would you like your muffin buttered

buzz | 1.0 (m)

Originally posted by bwiyowo

 pairing: min yoongi x reader
• genre/warnings: smut, masturbation with a twist, non-penetrative sex toy usage 
• words: 4,851
→ summary: in which you’re unsure if you’ve ever received an orgasm and when you finally pluck up the courage to use the vibrator you bought that one day on a whim, Yoongi barges through the door…
• note. sometimes I should never be left alone with my thoughts…

» 1.0 | 2.0 | 3.0  ✓  
yoongi’s pov +

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Coffee Shop | 01 (Yoongi x Reader)

Barista!Yoongi x Reader - Fluff

Words - 1.9k

Pt.1 of ?

“Frozen mint hot chocolate for…Taehyung!” one of the three baristas shouts as he sets a frosty to-go cup at the end of the pick-up counter that is packed with coffee makers and blenders and flavored syrups galore.

A tall man in a long black trench coat steps out of line to eagerly reach for the beverage; a boxy smile forms on his handsome face as he hands his money to the woman at the register.

You follow him with a lazy gaze, trying to make the time pass faster by focusing on the way his long, slender fingers tear open two packets of sugar and dump them unceremoniously onto the top of his frozen hot chocolate. You raise an eyebrow from your spot at the end of the long line of grumpy students and business workers anxiously awaiting their daily dose of caffeine.

‘Did he really just put sugar in there?’ you wonder as the man swirls his drink with a stirrer.

You are still watching him with curiosity when he spins on his heel, drink raised to his lips, and begins to walk toward the exit. However, the man pauses when he catches your slightly judgmental gaze. His eyes meet yours and the two of you have a brief stare-down across the small coffee shop.

“Want a sip?” he asks after a moment, removing the straw from between his lips and offering it in your direction, his eyes innocently wide and genuine.

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RPDR Highschool!AU: CH 1

Main Pairing: Pearl x Violet

Side Pairings: Katya x Trixie, Sharon x Alaska, Max x Biblegirl666, Phi Phi x Sharon, Roy x Adore 

Rated M for Mean Girl References 

Chapter 1 (X) & Chapter 2 (X) & Chapter 3 (X) & Chapter 4 (X) & Chapter 5 (X)

Chapter 6 (X) & Chapter 7 (X) & Chapter 8 (X)

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College Tips

// sneak peek: “I heard my favorite customer was in today, so I came to bring her order.” Y/N blushed, smiling as Jihoon placed the sandwich on the table in front of her. He turned to Seungcheol, and his smile faded almost instantly, soon following a grim press of his lips as he carelessly placed his order on the table. “Is there anything else I can get you guys?” Jihoon asked, turning to look at Y/N as he completely ignored Seungcheol.

// seungcheol x reader x jihoon

// word count: 1559

  College was hard. It was hard, and everything was way more difficult and planned out than it really had to be, and, no matter how hard, Y/N tried, it seemed like she could never raise her head above the ever rising water to take a deep breath.

  But it was times like this when she got a break. Times like this when she could barely raise her nose above the suffocating ocean, and take in an intoxicating inhale of air. Because it was times like this when Y/N felt free. It was times like this when she wasn’t drowning.

  The air was cool with the spring weather, and the sun just poking slivers of light through white clouds. And she stood there, in the middle of the college campus, arms extended, and feeling absolutely free. Nobody turned to look at her as they walked past.

  College Tip #1: Nobody cares.

  Y/N smiled to herself, just breathing. She had just come out of a rather stressful class, and the guy next to her was some idiot who could barely introduce himself by the name of Soonyoung through giggling whispers. He’d stolen her notes countless times to doodle zoo animals on them, and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t concentrate with a four year old next to her.

  Y/N sighed. This was just exactly what she needed.

  “Enjoying yourself?” Y/N opened her eyes at the voice, and smiled when she saw just who she wanted standing only a few feet away. There was Seungcheol, a good guy she’d come to meet only a couple days into her sophomore year.

  College Tip #2: Find friends. Fast.

