worth a pretty penny

Stay Calm: 6 Things That Could Explain Why Your Landlord Is Still Asking You For Rent After You Painted A Portrait Of Him And Left It On His Porch

Before you start panicking, consider these completely plausible explanations as to why your landlord is still asking you for rent, even after you painted a portrait of him and left it on his porch.

1. Your landlord thought the portrait was a mirror: Rather than jump to conclusions, just think this through. If your landlord knew that you painted a portrait of him and left it on his porch, there’s no way he’d still be charging you rent, so it’s possible he thought the painting you left him was actually a mirror. Maybe the portrait was such an accurate representation of him that when he saw it, he assumed someone had just left a mirror on his porch, which would in no way affect whether or not you would still be charged rent. Crazier things have happened!

2. He couldn’t tell the portrait was a painting of him because he’s lost a ton of weight since you last saw him: Another perfectly reasonable scenario is that your landlord went on the detox of a lifetime and shed something like 80 pounds, in which case he’s probably formed a healthy disassociation with images of his old, heavy self. He probably saw your portrait and thought, “Who is the giant landlord depicted here?” and then threw it in the garbage. Surely if he recognized it as being himself in the painting, he wouldn’t still be charging you rent, so it could be worth heading back to your landlord’s house to see if he’s become extraordinarily thin.

3. The portrait was stolen by art dealers: The explanation might be as simple as a gang of art dealers scooping up the portrait off the porch before your landlord even saw it. Give yourself some credit: You put a ton of work into that painting, and surely it would be worth a pretty penny on the market. So before you conclude that your landlord is ignoring your beautiful portrait, it’s worth checking online to see if it has surfaced in any art bidding wars.

4. Your landlord has become incredibly sick, so he hasn’t left his house: If your landlord has been holed up inside because he has a terrible disease, that would explain everything. Of course, if he knew you painted a portrait of him and left it on his porch, you’d be living rent-free by now, so consider circling back to his house and leaning the portrait up against his window. That way, if he’s quarantined in there, he’ll be able to get a good look at it, notice it’s a portrait of himself, and realize he’s made a mistake.

5. A storm swept up your portrait and carried it into a nearby sewer: This scenario would be a real gut punch, but it absolutely could have happened. If you didn’t remember to tape the portrait to the porch railing or put rocks on top of the canvas to weigh it down, a passing storm could have swept up the painting of your landlord and sent it right down a sewer drain. Think about calling the city and asking them to send someone out to check all the nearby sewers before assuming the worst.

6. He’s a two-portrait landlord: For some landlords, one portrait of themselves just isn’t enough to permanently square away rent with a tenant. If your landlord’s like that, it’s not the end of the world. All you have to do is whip up another portrait of him and leave it on his porch. Once he has the second painting, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be in the clear with rent from here on out.

Journalist of Justice!Izuku tho:

“I can’t fight a villain but I can point the heroes to where they are!" 

