would you like me to repeat the question

His || Jungkook || 0.14

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13 | 0.14

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ao3 link


Yuuri is in the kitchen when he hears Victor call it out in question. They had just finished up supper and Victor had cooked so Yuuri was in the kitchen washing up the dishes to return the favor. And he’s just standing by the dishwasher, humming idly and wondering if Victor has picked out a movie for them to watch or if tonight is going to be a night where they watch game shows featuring Victor yelling out the answers that can actually be correct on occasion. It had been a long day at the rink and Yuuri even wonders if maybe they’ll have a nice glass of wine before bed.

So, Yuuri is just minding his own business, not thinking twice when Victor calls out his name. He hums back, expecting a question or statement about leftovers but then…

“What’s yaoi?”

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anonymous asked:

Can I have slow, long and teasing 2009!Phan smut please !!

this is latelatelate

i added daddy kink bc i’m trash

ew this is shit but it’s 2 am shut up

-

Dan watched carefully from the doorway as Phil sat down on the edge of his bed, stretching his arms above his head.

He bit at his nails; a bad nervous habit he had developed recently, and gazed at him from under the hair falling in his eyes.

Phil realized after a second that Dan was still just standing there, and raised his eyebrows, sitting up.

“Well c'mon,” he said, patting the spot next to him on the bed; oblivious. “Don’t get shy now, it’s not like you haven’t been in my room before.” He flashed Dan a crooked grin.

Dan let his gaze fall to his feet. Fuck, he was already blushing.

“Hey… what’s up?” Phil asked, finally noticing something may not be right with the younger boy. “Did I say something? I’m really sorry if I did, I-”

“No,” Dan said finally, his voice coming out shakier than he would have liked. “Y-You didn’t say anything. It’s n-not that.”

“So what is it?” Phil shifted on the bed, tilting his head to the side and arching his eyebrows in question. Dan swallowed.

“Do you not want to have sex with me?” Dan blurted, his eyes widening and his face going dark red the second the words were out.

There was incredibly painful awkward silence, as Phil stared at Dan and Dan tried not to cry from the tension.

“What?” Phil finally asked, his voice breaking. Dan avoided his eyes.

“Do you not… want to have… sex with me…?” He repeated, slower. “Do you not, like, see me that way?”

More silence, and Dan felt as if his head would explode.

“Come here.”

He looked up, biting his lip and meeting Phil’s eyes.

“What?”

“C'mere,” Phil repeated, motioning to him.

Dan inched forward, slowly edging towards Phil as if he was scared he would bite him. He moved to sit next to him, but Phil grabbed his wrist.

“Not there. Here,” he mumbled, tugging the boy down and onto his lap, so he was straddling him. Dan let out a soft gasp.

“Phil-”

“Dan.” Phil cupped his face, holding his cheeks in both hands, and searched his eyes. “Of course I want to have sex with you.”

Dan blinked. “Y-You do…?”

“Of course!” Phil smiled. “I just didn’t want to… I didn’t want to push anything.” He shrugged. “I didn’t think you were ready.”

“Are you kidding?” Dan squeaked, placing his hands over Phil’s. “I’ve been ready since I met you. I’ve been really, really ready, and I’m tired of waiting.”

Phil laughed softly, letting one hand fall to Dan’s hip, the other staying on his face. “I just thought-”

“Well don’t think,” Dan breathed, pressing his lips to Phil’s abruptly. Phil froze, before melting into the touch. His hand moved to Dan’s lower back, pulling him closer and licking at his lower lip.

“Dan,” Phil gasped, pulling back and resting their foreheads together. Dan’s mind raced, filled with endless possibilities of what they could do, what he had wanted to do for so long. Maybe he was finally going to get what he wanted. “Dan, you have to be completely positive you want this. I am not stealing your first time, that would make me feel terrible.”

Dan blushed. Phil knew he was a virgin; it had been one of the first things they had talked about.

“I want it,” he whispered, licking his lips, his eyelashes fanning his pink-tinted cheeks. “I swear, I want it so bad. I want you.”

Phil slowly intertwined his fingers with Dan’s, sliding his hand into his. “I think we should go slow.”

Dan nodded, smiling. He wanted this, he really did, but that didn’t keep him from being nervous. Phil seemed so damn experienced, he was so much more mature in Dan’s eyes, he still couldn’t believe he was really in this situation in the first place. In Phil Lester’s bedroom, about to…

Jesus. His heart was just about jumping out of his chest.

“Thank you,” he muttered.

Phil hummed, nodding and mapping out a small area of Dan’s neck with his fingers, tracing the skin. Dan shivered, taking a shaky breath when Phil dipped his head, planting his lips to the spot and sucking.

“Oh…” he breathed, choking on the words. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist, holding him closer, and damn, he really seemed to know what he was doing.

Phil really didn’t know what he was doing, not a bit. All he knew was he had dreamed of having Dan in a situation just like this, and now that they were here, he was combining his pure desperate lust with his need to just kiss Dan’s skin as gently as possible, and making it into… whatever he was doing right now.

Phil nipped at Dan’s throat, and Dan tilted his head back, gripping Phil’s shoulders for balance, he whimpered, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of Phil’s mouth and lips and tongue on his skin. He was also focusing on not jizzing his pants.

Phil slid his hands over Dan’s bum, squeezing gently, and a high pitched moan fell from Dan’s lips. He immediately covered his mouth, his eyes widening; embarrassed.

“I-” he started, but Phil just shook his head.

“Do it again.”

“Wh-”

Phil kneaded his ass again, sucking at the same spot on his neck, harder. Dan squeaked, moaning loudly and automatically rutting against Phil’s thigh.

“There we go,” Phil hummed, pinching Dan’s flesh and making him jump. “Good boy.”

Dan whimpered at the praise, moaning again and wrapping his legs around Phil’s waist, clinging to him.

“You’re shaking.” Phil kissed his nose, and Dan caught his lower lip between his teeth.

“Am I?” He whispered back. Phil nodded.

Phil gently tugged at the hem of Dan’s shirt, and Dan lifted his arms above his head. Phil pulled it off, tossing it aside and ridding himself of his own shirt.

In one movement Phil stood, holding Dan up and turning, pinning him to the bed so that now he was on top of him, hovering over him.

“I think you’re shaking too,” Dan breathed, kissing the side of Phil’s mouth.

“Sorry.” Phil laughed nervously. “I just really don’t want to mess this up.”

“You won’t.”

Phil bit his lip. “I could.”

Dan ran his hands over Phil’s shoulders, trying to calm his nerves. It helped to see that Phil was just as scared by this as he was, for whatever reason.

“But you won’t.” Dan pressed kiss after kiss on Phil’s cheeks. “Tell me something.”

“Hm?” Phil mumbled, his fingers gliding over Dan’s stomach.

“Tell me something. Like, something I don’t know.”

Phil chuckled breathily, running his fingertips over Dan’s button and tugging. “I’m slightly allergic to cats.”

“Really?” Dan put his hands on Phil’s, helping him unbutton his jeans, trying to ignore the fire in his stomach. He knew that already. He wasn’t sure there was anything about Phil he didn’t know.

“Mhm.” Phil nodded, his eyes brightening. He slowly and carefully pushed Dan’s jeans down his hips. “My middle name is Michael. But you knew that one.” He licked his lips. “I made a game when I was fourteen. I was really into programming I guess. Still kind of am.”

Dan gasped as Phil’s fingers brushed over his bulge, clinging to him. “That’s- so cool,” he breathed, digging his nails into Phil’s shoulders.

“Dan…”

“Don’t back out now.” Dan whined softly. “Please, Phil, need you inside me.”

Phil moaned, nodding slightly and pulling at Dan’s boxers. Dan had no time to even think about being self conscious; Phil had his hand wrapped around Dan’s cock in seconds, his boxers clinging to his hips. Dan whimpered loudly, automatically bucking up into the touch.

Dan desperately tugged at Phil’s zipper, messily pushing his jeans down, and Phil removed them completely.

“How much,” Phil whispered, biting down on Dan’s neck, listening to his soft noises of desperation. “How much do you need me?”

“So much,” Dan gasped, scratching down Phil’s back. “So much, daddy, please-!”

