worth every pennie

✨Pro Hoe Tips✨

1. Drink water with every meal, and between each meal. Hydration does wonders for your entire body.
2. Get yourself on a proper sleep schedule. Its easier to grind when you’re well rested.
3. Airspun translucent powder (Walgreens, $7) bakes ya makeup to the gods. Your shit won’t move for the entire day. Kiss ya fallout goodbye.
4. Brands like BH Cosmetics, Makeup Revolution, NYX, ELF, Essence, and Maybelline are all relatively cheap, good quality makeup brands for that last-all-night look
5. Dressing in neutrals like nudes, whites, blacks, and greys generally make your outfit choices easier to mix and match, without all the hustle of finding something to wear. Plus you’ll look like a fuckin baddie
6. Let your eyebrows grow, for the love of God. Castor oil and coconut make ya eyebrows and lashes grow thick and long, and ABH Brow Whiz is the shit for long lasting, natural looking brows. Seriously worth every penny.
7. Eat fresh fruit and stay away from processed sweets for a healthy, fresh smelling/tasting pussy
8. Roll non scented deodorant onto your pussy after you shave to avoid any razor bumps or ingrown hairs (DO NOT PUT NEAR YOUR ACTUAL VULVA, JUST THE OUTSIDE PORTION)
9. Make ya blowjobs wet, sloppy, and be sure to make eye contact as ya lick it. He’ll be putty in your hands
10. Coconut oil hoes👏👏👋 good for scars, stretch marks, cellulite, dry skin, you name it
11. Be sure to find your actual skin type, and look up ingredients in products that help according to your skin type. For example, skin products with salicylic acid help normal/oily skin, while glycolic acid helps dryer, aged skin.
12. Products and moisterizers with urea and ammonium lactate can help clear your keratosis pilaris (KP, the little bumps on your arms/legs/ass/cleavage)
13. Exercise regularly, and change up your workouts every couple of months to keep your body challenged
14. Never send your face in nudes. Make your nudes unidentifiable, in case you encounter a fuckboy who leaks them because hes an asshole. Protect yourself girl.
15. Always keep an extra change of clothes in your car, in case of an accident, dress code violation, or fashion emergency
16. Keep ya grades up, get a job, and make your own money so you don’t have to be financially dependent on some fuckboy.
17. Keep your cuticles moisturized for stronger, healthier nails (especially when wearing acrylics)
18. Take biotin pills to boost hair and nail growth, healthy skin, and kickstart metabolism.
19. Take selfies and nudes at all times to boost that body confidence. Snapchat has a password protected “My Eyes Only” option in Memories that you can hide these in if you’re shy.
20. Literally just worry about you babygirl stay unbothered

Thats all for now hoes✨✨

Attention spoonies who are heat intolerant! (Or anybody else effected by heat)

This stuff is pure magic, you spray it on your face a couple of times or in the air around you and it instantly cools you down, doesn’t effect my makeup as a bonus. It’s a fiver in boots but might be cheaper elsewhere, it’s saving me this summer so worth every penny

Edit: might also be good for people experiencing hot flushes/menopause

Happy Black Friday! The day of the year where people get into fistfights over inexpensive televisions and free toasters. I actually used to work at Best Buy in the computer department. I was just a high school computer nerd trying to explain to people what megahertz and megabyte meant. They warned us about Black Friday. They told us what to expect. I was not ready. No one was ready.

We prepared like soldiers before a battle. Our boss gave a rousing speech encouraging all the troops in blue & khaki. There was this computer called eMachines. It was constructed by the devil himself. It was a giant piece of shit more likely to break down than open your email. But it was cheap. Both in cost and in construction. Just holding one in your arms you could feel the terribleness. As if it had an aura of crap surrounding it.

The people rushed in like a crazed mob. Yelling “Do you still have any eMachines??!!” I felt I was honor bound to tell people not to buy them. I begged them, “spend a few hundred more and get a real computer.” No one listened. No one cared. They had “low price fever” and it turned them into Christmas shopping zombies.