  “Yes, actually.” Y/N retorted, crossing her arms as Seungcheol stepped closer, hands deep in his pockets. He was a law major - something Y/N always found incredibly impressive. “Thank you very much.” She pipped in spite just to irk Seungcheol. He snorted, shrugging his shoulders.

  “You looked like one of the stoner dance majors.” Y/N feigned offense, taking her time to gather her things in her arms before smacking Seungcheol on the shoulder - something that had him complaining rather fakely.

  “Excuse you, but they have talent.” She defended. He nodded, already walking away, and Y/N just followed. It was customary for the both of them to go out for lunch or a drink around this time. It’d become a tradition since the first time Y/N had met Seungcheol, and though she was wary about going out with a boy younger than her (even though it was, undoubtedly, by one year), he’d actually turned out to be pretty kind.

  “Yeah, right.” Seungcheol replied sarcastically. Okay, so he was kind when he wasn’t teasing her. Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear which had Seungcheol weak at the knees. It was no secret he was head over heels for Y/N, and there had been plenty of times when he’d wanted to ask her out on an actual date.

  College Tip #3: Don’t wait until it’s too late.

  “Hey, do you think we can eat at the sandwich place Jihoon works at?” Y/N asked hopefully. “I haven’t seen him since last night, and I’m pretty worried. Jihoon usually visits me in the mornings, but he didn’t today.” She frowned, and Seungcheol rolled his eyes. It was also no secret that Lee Jihoon, basically the most successful student on campus, was also head over heels for Y/N. Seungcheol usually dismissed the idea of the two ever becoming a couple due to the fact that he was two years younger than Y/N, but it always worried him how much she would talk about him.

  “I mean… I guess?” Seungcheol mumbled, and Y/N grinned. She turned to him, and placed a quick peck on his cheek, leaving his face a blooming red.

  “Thanks, Cheol!”

  The sandwich shop was loud, and the call for next in line had to be repeated three times before Y/N and Seungcheol finally heard, and moved forward. They ordered, received a number, and moved to sit at a booth near the window.

   Y/N slid into the seat across from Seungcheol, and they’d barely exchanged brief descriptions of their days when someone had cleared their throat. Y/N looked up, and Jihoon was standing there, a black apron tied around his waist. He wore a white shirt that had the first couple buttons undone, sleeves rolled up. And there was a smile on his face.

  “I heard my favorite customer was in today, so I came to bring her order.” Y/N blushed, smiling as Jihoon placed the sandwich on the table in front of her. He turned to Seungcheol, and his smile faded almost instantly, soon following a grim press of his lips as he carelessly placed his order on the table. “Is there anything else I can get you guys?” Jihoon asked, turning to look at Y/N as he completely ignored Seungcheol.

  “You know, Y/N,” Seungcheol spoke up, mentally rolling his eyes at Jihoon’s actions. “You should really try the peanut butter pumpkin cookies here. Chan’s told me all about them.” She politely smiled, nodding at Jihoon.

  “Alright,” Y/N tried. “I guess I’ll have a bag of those.” Jihoon raised his eyebrow at her, turning to glare at Seungcheol if only for a split second before looking back to Y/N. Jihoon was only 19, but he certainly did not care how old Seungcheol was considering his actions - and if he did, he chose to ignore it.

  “Are you sure?” Jihoon asked, turning to Y/N. “Maybe you want something else… Like a muffin? We have this new banana muffin that you would love.” She hummed, thinking about the two options.

  College Tip #4: Make up your mind.

  “Y/N already decided, Lee.” Seungcheol spoke up, voice firm and scoffing, and she’d have to remember later to scold him for being so rude. “She wants peanut butter pumpkin cookies. Right, Y/N?” She opened her mouth to speak, and no sooner was she interrupted by Jihoon.

  “Y/N can always change her mind, Seungcheol. She’s a grown woman. She has the right to choose what she wants for herself.” Seungcheol shrugged, leaning back in his seat.

  “Maybe. But I’d say it’s pretty obvious that Y/N prefers the cookies over the muffin.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, snorting, and he crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Right, and you’d know that how, Choi? You don’t know what Y/N wants. For all you know, she might really be thinking about the banana muffin right now. She might hate peanut butter pumpkin cookies.” Y/N bit her bottom lip. She got the sudden feeling this wasn’t about cookies or muffins anymore.

