’s “practicing his Sergeant skills,” which, how rude were Sonny and Amanda, by the way? Crack a smile, you guys, Fin was making a joke! to remind us he is kind of a Sergeant but not really! I wish Peter and Kelli had given legit deadpan looks, though, to make it even funnier. As it was, the scene was kind of awkward. Except Ice, who was hilarious.

Also, hey, remember how Fin’s son is gay? lol me neither also, hey, remember fin is a grandfather? lol no one does

When the friend said, “YOU WERE RAPED,” Liv’s face was like, “excuse you, honey, I’m the only one who’s allowed to scream that in a victim’s face.”

The actor playing the rapist was very good! So creepy. Almost robotic, until he cracked in the end. Very nice performance, he really made the episode. All the actors were great, in fact.

Liv’s colorblock jacket? Flawless.

I’m going to need all the gifs of Sonny sitting behind Barba, all sprawled out, please and thank you :’)

Hockey Camp - Auston Matthews (Part 4)

Auston Matthews x Reader

Word Count: 1760

Warnings: Some swearing

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

A/N: Wow! First of all, I’d like to personally thank everyone who’s liked this story, I just started writing it one day at work while I was bored and decided the other afternoon to post it, and never thought I’d get a response, let alone a positive one - so thank you!

I honestly had so much fun writing this chapter, it made me nostalgic for hockey practices with my teammates when we used to fool around and try and get each other in trouble. (I miss playing so much).

Hope you enjoy!

PART FOUR

Practice gets off to a hectic start. Firstly, you can’t find your neck guard while getting dressed (it’s stuck to the inside of your jersey, which you didn’t notice until after you put it on and felt something weird touching your ribs). Because of this, you’re late getting on the ice, and miss your chance to warm up before the coach calls everybody over to explain the first drill. One of your favourite parts of practice is having a nice long warm up skate to stretch out and loosen your muscles from the day before.

You try not to let it frazzle you, but you can’t seem to focus properly. You keep losing the puck and making bad passes, and your entire body feels tight and uncomfortable. Steph notices, and skates over to you while you wait for your turn in a passing drill.

“Hey, everything alright?”

“Not really,” you confess. “My muscles are all super sore and I missed warm-up because I couldn’t find my neck guard in time.”

“Relax. Everyone has an off day. Plus, it’s only day two. They understand that we’re all still adjusting to how hard the camp is on our bodies.”

You nod, actually trying to take in what Steph is saying instead of denying it and having a negative attitude like you always do. “Thanks, Steph.”

The coach blows his whistle, and you grab a puck, racing around the circle. You take a wristshot, nailing the top left hand corner. It’s the first time you’ve scored all practice.

But there’s no time to celebrate - the drill isn’t over yet. You stop in front of the net, fighting for position with the defenseman and trying to block the goalie from seeing the puck. You manage to shift to just the right spot and create an effective screen, as you hear the puck fired by your defenseman hit the back of the net. Two for two.

You maintain your screen as your forward partner rounds the other circle and takes the shot. He snaps it quickly with his stick, sneaking it past the goalie’s outstretched pad and hitting the lower left corner of the net.

“Breakout, breakout!” The centre yells. He’s been waiting off to the side until the first part of the drill was over. He picks up another puck. You and the other winger switch lanes, and the centre sends the puck hurtling hard towards you.

But you’re ready.

You receive the pass with soft hands and look up to see a defender already on top of you. Normally, most people would panic, but you know you’re faster. You flick your head to the right, faking the defender out, and then chip the puck off the boards to the left, skating around her before picking up the puck.

“Middle!”

With a quick look, you make a saucer pass over the other defender’s stick to your centre. He receives it and dekes the goalie out, neatly tucking it in the top right corner. Four for four.

“Nice one!” the centre skates over to you and gives you a high-five. You’re surprised by how youthful he looks. He must be around six feet tall, but his gangly build and pre-pubescent face make him look like an adorable oversized puppy.

“Thank-you,” you say, smiling at him. “Nice shot you’ve got there.”

“Thanks!” he replies brightly, his positive energy contagious. “You’ve got some great passing skills. I’m Mitch, by the way.”

“Y/N.” You nod your head by way of greeting.

Mitch opens his mouth to say something else, but is cut off by the coach blowing the whistle. “Two laps, then take a break for water!”

Everyone abandons the drill and begins to skate hard around the perimeter of the rink. You finish your two laps, among the leaders of the pack, and cruise over to the bench to grab some water.

