ARIES: “I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. ‘You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.’”
TAURUS: “'God alert!’ Blackjack yelled. "It’s the wine dude!
Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude’ will end up in a bottle of Merlot!
GEMINI: Why can’t you place a blessing like that on us?” I asked.
“It only works on wild animals.”
“So it would only affect Percy,” Annabeth reasoned.
“Hey!” I protested.
CANCER: You weren’t able to talk sense into him?“
Well, we kind of tried to kill each other in a duel to the death.”
I see. You tried the diplomatic approach.
LEO: “You seem to be clean,” Terminus decided. “Do you have anything to declare?”
“Yes,” Percy said. “I declare that this is stupid.
VIRGO: As for my brothers,” Zeus said, “we are thankful”-he cleared his throat like the words were hard to get out-“erm, thankful for the aid of Hades.”
LIBRA: He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you’re my best friend and I don’t want you to die!
SCORPIO: Wow,“ Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot.”
“He’s the sun god,” I said.
“That’s not what I meant.
"That’s us,” he said. “Those five nuts right there.”
“Which one is me?” I asked.
“The little deformed one,” Zoe suggested.
“Oh, shut up.”
CAPRICORN: What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades’ underwear?
AQUARIUS: Behold!“ Percy shouted. "The god’s chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!
PISCES: Dreams like a podcast,
Downloading truth in my ears.
They tell me cool stuff.”
“Apollo?” I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.
He put his finger to his lips. “I’m incognito. Call me Fred.”
“A god named Fred?
Imagine Apollo coming into CHB as the new kid and people don’t know he’s Apollo yet and then some of the Apollo campers going “Wow… he’s hot… nice NICE” And then they FIND OUT HE’S THEIR FUCKIGN FATHER