Essays in Existentialism: 100

1. Clarke looks hopeful and sad, and Lexa is unsure how someone can be both things. Hopeful despite sad. Hopeful and feeling silly for thinking such things. But she looks away and asks if they didn’t deserve more and Lexa is filled slightly with that hope, but moreso with this determination to prove Clarke correct in her hope. It is rare and it is needed. Lexa kisses her, surprises her, and kisses her and lets herself have a little hope, as foreign as it is. She feels Clarke pushed back and finally pull away and that is that.

Keep reading


Not my Gif

Today was hell, first my last customer called me a bitch and left without tipping. That’s what I get for being a waitress in Gotham, to make money out here, you gotta be evil and I simply can’t hurt anyone, so I deal with assholes to pay my rent. Finally crashing down onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“I need someone to hangout with”

Looking over at my passed out cat , I decided to get up and go somewhere. Walking out the door in my yoga pants and crop top with my big black coat, I walked to the liquor store buying myself a bottle of tequila. Walking outside the cold wind blew past me, making my legs shake. Walking down a bit I saw I was on Grundy St. So I went to see if ed was still awake. Knocking on his studio door, I could hear muffled voices. Sounded like they were arguing, the door slid open with ed popping his face out.


“hey sorry am I intruding?”

“no, never its just 2 am.”

“bad day, wanna help me make it better?”

Holding up the bottle of tequila shaking it , ed’s face looked like he was about to say no.

“I mean if you don’t wanna , ill leave.”

“only if you can answer this.”


’‘often mixed with lemon in a refreshing cold drink. You don’t eat them ever, unless your drinking this drink, what am I?”

“limes, and yes I have some.”

Ed smiled moving so I could come in, slipping past him, I could see the green lights from the billboard lighting up his kitchen.

“green suits you ed.”

He smiled, his cheeks getting red. Ed was my first friend when I moved to Gotham as a kid, we were at elementary school and a boy was kicking dirt at ed for telling riddles, running up I boot kicked the boy in the groin making him never hit puberty. Edward and I have been friends ever since, I remember the first time I called him ed, he blushed saying that “ he liked It when I called him a nickname.” sitting down on ed’s bed, crossing my legs throwing him the bag of limes.

“you cut, ill pour.”

“sounds good.”

Ed sliced the limes and I poured two shots, we clicked out glasses taking the shots back.

“what made you think to come here y/n?”

“ you always make me smile ed, I needed that.”

“what happened to your boyfriend Derek.”

Ed’s lip curled while he spoke his name.

“wells turns out I was girlfriend number 3”



Ed poured the next  shots, we went a few more without speaking. Finally ed turned to me smiling.

'i’m a form of exercise, where you have fun, some people get paid to do it, some do it for fun, what am I?“

I had to think about this one, the tequila making me a bit loopy.

’'oh oh dancing.”


Ed grabbed my hand spinning me around and landing into his chest. Picking at a remote, ed turned on the stereo where the song like im gonna lose you started to play. Ed spun me around his room, helping me keep in step with him.

“how are you able to do this drinking ed?”

“luck I guess.”

Pulling me to his chest I could hear him hum along to the song.

'i’m gonna hold you like im saying goodbye , I’m gonna love you like im gonna lose you.“

The song ended and ed, looked down at me, the tension getting greater. I could see the panic in ed’s eyes start to approach when he shouted.

’'another shot!”

Running over to his kitchen his grabbed the bottle pouring four more shots.

“four ed?”

“yea, I figured why not.”

A nervous smile spread across his face.

“one , two.”

We took them down bam, bam. Ed sat down on his bed laying back covering his face with his arm. Walking over I sat by his side.

“a terrible feeling, sometimes thought to be paranoid, but all it is, is care, mothers do it the most, but none more than me, what am I?”

Ed lifted his arm up, so I could see his eye.



He sat up, placing his hand on my knee.  

’'why did you chose Derek?”

“what does that have to do with anything ed?”


“ I don’t know ed, in his arms I felt safe. Like Gotham wasn’t outside that door.”

Ed shifted in his seat.

“we need to lighten the mood.”

Ed grabbed my bottle, that still had a good 6 shots each in it. Lifting it too his lips, he took two big gulps. Passing it to me, I copied right behind him. Next thing I know ed and I have his music blasting and are sitting on his bed going back and forth with riddles.  

“worshied once, but no belittled, some are feral and some are royal?”

Thinking I shouted the answer.

“CATS, my turn.”

“said to be myth, but bodies have been found, you will never find this creature on ground?”

“a giant squid, please y/n challenge me.”

This went on for a few moments back and forth of riddles and mad libs.

“I got one more for you y/n.”


“never been said, most likely never should, felt it since grade school and adulthood, the pain is beared to show they care. Tear after tear, they never did part, all because of a feeling from the heart.”

I was stumped, maybe it was the booze but I was about to guss when banging came from the door. Ed got up answering the banging when I could hear a man start yelling at him.

“what the fuck nygma, why is your shit so loud, not like your banging a chick right.”

I hated when people treated him like he was a little bitch, walking over I swooshed my hair around  and pulled my top down just a little so it looks like he interrupted. Walking over I dropped my arms around ed, resting my cheek on his shoulder swaying my butt side to side.

“eddy come back to bed.”

Ed’s face went bright red, glancing back from the neighbor to me. The neighbors looking more confused than embarrassed seemed to have no shame.

“who are you and how much?”

“fuck off .”

I glanced up at ed, I had never heard him be so hard with his words

“the fuck you say nygma?”

“I told you to fuck off, now are you done or is there something else you wanna bark about?”

With that he slammed the door, walking over to the bathroom he slammed the door shut. I walked over tapping the bottle against the door.

“4 more shots eddy.”

He came out of the bathroom, still red in the face but not from anger. Sitting down we took a few more swings killing the bottle.

’t-t-tttt tell me eddy , whhhere did that fuck off come fffrom?“

’'The other voice …shhhhh”

We were laying on his floor looking up at the ceiling watching the green light flicker.

“oh oh oh eddy, I know your riddle.”


“yes, its love.”

He didn’t say anything just sat propped up on his elbow, staring at me.

“you are so beautiful, you know what let’s call Derek and tell him to fuck off.”

He got this excited look on his face, running for my phone. Trying to steal my phone back he dialed Derek, jumping on the bed I heard Derek answer.

“hello y/n? , listen I’m sorry.”

“im sorry this isnt y/n.”

“who is this?”

Snatching my phone from his hand, I hung up quickly.

“what the hell?’

He just smiled at me, he fell back onto his bed patting the area next to him.

’'lay with me y/n”

Walking over I laid next to him, reaching over I took off his glasses and placed them on my face.

“look eddy ”

Giving my best dork smile, I could see his smile, the brightest smile I have ever seen. He stared at me for a moment. His hand came up to my face brushing my hair away from my neck. His face looked so gentle, like the eddy I have known for so long, no matter how evil Gotham was, eddy always stayed good.  giving him back his glasses, he placed them on the table, his hand never  leaving my chin. Looking up at him as he smiled over me, made me never want to be sober again. Ed leaned down pulling my chin up with his hand. His lips landed on mine, his kiss gentle like he wasn’t sure. Once I kissed back, he put more into it. Deepening the kiss, his hand never leaving the side of my face. Once we broke for air, he kissed my forehead before pulling the pillows down to us.

“stay the night, I don’t want you to leave.”

I snuggled closer giving him my answer. Looking up I gave him one last kiss before slipping off into sleep. Waking up to ed making coffee. He was mumbling to himself.

'what if she doesn’t remember, then let it go, tell her.“

Without saying a word, I walked over.

’'good morning ed.”

Ed jumped startled by my voice.

“good morn-”

I kissed him before he could even finish, his arms wrapped around my waist.

“I love you y/n , I always have.”

“I love you too ed.”

“can I ask you something y/n?”

“of course”

“will you be mine?”