A growl fell from Phil’s lips and he was sucking on his fingers, before pushing Dan’s legs up and circling his hole.

Dan whimpered, whining and squirming as Phil held him still, moaning when Phil pushed a finger in.

“Daddy,” he breathed again, and Phil groaned. He pumped his finger, digging his nails into Dan’s thigh with the other one.

“Dan, Jesus.”

Dan smirked, grinning at him and licking his lips. Phil leaned up to kiss him deeply, licking into his mouth as he carefully added another finger; stretching him.

Phil was not too quick with the stretching; it was Dan’s first time, and it really had to be perfect. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Dan had chosen him for this…

He was always amazed that Dan liked him in the first place.

The next few minutes were filled with soft kisses and moans, clinging to each other like if they let go, it would all be over.

It took Dan a moment but he soon got used to Phil’s fingers, pushing back on them.

“Daddy, please,” he whimpered, meeting Phil’s eyes. “Want your cock, Phil.”

Phil took a shaky breath, and nodded.

“Are you sure you-”

“Yes, damn it!”

Phil laughed. “Alright, fine. Just making sure baby.”

Phil slicked himself up, lining up with Dan so that their hips were aligned, hovering over him. He kissed him softly, slowly pushing in.

Dan gasped, immediately tending up and clinging to Phil’s shoulders like his life support. Phil hummed, kissing his cheeks and all down his jaw.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Focus on me. Focus on the pleasure.” He slowly wrapped his hand around Dan’s dick, rubbing him in time to the thrusts, and soon he was moaning and squirming under his touch.

“Shit,” Dan hissed through his teeth. “Phil…”

“Good boy,” Phil mumbled, slowly thrusting, aiming for the places he knew would make Dan scream. “Doing so well, such a good boy for me, I- fuck…”

Dan moaned loudly, throwing his head back, practically drooling. Okay. Now he got it. It felt really fucking good.

Phil sped up, watching Dan’s face carefully and letting out quiet grunts ever time he moved. Soft noises of pleasure and the creaking of bedsprings filled the room.

“I-I can’t last much longer,” Dan whined, scratching his nails down Phil’s back. “Harder, go harder.”

“Baby I-”

“Please-!”

And then Dan let out a noise that was probably the most angelic thing Phil had ever heard, and he was pounding into him, snapping his hips roughly as he fucked into him. Dan shrieked, a continuous wordless stream of moaning falling from his lips.

“I’m gonna- I love you, I love you so much, Phil, fuck-!”

Dan came over Phil’s hand and his stomach, whining loud and high pitched, and Phil gasped.

“Holy fuck,” he managed to groan, burying his face in Dan’s neck and letting go inside him, his hips twitching.

They stayed like that for a moment, Dan gasping for breath, his noises shaky, soaking in what he had done. Phil slowly pulled out, but they stayed tangled up together, all heat and sweat and pure exhaustion.

“I meant it.”

Phil looked up, brushing hair out of Dan’s eyes. “Hm…?”

“I meant it,” he repeated, grinning. “I really do love you, I don’t care if that’s weird.”

Phil’s entire face lit up.

“I love you too,” he breathed. “And I definitely don’t care if that’s weird either.”

band-aid solutions

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: smut, angst, humor

warning: slight voyeurism/exhibitionism, dirty talk, dom!jimin, oral

word count: 15k

summary: It’s said that time heals all wounds, but that isn’t exactly true and sometimes band-aids are all you have. You catch your boyfriend cheating on you and Jimin is more than willing to help you forget him.

✩ a/n: inspired by the drama suspicious partner, check it out if you haven’t already!

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Exo Reacts To You Being A Clingy Wife

You wake him up in the middle of the night and ask him if he likes likes you.

Originally posted by ky-ngsoo

Chen:

It was 2 a.m when you woke up your sleeping husband. He rolled over and slowly opened his eyes. 

“What is it jagi? Are you okay?” He asked while pushing your hair away from your face. 

You were nervous and you knew that you shouldn’t have woken him up but you… were having a moment..

Looking down you mumbled, “Do you like me?”

It was quiet for a moment before looking up to see him staring at you. 

“Did you really just ask me that question? I mean it’s not like we’re married or anything.” He asked staring directly at you. 

“I mean like… like.. me.” You interjected. He sighed and rolled over on his other side, “Goodnight WIFE.”

Originally posted by kaibility

Kai:

When he rolled over to ask you what was wrong you asked him, “Do you like like me?”

He looked at you and contemplated his entire life decisions.

“Did you really just ask me that question?” Do you not remember that thing we did when you wore a white dress.. and like.. we put rings on each others finger? Did you… just like forget that entire day?”

Originally posted by laygion

Lay:

When you asked him that question in the middle of the night he took it personal. Like he hasn’t been showing you his love for you and he would be really upset about it.

“Of course I love you jagiya.. You’re the best thing thats ever happened to me. Thats why I married you. I don’t like you, I love you.” He said before kissing your forehead and wrapping his arm around your waist to cuddle.


Originally posted by hio-sjao

Baekhyun:

When you had woken him up he was trying to figure out if you were being serious. He looked at you and tried to read your facial expression but he couldn’t.

“Uh… Do I like you..?” He repeated the question

You nodded and looked at him.

“Is this a trick question because it’s 2 in the damn morning and I’m not mentally prepared. I love you! I love you I love you I love you!!” He rushed out before throwing his body over yours and going back to sleep.

Originally posted by kyvngsoo

D.O:

“Let me get this straight.. you woke me up in the middle of the night to ask me, your HUSBAND, if I….like you…?” He asked. 

“Yea..’’

“Goodnight Jagi.”

“Bu-”

“Goodnight.” He cut you off before rolling back over and going back to sleep.

Originally posted by mminseok

Xiumin:

He’d be like Lay. He’d be worried that he wasn’t showing you how much he loves you and would be really sad with himself. He’d try to change the subject by joking around.

“I married you, you know what that means right? I love you.. like… alot….” He gave you a smirk before pulling you closer to him and humming you to sleep.

Originally posted by fyeah-chanyeol

Chanyeol:

He ignored your question and just pulled you into his arms and held you. He knew you were just going through a moment and wanted some love. 

“i love you more than you could ever imagine jagiya…”


Originally posted by ethereal-baek

Suho:

“Hm?”

“Do you like like me?”

He squinted his eyes at you. Looked at his wedding ring and then at yours.

“ Are you okay babe?” He asked while feeling your head with the back of his hand.

“Suho!”

“I mean what kind of question is that, Mrs. Kim?”

Originally posted by wooyoung

Sehun:

“ Are you serious? Do I ‘like like’ you? You know what, No I don’t. I was sleeping and you woke me up. So no I do not ‘like like’ you.” He growled before turning his back towards you, mumbling “The hell is ‘ like like’? Girl know damn well I love her. Fuck. Waking me up for this shit.” 

He grabbed your hand and pulled you so you were spooning him, kissing your hand and making you wrap your arms around his waist before falling back asleep.

anonymous asked:

Any thoughts/fave moments on the new gaming vid? :^) bless us with your words pls

ahhhh god they just seemed so happy and chill in this video didn’t they? i enjoyed it quite a lot. it was unexpectedly funny in places and pretty typics bants for them and i loved that phil voiced pretty lengthy opinions throughout it. i also thought dan went out of his way repeatedly to signal his awareness of the audience gaze, making this an interesting video in that it was simultaneously more calm and less “produced” or over-performed but also v self-aware (whereas normally when dnp get super in their heads about recognizing that everyone is watching them they become v persona-y and overdone.) i’ve divided up my thoughts for each of them and thought i’d go sort of question by question (they are bolded)!!! i think in general there aren’t too many profound conclusions to be drawn from this video–the thing about their being super aware that this is going to go out to their audience of millions is that they become more restrained in saying anything actually illuminating about their more serious thoughts/feelings. but that being said there were obvi a solid number of noteworthy moments