You’re about to pick up your bottle when somebody nudges you.

“Hello again!”

You turn and look up to see Mitch’s smiling face.

“Oh hey! We meet once more.” You pour some water into your mouth, and Mitch does the same.

“Practice is real tough today, huh?”

“Yeah,” you agree, nodding. “And it’s only day two. Next thing you know, they’ll be making us bag skate.”

Mitch’s eyes widen, horrified. “Don’t say that too loudly, or they’ll get ideas.”

You laugh.

“I thought I was fit before I came here. My, did I have a rude awakening yesterday. The only person I know that isn’t dying right now is him.” Mitch points to a tall guy with his back turned to you. “Total hotshot,” he says sarcastically, and proceeds to poke the blade of his stick into the guy’s armpit.

“What the-!” the guy yelps, turning around. “Mitch, what the fuck, dude?”

Mitch laughs and you take a closer look at the guy. Of course.

“Oh, hey Y/N,” Auston says, his eyes lighting up. He smiles at you and your heart jumps a little.

“You two have met?”

“Yeah,” you explain quickly. “We’re acquainted.” You immediately want to slap yourself. Who even says ‘we’re acquainted’? You sound like a grandmother.

The coach blows his whistle sharply. “Auston, Mitch, and Y/N. Since you are all obviously more concerned with chatting than listening like everybody else, perhaps you three would like to demonstrate the next drill?”

“Sure coach!” Mitch says enthusiastically. You and Auston exchange a look.

The coach frowns. “Get yourselves in positions,” he barks. “I don’t care who’s normally centre or left wing or whatever. Decide fast. I want you guys to break out of the zone quick, weave at least twice before you hit the red line. Then you can worry about stickhandling around the defender. This drill is all about passing, positioning, and teamwork.” He turns back to the group of players kneeling on the ice. “If only two out of three forwards touches the puck in this drill, you can forget about shooting. There is no excuse for not being able to make at least three passes before you get to the offensive zone. Got it?”

Everyone else nods.

“I need an answer.”

“Yes!” the group responds.

“Alright.” The coach blows his whistle loudly. “Y/N, Auston, Mitch. Take it away.”

Since you and Auston both shoot left-handed and Mitch shoots right, Mitch moves over to right wing, while you take your regular left wing position, and Auston gets centre.

Without any hesitation, Auston picks up a puck, loops around the net, and fires it over to Mitch, who’s already picked up a considerable amount of speed. Shit, they’re really fast.

You hustle over towards the centre of the ice, and Mitch does the same. You get so close to each other, for a split second you think you’re going to crash, but then Mitch side-steps an inch to the left and makes a drop pass. You pick it up with ease, and in no more than a second, you’re on the right wing, ready to pass it to Auston. You fire the puck low and flat across the ice as hard as you can, but Auston receives it so softly, he makes your pass look weaker than it is.

He and Mitch weave in and out with each other, appearing completely at ease. The way they’re so aware of each other’s position on the ice without having to look makes it obvious that they have played together for a while.

You end up with the puck as you cross the blue line. You consider taking a shot, but the goalie’s far out in his crease, making for an easy save.

Then you get an idea.

You pick up speed, pretending like you’re going in to shoot. The goalie backs into his crease correspondingly, covering less of the net. You wind up but then stop halfway, quickly using your backhand to drop pass it back to Auston, who you know is directly behind you. You barely have a second to jump away before Auston wires a slapshot into the right side of the net.

“Yeah baby!” Mitch whoops, bringing you and Auston in for a celebratory group hug. His long arms wrap around both your shoulders. “Great job team.”

You smile widely and Auston rolls his eyes.

“Mitch, please stop touching me. Your gloves stink and the smell is gonna make me puke.”

Mitch feigns obliviousness. “What, my gloves?” He shoves both his hands in Auston’s face. “They smell like roses!”

Auston smacks Mitch’s hands away, but Mitch immediately tries to shove them in his face again. The two begin play-fighting, and much to your amusement, Mitch manages to get Auston in a headlock, trapping the taller and stronger boy under his birdlike arms. Eventually they end up on the ground, laughing so hard they can’t move anymore.

You stare down at them, shaking your head. “You guys are idiots.”

Mitch scrambles to his feet, pushing his helmet back down on his head. A goofy grin is plastered across his face. “Why thank-you. I take pride in being an idiot.”

As Auston stands up, he reaches over and smacks Mitch on the back of the head. 

Mitch turns around to face him. “You wanna go again bro? You wanna fight? Huh? Come at me,” Mitch taunts Auston, throwing his gloves down to the ice. When Auston doesn’t respond, he shoves his chest. “You scared? Why’re you so scared of me, huh?”

“Mitchell Marner!”

You all turn your heads to look at the coach.

“Why are your gloves off? Stop fucking around and get back in line, or you’ll be doing laps after practice!” He glares at the three of you and mutters to himself before turning around.

“Yes sir!” Mitch grabs his gloves and salutes the coach’s back.

“Ooh, someone got in trouble,” Auston teases.

“You started it.”

“Your gloves started it, actually. If you washed them for once in your life, we wouldn’t have this problem.”

“But washing your equipment is bad luck!”

“Guys, c’mon,” you beg, laughing. “I don’t really feel like doing any more laps today.”

“Yeah,” Auston agrees. He elbows Mitch in the ribs.

“Ow.”

“Listen to the girl, she’s got a point.”

‘Listen to the girl, she’s got a point’” Mitch mocks Auston. “You’re just saying that because you li-”

Mitch is cut off as Auston clamps his glove over Mitch’s mouth, muffling his words.

“I swear to god Marner, if one more word comes out of that big mouth of yours I’ll-”

“Alright, that’s it!” the coach bellows. “You three - I want 10 laps, now! Everyone else is free to leave.”

You glare at the both of them. “Way to go guys.”

[Part 5]

You Can Tell Me Secrets (that I’ll probably repeat)

Trimberly Songfic based on Bittersweet by P!@TD

Excerpt: “Kimberly finally realizes that yeah, shoving a picture of a naked cheerleader into your gay best friend’s face probably was not the best course of action.”

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A Little Blood Never Hurt

Wow I posted two one shots in one day? I must be insane! So since I wrote a Valentine one shot for Fairy Tail I had to write one for Inuyasha. This is my very FIRST Inuyasha story I have ever written so I hope y’all like it! I’m dedicating this one shot to @dreamer-of-the-wandering-suns​ since she was the very first person to introduce me into the Inuyasha fandom family here so thank you Hallie. I hope you like it :) Happy Valentine’s Day!


Pairing: Inukag

Word Count: 1,881

Summary: Kagome and Inuyasha have been living together married for a few months in the feudal era when it happens to be that time of the month for Kagome.


With a final roar, the massive reptilian demon fell to the ground, turning into nothing more than a pile of ashes. The breeze picked up, scattering the gray dust across the earth where it would soon be forgotten. A white slip of paper with black characters scrawled across it was slapped onto the wooden door of the shrine.

“There is no need to fear my good people,” a monk adorned in purple robes assured the townsmen, his golden staff raised in the air. “The demon has successfully been exorcised and will no longer torment your village.” Cheers along with relieved sighs erupted from the weary farmers at the joyful news that their lives were saved.

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” a sharp tongue muttered under his breath loud, enough for the monk to hear.

“Of course, I could not have done it without you, Inuyasha,” Miroku laughed lightly, patting the silver haired man on the shoulder.

The praise seemed to satisfy the half demon who said no more on the matter as he sheathed his sword. “That demon was nothing. I wish it had put up a bit more of a fight.”

Miroku chuckled, his sandals slapping against the ground as the pair headed along the path home to their awaiting brides. “Maybe so, but at least we get to go home sooner than expected,” his eyes slide over to his friend at his side. “I’m sure Kagome will be very pleased.”

A light blush dusted Inuyasha’s cheeks at the mention of his wife. Even after all these months of being married her very name still spread warmth through his body. “Heh, why wouldn’t she be?” he tried to play it off casually, closing his eyes. The sun was out and it was a lovely day, perfect weather for demon slaying.

“I am sure Kagome has had her hands full with helping Sango take care of the children,” Miroku’s eyes seemed to shine brighter when he thought of his family.
Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his robe.

“Kagome likes helping you and Sango out. I know she’s just fine,” his eyes snapped back open suddenly, his golden gaze piercing down the road.

“What is it, Inuyasha?” the monk questioned, readying his staff in case there was any danger nearby.

The silver haired man sniffed, his eyes flashing with fear. “Kagome…” he breathed out, breaking into a run.

“Inuyasha! Wait up!” Miroku yelled, chasing after him. He was usually able to keep up with the half demon under normal circumstances but fear made his legs pump as fast as they could, leaving him behind to catch up.

