worth my weight

When I started losing weight I noticed people started talking to me or being nicer to me and that my husband started being more affectionate towards me.

I would lay in bed and think “fuck man, people didn’t like me before because I was fat” and I would feel bad. The kind of bad that you feel in your bones, it makes your body ache. I didn’t like to think my worth was directly tied to my weight.

What I’ve come to realize is that it’s me. I’m nicer, im more approachable,I’m in better moods, I smile. People want to talk to me because I want to talk to people. My husband is more affectionate with me because I’m more affectionate with him.

They weren’t measuring my worth by my weight. I was :/

2

I’m really happy and proud of my weight loss journey so far.

I struggle with weight and having this shirt fit me is amazing.

Left: photo of me last year. The shirt would not button up. Fat on deck.
Right: Current. Fits and buttons up all the way 😋

3

awkward angles but cute snapchat filters Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ  SORRY ANUSHKA THIS ISNT POKEMON

❖I was tagged by *breathes in*: @doekyum , @s-cooooouuuuuuuuuups , @dopekwan , @cooliodolio , @hughosh , @jinssmolgf , @monsterkactus , @gyuberry , @cutiepatoodie , @jiminsheight , @squishywooji , @hoshinoyas , @huijunnie , @say-the-name-mounteen , @kookhao , @oh-hoshit , @prince-minghao , @minqyew , @woozisvt , @coconut-coups , @vertsuki , @17sexual , @httpxseventeen , @maplebaekhyun , @so-taebby , @jungkie , @rachellwik​ , @nyhvc , & @eseucoups for tha selfie tag, thank you guys!❖

hmm im gonna tag some friends: @coupscoffee @jamless-for-life @radicalwoo @jeonghelp@you-aint-got-no-feel !! of course dont feel obligated to do this C:

A History of Tumblr, In Living Stereotypes

The Honest American

Kentucky born and Kentucky bred. Pro-gun, pro-military, pro-cop, anti-libtards. I’m married to a beautiful army vet who’s one of the few real men left. I’m a stay at home mom and proud of it. If you’re easily offended you’d best leave. 

The College Student 

just a rad babe from Portland Oregon :) I’m an aspiring witch but only on the side. Currently majoring in English and hope to be a high school teacher some day! Soft feminism and social justice, and maybe a little veganism ~ 

The SJW 

read my before you follow first. My name’s Gem and I’m a demigirl lesbian, and proud of it! Don’t have any time for TERFs, racists, homophobes, transphobes, or men :) 

The Edgelord

Anti-niggerphobia, pro-trannie rights, pro Kebab. I’m worth my weight in shekels and just as many in keks.

The Teenage Libertarian

Upper-middle class and white, and not ashamed. Anti political correctness, anti laziness, pro personal responsibility. Passionate scholar of Ayn Rand - the freer the market, the freer the people. 

The Cultured European

English nationalist, modern imperialism, monarchism, traditionalism. I also post classical art as well as natural law and ethics. Diligently opposed to the Arab colonization of Europe. 

The Palestinian 

Remembering the Nakba, no matter the odds. Our people will not stand the Israeli genocide and a thousand more feet march in protest every day. I am not anti-Semitic, just anti-Israel and the cultural invasion of our land.  الله اكبر. 

The Israeli 

Ashkenazi Jew. Jewish-American living in Israel, the only civilized land in Asia. We will not stand for another Holocaust and Israel has the right to do whatever it must to prevent this. I’m not against Arabs, I just support a Jewish Israel.

The Communist 

Not a tankie. Soft DPRK sympathizer. Anti-capitalist, anti-western, pro third-worldism. Anti-revisionist and any other bourgeois pigs masquerading as leftists. Only the purest praxis and discourse.  ☭

The Neetsoc

卐 1488 卐 Anti-cultural Marxism, anti-Eurabia, white pride, white nationalism, no time for traitors. Zionist capitalism is the greatest threat to western civilization. 

The Fedora

Atheist, libertarian socialist, freethinker. Anti-theist and critical of everything. I support marijuana legalization passionately, and might also post about heavy metal on the side. No time for conservatards. 

and last, but not least… 

The Moderate 

Proud centrist, anti-extremists of all kinds. Too liberal for conservatives and too conservative for liberals. I like to think of myself as open-minded and have positions on both the left and right. 

When I started losing weight I noticed people started talking to me or being nicer to me and that my husband started being more affectionate towards me.

I would lay in bed and think “fuck man, people didn’t like me before because I was fat” and I would feel bad. The kind of bad that you feel in your bones, it makes your body ache. I didn’t like to think my worth was directly tied to my weight.

What I’ve come to realize is that it’s me. I’m nicer, im more approachable,I’m in better moods, I smile. People want to talk to me because I want to talk to people. My husband is more affectionate with me because I’m more affectionate with him.

They weren’t measuring my worth by my weight. I was :/

tw: emotional abuse, fat-hate

I’m currently 112.4kg - that’s 247.8 pounds. Funnily enough, I am the happiest I have ever been. This is thanks to fat acceptance blogs, body-positive blogs etc. and working through my depression and anxiety. I no longer measure my worth by my weight or body shape or appearance. I am the most confident I have ever been, at 23 years old, and 112.4 kilograms. Do I feel a little winded after physical exertion? Yes, but that’s literally the only “health” issue I have now. 

However, this isn’t good enough for my mother. She is convinced I’m days away from Type 2 diabetes. She hates my body and is ashamed to have a fat daughter. She often comments on the size of my behind - calling it “a bumblebee ass”, and saying I look “disgraceful” and “disgusting” in any slightly fitted clothing. It is important to note that whilst there is some history of diabetes in my family - not in any recent generations, mind you - I have never shown a single symptom of diabetes, or pre-diabetes. I don’t have high blood pressure. But my mother won’t let up.

She never lets up. I have come to recognise, through talking with my psychologist, that she is being incredibly emotionally abusive. I know it could be worse, but that is not the point. The point is that I am living with an incredibly unsupportive person, and I cannot leave. I only just got a new job - my first job in 5 years - and I’m on a casual probationary period. As such, I don’t have the money to leave home. So every day, I have no choice but to endure my mother’s venomous commentary.

Next week, she is insisting I join her in a visit to our GP, to see if she can “put me” on some medication that “diabetics use to lose weight”. I am being coerced. I don’t want to go, but I will. Our GP has been consistently kind to me in the past, and I trust her. I don’t trust my mum - she’s been socialised to shame me, to hate my fat. My GP has never shown signs of such bigotry. If I do end up having blood tests, and they show that I do have health problems, I can and will work on them. But I refuse to fall victim to my mother’s fear-mongering and fat-panic.

I don’t quite know where I wanted to go with this submission, but I know there will be some people out there who can relate to my situation. I needed an outlet. What it comes down to is that my mother is convinced I have a serious health problem purely because I am fat. It’s exhausting and upsetting, and it shouldn’t have to be like this.

[I also want to thank TITP for helping me become a more confident young fat woman.]