  “You don’t know, Y/N.” Jihoon continued. “You’re not the one who constantly wakes up early every single day, and visits her dorm just to say good morning and give her something that reminded you of her. You’re not the one who picks flowers for her, and writes songs for her. You’re not the one who conducts orchestral performances for her.” Y/N smiled to herself. She remembered those special days. Jihoon had only done it three times, but as a major in conducting and as conductor of the school orchestra, he’d had the orchestra play just for her.

  “No, I’m not.” Seungcheol replied, and Y/N noticed the way his arms tensed. “But I’m the one who texts her every day just to keep her company. I’m the one who calls her when she gets home from anywhere just to make sure she’s okay. I’m the one who takes her out every afternoon, and has been doing it for the past two years. Have you been the one to do all that, Jihoon?”

  “I can be.” Jihoon’s voice was sharp, and his jaw set with anger. Y/N sighed, clasping her hands together in her lap as she stared at the table.

  “Y/N wants the peanut butter pumpkin cookies.” Seungcheol’s tone was low and firm, and he turned to look at her. “Right, Y/N? Tell him you know what you want.” Y/N looked up to meet Jihoon’s eyes, and they were sad - pleading. Never before had she seen Jihoon look at her like that, and her heart ached.

  “I…” She trailed off, stuttering - stumbling - for words. “I know what I want.” Y/N had spoken before she’d really given herself permission to, and she soon found herself regretting her words. Seungcheol smirked to himself, reaching over the table as he gently took Y/N’s hand in his. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles.

  “Great.” He murmured, staring at Jihoon. “Then, Y/N will have peanut butter pumpkin cookies.” And Jihoon just nodded, his head bowed as he stared at the floor. He said nothing as he walked away, and Y/N watched him go, observing his steps before he’d gotten lost in the crowd of busy college students. She bit her lip. Later, a different waiter would come to their table with the cookies, and when Y/N would ask where Jihoon was, he’d simply reply with, “He left. Didn’t look too good.”

  College Tip #5: You never get what you want.

Making Vegan Muffins with What You’ve Already Got

(As long as you’ve got the basics)

Flour: 2 cups.

Feel free to use whatever kind of flour you have around. White, Wheat, Spelt, Bleached, Unbleached. It will all work. Just keep in mind that heavier flours will produce heavier muffins. 

Rising Agent: Baking Soda or Baking Powder or Egg Replacer

Baking Soda - 1 and ½ tsp Baking Soda + 1 Tbs Vinegar (white or apple cider)

Baking Powder - 1 tsp Baking Powder + 1 Tbs Water + 1 Tbs Vinegar (white or apple cider)

Egg Replacer - 1 and ½ tsp powder + 2 Tbs Warm Water

Salt: ½ Teaspoon

Use any kind, just make sure the crystals are small before adding to the mixture

Sweetener: Sugar, Agave, Maple Syrup, Cane Sugar Syrup, Corn Syrup

Sugar- ¾ Cups

Agave- ¾ Cups

Maple Syrup- ¾ Cups

Corn Syrup or Cane Sugar Syrup- ½ Cup

Fruit- If you don’t have any other vegan sweetener adding extra berries or whatever fruit you are using can help the muffins be sweet enough

Milk: 1 Cup of any non-dairy milk

Oil: 1/3 Cup of any oil 

If you really don’t have any oil you can scrape the oil off the top of a nut butter such as peanut butter, sunflower butter, or tahini

Flavor (if desired): Extracts or Zest

Extract- ½ teaspoon Vanilla, Lemon, or Almond Extracts all work well (or any other extract you have on hand that you would like in your muffins)

Zest- 2 Lemons, clementines, oranges, limes, or 1 grapefruit or any other citrus fruit you have on hand

Fruit (if desired): 1 and ½ Cups

Any fruit, fresh or frozen, that you have on hand will work. Just make sure whatever fruit you use is in small enough pieces when added to the batter. 

Preparing your Muffins!