~phil~ 

  • the boy was so assertive and even sassy in this. i was excited. lil comments throughout like, ‘I’m a bit concerned that you’re seeing it as a brown circle .. new video: getting dan’s eyes checked,’ or ‘life isn’t grand theft auto guys,’ or just the way in which he delivers the ‘let me tell you my answer’ during the monkey question .. he was just so forthright in voicing his thoughts and taking no shit and i was rly loving it the whole time, bless him
  • when introducing the vid dan talks about how the audience will judge them but phil quickly follows with a reassuring ‘we’re learning things about each other’ and i thought that was interesting like he wants to insert that note of authenticity to push back against dan’s comment. i mean i rly doubt they’re doing this game to learn a single damn thing they don’t already know about each other but phil with this comment is trying to make us feel more like we are watching them do something genuine on a chill afternoon at home, instead of something that they are literally performing for us. cool cool 
  • illegal firearm: good stuff. a lovely demonstration of phil’s ~lateral thinking~ and tendency towards constructing a fuller narrative for whatever info is presented to him. 
    • i liked that he kept asking for more information and questioning dan w details like “how do i know they’re illegal” “whose drawer” etc. and dan tries to move on and end the speculative questioning but phil literally says “wait” to keep talking about the methods he would use to evade being accused of any crime if the firearm was in his own drawer. 
    • also his voice is so northern here when he’s like ’then they’d know i didn’t touch it’ the way he says ‘touch’ yes good
  • the power to stop time: this one was mad interesting. 
    • first of all. they’re not sleeping. phil only slept 5 hours. we’ve written so many posts about their being tired and rushed in their content bc they were churning out so many vids in the time before they left for australia but damn, to hear phil confirm he only slept 5 hours is p cray. it’s no wonder they were soooo ‘chill’ in this. they’re tired. 
    • with respect to the actual question tho. i love phil asking ‘what is a pervy stuff’ and dan being so done w phils attempt at maintaining innocence. but then i also loved dan trying so hard not to smile when phil is grinning and clarifying that he doesnt mean that he doesnt know what a pervy stuff might entail but just that he needs to know ‘how pervy are we talking.’ lol dan is so amused and fond. then phil actually laughs so hard at dan saying ‘as long as u don’t leave a trace’ which is great bc phil’s unfiltered/genuine reactions to sex talk that aren’t trying to be revolted or unaware or uncomfortable are great
    • phil’s actual real time go-to thought for what he would do with this power is sneaking into a locker room and he says it with a glaring lack of gendered pronouns. noted. in conjunction with his interest in abs this is very fascinating information to me. 
    • and then dan is very insistent phil would do the pervy stuff even after phil states he’s going with disappearing from a convo. he signals it while phil is explaining his choice then even explicitly says ‘you tell the audience that.’
  • trapped in sewer: phil would lick a foot. dan needs us to know so he repeats it. ok sure fine
  • shitting when sitting: phil is a creative. the iron pants solution, king of innovative undergarments 
  • mike tyson fight: 
    • the synchronized ‘why would u let him win’ was cute. 
    • dan saying ‘punch me dad’ is so chill now. like. no one gives any fucks. and phil is at the point where he literally agrees and says ‘guess that’s why’ 
    • i’m constantly shook about character development it’s starting to be unhealthy
  • visiting space: ok the first and only thing this made me question is whether we have ever heard phil utter the word orgasm. have we? i actually don’t think we have and i was laughing at how much he evaded saying it in the way he talked about this question. g-rated phil may be long dead but he’s still keeping things as clean as he can, given the circumstances. dan did not try and insinuate that phil is just saying moonwalking for the audience. so dan is fine saying phil rly wants to perv if he had the power to stop time, but he draws the line at insinuating phil wants to orgasm in space. good to know dan has (completely arbitrary) boundaries. 
  • ah yes. the already iconic monkey question: several noteworthy lines.
    • p: i would spoon a monkey for sure. he didn’t miss a beat w that. confident statement of interest in animal intimacy from phil. splendid.
    • p: k-k-mar-kiss? i didn’t say kiss? d: that’s non-sexual it can be like a friendly kiss, a romantic one. interesting to me in that it confirms that dan draws distinctions between friendly (platonic), romantic, and sexual intimacy but that he also sort of equated platonic and romantic. on twitter he stated in a reply that he thinks friendly kissing is like a cheek kiss in greeting. its likely that romantic kissing is something more than that and more like the spooning and whatnot he suggested, but he lumps both of them into this category of a loving and intimate relationship. meanwhile sexual kissing is obvi ,, sexual kissing. but cool to hear a little bit about the way dan conceptualizes these categories
    • d: (about acting like a married couple) that could have a lot of drama and tears. you’d fight non-aggressively. i mostly think he’s using the common dumb jokes that society makes about marriage as being a loveless trap but also interesting that he went right to that dig and didn’t rly laugh about it or try to make it seem like a joke. he just said it and it’s sort of weirdly specific. ofc we can easily speculate that this might reveal some of dan’s thoughts about marriage or rly just his thoughts on a long term relationship bc it’s less about the institution of marriage. but i have doubts on whether that’s reasonable since, as i’ve been saying, dan is v aware he’s being watched and i doubt he’d take this as an opportunity to voice his thoughts about marriage and commitment and what is likely to happen when two people “act like a married couple” 
    • d: i mean you couldn’t have anyone else in your life if you have this loving relationship. ah i love this one. dan confirming that whether or not sex is in the equation, a loving and intimate relationship would mean there would be no space for another person in phil’s life is just. good. unlike the marriage comment i do think we can analyze this one a bit further bc it’s almost a throwaway comment–it’s not the punchline or centerpiece of what dan is saying making it more likely to be a reflection of how he really feels. and it’s not a common thought to be honest, that if you’re in an intimate/loving relationship you can’t have anyone else in your life, meaning it doesn’t seem like some common joke he’s just repeating. i take it to mean that dan sees romantic love as a true marker of closeness and connection with someone–a closeness that you can’t and don’t share with other people whom you do not romantically love. and that that intimacy doesn’t have anything to do w the sex that you may or may not be having with the person that you love. what a romantic fuck. honestly spoken like a man whose best friend and long term romantic love are one and the same. 
    • p: let me tell you my answer. i would spoon the monkey and watch some game of thrones and then go to bed in separate rooms. honestly, to me, this is the least interesting comment in this whole exchange. i know a lot of people think this sounds oddly reminiscent of dnp’s relationship or something but i genuinely think phil was in this scenario in his head. maybe he’s pulling from real life when thinking about the elements of being romantically intimate w someone that he could use for his example (aka spooning and game of thrones) but i think he’s rly thinking about the monkey and how not to spend too much time with it in this scenario, hence the sleeping in separate rooms addendum. idk. he’s talking about a relationship w a monkey yall i dont think he’s going to use that as a proxy to give us a thinly veiled clue about his day to day habits with his not-as-yet-confirmed boyfriend. mostly confused that a lot of people are treating it as “confirmation” that dnp don’t have sex lol

