would her saving his life not have been an appropriate time for him to develop a crush

Talks Machina Summary (Episode 89)
  • Denise message: “I emerge from the loam to reclaim what is mine.”
  • Brian gives Laura and Liam roses a la Bachelor. Travis doesn’t get one and is v. sad.
  • Critrolestats: The last episode crushed the record for most DM facepalms.
  • Laura and Vex both thought they wouldn’t be able to get through to Vax and would thus have to deal directly with the Raven Queen
  • Laura asked Matt for a bunch of information about the Raven Queen after buying the book.
  • Grog was hesitant to get involved in Vax’s resurrection after his contribution wasn’t heard in Scanlan’s, but Travis couldn’t resist the callback to what happened in the workshop. In the past, he would’ve shaved Vax’s head or something, but the prank-war stuff seemed less appropriate now.
  • Travis after a discussion of which tooth Vax lost: “We haven’t yet addressed dental work in this land of Exandria.”
  • Laura mentions that it was really intimidating to have Liam on-set for the ritual. Brian proposes a Waiting-on-Resurrection cam, and Laura tests some lighting for it. Travis is terrified.
  • Laura didn’t realize Orcus is, you know, a god. She got a lot of tweets along the lines of “you done fucked up”. Travis recounts the story of the time Matt showed him a picture of Orcus and how terrifying he is. They all point out that Matt could very well deviate from the D&D canon in his interpretations of these characters, so they’re trying not to make too many assumptions.
  • Brian: “I went reddit-free like Travis, and I lost 15 lbs of emotional regret.”
  • Grog has been paying attention to all the good things Vax has done for the rest of the party and beyond, and so he’s been moving away from seeing him as just a target for pranks. Both Grog as a character and Travis as a player were really moved by Vax’s words in the workshop, to the point where he couldn’t come up with a response and chose to just leave it at that.
  • Laura is still appalled that Travis tried to steal her donuts.
  • Laura doesn’t think Vex would’ve become the champion if Vax hadn’t made it, and she wouldn’t have put on the armor. She didn’t make that pledge to the Raven Queen, but she wouldn’t have blamed her for what happened. If Matt hadn’t ended the last episode where he did, Vex would’ve blamed Keyleth–unreasonably, Laura hastens to add, but she would’ve lashed out irrationally. There wasn’t really any place to add that in, but she had a callback to that emotion in the apology to Keyleth later in the episode.
  • Everyone discusses how Keyleth made the right call in jumping out with the twins when she did.
  • Liam is choosing to interpret everyone’s successes in their various resurrection rituals from an in-game perspective as Vax deciding that this is a sign that they’re all being pushed along a certain path, and that they all have a purpose together in the Raven Queen’s eyes–he’s Fate-Touched, but they’re all tangled up with him.
  • Grog essentially assumes that the resurrection ritual is gonna work every time, because that’s what’s happened so far. He’d react pretty strongly if one of them permadied, because he’s not used to dealing with the death of people he actually gives a shit about.
  • Grog is mostly just relieved that Scanlan’s alive. He doesn’t have a very nuanced impression of why Scanlan left, but he assumes he’s gonna be back.
  • The twins bicker over whether Vex might technically be older than Vax now since he was dead longer.
  • Travis talks about developing a character with a weakness and playing to that weakness. Makes it much easier to improv a character if RP is an important part of the game.
  • Liam: The point of the game for this group is to make each other laugh and surprise each other.
  • For playing characters that are family in D&D, Liam and Laura recommend sitting down to hash out backstory together, so you can throw in references throughout to tie it together. It also helps that they already kinda treated each other like siblings to begin with.
  • Laura has really been noticing what a great job Marisha’s been doing of building Keyleth’s character, and Vex has been noticing it, too. “Keyleth’s been getting so freakin’ cool because Marisha’s so freakin’ cool,” and she can finally let that start to bleed through.
  • Grog didn’t entirely get what Percy did in terms of the Friends spell, but if he’d asked Grog to do something he didn’t want to do, things might have been different, but he didn’t give a shit either way.
  • Laura doesn’t think Keyleth’s mom is dead.
  • Someone points out that Vex is the only one who hasn’t called VM their family. Laura is startled and says she absolutely considers them her family, it just hasn’t come up explicitly.
  • Liam points out that Vax doesn’t know shit about being a paladin of the Raven Queen. Laura points out that Vex arguably knows more about the RQ than Vax.
  • Laura starts going through all the flavors of donut she had. Brian cuts the show there.

After Dark:

  • Vex would give up the broom to save Trinket, would not give up Trinket to save Grog, but would give up the broom to save Grog… and would probably not give up Trinket to save Grog.
  • When asked if Vax had any criteria that his friends could’ve failed the resurrection with, Liam refused to answer.
  • Laura ran into a Critical Role fan at Target once.
  • Ashley got recognized a lot in New York by Critical Role fans.
  • A fan asks Vax what it’s like to be controlled by a voice actor named Liam O’Brien. Liam, in-character: “Well, he’s a bit of a dad, isn’t he? He’s a doofus.”
  • Everyone is asked which item they’d want to have in real life. Travis: Whisper. Laura: Raven’s Slumber on the long-term, the broom on the short-term. Liam: Deathwalker’s Ward.
  • Laura saw fanart of Vax giving Vex the feathers when they were kids, and she loved the idea. Originally they were just part of Kit’s concept art.
Someone Chatty This Way Comes

Also on AO3.
Look, an actual one-shot!  This is the @miraculousfluffmonth  Aug 24 prompt, wrong number.

Once Marinette had gotten Tikki settled with a couple of warm cookies, still soft with melty chocolate, she picked up her cell phone.  "I’m just going to make sure Chat got home all right.“

"He did get thrown pretty hard today,” Tikki said.  "But the miraculous cure should have fixed everything.“

Marinette shrugged.  "It may have fixed the physical bits, but there’s still the memory of it.”  She knew that first hand.  She knew she didn’t have to be concerned about him developing a tolerance to the cure, and that it would work on him every time; she’d questioned her kwami after a particularly brutal attack on that particular topic.  She pulled up the messaging app they’d started using a few months ago.  She’d learned about it from Alya.  A lot of their classmates used it to keep in touch out of school, and to get homework help.  Ladybug and Chat used it to talk when they were out of their suits.

