#transformationtuesday Honestly I sort of don’t even know what to write. I just can’t even believe that’s what I looked like a year and a half ago. I have such a hard time identifying with the person in that photo. I wish I had the courage to come out sooner and save that guy some serious existential stress but I had so many protective layers I had developed over the years to peel back to learn how to be able to be honest with myself again. It’s so much more than looking a certain way, my soul feels alive again in a way it hasn’t since I was 10. Be true to yourself. Believe in yourself. Don’t live your life in fear of people’s opinions of you. Nobody’s opinion is worth forcing yourself into and living inside of a reality that doesn’t make sense to you. And most of all, surround yourself with people that love you for you. They’re the people worth keeping around.
Maybe your fears are true and you are needy. So what? Who isn’t? We all need something. We need a hand, a hug, someone to tell us they care. We need love and affection. We need reminding of our value sometimes. Don’t hold back because you’re afraid of being too much for someone. Friends are supposed to help carry the load on your back. And if they make you feel like a burden for needing someone to lighten the weight, are they really worth keeping around?
Wait. Why are all memories, sad or happy? Why aren't there just bleak memories devoid of feelings? I think there should be more memories, than just bad and good.
There are, most memories are passionless drivel; mere information. This is all the boring stuff that forms the structures of the khert. It’s the very ground being walked on, the piled peaks and swirling mountains in the background. It’s only the poignantly positive or negative impressions that congeal and become entities or wriggle back into reality. Everything else is a vet appointment or a nap or the sixty-seventh time you walked down the block for a few strawberry fish from your local bodega.
Everyone wants to live forever. Everyone wants their mind preserved deep down into eternity. But the sad truth is almost none of us have anything particularly valuable and worth keeping around. We’re all a series of mediocre events, barely worth settling to the bottom of eternity and forming the floor.
Of course Duane believes differently. He thinks every second is precious and irreplaceable. Each moment of every life is a pebble that forms the long pathway to God.
The Three Caballeros have been doing pretty well for themselves in the
past few years. Viva Navidad has been a Christmas tradition at
California Adventure for the past three years, they have their own event
at Epcot, they starred in a recent Mickey Mouse short, and they were
even trending for on Facebook for a minute! And they’ve actually had a
bit of merch going around. Freakin’ incredible! I’m glad that Disney has
decided they are worth keeping around, even if Jose quit smoking and
Panchito might not have the last name of Pistoles anymore.
not to sound full of myself or anything but ppl who get mad at you or try and make you feel bad because you’re to busy to hang out with them every weekend because you’re in school/working/trying get your shit together/etc like…..aren’t true friends who want to see you succeed and probably aren’t worth keeping around.
Fic where, upon Vaderkin realizing that Luke is his son he obsessively stalks Luke’s exploits and thereby comes to the discovery that this Reckless Smol would be dead or worse multiple times over (along with the Alderaniaan princess, who seems to be almost as much of a trouble magnet as his child) without the intervention of the Corellian smuggler Han Solo, who is jokingly referred to as “Skywalker and Organa’s Bodyguard” by various Rebel personnel. Perhaps Solo would be worth keeping around after he has acquired his son. You can never have too many safeguards after all.
We have a character suffering through severe PTSD from many traumatic events over the course of the show...
And that character is going to die because they cant handle everything going on in their life right now and they're going to find out their friend doesn't think their life is worth keeping around anyway
Kels. When someone said they have feelings for you but doesn't want to have relationship or ldr, yet they keep on flirting and making plans/promises.
Ah, anyone who doesn’t want to commit to you isn’t worth keeping around. It sounds like they want to have their cake and eat it too. It would be different if you two were working towards that, but that’s unfair to you
To say he’s unimpressed with Severa’s childish outburst may be an understatement. So too would it be to say he’s annoyed. This girl has done what was expected of her, yet she expects praise? For what, a mediocre job done any Risen could do?
“Do you think you’re special, little brat?” Grima rises to his feet, maroon hues darkening, fixing his piercing gaze on her. “You’re nothing but a shining example of failure. A nuisance, and entirely disposable!” Every insult the Fell God slings, shadows crawl from his aura, cloaking the environment. It’s not worth keeping this one around, far too irritating to deal with.
Perhaps, once he’s done torturing her, he’ll be in a better mood.
I love Timothy Lawrence and it really concerns me that we don’t know what happens to him after the Pre-Sequel. I was thinking the other day about what he says to Jack when Jack orders him to shoot that last Lost Legion guy near the end of the game. It’s been implied that Hyperion is keeping tabs on what Tim says, and he clearly defied orders and I wondered why they didn’t immediately detonate the bomb in his face. Then I realized: he was right next to the vault. My sad theory is that they let him finish the job of defeating the vault monster (or figured he’d already die trying), and then after the shit hit the fan with Jack, they decided Tim wasn’t worth keeping around anymore. :(
Hey there! What I meant: you're mostly into older series, right? (Me too!) So I was kind of wondering what you think about popular shojo series these days, like what they lack, etc.
Ahh okay, I get what you mean now. :D That’s a difficult question! So this got pretty long, I’m sorry
The usual disclaimer: I don’t believe that manga (or fiction in general) has gotten inherently worse since the 70s. The usual pitfalls still apply: we only remember what has already gone through a historical selection process and deemed “worth keeping around”; the works we experience at a young age or as a teenager leave a larger impression both because we are more excitable and because we have less to compare them to; I’m no longer in the target demographic for regular shojo*, meaning they’re not for me, and that’s okay; I also do not read that much current shojo so I’m probably not the best to judge; etc.
Having said that, if shojo (and shonen, really) seems less interesting today than it did through the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s, it’s probably because of the market. The 60s and 70s were an age of growth for shojo manga: female artists entered the industry and widened the scope of what shojo manga (and, by extension, shonen manga) could be about, and since the genre was still relatively new, there were themes and genres to be explored, innovations to be made, and techniques to be invented. The industry was growing (the baby boomers were children and teens at this time), so new magazines were established to meet the high demand, giving ample opportunity for young, up and coming talents to innovate as much as they pleased without being hampered by the old guard. It’s really no coincidence that the year 24 group emerged in this era, and with the innovative new shojo manga of the late 70s, a new audience for shojo manga also emerged: men. The world’s biggest amateur comics convention, Japan’s Comic Market, was established by people who really, really liked Hagio Moto,** and shojo manga gained acceptance as “worthy” of otaku interest as well as academic interest.
80s shojo rode on that wave, and because women who had grown up reading shojo manga entered the work force (they didn’t all grow up to become good housewives and smart mothers now), the themes and possibilities of shojo expanded again: sex and careers became major themes, obviously, and it’s during this time that ladies and young ladies (usually referred to as “josei” in English-language fandom) split away from shojo. Japan had entered into a bubble economy by the mid-80s, everyone seemed to have ridiculous amounts of money, so new magazines were still being established and there was breathing room for non-mainstream magazines*** like Hana to Yume and Lala to run shojo manga that wasn’t focused on romance and still have them gain massive popularity, as well as mainstream magazines to run series like Banana Fish. If you have the money, and your magazine’s readership is big enough to sustain niche stories and innovative art, you can take a gamble!
The trend of manga being massively popular and the industry having loads of money continued about halfway into the 90s, then crashed. Both Weekly Shonen Jump and Ribon had their record-breaking circulations in the mid-90s (6.53 million for Jump, 2.55 million for Ribon), and has not been able to reach those standards since (neither has any other Japanese magazine, really). Reason? Well, the usual, like games and later the internet and other types of entertainment taking over so much market share, and because the decades following the economic crash meant people had less money for entertainment in general. But also because Japan plainly does not have the amount of children it once did. Birth rates have dropped dramatically since WW2, obviously, but they have also dropped steadily since the mid-70s. Schools have been closed down, and school buildings that used to house 10 classes per year have closed off the majority of their classrooms because there just aren’t enough kids. No kids, not enough people to buy manga, magazines folding, less profit for publishers, less pages for manga writers, less need for new manga artists, less innovation.
The way shonen manga dealt with this was to have longer and longer series. Dragon Ball’s number of volumes used to seem ridiculous, as Jump forced Toriyama to draw even when he no longer wanted to, but Dragon Ball is “only” 42 volumes. Naruto is 72 volumes, while One Piece is 78 volumes and still going. Once a magazine has a popular property, it refuses to let it go, even more so now than back in the 70s/80s/90s – because if you lost that one property, who knew if you could win over that big of a demographic ever again? Whereas in the past, it was more of a given that the manga industry was growing and magazines and tankobon would continue to sell.
I think the same is true for shojo, except most shojo magazines are monthly or bi-weekly at best, so the volume numbers don’t pile up so fast. Skip Beat has been going on for 13 years! It’s 36 volumes long! Kimi ni todoke has been running for 10 years! Both of those titles are (in my opinion) dragging on unnecessarily just because they’re popular, not because the plot couldn’t have ended 10 or even 20 volumes ago. It used to be almost unheard-of that shojo manga ran for so long; 10 volumes used to be a lot and 20 used to be more than enough even for a bi-weekly series. The exceptions would be stuff like Tokimeki Tonight (actually 3 separate stories), Glass Mask (an exception to shojo rules in all ways), or Patalliro! (comedy which could theoretically go on forever). I firmly believe this is killing innovation and causing a drop in quality. Less magazines mean less pages mean less of a chance for new artists or new innovations to get through the needle’s eye; less economic stability means clinging to the same old thing because better the devil you know.