~dan~

  • ‘this is really going to say a lot about our personalities and you’re going to judge us.’ he opens strong with that audience awareness. it carries throughout the video.
  • house is on fire: probably the most interesting of the dan questions.
    • dan looks so uncomfortable as soon as phil inserts himself into this scenario by saying that he (phil) would be “all the people.” the sigh is so real bc dan clearly did not want to treat this like a serious question but phil framing it as dan needing to choose between his own life and a kitten’s life and phil’s life suddenly really ups the seriousness of it. 
    • i feel for him. that’s honestly such a fucking difficult question to answer. i thought of the closest relationship in my life which is my sister and what i would do if she was like ha ha who would u save me or yourself and then having to actually think about both of those horrifying scenarios. either dan lives and has to live without phil or phil lives and has to live without dan and like jfc how r u supposed to pick or even try to take that seriously idk
    • i say all of this to add more context to dan’s answer and the sarcastic ‘bc the internet is watching,’ that he adds to it. i genuinely think dan was uncomfortable with this question and i also fully empathize with that so i think the sarcasm was added as a way to treat it more like a joke like ha ha i guess i’ll save u bc i’m a good person not ha ha i guess i’m picking this bc idk what to do since this question is horrific
    • ‘everyone is inherently good,’ says phil. ‘or at least that’s what i want to believe.’ i always think the thing w phil+optimism is a bit overhyped but like damn if he’s rly out there trying to believe this, then that’s p cool and very very lovely
  • everything turns into gold: there was def a dan rant about physics or monetary inflation or something that got cut out of this question bc he yells about it being stupid then there’s a v glaring jump cut then he’s saying ‘in a universe where this makes sense,,’ lol idk whether to be relieved or intrigued about the fact we didn’t get to hear it
  • phil dead and he’s been hanging w the twin: i loved the bit when phil asks dan to ask him a question only phil would know the answer to and dan responds, essentially, that there isn’t a question he could ask phil bc ‘you’ve been fernando the whole time.’ dan is wrong lol the question doesn’t say that the best friend has always been the twin–just that the best friend died at some point in the friendship and was replaced w a twin, unbeknownst to dan. i love that dan can’t even entertain the possibility that phil could be replaced with someone at some point in their friendship like nope too outlandish it’s obvi just saying phil has been a person w a different name all along .. in which case, as dan rightly points out, there’s hardly a dilemma. it’s just that you didn’t know your friend’s real name. what is the point of that. lol. a cute and probably unintentional way of avoiding any of the emotional weight of this scenario and i love it
  • dan as pres: dan thinks he’d be good in the role of president. he probs would be ok
  • spider: i am very fascinated by the way dan leans kinda forward and mostly into phil at 9:04 when he’s talking about being a spider and exploring someone’s body. why did he do that. what is he doing idk
  • become a god: 
    • making fun of lads and lad culture. i’m into it. i am always into them lowkey shitting on toxic masculinity. so funny. 
    • again phil tries to insert himself in the scenario by saying that if dan chose to incinerate earth he’d be incinerating phil, but dan was absolutely not having it 

overall they are cute and clever and good at knowing where to draw boundaries about the things they talk about but to do so in a gentle and natural way for the most part so this video was good and interesting but probs not revelatory but still very entertaining and funny and sort of soft in unexpected ways so i really liked it. i really like them xx 

(what would you do if…)

Truth Or Dare

Pairing: John Winchester x Reader
Word count: 1,397
Warnings: Smut. Unprotected sex. Cussing.
Challenge:  This was written for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog’s Mimi’s Trope Challenge. My trope was Truth or Dare/Never Have I games

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Tease

Jack Sparrow

Tease, mermaid reader, flirt, mention of smut

Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean

Request: “ Hmmm going for Pirates…
Could you possibly write a cute ‘reader x character’ fic with (Captain) Jack where the reader is a mermaid/man in training and is learning how to lure men from their ships to their doom…but is failing…Like instead of singing something melodic they’ll rap or beatbox or something, or they’ll “try” to pose seductively on a rock and have seaweed blow into their face, and they’ll circle his ship, leaping out of the water like a dolphin just saying “am i doing this right, do you give up yet?  am i winning?” to the point where the captain just sort of gives up and helps them learn how to do the mermaid/man thing right…
I hope that inspires something <3 “

Word count: 699

A/N: I changed the request quite boldly, because I didn’t quite understand the request, but I hope you like this version!

gif is not mine.

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What They Call You... Stiles

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Reader x Stiles Stilinski

A/N: As requested, here’s the nickname that Stiles gives the reader. And remember, requests are open. Also, if you want to be tagged then lemme know

Tagging: @stilinski-jpeg, @obsessed-withthe-hales @dumbass-stilinski, @wolvesofthebeacon


You had known Scott and Stiles for a long time since you had been at the same school since fifth grade. You weren’t friends or anything, but you had classes with them and if you missed class then you could talk to them and look over their notes. As mentioned, nothing close.

It wasn’t until high school that you became part of their ‘crowd.’ You were in the bleachers, reading, when the lacrosse team came out and started practicing. That was nothing new, but there was something new on the team. You felt a shiver run down your spine, making you look straight at Scott McCall. Putting your book away, you watched in silence as each player went against Jackson.

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Originally posted by adoring-fictional-characters

Stiles laid back against the sheets, staring up at the uneven surface of the ceiling. The words fell from his lips before he could stop them, “Hey, Derek, have you ever kissed a guy?”

Stiles’ heart lurched as he realised what he had said.

Derek thought about it for a moment, lying still next to Stiles. He replied, “No, I haven’t. I have done some things - dancing at clubs, drinking with guys and some… intimacies - but no, I haven’t ever kissed a guy.”

“Have you ever wanted to?” Stiles asked. “Like, to see how it felt? To know whether you get that flutter in your stomach or that warmth?”

“I don’t know,” Derek admitted. “I guess it depends.”

Stiles rolled onto his side, his whiskey-coloured eyes meeting Derek’s gaze, his rosy pink lips growing closer as he said, “If I, a guy, were to kiss you right now, would you want me to?”

Derek wanted as Stiles’ lips quivered with his warm breath. He swallowed hard, losing himself in the golden depths of Stiles’ eyes.

“I guess it depends,” Derek repeated.

“On what?”

“On whether it means something,” Derek whispered. “On whether you like me or I like you. If not, then it’s just a kiss; it means nothing.”

“And if it means something?”

Derek’s heart beat against his chest, his ribs aching as his mind screamed at him to end the torment, lean forward and seize Stiles before he lost his opportunity.

“Does it mean something?” Stiles asked before Derek could. “If I were to say I liked you, would you-?”

Stiles’ question fell short as Derek cupped the back of his head and pulling him closer. He brought their lips together, shattering the tension as Stiles relaxed into the kiss.

It was a blistering warmth and a flutter in his stomach, but at the same time it felt so right; it felt normal, like this is how it should be.

After a moment, Derek broke away from the kiss.

Stiles rested his forehead against Derek’s their shaky breaths mingling and playing across their lips.

“I’d say it back,” Derek confessed.

A sweet smile lifted the corners of Stiles’ lips as he craned his neck and brought their lips together again in a tender, slow kiss.

Say You Love Me // a.i.

Originally posted by fivesosgif

Summary: She feels like they’re on two completely different planets and after a while, she gets tired of Ashton shrugging off any concerns she has about their relationship. They love each other, but the message gets lost in the days. 

Boy: Ashton Irwin

Warnings: swearing, fighting??

A/N: this is an angsty one my friends. please let me know what you think!! I’m getting back into writing with the help of my friend Jenn who motivates me. PLEASE SEND REQUESTS Its always more fun when people ask for them!! I’ll gladly write anything (although i havent written smut yet) and I enjoy it! 



Tears traced translucent black lines down her face. Her eyes were red-rimmed and bright, staring directly into his own while they stood. She was speaking low and firm; her words were deliberate. Ashton wanted to look away from her but he couldn’t. Her gaze commanded him to look at her. He desperately wished he wasn’t in this situation and started to reflect on how he even got there in the first place.

It was a few weeks prior, a Monday night, and they had just finished dinner when she stepped away to take a call.

“You’re engaged? That’s so exciting.” He could hear her voice from the kitchen. Despite her words, she didn’t sound very excited at all. In fact, she sounded tired.

“I really am happy for you Jen. That’s so great. He’s a great guy.” Her words were hollow sounding and when he glanced her way he could see her expression was tired and a little despondent.

“Yeah I’ll talk to you soon. Congrats again!” She called once more into the phone before hanging up and sighing.

She collapsed next to him on the couch and leaned her head on her shoulder. “What’s up darling?” He asked.

“I’m just,” she paused, “I guess I’m just feeling a little troubled.” She chose her words carefully.

“About what?” He prodded with caution.

He turned to face her as she sat up. She turned her body so she could look at him directly. “I guess—“ Her face was scrunched up as she decided how to phrase what she was about to say. “Where—uh, where do you see us going?”

He started to grow nervous. “What do you mean?”

She started picking at her nails, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze. “I mean, where do you think we’ll be in the next six months or year?”

He thought for a moment before shrugging. “I’m not sure. I mean I haven’t really thought about it.”

Her face fell and she nodded, turned away from him and returned to the kitchen to wash the dishes.

In hindsight, he realized how bad that answer was.  

He could hear her bounding around in their shared bedroom. She was crying just loud enough for him to hear as she tossed anything she thought she’d need into some bag. He couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. How had he been so absent minded?

She approached him about a week ago. Ashton was typing away on his laptop while she sat down next to him.