A dirty secret that Best Buy fails to keep hidden is that they don’t give a crap about the money they make from computers. All they care about is the Performance Service Plans. 3 year extended warranties. In the biz we called them PSPs for short. We’d keep track of how many plans we sold behind the counter. They made it like a competition for all the sales people. And if you didn’t sell enough they would pull you aside and give you the business. Some bosses would yell, others would pull a grandma and be “very disappointed in you.”

Somehow, some way, we were supposed to convince this angry mob that their computers needed a PSP. Sometimes I felt conflicted about selling these extended warranties. You already get a one year manufacturer’s warranty and if anything is going to break, it is usually in the first year. But these eMachines were literally garbage and I actually felt like the PSP might be a good idea for this horde of nincompoops. But they were all in a rush to buy their thing and get to the next crazy deal. I was not able to convince them of much.

After Christmas was over, those eMachines started coming back to the store. One by one people brought their broken PCs to the repair window. A few with disappointed children at their hip. “Why did Santa bring us a broken computer?” Some yelled at us for selling them crap. In my head I was like, “I tried to warn you dipshit!” But out loud I just apologized and took the blame.

A year passes and we reconvene at our pre-Friday battle meeting. They announce the new item that will attract the shopping zombie masses. It’s a printer. A… free… printer. With rebate, of course. (People don’t know it, but 80% of folks don’t ever send in their rebate and printer manufacturers make all their money on ink anyway.) Was this a good printer? No. No it was not. It was a tiny, noisy, slow, ink guzzling monster made from the cheapest, most flimsy plastic imaginable. The sample printouts were awful and laid so much ink on the page that it wrinkled the paper. Next to this printer was the HP 722c. A marvel of printer engineering. Fast and economical. Built like a tank. And one of the first printers to give truly photo quality results. It was worth every penny and would probably save you money in ink over that free piece of crap.

They all still got the free piece of crap. And when we ran out of the crap, people were like, “Where is the crap?” And we were like, “You didn’t get here at the ass crack of dawn. What do you expect?” And they were like, “What’s the next crappiest thing you have?”

It soon became clear to me. On Black Friday no one wants anything of value to gift their loved ones. They just want the crappiest thing that will technically check off that box on their list. And that is what Christmas is all about.


In Motion (M) | 01

Character / Genre / words: Jeon Jungkook x reader (with POV switches) | Smut, Mature scenes, Masturbation Club!au | 7,721 words

➼ Summary: The rule is simple - you can look but you can’t touch. You’ve been attending the event for a few times but it was only when a certain boy arrives at one occasion did you feel the fire of lust burning inside

➼ Warning: exhibitionism, public display of masturbations, graphic smut scenes, mutual masturbations, mentions/use of sex toys, language

➼ Warning 2.0: this is only the beginning

➼ a/n: This is a revamped/edited version. I have decided to not scrap the whole thing when there is no scenes or plots being changed in the process. Feel free to reread this chapter before the next chapter is out. More story fillers will be added in the upcoming chapters.

➼ Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03

Keep reading


“I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.”Cheryl Strayed, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail

Thank you to the wonderful and talented @laskulls for drawing my lovely son, Thelrand, as he would appear in DA:4. I love your rendition of the sentinel armor while still keeping the characteristic that make it recognizable. I love the details on the armor and the sword with how translucent it is. And the hair! So pretty! I couldn’t be more happier with the result! <3

One Cup of Coffee

Request: Hiii, can u write one where y/n is famous and she goes on a interview with Dacre and they start flirting?

Warnings: Swearing (c’mon guys), fluffy fluff.

Song to Listen to: “Your Text” Sundial


Originally posted by dacremontgomery

You smoothed down your Alexander McQueen pantsuit and you couldn’t help but think how utterly ridiculous you looked. 