“Kagome!” Inuyasha yelled desperately, his fears quelling slightly seeing that the village was still standing. Everything in fact seemed peaceful, but that didn’t sedate his worry. He could still smell Kagome’s blood, he would recognize that scent anywhere. “Kagome!” he called out again, checking Kiade’s hut to see if she was there but it was empty. “Kagome, where are you?!”

“Inuyasha?” a soft spoken voice came from behind him, forcing him to spin around on his heel.

“Sango,” Inuyasha, stepped up to the woman, seeing the baby strapped to her back but not the twins. “Where is Kagome?”

Sango blinked, adjusting her baby slightly. “Oh, she took the twins with her to collect some herbs.”

Not needing anything else, Inuyasha dashed off in the direction of the fields, following his wife’s scent. Soon enough he heard her voice along with children laughing. Maybe she had just gotten a small cut.

As if able to sense his presence, the young priestess in training turned, catching sight of him running over to them. “Inuyasha! You’re back!” she smiled that bright smile of hers but the look was quickly replaced with confusion as her husband began sniffing her.

“Inuyasha!” Kagome flushed, trying to move away from him. “What are you doing?”

“I smelled blood…your blood,” his eyes narrowed to the lower half of her body. “From there.”

“Oh, that’s just nothing,” the black haired girl laughed nervously, her eyes shifting over to the children currently making flower crowns for each other.

Inuyasha scowled but his eyes told another story. “That sure don’t smell like nothing. Mind explaining what’s going on?”

Kagome wished she could change the subject so that he would forget about it but from his looks he wasn’t going to, so with a sigh she tugged on his clothes, pulling him a safe distance away from the twins. “Every month a woman bleeds through her…err…lower regions. The only time it stops is during pregnancy,” she continued giving him the very basics but even that seemed to horrify him.

“Every month?” he gasped, his dark eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. After her nod of affirmation, his whole expression seemed to light up as something dawned upon him. “Over all these years I’ve noticed that women tend to get this smell about them, a mixture of blood and something else…I always thought it was a normal thing which I guess it is,” he grabbed her hand, running his thumb across the back of her hand. “But when I smelled your blood I didn’t even think. I was so worried about you, that something had happened.”

“Oh Inuyasha,” Kagome smiled up at him before wrapping her arms around him. Her head rested against his chest and she could hear his steady heartbeat. As much as she liked being able to defend herself, she would never get over how nice with Inuyasha protecting her.

“Kagome! Kagome!” Their tender moment was broken by Sango and Miroku’s little girls calling her name and tugging on her pants. “We’re hungry can we go back home now?”

A light giggle escaped the priestess’ pink lips, her arms unwinding themselves from around her husband but she kept her hand firmly in his. “Yes, we can go back to the village. You both helped me a lot,” she knelt down, lifting the woven basket off of the grass to bring the herbs back to Kiade’s. Wordlessly, Inuyasha used his free arm to take the basket from her to carry for her. Kagome accepted his help without protest and the couple led the children back to the village.



Later that night after having dinner with Sanga and Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha prepared for bed in their house that Inuyasha had built for them. He hadn’t let anyone help him when he was building it, insisting he do it alone. Pride may get the better of him at times, but Kagome knew he refused the help because he wanted their home to be perfect and a gift for her.

Kagome changed into a pair of pink pajamas she had taken from the modern era. She would only wear her modern clothes to bed since she was now a part of this time, the feudal era. And of course she took some of her fuzzy blankets that Inuyasha seemed quite fond of.

“I’m tired,” she yawned, covering her mouth in a lady like manner. The bed was calling her name so she slid right in while Inuyasha rested his Tetsusaiga against the wall before joining her. Feeling a pinch in her lower stomach made the black haired girl dread what was to come.

“What’s wrong?” Inuyasha murmured, feeling her tense in his arms. His golden eyes pierces trough the darkness, glowing like a cats, or in his case a dogs.

Kagome shook her head, nuzzling her face into his chest further. “Nothing,” she reassured him, closing her eyes. The dog demon stared at her a moment longer, in the end not bothering to question her further.

“Good night, Kagome,” he skied the top of her head, hugging her closer to his chest.

“Good night, Inuyasha…”



“Inuyasha! Inuyasha!” a high pitched voice yelled, causing the named man to turn around in annoyance. He was just leaving to go help Miroku with another demon attack.

“What is it now, Shippo?” he asked, looking down at the fox demon in annoyance.

“It’s Kagome!” the little boy shouted, grabbing his full attention. “There’s something wrong with her?”