  • is painfully normal, absolutely cannot fight a villain 1 on 1
  • knows how to sneak into practically anything because he’s analyzed where the weak points in a villain’s defenses are 
  • has a connection and informant network that spans the entire city because he still helps EVERYONE that he comes across and they like to keep in contact with him 
  • villains don’t generally think he’s a threat because "what can a quirkless person do??? They’re useless" 
  • Izuku just relentless in his hero journalism, is absolutely determined to help EVERYONE in the city by calling out the wrongdoings to those with the power to do something 
  • has taken down a crime ring once because he gave the police all the proof they needed to call in the heroes (he got SUCH GOOD QUOTES)
  • knows absolutely every single hero because all of them have to save him at some point either because he’s getting kidnapped or is the hostage or he’s in the middle of a fight between heroes and villains trying to get a good pic 
  • his camera skills are LEGENDARY - Izuku is now desensitized to being in danger because he’s Used to It™ 
  • he’ll just be asking the villain with the knife up to his throat "so you’ve said that your goal is to destroy the mall, but why this particular one” like he’s asking about the weather 
  • Izuku CAN defend himself but chooses not to 60% of the time because getting pics of the heroes and villains in action are worth a pretty penny (and his hero worship hasn’t actually decreased so he wants to see them look cool but he always feels a little guilty afterwards)
  • he’s not afraid to call out heroes of they’re being shit heads 
  • Endeavor hates his guts and has tried multiple times to sue him for slander or defamation of character, but Izuku has made friends with powerful lawyers and they’re able to cut down Endeavor like a hot knife through butter 
  • Todoroki is his greatest source of Endeavor discourse and they have lunch every Tuesday to just talk heroics 
  • Izuku still calls Bakugou “Kacchan” while in his hero costume and now half of all media refer to him as “The Hero Kacchan” instead of his real Hero Name and Bakugou LITERALLY cannot forgive Izuku for this because “DAMNIT I HAVE A FUCKING HERO NAME SO USE IT”
  • Ochako and Tsuyu love him and are honestly the ones that rescue him the most so they have some of the best press around
  • Iida complains about being paraphrased so often but if Izuku didn’t then it would be enough to fill the article by itself
  • He still fainted when first meeting All Might and every single article Izuku has written about him has been trashed because it’s not actual hero journalism, it’s 100% fanboy mania and his editor can’t publish it
  • his editor is Shinsou and is always Suffering™ pls Midoriya cool it
  • Let Mama Inko Rest 2kAlways

Izuku would 100% be the Lois Lane of the BNHA world admit it

BONUS:

  • “Shigaraki Tomura, can you tell me why you became a villain?” “Why aren’t you scared of me?” “I’m sorry, but I just came back from another kidnapping with a villain who has a Fear Quirk, I’m a little out of fear right now.” 
  • “Kurogiri-san, what’s it like to be the caretaker of one of the most high profile villains of the current century?” *is blatantly ignoring Shigaraki’s tantrum in the background* “No comment.”
Soul Wings

Pairing: Balthazar x Reader
Word count: 1,676
Warnings: Violence. Mentions of blood. A bit of angst. A bit of fluff
Authors Note:  I have three notes for this one 1) I did this story as a combined challenge and request response since the request fit into the challenge nicely and 2) It seems to be a 50/50 split on what color Balthazar’s wings are in the fandom. I went with my personal favorite. 3) I am going to be honest and admit I don’t like this story at all. I’ve sat here for over an hour debating on deleting it because it just isn’t what I want it to be. I’m 100% in love with this challenge prompt and I don’t think I did it justice. I’m hoping I’m just being hard on myself and you all like it.   I feel like Balthazar is severely out of character.  I don’t know.  Just be honest in your feedback please and I apologize if it’s total shit.
Challenge:  This was written for @murdochinthetardis’s Six-Hundredth Follower Supernatural Soulmate Special. My prompt was “You grow wings when you reach a certain age that match your soulmate’s”
Request: (Anonymous) Yes! Requests open! Can you do a Balthazar x reader, soul mate Angel wing thing, angst damsel in distress huntress thing hunting with the boys lol love you!

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kigichi  asked:

He really should. Fifty bucks for a five minute stare. A few hundred to touch it (with an added twenty for every grope) and if they want to get past the pants barrier it will cost them a pretty penny. His butt is worth it.

A pretty penny for a pretty tush.

Pepper in charge of this business surely. All transactions are final.

LMAO

anonymous asked:

#121 don't waste your time on him. Rucas or Joshaya, you pick

Alright, here you go! Let me know what you think, send me requests, share it if you like it, etc.

send me requests

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“This can’t continue, Josh.”

“I promise it was the last time.”

“Okay.”

That was three months ago, and yet here they were, Riley glaring at him like he was the devil, and Lucas attempting to hide a smile while Maya ranted about yet another ruined date. He knew it was wrong to ruin Maya’s dates, of course he knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help the surge of pride as she began to recount the events of the night.