You’ve always loved press junkets, but to say you were burnt out would be an understatement. The tour for your latest film, “Times Like These,” had continued to be extended purely based on the hype. 

To be honest, when you began as an actress, you didn’t see yourself doing a romantic film like “Times Like These.” You’d originally come to fame by being cast as Aquagirl in the “Justice League” sequels. Your pension for surfing and swimming had made you perfect for the role… and working with Jason Momoa had been a huge plus to you signing on. 

But “Times Like These” was not on your list… until you read the script. It was about two neighbors falling in love in the midst of Civil War while fighting for separate sides. Once you picked it up, you couldn’t put it down, especially considering it was told from the point of view from a female soldier undercover. 

“How you doing Y/N? Too early for this shit right?” Your “Times Like These” co-star Joe Keery saddled up next to you and plopped in his press chair. 

Your schedule was booked hour on hour with interviews. You were even supposed to run to the downstairs of the hotel in a bit to do a superhero panel that you never remembered saying “yes” to.

“I need coffee so bad, Joe, I might kill someone.” You moaned, yet again adjusting your jumpsuit. Why? Why was this thing so damn uncomfortable? You silently cursed your stylist for making you look so amazing but feel so… not amazing. 

“Remind me not to chide you too much during the interview.” He took a swig from a thermos next to him. 

“Oi! Keery! Is that coffee?” You practically lunged across him to get it. 

He held it above his head the way an older brother might would, which made sense as that was how you viewed him. 

“I will give you coffee if you give me Y/BFF/N’s number.”You shook your head– of course

“I will give you her number when you give me Dacre’s!”

This argument had taken place pretty much every day since Joe had met your best friend. She had visited on set and needless to say, he was windswept. He would coyly try to bring her up in conversation… never outwardly admitting that he was smitten, but you could read through the lines. 

You, on the other hand, had been pretty open about your crush on Dacre. Joe eventually had given in, saying he would wingman if you would. 

He brought down the thermos and handed it to you, “You’re in luck Y/N, he’s on your superhero panel.” 

You choked on the coffee and nearly ruined your jumpsuit. 

Before you could come up with a rebuttal, the first interviewer showed up and you had to go to work. 


Your publicist grabbed you and told you to run. 

You were already 15 minutes late for your superhero panel and apparently the moderator and a crowd of 400 people were waiting downstairs as part of a super secret VIP panel. 

Sweating profusely, you found yourself standing in a holding room surrounded by all of the best super hero portrayers… Tom Holland from Spiderman, Brianna Hildebrand from Deadpool, and of course, Dacre Montgomery. 

The panel organizer rounded everyone up and gave you an incredibly stern look. 

“Don’t worry, literally none of us want to go out there.” An Australian accent teased in your ear. Your blood froze before turning to look at Dacre. Before you could respond, you were ushered on stage. 

You waved and smiled wide for all of the fans, but you honestly were losing your mind after you figured out you’d be sitting next to Dacre. You took your stools and he offered you a bottle of water. You were going to say thank you before the moderator started firing off questions. 

There were the normal ones, “How important is it to be a female superhero?” “What is it like to work with Robert Downey Jr.?” and the like. 

Finally the moderator came to you- “Y/N, you’ve not only portrayed Aquagirl, but you’re also portrayed a female soldier in the newest buzz-worthy flick, “Times Like These”, were you nervous about making the transition from action to emotion and how were the movies different?”

“Uh, well, I think it was a good transition,” you began, “ With action you still have consider emotion, and when it came to “Times Like These” it was really easy to tap into those tough emotions when you’re working with someone like Joe Keery. Haha, I guess that’s how the movies are different… working with a massive team of characters as opposed to working with just one person.”

Dacre chimed in unannounced, “I can vouch, for those who are super excited for “Times Like These,” it’s worth every penny. Joe is okay… but Y/N is incredible.”