“Hey baby.” She greeted with a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey love. How’s it going?” He answered, setting aside his computer to give her his attention.

“I’m good. I just wanted to see my lovely boyfriend.” She beamed at him.

He chuckled. “What do you want?”

She bit her lip before grinning. “A dog?”

He shook his head before answering. “Very funny.”

“No really. What would you think about adopting a dog together?” She was giddy with excitement.

He sighed slightly. “I don’t know, love, they’re kind of a big responsibility.”

Her smile dropped a little bit it returned as soon as it left. “I know but I think we could do it. We’re responsible adults and we can make it work.”

He shook his head again. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Dogs are kind of a big step. I mean, I don’t think we’re ready.”

She felt her stomach plummet. “Really?”

“Yeah, it’s just people adopt dogs when they’re ready to settle down and stuff and I just don’t think that’s where we’re at.”

“You don’t?” She mumbled.

“You do?”

“We’ve been dating for nearly a year. Excuse me for thinking that we might be ready to settle down.” She shook her head while standing up, exiting the room without another word.

She was walking away. Her figure was moving towards the door of their apartment with a large bag throw over her shoulder that was overflowing with necessities. Ashton was panicking now. He didn’t want her to leave, but he wasn’t doing anything to stop it. Inside he was screaming. ‘Say something!’ He thought. ‘Do something!’ Soon she would be gone and if he didn’t stop her, he knew he’d lose her forever.

Things had been tense since last week. He was reading a book in their bedroom when she wandered in and leaned on the doorframe. He set down the novel when she cleared her throat. There was a long silence where they just stared at each other.

“Are we just wasting time?” She finally asked.

She’d caught him off guard. “What?” He responded a little confused.

“This. Us. Our relationship. Is it actually going somewhere or are we just filling the time? Because I really love you and I like the idea of marrying you someday but if this is just temporary for you then tell me, Ash.”

He was so shocked by her candidness that he couldn’t even think. “I, uh, I mean I just, uh—“

“Do you love me?” She cut him off.

“Why would you ask me that?” He answered immediately.

“Answer the question Ashton. Do you love me?” She repeated.

“Yeah,” He responded.

“Say it.”

“What?”

“Say it. Out loud. Say you love me.”

He approached with open arms. “You know I do.”

She pushed him away. “No, I want to hear you say that you love me.”

“Why?”

“Because,” her voice was louder now, “I can hardly tell anymore! You don’t think about our future, you don’t want to settle down, I can’t even remember the last time you actually told me.” By the end, her voice was shaking.

“Where is all of this coming from?” He was raising his voice now.

“I don’t want to waste my time with someone who doesn’t love me back. I don’t want to keep falling in love with someone who doesn’t want to put effort into their relationship.” She was crying now. Her tears were big and heavy. Her voice started to turn hoarse and she was soaking her sleeves with the excess water dripping from her chin and cheeks.

“But even though you just keep showing that you really don’t want this, I can’t help but think that maybe you do. I want to feel burning flames and passion flow into my bones when you say my name. I want a life with you. Just tell me you love me and you actually want this and I will wait until forever for you.”

He didn’t move. He didn’t speak. He didn’t do anything. He just stood there and watched her fall apart in front of him. He wanted all of that too. He really did. He didn’t have an excuse for not answering. He knew exactly what to say to make this better. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t speak.

“Do you have anything to say?”

His thoughts screamed at him. ‘Yes! Yes!’ they shouted.

She sighed, defeated and marched past him to their bedroom.

Now they’re here. This could very well be the last time he sees her if he doesn’t act now. She gripped the doorknob in her hand. She turned around, about to say one last thing to him but he spoke up first.

“I love you.”

The room was dead silent for a moment.

“I love you so much.” He starts again. “I love the way you dance in the kitchen to really bad music and I love how motivated you are and I love how you love me.” He took a few large strides towards her and grasped her hand.

“I want to get married and I want to get a dog and have a couple kids and buy a house and give you all of the things you deserve but I can’t because you deserve the world. I honestly can’t believe you even put up with me for so long. You are far too good for me and if you walk out that door right now I will understand but I plan to love you until the end of time because you are so perfect that I could never find anyone quite like you ever again.” He was in tears now.

She was crying too. The bag dropped to the ground and she threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. He nestled his face into her neck, smelling her hair and relishing in the feeling of her arms. He was home with her. He was home when she was around. Wherever she was, he wanted to be.

She pulled away just enough to look at him. “I love you too.”

Ashton smiled and kissed her gently.

When they pulled away, she looked at him again with a grin. “Can we get a dog now?”

Not Letting Go - Part 3

Here’s part 3 of the Jason x Reader Soulmate AU!
So I know I am dragging this out stupidly long, but I think we’ve reached the halfway point! Major plot stuff will start happening soon! Hope you guys like it~

Part 1Part 2 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Tagging: @jadedhillon

_______________________________________

The first thing that registered in your brain when you woke up the next morning was that you felt extremely warm. Also, your pillow seemed to be rising up and down ever so slightly. You grumbled irritably, nuzzling into it in an attempt to get back to sleep. A low resounding chuckle jolted you into wakefulness and your eyes shot open, only to find Jason looking down at you, his expression fond. “Goodmorning to you too,” he greeted, tone bemused. You realised belatedly that you were laying across his chest, apparently doing a very good impression of an octopus judging by the way your limbs were entangled with his. You gasped, feeling your face heat up as you attempted to scramble away.
“Jay I’m so sorry! I didn’t” “Shhhhh,” he hushed you, strong arms wrapping around your waist in a vice like grip to keep you from wriggling away. “Calm down doll, it’s alright,” His tone was soothing; you were sure you were red as a tomato right now. Nonetheless you halted your frantic attempt to escape, instead choosing to hide your face against his chest with an embarrassed groan. Jason removed a hand from your waist to stroke your hair; you could hear the amusement in his voice when he spoke. “See? No harm done.” “I’m sorry I sleep like an octopus,” Your voice was muffled against his skin, but you knew he had heard you when he laughed, the sound vibrating in his chest beneath your ear. For some reason hearing it made you feel all warm and tingly. You groaned internally at your own mushiness. “Naw, you’re the best blanket I’ve ever had. I usually toss them off when I sleep. This morning I got to wake up warm for once,” You knew he was only trying to make you feel better, but it still worked. Unconsciously you started to relax against him. Then a thought struck horror into you. “Wait.. how long have you been awake?” Jason paused, and you already had your answer. “Oh god,” You moaned, defeated. He’d been awake before you and seen you attempting to entwine around him in your sleep. “Don’t be embarrassed doll, it’s adorable,” You just shook your head, deciding to let the subject drop before you died of mortification. “What time is it?” You turned your head to try and catch a glimpse of the alarm clock on your bedside table. “Eight thirty. Do you have to be somewhere?” His hold on you tightened fractionally, and you smiled at the reluctance in his words. “Yeah, I have class at ten,” You apologised, then paused. “You want to stay for breakfast?” Hope was like a living thing in your chest. You struggled to ignore it, glancing up at Jason. He grinned. “Doll I’d love to,”

You went to grab a quick shower, leaving Jason to sprawl across your bed and snuggle into your covers. The sight of him like that made it extremely difficult not to just climb back into bed and cuddle up with him, but somehow you managed not to. Once you were in the shower you took a moment to freak out, hopping up and down under the spray of hot water and hugging yourself tightly. The mix of excitement and nervousness was making you feel wired, and you had to take a few deep breaths to calm down, resting your head against the cold tile. You had never felt this way about anyone before Jason, had never allowed yourself to, and not just because he was your soulmate. It wasn’t uncommon for people to date others who weren’t their soulmate, you never knew when you would meet them so it wasn’t always practical to wait around. Your father hadn’t been your mum’s soulmate, they had been fifteen when they started dating in middle school. No, you had just been scared. Honestly you still were. Scared that Jason would leave, and even more scared of what would happen if he didn’t. His potential to change your future was almost terrifying. Your plan in life had never been very detailed, but a couple of things had always been concrete. You would go to college, graduate, get a stable job and make things better for both yourself and your mum. Now everything seemed uncertain. You still wanted to do all those things, but you didn’t know what impact Jason would have on that yet. And you knew already that you would give up so much to keep him with you.