“It’s nice that you worry about him,” Tikki said, smiling happily as she took another bite of the cookie she was working on.

“Of course I do,” Marinette said, indignant.  "He’s my partner, and one of my closest friends.“

"Any chance his persistence is paying off?” Tikki asked.

Marinette turned away, feeling the heat in her cheeks.  "I have no idea what you’re talking about.“

"Sure you don’t,” Tikki agreed.  "You’d never blush over your partner.“  She giggled.  "You’re so cute, Marinette.”

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The origin of love (is you)

for days 7 & 8 of eijiroctober: with ashido, with kaminari. 

Ashido’s “wild, fun, time-of-their-lives cryptid hunting slash get Kirishima to confess to Bakugou” road trip is shaping up to be exactly that – as soon as Kirishima can figure out how to be Bakugou’s gay awakening.

ao3 link

“Ohh, this is gonna be so awesome!” Ashido exclaims through an ecstatic grin. Her bouncing can be felt throughout the entire vehicle and the window’s rolled down so she can periodically stick her head out, inhaling the fresh valley air and gazing at the miles and miles and miles of nearly identical forest scenery – somehow she never grows bored of it.

Her trusty camera is suspended around her neck, ready to snap at any suspicious looking animal, plant, or light in the sky, though she doesn’t expect to until tomorrow. Their destination is a prime cryptid sighting area, which she’s spent her entire life dreaming of visiting. To help her is a carefully selected group of individuals: Yaoyorozu, her girlfriend and greatest supporter, skilled in all things involving logistics and survival, so she’s sure to save their lives at least once before they’re safely back home; Sero, in charge of managing their provisions (food, gasoline, money), as well as being the only person Ashido’s knows with a valid driver’s permit; Kaminari, her partner in crime in all things reckless and fun, an absolute must if they’re going to have the time of their lives; Bakugou, the designated hiking expert that’ll guide them through the wilderness where a cryptid is absolutely hiding; and Kirishima, so Bakugou would agree to come in the first place, and also because Kirishima’s an excellent source of moral support and keeps the crew passionate about the cause (and because Ashido’s totally working on hooking him up with Bakugou during this trip – her noble subgoal, which must also be accomplished at all costs).

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anonymous asked:

Do you only ship Bakushima? Or are you in the camp that 'all super heroes much be celibate because villains can use their lover against them because look what happened to nana' people

This ask about relationships in BNHA’s world is really thought provoking and interesting, thanks for this one Anon.

To begin with, heroes in BNHA are government workers, so they’re paid by the government, and have functions they need to accomplish as such. Once they enter the pro-world, heroes will be paid for sure, so what do they want after that? Do they want to be sidekicks forever, do they want to take care of small crimes and maintain peace at a small scale, or do they want to make it to the top, open their own agency and be part of history? Depending on their objectives, the way they’ll lead their lives will be really different. If they’re content with maintaining peace on the neighborhood, heroes can probably have a private life and take care of a family, while they won’t once they’ll be busy in a big crowed city. Gran Torino said so to Izuku; the more people there is in a city, the more the crime rate will raise. So if you want to make it big, you’ll need to go to a large city, and make a name for yourself by snatching the spotlight for yourself. Being a top hero is a competition; remember the very first appearance of Mount Lady, and how she took the spotlight from Kamui. He still resent her for that some times after. Heroes need to be popular, and if they want to shine, they need to do it by being better than others. Heroes are constantly trying to outclass all of the others so they can be on the front page of papers and magazines and acquire recognition. So of course heroes need to be available all the time. Therefore, no private life for them, or very little. The person that will be the most close to them won’t be any family, but their partner at work, because they’ll spend all of their time together in their agency or on the fields, and will more likely share more intimacy and meaningful moments with them. In those regards, look at how Toshinori talked about his relationship with Sir Nighteye. 

I don’t know what exactly was said in Japanese, but by his face and Present Mic’s reaction, it’s safe to think that he was really talking about their relationship as a personal one, since he said they broke up. I’m not saying they were together as a couple, but it’s true that they must have been close given the time they spent together as the Symbol of Peace and his sidekick. Busy heroes can’t hope to have close relationships because it’s time-consuming, and because it would probably endanger their close and loved ones and often lead to tragic endings. Nana Shimura’s family being a sad illustration of that matter, as well as Waterhorse’s, Kouta’s parents being heroes together but leaving their kid behind because they were also killed on duty.

But one thing emerges of all this individualism and glory-seeking heroes are living by. Actually, it’s wrong and very dangerous to perceive a hero profession as a competition for recognition and award of One best hero of all time. What good came of All Might being the only Symbol of Peace and shouldering all of the responsibility alone? As a result, the day All Might was taken down, society was dragged along with him. One cannot shoulder an heavy responsibility as this one alone, or they’ll eventually self-destruct under the pressure and take down with them everything they were bearing alone. Individualism has been shown as very wrong in BNHA. Heroes are competing against each other, trying to steal their spotlights or give it graciously when they think there’s nothing they can do, waiting for someone else to do it, and fighting over who will get recognition rather than maintaining peace, defending what’s right and inspiring people. Of all the heroes we’ve come to know so far, only a few were actually really inspiring and life-changing for our students; All Might, Crimson Riot, and Number 13 to a lesser extent. As Crimson Riot was a good influence on Kirishima, All Might wasn’t for Bakugou who wrongly appropriated what he did, as he was “won over by the way All Might looks like when he wins”. Bakugou was so impressed he decided he won’t be any good unless he could look like that too, and eventually built up a lot of anxiety about this goal. Because Bakugou is smart and was blessed with powerful abilities, he could make it to UA and aim to be a hero, but he passed his entrance exam without earning any rescue point; it says a lot about his mindset. Bakugou needs to realize that it’s wrong for him to think like that, and to awake to his urge to save as well, or else, he’ll never bloom as a hero. But the thought seems to make its way slowly, because Bakugou has good people surrounding him who care about him and are keeping a close eye on his progression, so I’m sure he’ll be fine. In a way, Endeavor illustrates what Bakugou could have become if he kept up the same mindset and rivalry forever (I already wrote about that matter on this post) and never opened up to anybody.