“So I’m sitting here at the restaurant and Adam is really nice, and everything is going great,” Josh had to hold back an eye roll; Maya had looked bored out of her mind, he’d saved her really. “And the waiter walks up - I swear I recognized him, I just don’t know where from.” Of course she recognized him, Josh thought to himself, You’ve met him, his name is Nick, he lives in my dorm. “And within ten seconds, the waiter spills water all over Adam’s shirt so he’s soaked. But he’s still being a good sport.”

Good sport, Josh choked back a laugh, earning an even bigger glare from his niece and a pitying look from Lucas, The guy was doing everything he could not to throw a tantrum at the table. “So we order our food and things are going okay - that is until the same waiter accidentally spilled someone else’s food on Adam.”

Josh was having a harder and harder time not laughing, Nick had really earned his money’s worth. “And then, our food comes out, and my meal was perfect, but Adam’s was completely wrong.” That had cost Josh a pretty penny, but it’d been worth it to watch another date of Maya’s go up in flames, even if it was from behind a menu in the back corner of the restaurant.

“I just don’t get it,” Maya looked down and for a moment Josh thought she might cry - Shit, did I go too far? He started to worry until she looked back up, dry eyes showing more frustration than anything. Relief flooded his system, though underneath that he knew that he was pushing the limits, he knew it had almost gone too far. He also knew Riley was going to kill him after this conversation.

“I guess it was just the universe showing me that we weren’t meant for each other, right Riles? That’s gotta be what it is.” “I’m sure that’s what it is, Peaches.” Riley was getting better at keeping this a secret, which made Josh feel even worse about the situation. She shouldn’t have to lie to her best friend for you.

“Well I say you drop him. Don’t waste your time on him, Maya.” Maya rolled her eyes, ignoring Josh’s input. “Don’t butt in, Boing, this has nothing to do with you.” Maya’s words were hurtful - had she completely forgotten about their deal? What happened to Someday?

“I’m going to shower,” she announced, clearly annoyed, and Josh knew the second she left his life would be in danger. “I’ll be heading out.” The two awkwardly looked at each other. “Bye, Josh, it was good seeing you too.” “Yeah, yeah, for sure,” he answered, waiting until she was out of earshot to murmur, “By the way I’m in love with you.”

He turned to leave, praying for a quick and easy exit, only to meet a glaring Riley with Lucas blocking the door. “Josh you can’t keep doing this.” he sighed, he knew he couldn’t, he knew it wasn’t funny and it was problematic, and he knew he was in dangerous territory. “I can’t help it, Riles, I love her, I can’t just watch her date other guys. It’s been three years, but I still remember the ski lodge, she promised me someday.” Riley groaned, “You and someday, Josh we’re seniors in high school, you’re in college, this is ridiculous.” She paused, glaring at him again, a skill she’d honed over the years until it was more frightening than her mother’s. “Josh if you don’t stop, I’ll tell her.” He nodded, “Okay.”

Like hell, I’ll just be sneakier. He grabbed his jacket. “I really do need to leave though. Riley rolled her eyes. “Goodbye, Josh. I love you even when you’re a dweeb.” He walked over to the door where Lucas was standing, giving him a silent nod as he left, until he felt his phone buzz in his pocket - a text from Lucas.

Friar: My advice, wait until Riley’s out of town. Give it a couple weeks. I’ll try to keep people from asking her out.

Josh smirked, Lucas was a good guy and had become a helpful assistant. His phone buzzed again, and this time he had to laugh.

Friar: By the way, how much did tonight cost you? I’m already plotting for when Riley dumps me for being involved with this.

It might be sneaky, but he couldn’t help it. He had to protect someday. 

Sea Above, Stars Below (AU)

@rezragnarok

They belonged to the sea, both of them did, to long away from the sea and either of them would die. Haru’ul had no idea why Blaine insisted on wondering the land so offend. The shoal needed their protection. It was their duty, and Blaine was the eldest. His brother was inconsiderate ignoring the reef to play on land with the humans. 

Blaine loves the adventure humans provide. They invent the craziest things, and believe the wildest tales. Haru’ul called him lazy walking their streets. Although, Haru’ul was always the one off drowning sailors for being to close to his hunting grounds. It was Haru’ul’s fault the locals believed stories of monsters below the surface of the water. The rumors themselves were dangerous, but with a few choice words Blaine could put more foundation to the rumors or destroy them entirely. It was hard keeping the balance between fear and disbelief, but Blaine had done his best. 

That was until one rumor had shattered the balance he had fought to keep. 

Blaine feigns interest in hearing the man’s story. He isn’t as good as Haru’ul is at lying, but it’s enough the man thinks his interest is genuine. 

“If what you say is true,” Blaine pauses trying to enforce some disbelief both himself and others at the bar. “Where in the world does a person find a merman?” 

“I bought him from a lab.” The man sneers. “He cost me a pretty penny too. Worth it though, he’s beautiful.” 

It sounds like the horror story he remembers being told when he was a pup in an effort to keep him close to the reef.

“Yeah, right, it sounds like you bought an oversized sea monkey.” Blaine rolls his eyes. Some of the men at the bar start laughing at the remark. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t entertaining to see the man squirm in the embarrassment.  

“I’ll show you!” He says, defensively. 

“Fine, hotshot,” Blaine challenges, “But when your ‘merman’ turns out to just be a big fish I’m telling everyone in town.” 

He’ll tell everyone in town the man’s a liar regardless if the story is true or not. Blaine hopes it isn’t for the merman’s sake. He’s never heard of a merman surviving is human captivity. 

If the man is telling the truth, Blaine will need his brother’s help in freeing the captured Mer.  

2

You were out of breath and your body was flooded with adrenaline. You glanced over at Peter and the two of you burst into laughter. “Peter?” you turned to see Peter’s previous conquest and realized that you’d forgotten to drop her off. She looked dazed and dizzy and you looked back to Peter and the two of you went into another fit of laughter.

“I got rid of your whore, now, what’s the big fuss with the ball?” You asked as you came back into the Milano. “She’s not a whore.” Peter said in defense of last nights score. “You’re right, she’s not, you are.” You shot back.

“I am not a wh–”

“What’s her name?” You asked cutting off his defence. “It’s–well–damn.” You smirked and smacked him upside the head. “Told you so.” You said smugly. 

You threw yourself onto your hammock which was directly across from him. “So, the ball. What’s the deal?” You asked causing him to shrug. “Don’t know, but if Yondu wants it then you know it’s gotta be worth a pretty penny.” Peter said. The two of you stayed silent, and you were hoping to finally get some sleep when Peter spoke up once more. 

“Why didn’t we ever hook up?” Your eyes snapped open and you smiled at him trying to hide your laughter. “I’m way out of your league Quill, and you know it too.” You said he looked at you slightly offended. “I’m awesome. You just don’t know what you’re missing.” He said making you roll your eyes. 

“Yeah, well, if I change my mind I know where you live.” You said jokingly you glanced over at him to see him silently laughing to himself and smiled, he really was your best friend.

Requested by Anon

Venatore’s Tango

Part 1

Characters: Reader, Dean, Rick, Olivia

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: A long case leads to a run in with the infamous green eyed hunter, and a single dance can lead to much more

Warnings: None really, some cursing

Word count: 8k (I’m so sorry, jeezus words fly sometimes)

Tags: (At the end. I tag alot of peeps, but you are never obligated)

A/N: First I want to say that I am so very sorry. I feel completely terrible posting this so late. I don’t know the right way to go about this so I hope this is acceptable; I know it won’t be accepted for the challenges that this was for, which is 100% OK! but I have to credit the inspiration to the hosters: the wonderful @torn-and-frayed and her Season 3 song challenge for the Tango Passion and the wonderful @roxy-davenport SPN Halloween Challenge line ‘Did the monster just grab my ass?’. If you’d like me to tag this appropriately send me a message. Life took a nose dive on me since November, and is hopefully on the up after this.
I had fun writing this even if it was a pain in my ass most of the time, and I hope you like it! I also hope the dancing piece of it makes sense to anyone reading this. I tried to time it with the song, but finding one specific dance video I loved the most was hard, they are all so fun so I took most of my moves from here and here and did what I could. 
I love to hear from all of you! Your comments and likes and reblogs always make my day. I appreciate each and everyone of you even if I can’t make it around often right now to say so XOXO
THANK YOU to my awesome beta/bff for reading over this beast and the cool ass title @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid


Another fancy benefit in another town in upstate New York whose name you would most likely not remember, or see again, when this monster was finally in the books. This was the second party this week alone you’d been able to work your way into since you’d started this case three weeks ago, and you thanked your lucky stars the pool of rich, old, desperate saps looking for something pretty on their arm was plentiful around these parts.

Since you’d been here you gained two brand new expensive dresses (matching heels and purse included) and a gorgeous diamond teardrop necklace that had to be worth a pretty penny, all while managing to keep your dignity intact. You were looking forward to hocking the necklace and doing something nice for yourself with the little stack of cash as soon as this was over. That idea alone brought a smile to your face as you thought back to what you’ve done for this case so far just to get more information; the endless hours of boring conversations, the bad dancing, ass grabbing, and other miscellaneous coped feels, not to mention a few unwarranted kisses. It hadn’t all been for nothing at least.

You’d pinned down a main suspect; a black haired beauty by the name of Olivia Karalis. No one in any of the previous towns seemed to know anything about her or her history, just that she was old money and had her foot in the door with the right people. Others chalked it up to her beauty getting her where she needed to be, probably having a few dead rich husbands that left her their money.

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anonymous asked:

These kids love to dwell on net worth of these folks, neglecting to factor in the pretty penny one can earn selling your "life" in pictures and exclusives to People and USWeekly. Not everyone is willing to sell themselves like that.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼

No Time to Be Lion Around || Lukas and Roy

@younglion-swordsman asked for a starter!

“X and Y get split off from the rest of the party because of a cave-in/wall going up/floor falling out/miscellaneous FE map shenanigans.”

“It’s that marquess’ son!”

“Roy! It’s Roy’s army!”

“Don’t just stand there, you moldy-brained simpletons! A lordly boy’s worth a hefty ransom, and his weapons can sell for a pretty penny. Leave him alive, and we will demand every single coin in the coffers of Pherae!”

Sounds like trouble. Of course I couldn’t get lost in a peaceful place. He’d been hiding in this bush since he heard a pair of bandits gloating about the spoils they plundered from a trade caravan. Alone as he is, he can ill afford a fight. He’ll have to wait for this battle to blow over before he can proceed on.

The sounds of fighting and the singing of steel against steel grows ominously closer. Lukas crouches lower, lance and shield held close, as he watches a small group of brigands violently pull in a young boy with firey-red hair. He’s far younger than me. He can’t be much older than fifteen or sixteen. He is a fierce fighter, whoever he was, slashing at any brigand that got too close like a caged lion. “Took quite a bit of brainpower to split you up from those snot-nosed pals of yours. Now be a good boy, Roy, and give up the fighting!”

No matter how good of a fighter this Roy is, talent cannot make two of you. Lukas has no business being in this fight. The best decision would be to stay low, perhaps even sneak past while the brigands are preoccupied with Roy. But the idea of leaving this boy to the mercy of these terrible people… Lukas will not stand for it. He holds his lance and shield together, still low to the ground, and charges against the brigands like a bull.

The attack knocks them off their feet and to the ground. Lukas rises to full height, shield in one hand and steel lance in the other, ready for them to pick up their axes and retaliate. “I’ll help you out of here,” he says quickly to Roy. “My name is Lukas.”

Business - Part I

“Wear red. Red dress, red lips, red lingerie, the works. The client also requests, and I quote, ‘Look as expensive as you are’. The client is sending you to Yves Saint Laurent, where you will ask for René. He will assist you in finding suitable attire for the evening. All charges will be covered by the client.”

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Thief

Characters:Sam & Dean x reader (friendship/family)

Words: 1731

Summary: The reader meets the Winchester boys, and grows close with them.