Applause erupted and you put your hand on Dacre’s knee lightly, pushing your comfort-zone a bit. 

The moderator turned it to him: “Dacre, you’ve worked with Y/N’s co-star Joe Keery… is there an actor or actress you’re dying to work with?”

He pretended to think for a moment before giving you a wink that only you could see. 

“Honestly, Y/N. Joe’s a good friend and he would always say how much of a diva she is and I’d love to find out for myself!” He laughed and the audience did as well, “But for real I’ve heard she’s super easy to act with, and from what I’ve seen she’s ridiculously talented. So I’m in.”

The panel wrapped up with a few of the normal questions, and soon enough you were being led back off into the holding room. 

Before any one could get to him, you made sure to run over to Dacre. 

“Dacre, thanks for those nice answers out there, you didn’t have to say those things.”

He smiled, a glint hitting his eye at just the right time. God, he made you melt, “I meant every word.”

You licked your lips, trying not to be creepy. “Well, thanks.”

You turned to leave before he caught your arm. You swung back, ending up closer to him than you meant to. You could smell his cologne, which was simple, but still heavenly. 

“This may be forward, but a little birdy mentioned you might fancy me?”

You were going to kill Joe. Well, at least you would drag on a little longer about giving him Y/BFF/N’s number. 

“Is this bird named Joe Keery?”

“Oh yeah that bloke couldn’t keep his mouth shut if you paid him.”

“Fucking. Fantastic.”

He moved his hand from your shoulder down to your hand. He looked down, a little bashful. 

“Look, no pressure, I’m just wondering if you would like to get one cup of coffee?”

You fit your hand more snugly in his. 

“Of course… I love coffee.”

The Ultimate Slytherin Quilt

It’s done.  Actually, it’s been done for weeks, it’s just too big (100″ x 116″) to take a picture of in my house, so we did it tonight in my husband’s photography studio.  

The sky behind the manor is snow-dyed by hand by yours truly.  I drew and then pieced the manor and the grounds using Cynthia England’s Picture Piecing technique.  I also used that technique for the peacock’s body, and then I couched eyelash yarn for the tail (over and over and over), as well as creating flounces for the dimensional feathers (look closely!  It’s 3D!).  The bottom M, crossed wands, vines, and ivy, I drew and then appliqued.  The crest feathers of the peacock as well as the Malfoy M are embellished with Swarovski HotFix crystals.  The picture doesn’t really do it justice; they never really photograph right…but they sparkle plenty.  I like to think of them as understated bling.

I designed the blocks for the piecing in the big borders with EQ5 quilting software and yes, I had to design every single one, 12″ x 12″, 12″ x 15″ and 12″ x 18.”  The software mostly make the geometry of a quilt like this easy.  The corner blocks are called Hunter’s Star, for those of you who are not quilters, the pieces for which were cut on an Accuquilt GO!Baby.  I drafted the Edwardian script for the four Slytherin traits, cut out each, and appliqued them on using silver metallic thread (Superior–expensive, but worth every penny) using a 90/14 topstitch needle (huge needle, huge eye).  

I drafted the Old English letters for the banner, cut each of those, and appliqued them on, after I had hand dip-dyed the ends of each piece to get the illusion of depth (also used black and gray pieces in the banner to enhance that as well).  The snake was also done with the picture piecing technique and has 1,200 pieces in it.  Lastly, I quilted the entire thing on a HandiQuilter Infinity 26.  I rented time on a machine 90 minutes from my house and she was nice enough to let me close up on the last night, at 2:30 in the morning.  I got home at 4 and saw 3 opossums, 2 deer, and a raccoon on what I can only describe as a dicey ride back.

The name of the quilt?  “Bad Faith.”  It’s going to be shown next week in our local show.  I hope to show it nationally, of course, but for now it’s in our own Guild Show.  After I show it, I’m not sure what its fate will be.  More pics: