would u like fries with that

affictitious replied to your post: “i expected someone to reblog that with malec au’s in mind ?”

the target one makes me laugh tho like. late night target run. magnus really wants vanilla coke and alec is standing under a red neon target sign smoking. magnus comes back out and steals a drag from it and his arm lifts enough for his jacket to show the gun under his armpit. “since it’s movie night, I splurged and got oreos.” he hands alec a starbucks cup with a vanilla latte. both of them kill 4 circle members on the way home.

YES PLEASE look you know i would write forever w/ u about domestic magnus and alec casually crushing circle members along the way like:

  • magnus and alec pulling up to a drive thru in a classic black muscle car. alec wants to know if magnus ordered extra fries. there’s a pounding in the trunk. one of valentine’s men is inside. magnus turns up the radio and they drive off.
  • alec is waiting alone at a bar. he checks his watch and eventually magnus shows up. there’s blood on his cheek. alec casually wipes it away with his thumb and kisses him. he asks, how many? and magnus replies, drinks or bodies?
  • magnus lounging on the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee. he looks sleepy as they chat about the weather while alec disassembles his sniper rifle.
  • they argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes. i had to clean the blood out of the car last night because of you so technically you owe me. magnus is too distracting, though. the dishes never get done.

anonymous asked:

i tried to sneak some sea salt out of my family's kitchen in my hand for a spell but my mom saw me and she was like "uh what r u doing" and i panicked and ate it bc "i like the taste" p.s. sea salt tastes awful 0/10 would not recommend

omg, maybe try it on french fries? 

also when i carry salt upstairs i usually go with “i found a tiny slug i gotta take care of”

protagonistically  asked:

NEATOH WOW BRUCE REALLY LIKE TO GO TO SPORTS GAMES WITH TIM BECAUSE HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW AND WHY TIM GETS SO MAD BUT IT MAKES HIM LAUGH HARD AND HE LOVES WATCHING TIM'S FACE GET RED AND ANGRY AND YELLING AT REFS KAY I LOVE U BYE

This is just the best though? Like, Bruce is this huge, buff, ultra-manly, competitive alpha male, you know? But he just doesn’t get sports. At all. It all seems pretty arbitrary, especially if you’re not even playing. He pretty much thinks everybody should calm down, the stakes are really not very high.

And then you’ve got Tim, who wears the grossest seven-year-old jersey (that used to hang almost down to his knees, but he grew into it) that is literally falling apart because he’s got spirit, and he talks about stats and different plays and how maybe, for the first time in nine years, Gotham might make it to the playoffs. And he’s not delusional, Bruce, he gets that they won’t win, but it would be so nice to not finish at the bottom of the league this year! Right?? And!! Tim could wear a Gotham jersey– wait for it– outside of Gotham, Bruce!! Proudly.

And Tim, cool and collected Tim, YELLS AT THE TV IN THE MANOR when games are on, wearing his falling-apart clothes and four-day scruff and he’s throwing his arms and too worked up to even sit, and citing like. Obscure as shit rules and violations while he paces, and the TV is blaring at full volume and Tim, also blaring at full volume, is shouting back at the commentators and every ref’s decision. 

<3!!!

Namjoon stealing ur fries. U whine for them back and he agrees, but only if u kiss him.

anonymous asked:

Rlly hard questions: 1. Would you rather eat a fried spider or chocolate covered beetles 2. 5000 bucks or 3 kittens? 3. Out of all your online friends who would you most likely date if you had to 4. Out of all your irl friends who would you most likely sell to Satan if you had to

1. Either sound ok ! I actually like bugs, I think the cronch is fun
2. Money,, I’m sorry but ?? Get a cat and have left over money
3. If I had to date a pal?? Huh I mean like, I dunno tbh. I’m not a “dating type” hm…. I mean I would have to be someone who likes me back and like?? Hm. I dunno. I would date them all tbh? I feel like I trust them all enough. I kno i can’t date some omg yea but like? Huh.
If I had to pick one it would be Shane just for the fact people thought me and him were dating bcjdjff
4. All of them?? Can I do that???
Hhh

3

“Yes, waitress? I’d like to order this sexy lady over here the best burger you offer. Super juicy and meaty… like her personality. Greasy like her hair when she doesn’t wash it for a few days. Dense like her knowledge of dead musicians. And sizzlin’ hot like her body!”

“And how would you like that cooked?”

“Rare… like that booty. One in a million, girl!”