When you had finished with your shower and gotten dressed, you checked that Jason’s clothes were dry and directed him towards the bathroom so he could clean up. Then you headed downstairs to start on breakfast. Your mum had already left for work so you didn’t have to worry about explaining why Jason was here. The night you had come downstairs wearing his jacket you had told her that it belonged to one of your friends. At the time you weren’t sure where things were going between the two of you and you didn’t want to get your mum’s hopes up. You knew she hoped you would meet your soulmate sooner rather than later, and you didn’t want to tell her that you weren’t sold on the concept. Now though… You figured you should probably tell her soon.
You mused over how you would go about breaking the news while you set about preparing breakfast, putting bacon and eggs to fry on the stove while you set the table. Jason emerged just as you were plating up the food, fresh and damp from the shower. He leaned in the doorway grinning at you, jacket drapped over his shoulder. You grinned back, unable to help yourself. His smile was infectious. “Smells delicious,” He commented, coming up behind you to wrap his arms around your waist, lowering his head to nuzzle into your neck. He sniffed, growling playfully. You let out a surprised laugh when you got the joke, swatting at him with the teatowel you were using to handle the hot plates. He chuckled, releasing you, and went to sit in the chair you shooed him towards. “Sorry, I didn’t know how you like your eggs,” you apologised, setting his plate down and taking your own seat across from him. He shook his head. “It looks great, thank you,” He hummed appreciatively when he took a bite and you smiled, tucking into your own food. “So what classes do you have today doll?” You chatted casually about your plan for the day, Jason interjecting occasionally to ask questions. He always seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say, and you found that you loved that about him. “How about you? Any plans?” You asked curiously. He grimaced. “Just helping Bruce out with some W.E work probably,” You had been genuinely confounded when Jason told you that he was the supposedly dead son of the billionare Bruce Wayne. All he had told you about the issue was that it had been a kidnapping gone wrong, and Bruce had genuinely thought him dead. He had decided afterwards that announcing that Jason was alive after so long would cause an uproar; it wasn’t the kind of story Wayne Enterprises would want to be associated with. You hadn’t questioned it any further than that. You could sense that it was a sore subject, and you knew that Jason would tell you more when he was ready.

Jason stayed to help you wash up after breakfast, a little voice in the back of your mind noting with satisfaction how well you worked together. Once you were finished you hugged him goodbye at the door, promising to text him later once you got home. You had admitted to him a while back that you often waited up in case he decided to come over, and after that he had taken your phone number, promising to message you in the evening if he was going to drop by. He had seemed pleased by your admission, jokingly adding a heart next to his name in your phone.
Once he was gone you sat at the counter with your school work, deciding to review your notes before class. Not even five minutes later your mum popped her head around the kitchen door, nearly giving you a heart attack. “Ohmygod mum! I thought you had work this morning!” You gasped, cluthing a hand to your chest. “I thought you were an intruder!” You accused, and then realised that if she was home it meant that she knew Jason had been here. You were so screwed. Your mum just smiled knowingly. “I switched shifts. Is that boy gone? I must say he’s very handsome,” She breezed in, filling the kettle to make herself a cup of tea. “Of course I knew when I saw the jacket that he probably would be, he has very good taste,” She turned to give you a wink and you groaned, letting your head fall into your hands. Of course she knew. When had you ever been able to hide anything from her?

Your mum called your name and you looked up, finding her leaning against the counter looking at you, arms folded. “Is he your soulmate?” She wasn’t angry that you’d had a boy over and hadn’t told her, you knew that she trusted you. Still, you found that you were surprised nonetheless. You had been expecting more of a reaction. Instead she seemed happy, you suspected maybe even excited. You nodded hesitantly. “Yeah.. His name’s Jason,” She smiled. “Jason,” She repeated, mulling the name over. “How did you meet him?” You groaned internally. You knew this wouldn’t be the only time you would be asked this question, and quite frankly the answer was kind of embarrassing. “I kind of ran into him in town.. literally. He offered to help me up and I uh, I ran away,” you admitted, and she laughed, shaking her head fondly. “Of course you did. At least he had the sense to follow you. God knows I’ve been waiting for this long enough.” You hesitated. “Would you, um. Would you like to meet him?” You weren’t quite sure why you were asking. You knew you should probably clear it with Jason first, but you knew he was secretly dying to bring you home himself. You didn’t think he would mind. “I would love to. Why don’t you invite him over for dinner tonight?” “Okay,” you mumbled, and your mum smiled warmly, coming over to hug you tightly. You squeezed back, glad to finally be able to talk about Jason to her.
Once you were outside and on your way to class you decided to send Jason a text. ‘Mum found out about you. She wants to know if you’d like to come for dinner tonight? x’ You hesitated a little before adding the x, feeling childish, before deciding to hell with it and sending the message. Jason texted back almost immediately. ‘What time? I’ll be there. (: x’ You smiled to yourself, nervous excitement taking root in the pit of your stomach. It was going to be a long day.

Negan Gets The Girl

Summary: After Reader and Daryl have been taken from Alexandra, Negan shows no intentions to Y/N. Making you kiss Daryl resulting in Negan flipping out revealing his true feeling for Y/N.

Warnings: Mature audiences, Smut, swearing (it’s Negan there has to be swearing)

Negan x Reader

It had been a while since you had seen Rick and the group and you missed them. Negan had taken you to the sanctuary and you had no idea why. At first, you thought it was to punish Rick and then you thought it was to be his wife, but it wasn’t any of those reasons. You couldn’t help but wonder why you. He could have taken anyone else.

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elizahamiltonwasahufflepuff  asked:

Seriously has the phrase "excuse me" dropped out of the English language? There are better ways of getting my attention than asking "where are the eggs" or even worse simply saying "eggs". Yes I'm here to serve you but at least try to treat me like the human being I am! You'll get a lot further with retail workers by being nice to them, trust me.

“Excuse me” is not just polite, but it gains attention. If you just blurt out your question to someone they are likely to miss half of it then have you repeat it. Not that hard a concept and would save everyone trouble. It’s worse when people just say the word of the item they are looking for instead of a full sentence since you’ll miss 100% of that if you’re not paying attention enough to realize someone is there “asking you a question”. -Abby

Prom (Peter Parker)

based on this post 

“Prom is coming up, Peter.” you told Peter as he took a flyer from a student. Peter sighed. “The most dreadful part of school is always prom. Unless you have a date.” he said and glanced at you. You snorted. “Oh, please, I only wanna stay home and watch Netflix. It’s not like somebody’s gonna ask me out anyway.” you said. 

“Ned would love to ask you out.” Peter said, as if it was a matter of fact.

“Ha!” 


You were cooking your dinner - or merely just microwaving leftover pizza - when Peter called. You picked up your phone and answered his call. 

“Hey, Peter! What’s up?” 

“What color should I wear to prom?” 

You raised an eyebrow, even though Peter couldn’t see it. “What?” 

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The Joker X Reader - “Forgotten”

Being captive for so long inside that high security prison wasn’t easy. After breaking out, you’d better snap out of it soon. The Joker’s been to hell and back also, but you hallucinating about offsprings you don’t have is a new, different level.

Everything in your mind is clouded and distorted after the electroshock therapy session this morning. All the meds they force you to take never seem to help, they actually make everything worse. You’ve been listening to the screams, gunshots and clamoring outside your sealed doors for about 2 hours now. A riot?… A breakout?… Who knows and it doesn’t really matter since you’re trapped.

The sound of the heavy metal gate opening gets you out of trance.

“You’re welcome, my beautiful people!” the intercom voice sarcastically announces.” I take it back; some of you are really ugly!” (muffled snickering) “Now get out there and have fun!”

You struggle to concentrate on your steps and carefully walk out on the hallway, coughing when you inhale the smoke creeping up all over the place. Dead bodies scattered all over, inmates and guards alike. You see prisoners running around, some of them bumping into you and almost knocking you down. It makes it even harder to focus.

“Watch it, bitch!” you hear a raspy voice and you get pushed out of the way, getting slammed against the wall. You would normally fight back with tooth and nail after such offense, but at the moment you can barely function.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?! Stupid idiot, this is Mister J’s woman!” you distinguish the tall man in front of you kicking the other one away.