  1. Preheat the oven to 375
  2. Grease a muffin tin or prepare tin with baking cups
  3. Combine together all the ingredients other than the fruit, unless using a rising agent that requires vinegar, in which case leave that for last
  4. Add the vinegar next and stir for a few moments
  5. Add the fruit and stir until  throughout the batter (if using frozen fruit there is no need for thawing, but do not stir for too long or the fruit will begin to bleed).
  6. Fill muffin tins ~2/3 full
  7. Bake for 22 minutes (or until a wooden skewer inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean)
  8. Let muffins cool and then enjoy!

Makes: ~15 Muffins

Watched Mean Girls and then this was born…Eldarya characters as Mean Girls quotes (I just found this funny to think about)

Miiko: “Okay, I’m going to forgive you because I’m a very Zen person…and I’m on a lot of pain medication right now.”

Alajéa: “That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.”

Eweleïn: “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it! OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.”

Nevra: “Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?”

Ezarel: “I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me…but I can’t help it that I’m so popular.”

Ykhar: “I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”

Keroshane: “Your face smells like peppermint!”

Valkyon: “And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs.”

Karenn: “Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

Leiftan: “Boo, you whore!”

Chrome: “One time, she punched me in the face. It was AWESOME.”

Jamon: “There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”

Ezarel with mustache: “You go Glenn Coco!”

Seventeen as quotes from Mean Girls

Junghan: “I hear her hair is insured for 10,000 dollars”

S.Coups: “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it, okay! Promise? Okay, now everybody take some rubbers.”

Joshua: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school.. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everybody would eat it and be happy..”

Seungkwan: “She doesn’t even go here!”

Wonwoo: “I just have a lot of feelings”

Mingyu:” Is your muffin buttered? …. Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?”

Hoshi:” Oh hi! Did you want to buy some drugs?”

Dino: “What are marijuana tablets?”

Jun: “She is fabulous. But she is evil.”

The8: “ Grool… I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.”

Woozi: “Talk to me again and I’ll kick your ass!”

DK: “I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its’ hind legs”

Vernon: “ Yo, yo, yo. All you sucka MC’s ain’t got nothing on me, from my grades to my rhymes you can’t touch Kevin G. I’m a mathlete, so nerd is inferred but forget what you heard I’m like James Bond the third. Shaken not stirred I’m Kevin Gnapoor. The G’s silent when I sneak in your door. I make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don’t play like Shaggy, you’ll know it was me, cuz the next time you see her she’ll be like “ohhh Kevin G.”

Master post of 53 popular Mean Girls quotes.
  1. Get in loser. We’re going shopping.
  2. Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.
  3. We only carry sizes one, three and five. You could try Sears.
  4. That’s why her hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.
  5. It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain. Well… they can tell when it’s raining.
  6. But you’re, like, really pretty… So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?
  7. Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.
  8. I don’t hate you ‘cause your fat. You’re fat ‘cause I hate you!
  9. I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.
  10. I want to lose three pounds.
  11. ’Cause she’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.
  12. Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!
  13. If only you knew how mean she really is, you’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah, two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them. It was so sad.
  14. On Wednesdays we wear pink.
  15. Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!
  16. Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hmm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!
  17. You smell like a baby prostitute.
  18. I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.
  19. I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that.
  20. I can’t go to Taco Bell. I’m on an all-carb diet.
  21. If you’re from Africa, why are you white? — You can’t just ask people why they’re white!
  22. There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.
  23. I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.
  24. Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.
  25. She doesn’t even go here!
  26. Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.
  27. He’s too gay to function.
  28. Here we go again. Word vomit. No…this time actual vomit.
  29. FOUR FOR YOU GLEN COCO YOU GO GLEN COCO….And none for Gretchen Weiners bye.
  30. Boo you Whore!
  31. I hear her hair is insured for $10,000.
  32. That is the ugliest effing skirt I have ever seen.
  33. She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.
  34. Don`t have sex. Cause you will get pregnant. And die.
  35. You can`t sit with us!
  36. Is butter a carb?
  37. Oh, hi wanna buy some drugs?
  39. My nail beds suck.
  40. It’s not my fault you’re like, in love with me, or something!
  41. I did not leave the south side for this!
  42. Nice wig Janice, what’s it made of? — Your mom’s chest hair!
  43. One time, I saw Regina George wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.
  44. Sweatpants are all that fits me right now.
  45. That is so fetch!
  46. Stop trying to make fetch happen.
  47. I can’t. *fake cough* I’m sick.
  48. Grool! 
  49. The limit does not exist.
  50. Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
  51. I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can’t help it I’m so popular.
  53. If you had never met me, you would be a complete loser
bibliophilecellistsoulsearcher replied to your photo “I made mac and cheese surprise! The surprise is that there is Old Bay…”

Are you baking them? And would you mind posting a recipe, they sound magnificent!