“of course ed.”

  • Indian Women: *speak out against oppression of women and sexism*

One of the trends in the drinks industry that I’m most excited by at the moment is the ever-increasing richness of experiences that bars are building around their bars and their drinks lists. 


As consumers feel the pinch of the current economic climate, it would have been easy for small to mid sized bars to admit defeat, blaming the recession for a reduction in their weekly takings. Thankfully, this hasn’t been the case and we’ve seen a number of outlets really step up their game, innovating their way to a genuine point of difference with consumers, that has encouraged them out from under the blanket of austerity to continue spending money in bars.


We’ve seen a massive shift in the past 8 years from style bars towards bars with genuine substance- and this has been an absolute blessing for those seeking to establish new bars in these times of austerity. The focus has shifted from being seen to almost the opposite, with the rise of speakeasy style entrances and ever smaller, more intimate outlets being favored in the on trade.  Coupled to this, we’ve seen a massive increase in the use of vintage glassware, bartenders clad in bow ties and braces, Japanese hard shakes, and ever more specialized brands coming to the fore. Drinking in bars has become a more theatrical experience than it ever has been.


Experiential marketing has exploded in the past five years across the UK – with more and more brands using ever more creative methods to connect with consumers. Whilst Brands have had some good ideas, inevitably they have to partner with outlets to acquire the expertise to execute them, and this has given birth to some of the most exciting drinks experiences in London in my mind. Bompas & Parr’s collaboration with Experimental Cocktail Club for the architectural Punch Bowl on the Roof of Selfridges is one that jumps to mind, and Bompas & Parr’s Breathable Hendrick’s Gin.


Whilst the recession bolstered alcohol sales in the off trade (people staying at home) to drink instead of going out – it also sparked a large investment from both the spirits companies and the larger retailers to promote the “at home” spirits serve. A quick flick through a supermarkets’ magazine shows just how much the “make your own seasonal cocktail” message is being pushed. Diageo’s World Class competition was extended from the on trade into the off trade under the banner “The Bartenders’ Choice”


This phenomenon, as well as many other factors has forced bars to raise their game. In order to keep attracting consumers during the week and at the weekend, they need to be offering something vastly superior to what people can create for themselves at home.


What I’m delighted to see is that the bars have responded, and raised the level of what is expected from a bar again. We’ve seen innovation in Ice, Glassware, Culinary inspired drinks, even styles of service. Others have added an extra dimension and have done this through design, with theatrical entrances greeting people from the street – The wonderful ECC Chinatown is a prime example where a bar has made the best of what could have been viewed as a tough selling point of the venue.  


Bars like Purl with their theatrically inspired serves have lead the way, along with Nightjar with their intricate garnishes that look almost too good to be reproduced at volume, yet they are. Drinking in these outlets has become a real experience and the craft of the bartender has never been so celebrated.


 Worship St Whistling Shop with its sensory emporium and their Victorian inspired banquets have created quite a stir and Callooh Callay with their through the wardrobe entrance to the larger space and the Mayor of Scardey Cat Town – a bar entranced through a fridge of a Shoreditch Diner.


What all these bars have done in very different ways is bring something extra to the drinking experience that they offer consumers. As well as excellent Drinks, food and service, these bars are like portals to another world: and perhaps this is the secret of their success?


The Great South Land

Verse 1:
This is our nation, this is our land,
This is our future, this is our hope.
A land of reaping, a land of harvest,
This is our land, this is our home.

This is the Great Southland of the Holy Spirit,
A land of red dust plains and summer rains,
To this sun-burnt land we will see a flood,
And to this Great Southland His Spirit comes.

Verse 2:
This is our nation, this is our land,
This land of plenty, this land of hope.
The richest harvest is in her peoples,
We see revival, His Spirit comes. [to chorus]

Verse 3:
This is our nation, this is our land,
This lucky country, of dreams gone dry,
And to these people we see a harvest,
And to this land, revival comes. [to chorus]

From Album Hillsong “The Power Of Your Love” (1992)