“…How…how am I supposed to recognize her without the hair and makeup?” the inmate tries to defend his action, startled. You involuntarily touch your short hair, remembering they cut your long, red locks adorned with neon green highlights a few months ago. All that is left is your natural color: a dark blonde clipped short in some type of pixie style you don’t like at all.

“Shut the hell up moron, and go make yourself useful ! Kill a warden or something!” your rescuer snaps, lifting his Scarecrow mask just a little bit, enough to bring your hand to his lips and kiss it. “Apologies my Queen,” he smirks, “that simpleton wouldn’t recognize royalty even if it hit him in the head!”

“D-Doctor Crane, h-have you seen J ?” you stutter, even dizzier now that the smelly vapors made their way into your lungs and brain. Not what you need, that’s for sure.

Jonathan lets go of your hand, adjusting the mask on his face.

“Yes, he was in the control room with me, I believe tried to reach your men and then went away!” So much ruckus and noise; Scarecrow is basically screaming at you and yet you can hardly comprehend what he’s saying. “Hold on,” he places your back against the wall, turning around to shout as loud as he can: “DID ANY OF YOU JERKS SEE THE JOKER?”

A few detainees close by heard Crane and one of them points out towards the north side of the corridor:

“I passed him by about 5 minutes ago; I think he’s looking for her!”

“Good,” Jonathan concludes, giving you a soft nudge in the pinpointed direction. “Proceed, milady and don’t let these assholes bother you!” he mischievously laughs, grabbing a machine gun from a corpse under his feet. You start walking, hoping you’ll find J soon.

Explosion in the distance, more fumes and commotion; it certainly doesn’t do wonders for your state of mind.

More inmates run by and you continue to pace, holding on to the wall, trying not to fall over the cadavers. The first detail that stands out in the thick smoke is his green hair. You smile, relieved, reaching your hands out, striving to run without succeeding.

“J!… J !!!! “ you call his name, trying to get his attention.

“Y/N!!!” the Joker gasps, finally seeing you. He rushes over and takes you in his arms, tightly embracing you as he pushes you in the closest cell. “Princess, I’ve been searching for a while,” he growls, tilting his head backwards so he can see you.

“I’m so glad y-you’re O-OK,” you stammer, fighting not to slur your words, but it’s hard. You hug him again, breathing in his scent; it calms you down a bit.

“Where’s your hair, Pumpkin?!” he inquires, distressed, caressing your short, dull hairdo.

“It’s been gone for a while, baby,” you softly chuckle in his ear. “I didn’t behave so they took away a lot of my privileges.”

“Good girl!” J praises but continues to complain. “Don’t they know I like to play with your hair until I fall asleep?! What am I supposed to do now, hm?” he frowns, debating on the options. Not much to work with.

“You don’t like my new style?” you whisper, even if you predict the answer.

“I hate it!!” The Joker admits without any trace of hesitation, leaning over for a fast kiss. “We need to go before they take this place back, come on!” he hurries you, dragging out of the room before you utter anything else.

“Baby…” you yank at his hand and he turns, marching faster as you stagger behind him. “…baby, w-where are our children?”

“What?” he makes you repeat since you’re back on the hallway and everything’s lauder again.

“Where are our kids?”

The Joker pauses, biting on his lip, puzzled at what came out of your mouth. He presses you against a concrete pole, checking you out with an intrigued expression on his face.

“We don’t have any children, Doll. What are you talking about?!” he bites his lip, touching your burning cheeks with his fingers.

Great, you’re delirious from the meds and God knows what else, exactly what he needs right now. But he’s been there before and he knows it won’t last forever.

“Do you think they’re alright?” you ignore his statement, insisting on a confirmation from his part.

“There are no kids, Y/N, ok?” J attempts to reason with you and takes a deep breath, sadly validating his belief that you are in a worse shape than he is. “We need to move, let’s go!” and he starts hauling you away so violently you almost fall down on your knees behind him. “Faster, Doll, come on!” He guides you up and down the swirly corridors while you cough up a storm, chocking with the intense smell of blood, gun powder and ashes. One thing you know: you can’t let go of his hand so you do your best trying to keep up with his fast walk.

Finally out of the building and he looks left and right, deciding to follow a group of inmates lead by Doctor Crane towards the South wall of the heavily gated perimeter.

“Are you staying for some fun?” Scarecrow checks, handing over a gun to The Joker.

“No, we need to get out of here,” he shortly responds, still struggling to pull your weight.

“Too bad then, but suit yourself and hurry up; I’m sure they will send reinforcements soon. We opened the small gate that leads to the woods; right there!” Jonathan shows him, starting to run after the men that left him behind.

“Come on, Pumpkin, make an effort!” J grunts, placing your arm around his neck so he can aid you stride rapidly.

The alarms start blaring even louder after you take a few steps in the forest.

“We have to get away from here as far as possible,” he pants, abandoning his plan of helping you walk since it’s not working too well. He grabs your hand again, yanking it every few seconds because you’re falling behind.

“W-where are we going?” you whine, wiping your face with your t-shirt, feeling you’re going to faint.

“I got a hold of our people and told them to meet us south of here, I don’t want them near this place; we can’t risk being caught again. We’ll have to make it through the woods for more than a day; it’s quite the distance but I gave them the coordinates,” J strains to help you over a huge fallen tree, contemplating the steep hill ahead.

“Baby, we didn’t leave the kids behind, did we?” J discerns the mumbling behind him and he sighs, exasperated. “They weren’t with us, right…?…”

“No, they weren’t. Our children are fine,” he mutters, not wanting to get mad about it since he can’t reason with you.

You’d better snap out of it soon. He’s been to hell and back also but you hallucinating about offsprings you don’t have is a new, different level.

“Oh, that’s great,” and you instantaneously sound so cheerful that he squishes your palm harder, not affording the luxury of stopping to check up on his girl.

 You walk for hours and hours, barely taking small breaks. It’s a miracle you didn’t pass out yet since you have a terrible fever. The Joker considers abandoning you because the questions about your nonexistent kids keep on repeating every so often and you get on his nerves, but doesn’t have the heart to. Even if you slow him down and seem incoherent, you’re still his Princess.

You finally stop to rest when the evening comes, taking shelter under a thick grove. J would like to continue but it will be really dark soon and hard to see.

“I’m thirsty,” you tug on his t-shirt, not being able to fall asleep.

“Me too, Doll, just hang in there, huh?” he protectively wraps his arms around you, trying to keep you warm. It gets colder when the sun goes down. You lick you lips, listening to all the sounds of the forest.

“I’m hungry,” you fuss but there is nothing to eat.

“Me too,” J plays with your hair, not having enough to even twist around his fingers once. “I hate it!” he grumbles, unsatisfied with everything, especially since he can’t even wind down doing what he loves to do.

“I have such a headache baby,” you yawn, and he kisses your forehead, thrilled you didn’t mention anything about children in the last couple of hours.

“Me too,” he confesses, caressing your waist.

“It’s so cold,” you shove into him, shivering. “I missed you so much,” you breathe on his chest, squeezing him as hard as you can.

“Don’t tempt me, Kitten,” he purrs, trying to control his desire. “It’s been so long,” The Joker moves his head forwards so he can kiss you. “You’re burning up, Y/N,” he notices and you close your eyes, exhausted.

“I’m good, don’t worry,” you move your hand around his neck so he can’t go away. He is so close and you have the awkward impression he’s not close enough. “Are you really here?” you open your eyes again, wanting to see him before it gets dark.

“I am here,” The Joker confirms, giving you one of his silver grins you adore with all your being. “You want my shirt?” he offers, feeling you tremble more.

“No, I have you to keep me cozy,” you snicker and J is delighted you appear better. “My shirt is all wet, makes me even colder,” you get up on your knees, still holding on to him for balance.

“You’re gonna strip for me?” he elbows you, snarling.

“A little bit,” you smile, pulling the garment over your head while turning so you can lay it on the grass. The Joker stares at you, shocked. You instinctively cover your breasts with one hand and touch your locks with the other. “Umm… I-I know I don’t look very pretty right now,” and your eyes get teary, dark thoughts racing in your troubled mind.