So relationships are crucial, and need to be fortified so society won’t collapse if one of the strongest hero is taken down, even if they’re not romantic ones. Romantic relationships aren’t the only loving and  fulfilling ones, I already wrote about two relationships that are very moving and aren’t romantic; Izuku and Toshinori, and Izuku and Iida. So I think it’s important for heroes to learn to rely on each other and build great trust so they can know they have each other’s back. Currently at UA, students are barely forced to work together (and are even motivated to fight among themselves); each time they did it was because villains appeared. I think it’s wrong for UA to still promote a mindset who caused All Might to raise and to fall by himself. One for All is a dangerous quirk itself; it crushed Izuku since the beginning because it was already too heavy. Heavy from the large responsibilities and power entrusted to only one individual, and to be shouldered by one person only. So it’s highly important that students come to realize they need each other, need to help out each other to re establish solid foundations for this society going astray without its only pillar, and they won’t do it unless they build strong relationships between them so they won’t make the same mistakes their predecessors did.  

Now about the romantic relationships I personally like in BNHA. Overall, it’s true that I only ship Kirishima and Bakugou for what we’ve seen so far. I won’t write about why I ship them here specifically, an entire post about them would be more appropriate for that. Though there’s also another relationship I have a soft spot for as a romantic one; Kendou and TetsuTetsu. I really appreciated how they worked together during the villains’ attack back at the training camp, and I like their chemistry. 

As analytical as I can be, I also choose relationships I like based on what they make me feel; do those characters look at each other in a certain gentle way, value and care about each other? Do they seem to feel curious, interested about each other and appreciate being together? Does the chemistry going on between them could eventually lead them to fall in love because they could easily be, or are already close and dear to each other? I must admit that I’m quite fond of Izuku and Shinsou as well, but I can’t bring myself to ship them completely as I’m waiting for more meaningful moments to be shared between them to be convinced they could be right for each other. That being said, Hori has still a lot to show us so who knows which relationship will get development and reveal to be also interesting? For now it’s only canon that Uraraka is in love with Izuku, but it’s also confirmed that her feelings were in her way to improve as a hero, so she put them aside for now. Izuku himself, as much as he appreciates and respects Uraraka, is also more implicated in improving as a hero to indulge in any romantic relationship. Romance doesn’t really occupy such a large part of the story, given how characters are busy with their own objectives, but I trust Hori about treating topics such as Love. In his previous manga, Oumagadoki Doubutsuen, it was explicitly treated; Shiina himself told he loved his friends and cared about them, and former villains said that they came to understand what Love was. 

Hori already treats mature topics, so it actually would be more weird for him to don’t talk about Love and how important it is, especially in BNHA were it’s shown you not only need others’ presence to be stronger, but also need to care about them, accept to be cared for as well, and ultimately bound with them to achieve grand things.

Why I'm OK with the romance in Fire and Hemlock

This has been languishing, unfinished, in my drafts for months. Now seemed an appropriate time to finish and post it.

Not every one is comfortable with the romance in Fire and Hemlock, and with good reason.

But, all things considered, I like it. So I thought I’d talk about why…

I’ve written before about how I’m interested in seeing problematic power dynamics explored in fictional romances (so long as I am ultimately convinced that the couple see - and treat - each other as equals). I’m not sure if Fire and Hemlock quite fits that category, if only because for so much of the story there isn’t a romance.

But the novel does explore a relationship that is problematic. Moreover, it acknowledges the problems, and this means the characters have to deal with them.  

Book spoilers. Also, this is long… Consider yourself warned.

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SPN 11x15: Doing the right thing

Episode 11x15 gave us at least two things worth analyzing, so let’s get started.

1. Dean is a total fanboy who happens to be bisexual.

I know some people won’t give bi!Dean a shot until they see Dean making out with a guy on screen. Fine! Everybody is entitled to their own opinions. However, there’s a point where the heteronormative reading isn’t the number one option, and Beyond the Mat proved that.

Sam’s crush on Rio was not relevant to the story. It wasn’t necessary to give Sam any character development or to further the plot. Why would the writers waste valuable onscreen time to show something that was irrelevant? The only answer I can give (and I’m seriously trying not to be biased here) is that it was there to help us understand Dean’s reaction to Gunner freaking Lawless. My god! The scenes were one after the other. Dean was flustered and admitted something that should have been embarrassing (breaking the law when he was 10) because all he wanted was to watch the man he worshipped. And Sam did exactly the same when he saw Rio. He was flustered and his body language admitted something that was definitely embarrassing (having a poster of Rio above his bed). The way Dean reacted to Gunner mirrored perfectly the way Sam reacted to Rio. Both Winchesters became fanboys. Anyone would react like that if they met the person they admired when they were children, right? The thing is that Sam Winchester was honest and used the appropriate word for the feeling: Rio was his first CRUSH. So, what does this revelation tell us about Dean? That he was excited since he saw Gunner and didn’t want to let go of Gunner’s hand because… the man was Dean’s CRUSH. The parallel is as simple as saying 2 + 2 = 4.

I’ve seen people saying that a man can admire a sports star without it meaning he’s gay. Yeah, that’s true! But that’s real life. Here we are NOT talking about a person in the real world. We are talking about a fictional character whose lines were written by someone who thought it was a really good idea to have Dean’s and Sam’s scenes with their respective crushes one after the other. In storytelling, something like that is not a coincidence. There is a freaking reason for it, and bringing up real life is not gonna change that. People who use this argument to defend the “Dean is straight” viewpoint seriously need to pick up a book or two because they’re missing a lot.

In case we didn’t get the memo about Rio and Gunner being our boys’ mirror crushes, we got the flirty behavior from both of them toward Sam and Dean. Once the wrestling match was about to start, Rio acknowledged Sam’s existence. Even if she didn’t blink at him, her whole body language did the flirting for her. Some minutes later, we got Gunner acknowledging Dean’s existence and blinking at him while Dean looked like all his dreams had come true. Rio’s behavior and Sam’s smug reaction mirrors perfectly well Gunner’s behavior and Dean’s smug reaction. Why is one a crush and the other one isn’t? The answer is easy: Both of them were a crush. Sam had a crush on a woman, whereas Dean had a crush on a man. Big deal! That doesn’t mean Dean is gay. NOT AT ALL. We are not forgetting that he likes women. We are certainly not forgetting that he’s had sex with a lot of women. We’re just saying that he feels attraction toward men, too. And do you know why that is? Because Dean Winchester is a bisexual man.

Can I get an ‘amen’?

2. Dean is going to save Cas no matter what.  

In my meta about 11x14, I said this:

Now in season 11, [Dean] can’t believe Cas would choose to be possessed by the Devil rather than trust him. Last time Cas didn’t trust him, Dean was very upset (8x22).

CAS: Dean, I thought I was doing the right thing.

DEAN: Yeah, you always do.

At the time, Sam had to intervene and ask Dean to go easy on Cas, whereas Dean said that he would stab in the neck anyone who pulled that kind of crap. This time I don’t think Dean is upset, though; he’s heartbroken.

After I wrote that, someone told me they were worried that when this is all over, Dean is going to have the same reaction he had with Cas in 8x22. I asked this person not to worry because I didn’t think that’s where season 11 is going. In fact, I was very excited when I watched 11x15 and realized that Gunner Lawless was a parallel for Cas because I became sure that upset!Dean is not going to happen. Let me explain why I say this.

Gunner was dumb and desperate enough to make a deal that he later regretted. He became a demon’s puppet. He tried to spare Shawn’s life, but Gunner killed him in the end because Duke (the demon) told him to. Duke also told him to kill Dean, but Dean convinced Gunner it wasn’t too late to do the right thing. Dean wasn’t hard on Gunner. He actually told him, “Look, you screwed up, alright? Trust me, I’ve been there.” In the end, Gunner didn’t kill Dean and was the one who killed the demon controlling him –though it cost him his own life. But even after Gunner’s death, Dean continued to believe that Gunner was a good man who made a bad decision.

In season 8, Cas told Dean that when he decided to run away with the angel tablet he thought he was doing the right thing. Dean basically told him that he always thought he did the right thing but always screwed up big time. In season 11, Dean knows that Cas is a good guy who simply made a bad decision. Dean convinced Gunner that he still had a choice, and that’s exactly what he’s going to do with Cas.

Castiel was dumb and desperate enough to make a deal that he probably already regrets or will regret soon. He’s become the Devil’s puppet, but the moment Lucifer tries to harm Dean, Dean will convince Cas that he still has a choice, that it’s not too late to do the right thing, that all of them have screwed up, but that he understands.

“You really believe that?” Gunner asked Dean when he told him to do the right thing. “I have to” was Dean’s response. Dean HAS TO believe that Cas can still be saved; Dean HAS TO believe that Cas wants to be saved (even if Sam has his doubts); Dean HAS TO believe that Cas can still do what’s right.

When Dean and Sam returned to the Bunker and they talked about Gunner’s death, Sam said they’ve all been there (made bad decisions). Dean’s answer was, “Yeah, you, me, now Cas.” Sam knew that they hadn’t been able to save Gunner (the guy making a bad decision), so he probably understood what Dean was thinking about Cas because he immediately tried to offer some comfort, “Dean, we’ll get him back.”

And Dean? Oh god! If he was crushed and hopeless at the end of 11x14 because he couldn’t save Delphine and the Bluefin crew, he had a change of attitude at the end of 11x15 despite not being able to save Gunner. Dean wasn’t hopeless anymore. He became determined, with his mission completely clear: They are gonna shank the Darkness… yes! They are gonna ice the Devil… sure! But Dean Winchester’s number one mission is: TO SAVE CAS because he knows Cas is not gone, like gone, gone. “True love can get [him] out.”

Mistletoe (Steve x Reader)

A/N: I’m sorry it’s been like a week since I’ve actually posted something but I’ve been so busy with New York and I’ve just been so tired, but I finally found some time to write something! I know it’s out of order and it should’ve been Bucky’s turn, but I love Steve a lot. I hope you like!

Prompt/Request from anon:  Might I suggest small town fluff with cop!steve? The idea is stuck in my head and I think it’d be so cute ❤

word count: 1293

Originally posted by naih-reedus

“Shit,” you cursed as you realized you took another wrong in the residential area. Your neighbor had taught you a shortcut earlier that morning to get into the downtown area while avoiding all the traffic on the main roads, but you couldn’t remember it even if your life depended on it. You had just moved into the small suburban neighborhood about an hour away from the big city. It gave you the taste of living in the city, but it definitely relieved you of all the difficulties that came along with it. It had been a couple of weeks since you moved in and you were still struggling to fit into the small town. “I just want to get to Target,” you whined to yourself as you seemed to be going around in circles, seeing the same yellow house pass by you for the tenth time. You really just needed to pick up some toothpaste.

You were so deep in thought you barely noticed the red and blue lights flashing brightly behind you until it rang the siren loudly, making you jump suddenly. You cursed loudly to yourself. You were going to get arrested for a tube of toothpaste. Slowly, you turned on your blinker as you carefully parked on the side of the road in front of the same damn yellow house. You were tempted to burn it down if you had to see it one more time. You shuffled around quickly as you collected your license and your registrations for your car before the cop tapped on your window. Though it wasn’t completely appropriate, the first thought that came to your mind was how cute he was. Forcing a smile, you rolled down the window and greeted the police cautiously. “Hi,” you said stupidly, despite telling yourself to act calm.

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anonymous asked:


Oh my lord my first hate mail :D This is so exciting! 

BTW, this is my 3000th post. WOOOO.

I’m assuming you’re reacting to my post where I said that I’m starting to get the feeling they only hired Jenna because she’s pretty, that Clara is just getting more and more bland and useless and her character is basically teaching young girls that you need to be nonquestioning and pretty and young boys that to get a pretty girl, you need to treat her like an object and not a real person.

First, I’m going to start by apologizing. You took offence and I’m sorry. I was stating my opinion and I always forget that nowadays you have to be super careful about having opinions.

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anonymous asked:

How do you think Caroline feels about Klaus? I do feel like there's a lot of attention on how Klaus feels, but not so much on Caroline and her feelings.

Sorry for the delay but get ready for a lengthy meta because even though TVD Klaus Mikaelson is my most favorite character the beauty Caroline Forbes is deserves the attention.

So as always this is about TVD S1-S4.

I think that one of the reasons why Klaus gets more attention to this is because he is a more layered controversial character than Caroline. He is more complicated (although Caroline has the potential to reach eventually many interesting layers of conflicting characterization too) and there is always a certain allure in seeing characters that are dark and come out emotionally crippled to give in to certain type of emotions.

Now that been said one thing I am finding extremely interesting is that at least on the surface and even a little bit deeper even though Klaus is a more complicated character it is Caroline that gets the more complicated feelings when it comes to him and how she feels about him.

What is important to understand is that when it comes to Klaus Mikaelson Caroline Forbes has all sort of emotions that are not clear or simple. There is a lot of denial and confusion and frustration. There is a lot of passion and things she won’t allow herself to admit. The road here is long. And to each turn she gets a surprise. From herself and from what she feels. She is not allowing herself those traitorous emotions and thoughts and this makes it all the more harder.

Falling in love is not easy. This is why it is called “falling”. It makes you fall to the unknown. It makes you lose parts of yourself and give in and set sail for the unknown and as if that is not scary enough (especially for an insecure controlling person like Caroline) she has to go through all these motions for Klaus -I will kill everyone you have ever met- Mikaelson.

She refuses to bow down to the legend and she refuses to fall for the man and the more she does the more her emotions betray her. And this betrayal is not one she can allow or forgive because it goes against her own morals no matter how flimsy those morals are since they represent her human version and are not yet built for her vampire one. Or a more mature vampire one.

Caroline’s set of morals are a complicated matter. She feels and has the ability to understand and even walk to the grey area for her selfish needs and for those she considers family and friends (ready to kill for those she loves or allow others and innocent even bystanders to die if it serves her purpose and even stage and orchestrate their death) but that doesn’t stop her from having a narrow perspective of what she considers wrong and right and black and white. And how she sees certain people like the white knights even when they do not deserve it and others like the villains even if their actions can be similar even to hers. Caroline is a control freak (she struggles with borderline aspects of certain types of OCD) so once she is set on something (like what she considers to be good and what bad and what should be done by people) she doesn’t change her ways or her perspective easily. She is also stubborn and strong willed and strong minded. And not easily trusting. So even the idea of Klaus Mikaelson is forbidden because it goes against her whole belief system. And yet as this happens she gets intrigued and challenged. Because the mind is a great tool of persuasion and the biggest aphrodisiac and for such a tenacious and smart woman like Caroline this can turn her whole world upside down. Because as much as Klaus is intrigued by Caroline so is Caroline by Klaus.

She gets flattered by him. She gets to think more. She gets to push herself hard. To see her limitations. She gets to feel the danger and the thrill and the feeling of having someone like Klaus fall for her. It is an extremely seductive situation. And soon the superficial flirtation and the compliments that become her harmless high become something deeper. Something she can’t explain and something she even refuses to acknowledge.

Even the idea terrifies her. Because in her eyes he is evil and has hurt people she cares about but most of all because he is the first man she can’t totally control. Not entirely no matter how much she can manipulate him because Klaus is also brutally honest with her. We all focus on Caroline’s honesty but this goes both ways. Klaus might be trying to charm her but he never pretended to be something different from who he is. He is blunt in his ways. He is ready to devour, to kill, to destroy and to do terrible things like the terrible person he is. A terrible person that somehow grew to care about her something that makes her care for him too in return. It is like gravity. She can’t avoid it and she can’t avoid his own painful honesty. Because he shows her in every turn that no matter how amazing she is she can be a terrible person too. It is part of her nature. And he won’t shame her for it. He will not avert his eyes from her darkness. He won’t lie. He won’t tell her something she wants to listen (aside from their flirting game) and in the end there is a weird code of trust they develop and Caroline feels it. And that creates all sorts of emotions inside her. It makes her feel reassured and frightened. She has all those contrasting complicated emotions. Nothing with Klaus is simple or easy or acceptable or easily defined or contained and that excites Caroline and terrifies her. It is life and death intertwined and for a vampire this is an extreme turn on (emotional, mental, psychological, physical) and newsflash Caroline is a vampire. She is also a vampire with an intact humanity and the ability to understand emotions and she can understand Klaus. She can see more than he even allows. And the more she sees the more she understands and the more she understands the more she gets him and the more she feels for him. It doesn’t make any sense but it happens.

Klaus brings out the best parts in her. He might be the worst possible choice based to a human understanding of what is good or wrong but when it comes to vampires this code and these values change since we are talking about creatures that are reborn with a killer instinct and are meant to be immortal and perceive the world, society, conducts of behavior etc differently. If you think about it many of the things that were considered as right, logical, good and appropriate 500 years ago or just decades before our present time today are completely disregarded and even considered to be ridiculous. So even by these standards Klaus is for now considered to be the bad guy in comparison to the characters that are considered good in the show and more importantly in Caroline’s life.

And yet the villain here is able to bring out the best parts of Caroline. In his presence and in the way he keeps challenging her she becomes strong and fearless. She is the one that gives the emotional wisdom here and she is not insecure. She is feeling safe in her mental state. She stands her ground. She does not need to adjust in any way where she will have to shrink herself in order to be accepted. If anything with Klaus she can broaden her horizon and expand. She is now a force of nature and she is finally acknowledged as such. She automatically becomes greater than life because she believes in herself. She becomes confident and self assured. And for a person like Caroline that had a high level of insecurity that has been controlling every aspect of her her life and has had all these emotion of worthlessness heightened with vampirism this is actually a great deal.

Caroline has always felt as if she was the second choice. She was always comparing and contrasting herself with Elena and even Bonnie and found herself to be less than what she was seeing in her friends (or what other were seeing). She has always had to chase someone’s affection or it was expected from her to be sacrificed in order to save another person as if her worth was less or as if she was not as important as that other said person. She had to be tortured in order to have others give her a hug and even like that she had to hold back and to show them her perfect facade because otherwise she would lose their appreciation. Her pain was not as important as the pain of others. She was not enough in the way she was so she had to always pretend to be different. Even at her lowest points she had to prove herself while everyone else would always take her for granted. She always had to try sooo hard and it was never enough. And it hurt. But suddenly that hurt was not there when she was with Klaus because nothing of the above happened with Klaus if another all the opposite happened. And that was soothing. A breath of fresh air really one that she was ashamed to take because Klaus was still the enemy.

Caroline Forbes never considered herself to be someone’s epic love. She would either be the second choice or a sweet high school crush. Someone would finally settle down with her because the second choice would be unavailable and someone would put others and other things first and she would come second. And even like that she would still have to confine herself in small boxes in order to subdue the traits these people found irritating or unacceptable. And in the same time she would have to adjust her perspective and her natural instincts over vampirism because the vampires around her would either abuse her or would consider vampirism to be a curse.

But Caroline is one of the few characters that was born to become a vampire. It was what she was meant to be.

And Klaus comes and shows her exactly that.

While Caroline had to beg for her life and a daylight ring. While Caroline had to be grateful that even though she was collateral damage compared to her friends she was still one of them as long as she accepted AND followed their lead; and there comes the villain that without meeting her considered her to be collateral damage but once he met her he put her above all and understood her value. The exact opposite from what he closest people around her have done in her whole life basically and Klaus managed to do it just moments after her first met her. And the more he got to know her the more he established this behavior towards her in honest genuine manners.

Suddenly Klaus makes Caroline dream BIG. It is not about the small town boy and life anymore. It is the world and the stars and the great beyond. Caroline was a control freak in her human life so she had everything planned out. She would become Miss Mystic Falls. Graduate from high school. College. Nice Job and then a be a mom in the high society of Mystic Falls with the perfect (preferably rich) husband and kids. That was it and she didn’t allow after her turning to adjust that plan. But then Klaus suddenly comes and opens her eyes in the moment of her greatest doubt. In the moment where she realizes that she will be eternally 17 and her human dreams won’t come true and in the moment where she doubts that being a vampire is even a good thing.

And then the villain strides in and talks to her about art and music and makes her see that losing her small town dreams is actually a great thing because now she is meant to be more, do more, and have the world at her feet. Life doesn’t begin and end in this small place. And most certainly her life that is now only beginning and it is going to be a magnificent one. She can dream of something and make it come true. Klaus presents her endless opportunities and dreams and hope. Suddenly being a vampire becomes a gift. It is not about the guilt and the bloodlust Stefan made it to be. It is not about the children she won’t be able to have as Elena thinks. It is not about the life that will come and go like the one Matt, Bonnie and her mom will have. It is about having a whole world full of potential. One she desires. One she craves for. One she wants to explore. It is about seeing different places and cultures and societies. Seeing empires and wars and miracles. Seeing the evolution of the human kind and the development of science. Is about living not one life but a thousand in any way she desires. It is about having a thousand birthdays. Klaus has done it. Klaus knows it. Klaus has been where she is now and so she knows that there can be a future pass the pain and the will to live never ends. Klaus can offer it to her and Klaus represents it now. And she can only take it. She as a vampire can feel everything more, be eternal and unyielding and untamed. So Caroline gets a new leash on life and with it she gets a new appreciation of what it means to be a vampire.

And then the pull and the push comes. And Caroline is able to see not only the villain or the vampire or the Original. But the man. Klaus allows her to see more sides of him and she gets intrigued. He is charismatic when he wants and she sees it and deep down it makes her swoon but what she likes more is that she can resist him and feel like herself and take him for what he really is. She is not a victim with Klaus. She is a strong woman that deserves respect and Klaus gives her exactly that. And she keeps on seeing more from the man without having rose glasses. She can see the bloodshed and the ruthlessness but also a boyish smile. She can see a charming smirk. She can see his eyes following her with need. She can see him been almost hit by a car because he simply wanted to spent time with her. She can see that he has interests. He likes to draw and he likes to talk. He is a great dancer. She can see he has been hurt and she can see he is lonely. She doesn’t forget the monster and she does not excuse his behavior or his bullshit but she can see what thousand years of pain and rejection and vampirism can do to a person and that interests her because she is a vampire too. And she has known rejection all too well too. She can see that Klaus is damaged but not hopeless. She can see that he is still a man. A man that not only wants her put holy hell he actually puts her FIRST. He is vulnerable in Tyler’s body and comes to save her but he is not taking advantage of her. He lashes out but he can’t bear the thought of killing her no matter how damaged and insane he has become. He thinks he is dying (the splinter in his back) and the first and ONLY person he calls is…her. Not his family. Her. He trusts her. He will be furious and still dug the graves for her. He has manners from the old century and he is wooing her with charming words and dresses but he lets her speak her mind. He won’t force her into anything and he will go as far as she will allow and will only dare to kiss her cheek. And while the others demean her and judge her for not having a brain to mouth filter Klaus actually finds it endearing and he thanks her for her honest.

So now Caroline gets stuck into an emotional whirlwind. She is meant to be in a happy carefree loving relationship and yet she starts having all these forbidden thoughts and desires and emotions for her sworn enemy.