Okay, this one has been in my head for a while now, maybe because I’ve been watching too much Leverage. Oh well. This is part 1, I want to do more with this. I will also turn into a Sam series! Yay for my first Sam series! Also, if you want to see what I mean by lasers (you’ll see), go to this link (it’s a video), and watch 1:10 through 1:33. Anyways, enjoy!

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The Great Sealand Takeover (1/?)

Summary: When the mysterious and very dangerous ‘Edgar’ starts moving in on Geoff’s territory, he’s not amused. He is even less amused when Edgar targets his boyfriend, Jack - forcing him to team up with mercenaries Michael and Ray to stop him. Things do not go as planned and suddenly they’re all stuck together, on the run and working to bring him down - along with Ryan, the ‘mad mercenary’ who holds a grudge against Edgar, and Gavin, a data analyst with his own secrets.

And of course, because things aren’t already complicated as hell, they just have to start falling for each other.

(slow build AH-OT6, criminal/GTA AU)

read it on AO3

Michael did not sign up for this shit.

It was all Geoff’s fault. Geoff “it’ll be so fucking easy” Ramsey, who had led him to believe that they would waltz into the hideout of this mysterious ‘Edgar’, put the fear of God into him with some well-timed explosions and the murder of a few of his henchmen, kill him if he still refused to back off Geoff’s territory, and be out of there without a scratch.

“He’s not nearly big as he thinks he is,” Geoff had informed them. “He’ll have like half a dozen guys there, you and Ray can take them out easy. We’ll have the element of surprise, too.”

The element of fucking surprise, yeah right – because the plan looked great on paper but somehow, somewhere along the line, something had gone wrong because Edgar was most definitely expecting them.

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“Hopefully this place hasn’t been picked clean yet….”

Scavengers had obviously been through there a few times, finding electrical components that still worked, valuable metals that could be melted down, and maybe everyday gadgets that needed a little work to get running again. Shells of old cars had been picked clean, right down to the leather seats. All that appeared to be left was broken parts not worth anyone’s time, things that would cost more to repair than they were worth selling. But a well-trained eye could spot the last few gems this old junkyard had to offer.

Thankfully the redhead still had one good eye, and once she had managed to slip under the old chain fence that still was supposed to keep people like her out, she put it to work. The moon overhead was full, lighting up the area enough for her to see without a flashlight and keeping her from being caught by any cop that might still have a conscience enough to keep a scavenger out. 

Though being without a second eye did leave her partially blind, and she didn’t see something sticking out of the dirt, ending up tripping over it and faceplanting into the ground with a quiet yelp. Once she had recovered from her fall, she glanced back to see a hand, her eye lighting up almost immediately. “Please be in one piece, please be in one piece” She knew exactly what this was. They were worth quite a pretty penny, even as just parts.

It took almost an hour, and far more work than the redhead had anticipated, but she had completely unearthed the machine buried below the dirt. It was nearly twice her short height, and even just sitting against the body of a destroyed old car, the machine was massive compared to her. Rust had set in, and it was in bad condition, but she was confident she could get it working. “An older model than I would have liked… but maybe someone will put you in botfights or something…. If I get you working.” Of course she knew she wasn’t going to get a response, but it helped to keep herself focused as she sat on it’s lap and opened it’s chest compartment. “Oh boy… even your wiring is old…”

Those old books and hours of research had served her well, and her small hands were the best tools she needed when it came to reconnecting the small wires that lead to his core. “They made you to last… So you SHOULD work if I just….” She trailed off as she worked, fixing connections that had been intentionally severed. Whoever had wanted this old machine dead was determined to keep him that way. 

The story of how I fell in love with you: Part 3 (last part)

TITLE: The story of how I fell in love with you

CHAPTER NUMBER/ONE SHOT: 3/3

AUTHOR : tomcuddlesfic

WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: Actor Tom

GENRE:  romance / fluff / angst

FIC SUMMARY: Annie and Tom are best friends. They help each other out with everything. So what happens when one falls for the other?

RATING: T

AUTHORS NOTES/WARNINGS: Finally finished. I would love to hear what you think. :)

Part 1 / Part 2

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