wow asking for critiques on my art

based on Honey Trap fics

its in bahasa indonesia..

story about Ren invite Gakushuu at some convention (?) and he see a girl look like and remind him with Karma!! (the girl wear loli goth dress)

Gakushuu ask the girl if he know Karma, the girl say no, idk~

Gakushuu desperate and saying; u cant fool me with ur strawberry smell <3~

(wow and lol idk xD, im not really know indonesia..)

and busted (?) when the girl (actually Karma) saying to Gakushuu; damn u centipede(?) 

(he say lipan jelek, lipan=centipede, what i know jelek its mean ugly or bad actually i know indonesia) its suit how bad personality Gakushuu in Karma eyes lol

and Gakushuu blackmail Karma about this crossdressing stuff (its for karushuu week) he should come to  Student Council room after school tomorrow if he want to keep his mouth shut, and he will tell Karma what he want to do to him~

(he want to punish Karma!!)

the end..

A WIP OF THIS PICTURE I R WORKING ON.

Its actually taking awhile because Im actually PUTTING LIGHTING ON IT! 

GASP!

yeah believe it or not Im trying to get BETTER by adding light source.

Although I have no fucking clue how to do Light source or shading source HAHA.

THATS WHY IM PRACTISING!

But if anyone has any Great tips on light source shading or any links to references I will just draw you something right nur.  

BUT YEAH COMMENTS CRITIQUES?