Caroline is loyal to the fault. She is ready to die for those she loves and cares for (either they deserve it or not). So of course she is not going to give in to Klaus and she will fight him to the end. And this makes her strong. And independent and powerful. She stands up to him. And manipulates him. She sees their common traits. She is not blind. Klaus is like a version of her in many aspects. And he also has great taste so that is a plus (come on he plans parties and knows about dresses lmao). And the game continues and the more it does the more her head and heart spin. Why? Because she sees more sides of Klaus in this pull and push but most importantly she sees more sides of her. She gets to understand her own self better and connect with her desires. The unspoken. The dark. Those that only Klaus can ignite and she knows it and …she likes it. And she hates that she likes it. Because no matter how many see her as the cute innocent little saint Caroline Klaus sees her for who she really is. He sees the woman. He sees her as a menace and as an emotional compass but also as a vampire that wants to relish in the power and the bloodlust and the immortality and that does not diminish her light. It makes it brighter for him while everyone else would condemn it.

Caroline suddenly stops being a girl. She is the woman that is too smart to be seduced. She is the woman that can inspire those kind of gazes of desire that in their name empires have risen and fell and legends have been born. Suddenly Caroline Forbes has the promise of the eternal love and a man that is willing to wait for her without asking nothing in return (and by giving her anything she wants) literally for all eternity. And he had been around for a thousand years and knows the world and yet after all his experiences it is her that he wants above all. Because she is worth it.

So now Caroline falls. Falls deeper in the rabbit hole and she is confronted with all the emotions that keep hitting her relentlessly. She gets confused and angry with herself. Because she knows about control and Klaus has managed not only to shake that infamous control of hers but to break down her walls even if she won’t admit it. This in her mind was not meant to be Klaus. It was meant to be one of the people she would have died for. And yet those have not returned the favor. It was Klaus. In every turn.

So she slowly lets him in without giving in while giving in. This is frustrating. And it cuts deep. And as a vampire she feels it in her bones. She can’t throw away the drawing. She can’t forget that she has seen good in Klaus and can’t forget that she can now understand his dark sides too that also belong to her. Klaus represents all her the greatness she inspires to achieve one day and all the darkness that has been brewing inside her.

And he is there for her. He is there to do something no one else has even done for her. And that is simply to listen. He is not there for her to fix. He is not there for her to support. He is not there for her to save. He is not there so she could prove herself. He is not there to make her fight for attention. He fights to be noticed by her as she fought to be noticed by others and he genuinely wants to hear what she thinks. He wants to hear about her dreams, her hopes, her aspirations. Everything she wants from life. And he is ready in a blink to sweep her off her feet. Paris, Rome, Tokyo. He is there for her when she becomes the bad guy and he is there for her when she at her lowest point. She doesn’t have to pretend with Klaus. She doesn’t have to be someone she is not. She just have to be Caroline. And that is more than enough. She is enough. She is the first choice. She doesn’t have to be perfect. Her imperfections are someone’s perfect wish. However long it takes.

So Caroline might not love Klaus now but she loves who she is in his presence. And he is also one charming devil and their chemistry is off the charters. She can be carefree and laugh with him. He can make her smile and scream and fight. They have blood shared also. So she remembers the sensation all too well.

It takes only one kiss (she initiates) for her to lose control and jump his bones. It is her choice. She has the upper hand. The typical roles of the romance have been reversed. She is in charge.

Caroline never loses her agency here. She gets to get a taste of what it means to be not the pawn in the chess game but the Queen. And she can’t forget that. She can’t forget how it feels to not be jealous, or insecure and to be someone’s dream. She can’t forget how it is to dream the impossible and to have someone assure you that it is in your reach and simply by existing being the prime example that is showing you that he is telling the truth. So she starts dreaming of all the what ifs.

She is however still young. She is at her beginning but the promise is still there lingering in the back side of her mind. And will remain there ready to take root and flourish when the time is right and if there is one thing immortals have in abandon that is time. And time shapes and gives the opportunity even to the more suppressed emotions to find their way out and to come rushing to the surface.

So mark my words….Perhaps one day, in a year or even in a century…however long it takes…

Seven Things About (Rewatching) Supernatural: 8x01-8x12

So yeah.  I may have taken a few days off.  Not entirely intentionally.  But hey, what could go wrong?  It’ll be easy to catch up, right?


  1. So.  Sam Winchester.  

    It’s easy to criticize the way Sam walks away from hunting – Dean certainly does – but I’m trying to look at it in context from Sam’s side.  He has, in the course of seven seasons, lost his entire family, some of them more than once.  He’s died, sacrificed himself, been to Hell, been soulless, lost his mind, and now…  Well, he hasn’t got much but himself and his brother’s car. 

    Sam has never wanted to be a hunter.  He ran away at least once as a child, went to college against his father’s wishes, only resumed hunting when the life he built was destroyed by the same forces that uprooted his family in the first place.  He’s bounced around a little on whether or not to keep going – he committed to it after his father’s death out of guilt, he tries to walk away in 5x03 in hopes of averting the Apocalypse, etc. – but ultimately as long as Dean is in the picture and the world needs saving, he’s in.

    And then, at the end of S7, Dean and Cas disappear.  Crowley steals Kevin.  And Sam makes a choice.  He fixes up the car, ditches his phones, and walks.

    It makes sense for him to do it this way. Dean criticizes him for this later – in particular, the way Sam abandoned Kevin to Crowley – but any contacts from his prior life will undermine his departure.  Whatever he might want to hold onto, leaving the life requires a clean break.

    It’s telling that when Dean confronts him on this, Sam points out that he’s only done what they always tell each other to do: move on.  Thing is, I can’t recall Dean ever saying this quite the way Sam does.  They’re mid-Lilith when Dean gets dragged to Hell, which isn’t exactly prime time for Sam to go back to school, find a partner, etc.  

    What Dean does is teach him to fix the car.  

    It’s Sam who tells Dean to have an apple pie life with Lisa at the end of S5.  For Dean, it’s a bad fit.  He tries, but he’s ill-suited to it.  Sam has projected his own desires onto Dean.  It makes sense that Sam does the thing he’d urged Dean to do because it’s what Sam wanted, and what Sam imagines is the best outcome for whichever of them is left standing.

    So it makes sense that Sam ends up where he does.  Could he have followed up on what happened to Dean and Cas given that there are no bodies to burn?  Hell yes.  Was dropping the ball with Kevin profoundly irresponsible?  And how.  Sam’s terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad decade doesn’t excuse either, but might offer perspective.  How many of us would – or could? – have stuck around when there are other options?
  2. Dean’s situation is a mirror of Sam’s, though instead of removing himself from the hunt he is thrust into a world that is nothing but the hunt.  

