would hagakure say this

DR Kids As Bo Burnham Quotes

(Some of the language and themes are a little mature, and for some of them, I don’t even know what the joke I’m trying to make is. Enjoy!)

Makoto Naegi: I’ll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to release Dunkaroos back into the market. 

Kyoko Kirigiri: I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a ‘sociopath’.

Byakuya Togami: If you like Talking, you might also enjoy Shutting Up. It’s like talking except you don’t fuck up everything all the time forever and ever. 

Junko Enoshima: Whenever I feel like my life sucks, I remember all the people less fortunate than I and it makes me laugh and I cheer up immediately. 

Mondo Owada: My mom said I can be a tough guy now if I want to. HELL YEAH!!!

Mukuro Ikusaba: I just ran over my dog with a shopping cart. April Fools! I don’t know whose dog it is!

Kiyotaka Ishimaru: If you don’t give a fuck about the law, let me hear you say fuck the police! If that seems oversimplified to you, let me hear you say it’s a really tough job and they’re doing their best!

Aoi Asahina: When life gets you down, make a comforter!

Chihiro Fujisaki: Why is there a young boy living alone down the lane? Who signed this boy’s lease? Am I the only one concerned for this little boy?

Sakura Ogami: I know it’s bad, kid. I got your back, kid.

Yasuhiro Hagakure: Art is a lie, nothing is real.

Celestia Ludenberg: Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no fucking sense make.

Leon Kuwata: There’s something about her, I just can’t describe it…tits.

Sayaka Maizono: I love all of you in a deeply vague and shallow way.

Hifumi Yamada: I wanna have a daughter…I wanna have a daughter…so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in a Pringle can!

Toko Fukawa: When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.  

Genocide Jill: Why is it that when a woman wears revealing clothing, she’s labeled a “slut”; yet if I were to wear her skin as a jacket, I’m a “murderer”?

Hajime Hinata: Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

Chiaki Nanami: I know very little about anything, but what I do know is that if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.

Nagito Komaeda: I masturbate ‘cause I’m the only one whose standards are low enough to FUCK ME.

Akane Owari: I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated.

Kazuichi Soda: Good girl in a straw hat with her arms out in a cornfield….that is a scarecrow. I thought it was a human woman. Sorry.

Sonia Nevermind: Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn’t be a dick?

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu: I can’t grow a beard. That one’s not ironic, that one’s just…sad.

Peko Pekoyama: The world is not funny. We are all dying. The world is not funny. 12% of the world’s population does not have access to clean drinking water. The world is not funny. Guy Fieri owns two functioning restaurants. The world is not funny. 

Gundham Tanaka: You’re afraid of sharks? Really? They don’t even have bones! They have cartilage. Are you afraid of ears too?

Ibuki Mioda: I met a homeless man named Rich. He wasn’t. Isn’t that terrible?

Nekomaru Nidai: Be brave. Be yourself. Never change. Never learn. Never take any criticism. Die alone. Go to heaven. Don’t let god tell you shit.

Hiyoko Saionji: Hey, if you guys are having a good time, make some silence!

Twogami (SHSL Imposter): We think you’ve changed, bro. We know best. You suck.

Mikan Tsumiki: Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Teruteru Hanamura: I saw a gorgeous……………..dick. 

Mahiru Koizumi: You think your dick is a gift, I promise it’s not!

superduperandyeah  asked:

For Kirigiri's birthday, Hagakure would probably give her a free reading, saying that birthdays are a very special day to the stars. When he's done, he'd let her know that, against all her expectations for all the way she's put herself at risk during her career, she's going to live a long and healthy life.

I like the long and healthy life part

How the 78th class would sing Never Say Never
  • Hagakure: Reality slips far away
  • Yamada: fiction comes alive, we start to play it
  • Mondo: hope is no more behind a closed door
  • Sayaka: as we drift away from where we were before
  • Junko: hope and hopelessness become one
  • Chihiro: it's all meaningless, we've already begun
  • Naegi: yup we are all one in the same
  • Toko: never opposites, we play the same game
  • Ishimaru: so I listen to the world, know right from wrong
  • Sakura: stay focused, so I can stay strong
  • Mukuro: if you ever wonder why I'm trapped inside
  • Celestia: it's probably just because I told a pack of lies
  • Asahina: maybe it's a dream, maybe it's a pride
  • Togami: maybe for myself, I often wonder why?
  • Leon: until our very last breath
  • Kirigiri: we're running after life, trying to beat death