I did, yes! Those are fresh from the oven. 

Okay, SAM’S OLD BAY MACARONI AND CHEESE. The formula for a mac and cheese sauce is that for every cup of uncooked pasta you use, you use one tbsp of butter, one tbsp of flour, a half cup of milk, and a half cup of cheese. If you like a thicker sauce, add a little extra butter-and-flour. I did a double recipe below because if you’re gonna grate cheese and make a roux you might as well make it worth your time. 

Makes twelve muffin cups of mac, or about six large servings.  

2 Tbsp Butter
2 Tbsp Flour
1 C Milk
3 Tbsp cream cheese or neufschatel cheese (optional)
½ tsp Old Bay (or more to taste)
½ tsp dijon/white wine mustard (optional)
1 C cheese, shredded (I used colby jack, but cheddar or provolone are good)
Roughly 2 cups uncooked macaroni, or 1 cup macaroni and 1 cup tortellini
¼ cup of panko bread crumbs mixed with 1 tbsp of melted butter (optional) 

Melt the butter over medium-high heat in a saucepan and sprinkle the flour over it; stir vigorously, scraping up the bottom of the pan, until the mixture is smooth and just starts to turn golden. At this point add the milk, and whisk or stir over the heat constantly until it starts to thicken a little, then turn the heat down to low. Add the Old Bay seasoning and mustard. You can use other seasonings instead – usually I do a bit of garlic powder, some pepper, and sometimes red pepper flakes. 

At this point you can add a few spoonfuls of cream cheese, but it’s not necessary. I just tried it tonight and I think it gives it a nice richness. Stir until it’s mostly melted in. 

Turn off the heat and add in the shredded cheese, stirring until melted and the sauce is smooth. I normally don’t salt the mixture because the cheese is salty, but I’m super sensitive to salt and generally don’t salt my food. Taste the sauce and if you think it needs salt or other seasoning, throw some in there.  

Preheat the oven to 350F and boil a pan of water for the macaroni. If you’re using tortellini too, throw it in there with the mac; if it’s frozen, throw it in when the water’s still cold and it’ll be done when the mac is. Once the noodles are cooked, drain and return to their pan, stirring so they can dry out just a little bit. Combine with the cheese sauce and mix thoroughly. 

You don’t actually need to bake this. Everything’s cooked, so it’s good as is. Baking just helps everything meld a little. 

If baking, pour the macaroni and cheese into a greased pan (an 8″ cake pan or a pie tin works well), or do what I did and line two muffin tins with liners and bake them that way. There’s no culinary advantage, it was just easier to use liners than to clean out a pan. If you want some extra crunch on top, sprinkle the tops with the panko mixture. I didn’t bother because I didn’t have any crumbs. 

Bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes or until the edges are bubbly and/or the panko on top is browned. 

Eat standing in your kitchen, straight from the muffin cup. Or you know, serve warm as a side dish if you want to be fancy.

I was encouraged to be a trash monster by filiandkiliheirsofdurin and this is the result: Mean Girls Bagginshield AU, save me

Bilbo is Cady, Thorin is Aaron Samuels, Nori is Janis, and Bofur is Damian

Thranduil is Regina George, Tauriel is Gretchen, and Legolas is Karen

Gandalf is Ms Norbury and Galadriel is Principal Duvall

Kili is Jason (would you like to butter your muffin?) and Fili is Glenn Coco (You go Glenn Coco). Bard is Shane Oman and Dwalin is Kevin (the mathlete)

Someone save me from this hell but also encourage me to write it