So, basically, the manga scene is like current Hollywood! Reboots and sequels galore, because they want economic security rather than innovation. That doesn’t (necessarily) mean that the new titles are bad (I don’t think Skip Beat and Kimi ni todoke are bad, just way past their sell-by date), it just means that (paradoxically!) I find old titles more interesting and worth exploring.
Wow, I hope that diatribe answered your question. I’m sure this probably wasn’t what you were looking for, wah! But basically, it’s not that I think new manga is bad. And there’s still innovation being done, usually in the more niche magazines that go beyond demographics like shonen, shojo, seinen, or ladies; I’m thinking of magazines like ITAN (Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju) or Beam (Emma, Thermae Romae, Imuri, Wandering Son). But mainstream shojo manga, I feel, is definitely more boring to me.
* As opposed to shojo for grown women, which is also a thing. ** I’ve seen some people on tumblr imply Comic Market was established by a Hagio Moto fan club, so this means women created it, but that’s false. These people were male Hagio fans. *** At the time. I know Hana to Yume and (especially) Lala are huge sellers today, but their target demographic is traditionally nerdy and niche.
There comes a point when you begin to realize someone you’re friends with is causing you more harm than good.
Maybe they make you feel bad about yourself. Maybe they thrive off of drama (that you SO do not need right now). Maybe you see the way they treat others badly. Maybe they talk shit behind your back, or about others to you, giving you a good idea that they’re probably saying things about you to other people.
Whatever you’re reasoning is, if you think someone is a bad friend and you know it isn’t worth keeping them around, here’s what you gotta do: get rid of them.
Okay, okay, so it doesn’t seem that simple. But the thing is…it kind of is.
I had a friend, let’s call her Samantha. Samantha and I were close friends for a number of years, and for the most part we got along great. We had our squabbles and little fights, but nothing too detrimental. However, as time went on, I began to pick up on little things and the more I noticed, the seemingly worse they got. She would make little comments to bring me down (with the excuse of “I’m just being honest!”…okay, but if I ask you if I’m ugly, and you say no, but then tell me all my physical flaws regardless, I’m going to feel pretty bad) or get mad at me out of nowhere, and not tell me what I’d done. I would hear from mutual friends that she was talking about me, and when I’d confront her about it she would lie to my face. She got angry all the time, upset about nothing. Left me out if she had the chance, manipulate others when I’d get in fights with other friends because she really, truly thrived off of drama, even if it wasn’t her own. She always wanted to be on top - wanted to be better than me, just because of her own insecurities.
I put up with Samantha for years. I’d always end up apologizing even when I’d know I hadn’t done anything wrong, because I didn’t like to fight. I tried yelling at her, but that never worked, I tried talking to her nicely and that didn’t work. Nothing worked. And all I would do is dread being around her, and have to pretend everything was alright in order not to cause myself any more stress about it.
But eventually, it just really got to me. I thought about all the horrible things she’d done, how badly she would try to make me feel, and how much of a truly terrible, selfish, manipulative friend she really was. And I’m not going to lie… I snapped.
So one day, I said enough is enough, and I told her I was done with her and could no longer be her friend. She hit me with every insult or jab that she could, but I didn’t care anymore. I’d figured her out. And I knew I would soon be free of her.
In this same span of time, I got rid of a lot of very toxic people around me. I was left with maybe 2 or 3 really good friends I could trust. At first it felt lonely and I almost missed having a big group of friends even if I was miserable when they were around. But I really thought about it, and as cliche as it sounds, I would so much rather have a few good friends, than a bunch of fake ones.
Sometimes you have to put yourself first. We’re kind of taught not to at times, that we shouldn’t be selfish. But with your relationships with other people, if they’re not making you feel good and aren’t benefiting you in anyway, it’s time to be selfish. It’s time to say, you know what, I matter more than what you make me feel sometimes.
It’s hard. it’s hard to say goodbye to a friend you shared some good memories with. But in the end, it is so worth it. It’s freeing. You feel like you can breathe again, like you’ve cleaned out all the dirt and muck you were covered in.
If there’s someone you know like this, do yourself a favor and step away. If I’ve learned anything in my 22 years of life so far, it’s that people don’t change. And if they do, it’s not because you wanted them to. You cannot make anyone change. They have to want to.
So say goodbye to those shitty friends, and find people who make you feel as good, if not better, of a person as you are.