“I… I’d actually like medium rare. And curly fries. Thanks.”

if 5sos were french fries

luke: that long ass uncooked one that’s bigger than any potato you’ve ever seen before like how

calum: that one that’s always salty af no matter what u dip it in

ashton: that small crumpled up one that’s crunchy af but willing to sacrifice itself by falling out of the bag first

michael: that one fuckin shit that always gets stuck in the bag and doesn’t wanna come out to see the light of day and would rather just stay in the cold dark freezer until it expires bye

tagged by: @you-got-me-intoxicated (*finger guns*)
Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 20 followers you would like to get to know better.
Name: Victoria C.
Nicknames: Vic
Zodiac Sign: Leo
Orientation: Ace
Ethnicity: white
Favorite fruit: Strawberries
Favorite season: Early fall. That special weather where u can wear jeans without roasting and a tank top without freezing
Favorite flower: foxglove
Favorite scent: vanilla extract
Favorite color(s): TEAL
Favorite animal: I love dogs
Coffee, Tea, or Hot chocolate: I rarely drink hot beverages? Aquafina all the time
Average hours of sleep: Mon-Thurs 6.5 and Fri-Sun 8
Cat or Dog Person: I love dogs
Number of blankets you sleep with: 3
Ideal Trip: Northern Germany
Blog Created: ooh boy this one I think I started posting to in Nov 2013?

tagging: @bimber-dews , @ishxallxgood, @shapeshifting-squirrel, @blackstarofdeath1 , @bubblynx, @elvendara, because I see you in my notes, I appreciate you (I know I have more wonderful, loyal followers too! I don’t have time to tag you all but i still love u)

i would like to talk about

how important

this gif is to me

look at him. throwing his stupid styrofoam cup like it’s a fuckin grenade or some shit.

thinkin he badass bc he just punk’d out a car with an empty piece of plastic he probs got from a mcdonalds drive thru.

“BITCH BETTER HAVE MY FRIES”

“NEXT TIME U GETTIN THE WHOLE MEAL HOE”

“HAHAHAH TAKE THAT YOU PIECE OF- oh shit is that the hamburglar rUN U FUCKBOYS RUN”

can u imagine this happening

hansol: hey hyung i’m gonna write some lyrics for my new mixtape do u think u can get me some things it’ll probably take a while

jisoo: sure! here’s some chocolates, a plate of fried chicken, a gallon of water, a pillow and a blanket, your bandanas, and oh would you look at that, A BIBLE.

hansol: ….

jisoo: good night! have fun! :-)

anonymous asked:

pro-tip if you're using on-campus tutoring: DON'T APPROACH THE TUTORS OUTSIDE OF THE TUTORING CENTER. i work at my cc's writing center and the people i despise the most are the ones that come up to me while i'm doing my own hw/eating lunch and ask me to check their paper. the center is ON CAMPUS and FREE. unless you WANT to get us to talk shit about you to our coworkers, don't bother us while we're going about our lives (tho if you're a friend/partner u might get a free pass bc we like u)

I agree completely. You wouldn’t go up to a fast food employee on their day off and expect them to make you french fries, would you? No. You would go to the fast food restaurant instead. The same goes for tutoring centers. Unless you have made specific plans with the tutor, you do not ever expect them to do work for you outside of the center. Go to the center and have someone else look it over for you if it absolutely must be done right this second, don’t ruin someone’s time away from work.

(Right when I read this, I texted it to The Counselor, who is a tutor and his response was “that’s certainly grounds for justified murder, I think.”)

during prom weekend I was chillin outside by myself and this SEXY beautiful my DREAM guy walks up to me and is like hey what’s good and I was like 😍😍 he had dark hair big lips blue eyes nice smile I was like OMGGG so anyways I was acting all bro w him because he was obvi straight so I set him up w my friend and then later I needed a lighter so I went around the motel to ask and then I bumped into him and asked if he wanted to smoke (weed not cigs before u thots ask me) and we got sooooo high omfg like we were fried and he was acting so brain dead and dumb it was so fucking funny and he was so hot so I was just nonstop giggling and staring into his eyes and I felt like warm butter ☺️☺️☺️ and no we didn’t end up fucking because he wasn’t gay but like if he was u know I would’ve made him my burre right at that moment

Do u ever get some fried pickles that have a way fucked up pickle-to-bread ratio like not enough fried crust part at all
Like if I wanted a Warm Pickle I would have warmed one up in the microwave like COAT THAT SHIT W THE FRIED PART

man i was just like…. u kno what, i never work out EVER and im feeling really gross and bloated and unhealthy since i just spent 4 days eating nothing but fried food in NOLA, so i decided to actually for one time in my life look up an online youtube workout video just to try it out! so i did it, and here i what i have to say: it was literally SO awful. there is nothing in this world i hate more than working out. i would rather have my limbs eaten off by wild bears than have to work out ever again. there is virtually nothing in this world that could possibly make exercise pleasant or fun or at all Worth It in any way.