    Like Sam, he begins alone.  He adapts to his new surroundings.  He even meets someone new – Benny – with whom he develops an emotionally intimate relationship.  Where their paths diverge is that while Sam cuts ties, Dean clings to them.  He single-mindedly tracks Cas, which is no small feat considering that Cas doesn’t want to be found.  He insists that he will bring all three of them safely out of Purgatory.  He clings so tightly to this narrative that he refuses to believe that Cas doesn’t want to be saved, doesn’t quite listen to him, and even revises his own memory.

    It’s a study in how he and Sam are fundamentally different people.  Dean’s fear of abandonment runs deep, and his need for his loved ones is profound.  Being lost in Purgatory is one thing, but being rejected by Castiel is something he won’t even let himself process.  

    He returns to the land of the living with Benny, and also a fair amount of culture shock.  He’s been in battle mode 24/7 for months, and it takes him a while to scale back.  He struggles to process a vending machine at one point.

    So it should come as no surprise that he takes Sam’s actions as abandonment.  Anyone would be appropriately angry about Kevin, but Dean is particularly attuned to the situation.  Not only did Sam walk away from both of them, but he’s been operating under battlefield conditions with a no man left behind ethic for months.  Dean’s reaction is going to be intense, full stop. 
  3. And then there’s Castiel.  He begins the break between S7 and S8 already carrying a terrible burden of guilt: rebellion, fratricide, Leviathan, etc.  His choice to separate from Dean is practical in some respects – angels draw the wrong sort of attention – but one wonders if he’s also punishing himself with that distance. 

    Cas does not believe he is worthy of comfort or mercy.  He doesn’t deserve friends.  He decimated Heaven during a fit of super-powered hubris.  Being separated from Dean, all the while hearing his prayers?  

    Yeah.  Guilt-wallowing Cas might do that to himself.  And then feel extra bad because he’s left Dean undefended in fucking Purgatory.  Double failure.  Go team guilt.

    And then Naomi sends angels to Purgatory to rescue him – at a cost of many lives, she is careful to tell him, because let’s just layer on the guilt – and gives him a mission he doesn’t want.  That she forces on him.  That, frankly, she brutalizes him into.

    The Cas who comes back from Purgatory is more profoundly broken than we’ve seen him up until this point, and…yeah.  Then the whole Samandriel thing happens. 

    S6: Let’s lie to Dean and keep him and Sam in the dark.
    S7: Let’s get possessed, explode, have amnesia, then succumb to emotional and supernatural trauma.
    S8: Let’s get crushed by guilt over the last few seasons, and then be entirely incapable of telling Sam and Dean anything because Angel Brain Surgery.

    The bitter Cas brigade may have a point.
  4. I don’t understand the hate for Amelia Richardson.  She’s complex, she’s smart, her situation mirrors Sam’s in that she has had a major loss that is later undone, and she is made to choose.  I want better for her in the sense that it’s a bit galling that Sam abandons her twice.  I hope she’s happy.  She deserves to be happy.
  5. So.  Benny.  Dean’s relationship with Benny is intense, and parallels with Sam/Amelia in terms of emotional impact and romantic potential.  

    While Sam’s bitterness over Amy is a factor, “Citizen Fang” – 8x09 – comes after “Bitten” (8x04).  Sam’s demand that Dean choose between them isn’t just about Benny’s monster status.  Narratively speaking, Dean has to split with Benny because he’s Dean’s Amelia equivalent.  Benny represents the year spent apart, and his presence at this point is incompatible with Sam and Dean’s working relationship.

    Also, the “Are we still talking about Sam, or did you break up with someone, too?” line from 8x11?  Circumstances (Purgatory, Dean’s focus on Castiel) may have prevented a realized romance between them, but if things had been different?  Yeah.
  6. Speaking of 8x04, let me just take a moment to be enthusiastic about it from a craft perspective.  It’s one of the show’s marvelous break-from-format eps, and I love it.   
  7. Charlie Bradbury is the best ever.  Like, no shit she’s Queen of Moondoor.  No shit she’s got it goin’ on.  I love her journey in 8x11 from “OH HELL NO” to Winchester ally.  And hey, Dean needs more queer friends.  She’s a good influence, damn it.

Bonus Thing: Yeah, Missouri Was A Border State, But WTF.  The Tomb of the Unknown Confederate Soldier is in Biloxi.  Which is in Mississippi.  That’s twice now MO has subbed for a Gulf state (the other time being Cape Girardeau’s thriving crab industry).

Bonus Thing #2: Fuck yeah Kevin and Linda Tran.  I didn’t have enough room above to say this in context, but I fucking love them.  

Bonus Thing #3: Dean Winchester Is The Most Fearsome Handmaiden Ever 

Originally posted by seeyouinfiveyearsdean

Fucking inspirational. 

anonymous asked:

I have a question... How has Felicity grown this season? Her standing up for herself isn't anything new... so how has she grown?

I tried so hard to keep this short, but it took a life of its own. I’ve shortened it, lengthened it, and then shortened it again.  So, Anon, I’m sorry for the length and thebit of rambling. It was written somewhat in a stream of conscience.

When I look at a character and how they’ve developed, I’mlooking to see that they’ve become multi-dimensional (versus onedimensional).   I’m looking at how important the character is to the story line, the different traits that define this character and how these traits interact, as well as how the character has changed over the course of the story.

There is more to Felicity then the fact that she stands up for herself.  Next to Oliver, Felicity is one of the most developed and well-rounded characters on Arrow.  Her growth has been consistent and steady over the course of three seasons. While at her core she remains the same (those foundational characteristics that define her), Felicity has more depth than she had when she first appeared on Arrow.  Over the last two and a half years, we’ve grown to understand why Felicity does the things she does, what motivates her, why she feels what she feels, thinks the way she thinks and more importantly her, backstory.  All of this is character depth and development.

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