“What’s wrong with her?” Inuyasha snapped, already heading back in the direction of the village with Miroku following close behind.

Shippo scampered after the two on his tiny legs, hopping up on Inuyasha’s shoulder. “I don’t know but she seems to be in pain. She told me not to tell you…”

The half demon was impressed that Shippo ignored Kagome’s wishes to come and tell him. Usually he listened to whatever the woman asked of him. It must be serious if he was willing to disobey her wishes.

“Kagome!” Inuyasha shouted, slamming the door open to their house so hard it almost came off of the hinges. When he saw his wife curled up in bed, her face scrunched up in pain, it sent him into a panic. “Kagome? What’s wrong? What hurt you? Was it a demon? Where is he I’ll kill him!”

“There’s a demon in my stomach all right,” the priestess moaned, clutching her middle tighter.

Inuyasha paled. The demon was inside of her? “Don’t worry, Kagome! I’ll figure out a way to get it out!” he raised his sword.

“Sit Boy!” she managed to scream, forcing him to fall onto the ground, twitching.

“Hey! What the hell was that for?” he yelled, annoyance flaring up at her.

Kagome sighed, not in the mood to deal with this. “There’s no demon and I’m not injured. My stomach hurts, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” Inuyasha hit Shippo on top of the head, the little fox crying out and scurrying over to Kagome to hide behind her.

“Wahh! Inuyasha why are you so mean to me?” he wailed, holding his head.

Inuyasha let out a growl. “You told me Kagome was hurt.”

“I thought she was!”

“Enough you two,” Kagome snapped, glaring at the both of them icily. “My stomach hurts and I’m tired so will you both stop?”

Both boys shivered at her cold look, nervously agreeing to behave. Now that Inuyasha was here, Shippo took his leave, wishing Kagome to feel better and leaving the couple alone.

“How come your stomach hurts?” the white haired man asked, sitting down beside her cross legged. “Did you eat something funny?”

“Remember the thing I told you about yesterday?” Once she saw him nod in response she continued. “It causes stomach pains sometimes.”

Inuyasha frowned, not liking that she had to go through this every month. It was worse than him having to turn human every new moon! The feeling of not having control over your own body was miserable. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

After thinking for a long moment, Kagome reached her arms out to him. “Hold me? Please?”

A smile crossed Inuyasha’s lips at her request. Silently he laid next to her, wrapping his arms around her. Using one clawed hand, he started massaging circles into her stomach making soft sighs of relief come from her. “Does this help?”

“Mhmm,” Kagome hummed, resting her eyes closed as he eased the pain. She was becoming tired so he kissed her forehead and told her to get some rest.

“Will you stay with me?”

Inuyasha stared down at her, running his fingers through her hair. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers. “Always.”

College Graduation - the Chocobros

Hey y’all! I have officially moved home and graduated from college over the last few days. I know some of you probably have/are about to as well, so I thought this might be a fun way to celebrate. I hope y’all like it! 

Side note: I’m currently without internet at my house, so I’ll be coming to my grandmother’s to update as soon as possible. I’ll be able to work on requests and post them as soon as I can, so send them in!

XXX

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Miserable Lester, Part zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Heeeeeyyyyy, Lia!

Lia! You goddamn millennial slouch! Stop dicking around on your phone and listen up! You’re supposed to be recapping the next chapter of Les Mis!

Aw, Lia, that’s a bunch of boring historico-political junk. You know I’m not interested in that stuff. I thought I’d just jokingly Not Really Recap It At All the way I did with the Waterloo section!

You know, it might be more interesting to you if you bothered reading a couple of Wikipedia articles to give you an actual context. And I suspect having a rudimentary understanding of the political crap involved is going to help you appreciate the next part of the story more. It’s not just prison, personal tragedies, and guiltllucinations anymore, babe! They have like an entire fucking failed revolution or whatever.

Screw you!

Dude, I’m saving you time and effort! It’s a hell of a lot easier to explain something in a funny way when you know at least a little bit about it.

…So you think I should, what, just…read, then Wikipedia this shit until I think I have a handle on what I just read and my eyes aren’t skating over half the text like it’s a roller rink, then try and give a quick rundown?

Pretty much.

Can I at least do it section by section? In small, manageable chunks, you know. Like, one post per Roman Numeral Entry Of VHugz Political Bloviating?

Sure. It’s your blog.

Okaaaaaaaaay.

Fiiiiiiiiine.

Great! Let’s get to it, shall we?

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