“It’s …not that, Kitten,” he gulps, slowly turning you again so he can look at your back: the portraits of your children tattooed on your skin, names right under – Emma & Kase, with a huge inscription at the base of your spine: “Property of Joker.” His finger traces their faces, intrigued, searching through his broken memories, appalled at himself: it’s not that you were hallucinating about your kids, it was him that forgot about them after what he’s been subjected to.

“What’s wrong?” you whisper, tilting your head so you can see him. He’s so alarmed it makes you panic. “What’s wrong?” you reiterate, cupping his face.

“Y/N, where…where are our kids?!”

You start crying, hovering over him.

“That’s what I’ve been asking all day! I can’t remember if they were with us or not,” you cover your mouth, sobbing louder.

J pulls you on top of him, showering your face with kisses:

“I’m sorry, Doll, I’m sorry. I…I can’t remember either. I bet you anything they’re with Frost, we never take them with us…yes?” he guesses, desperate to calm you down.

You nod a yes, uncontrollably weeping and shuddering from the cold you don’t even feel anymore. You fall asleep crying; a dreamless, unsettling daze, wasted and drained from all the emotions and physical ordeal of today’s events.

Even if he was tired as hell, J didn’t sleep all night. The fact that he forgot his children made him cringe. It wasn’t his fault but it didn’t make it better. Somebody will have to pay for such affront. The Clown Prince of Crime doesn’t forgive or forget. Ever.

***************************
Your men did find you after almost another day. As expected, you were both in a bad state but it didn’t matter when you heard they did have your kids. You were both incarcerated for almost a year, yet your 4 year old twins were well looked after as instructed. You had rules in place in case something happens to either you or The Joker and it sure came in handy.

When you found out HE tried to retrieve Emma and Kase in your absence, you asked for a meeting late at night at the secret location out of town. He agreed, knowing it won’t be pleasant.

** As soon as Bruce Wayne gets out of his car, he regrets the stupid decision.

“Don’t try to take my kids again, do you hear me?” you walk towards him, ready to slap him but you stop yourself in time.

“They need a safe environment, Y/N,” he defends his action you obviously found out about.

“With you??!!! “ you scream, furious your cousin dares uttering such nonsense. “They are OUR children, not yours! How are you a better choice? We have arrangements in case of emergency so back the fuck out!” you push him away, mad at his high and mighty attitude.

“Dammit, Y/N, you were sent to infiltrate his empire, to help bring it down and capture him! And…and…”, Bruce raises his voice also, “ you had The Joker’s children??!!! How did you even do that???!!!”

“I slept with him, that’s how!!!!” you sniffle, huffing, aggravated at his remarks.

“Don’t be crass, Y/N!”

“Don’t ask stupid questions!” you snap, punching the hood of his car.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he speaks in a lower tone, wanting to improve the current situation.

You take a few deep breaths because your temper is kicking in.

“We had our kids because we wanted them, got it?! If you are concerned about his parenting skills, I’ll have you know he’s no better or worse than other fathers. Definitely more challenging, but he manages. WE manage, OK? I keep an eye on things, don’t interfere!”

Bruce opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

“Where were you when I was locked away, forced to treatments I didn’t need or want? Hm? Oh, that’s right, I’m crazy because I love him. And he’s an insane psychopath, right? Is this the diagnosis? Or are they just guessing still?” you continue your unstoppable tirade, fed up with all the crap.

“I did search for you, I swear I did!” he rubs his eyes, impatient to talk.

“With all your resources and you couldn’t find me?! You truly expect me to believe that?”

Bruce rolls his eyes, sighing.

“You’d better come to your senses or I’ll let everyone know who you are, starting with him,” he threatens, upset at your behavior.

“Do that and I’ll make sure everyone knows who you are, starting with him,” you have a comeback and you mean it. Bruce Wayne touches his face, wishing you were still a little girl so he can tell you what to do. You used to followed his lead; now it’s way complicated, a real mess. “I have to go,” you announce, clenching your jaw; there’s so much tension between you. “Don’t try to follow me or anything, I’ll know.”

You step away slowly, carefully measuring your steps and debating if you should say it or not.

“Bruce…” you softly call out his name when he’s about to get in the car. “If we both get killed one day, you can take our children. Other than that, you can’t,” and you continue to walk, realizing your cousin won’t answer. He starts driving and stops the car when he gets near you. You gaze at each other for a few seconds then he speeds away in the night, turned apart by the whole state of things. You are more than flustered and keep on walking downhill, taking a right on the first street at the bottom. You begin to walk faster and faster, running through the park, then pacing about 5 more blocks and finally reach the small dark alley where J is waiting for you in a black, unmarked SUV.

“How did it go?” he winks and your teary eyes answer for you. “That bad, hm?” he sulks, kissing your hand.

“Things needed to be said,” you sniffle, and J lets go of your hand, beginning to drive.

“It’s soooo sweet how he thinks I don’t know,” he maliciously snickers, wanting to cheer you up.

“You promised a long time ago you won’t do anything reckless,” you address The Joker, frowning.

“Me, reckless?! Are we talking about the same person?!” He’s content when he sees a smile on your lips. “Come on, Pumpkin, I would be so bored without him!” J chuckles and you kiss his cheek, absent minded. “Hey, Princess, do you have any more space on your back for another tattoo?” he bites his lower lip, enticed.

It takes you a few moments to analyze what he said and it makes you happy.

“There’s always room for one more,” you agree and he takes your left hand, placing under his on the steering wheel so he can have you close.

“We gotta keep uncle Batsy busy, am I right?” he glares in your direction and you slap his shoulder.

“You’re not funny, stop it!”

“Ugghhhh,” he grouchily moans. “I’m always funny. Ssstttt, don’t talk back, woman!” he scolds when he sees you want to probably be sassy and reply with a smart remark. “I’m taking you out to a very late dinner, Frost is babysitting,” J proudly boasts about his little surprise.

“Didn’t he have a date?” you inquire, intrigued.

“Yes, he’s babysitting with his date. What better way to spend the night than taking care of your boss’s kids, correct?!”

“Jesus, baby, you ruined his plans,” you scoff and he gently runs his fingers on top of yours, still holding them captive on the steering wheel.

“Couldn’t care less, I need to be alone with my girl,” he shamelessly admits. “We need to work on the new face to be added to that tattoo, am I right?” and he expects a reply.

“You’re always right,” you cut him some slack.

“I know! That’s what I keep on saying and nobody listens,” he criticizes, glad to see you’re not upset anymore. “But, Doll, what am I supposed to pull when we have sex? Your hair is still so short,” he teases, confident you find this very seductive.

“That’s your only problem right now?! Why do you bring it up every single time?” you mock, irritated.

“I hate it!” he discloses with no hesitation whatsoever.

“You’re so rude!” you shake your head, biting on your cheek.

“I know!  And thanks, you know I will forever take it as a compliment.”

He’s not even lying.

Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

anonymous asked:

yo, could you possibly do a fic where gaston survived at the end, but he's so badly damaged that reader takes him in and ends up having to teach him how to walk again? Thanks~

Pairing: Gaston x Reader
Fandom: Disney / Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Warnings: /

A/N: this wasn’t supposed to be as angsty as it now is lol. I’ve been listenting to sad music while writing this so that might be why haha. But I gotta be honest, I really like it that way! Hope you do too love! thanks for the request <33

                                                       *****

You got up from the chair in front of the fireplace when someone knocked on the door and walked over to open it.

You were surprised but also happy to see your old friend Belle on the other side of the door.

“Belle! It’s so lovely to see you! I heard what happened at the castle.. I’m really glad that you are alright,” you gave your friend a short hug.

“(Y/N), I didn’t know where else to go.. you’re the only one I know who has skills in medicine and I really need your help,” she looked distraught.

“Are you sick?!” you tried to find any signs of.. well.. anything.

“No, no.. I’m good. It’s.. Gaston. I don’t know how, but.. he survived!”

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Deranged: Part 6

Originally posted by taehyungifs

“Sometimes human places, create inhuman monsters.” -Stephen King

Warning: Contains violence

Teaser  Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 7

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