worse then it seems

“Eating a gluten free diet can help with reducing symptoms of asd”

Listen… That’s not how it works.

I dug a little into the topic and I found out that intolerances for certain kinds of foods are very common among autistic people.

And gluten intolerance doesn’t always have to show through symptoms affecting your body, it can also solely show through reduced motivation, reduced ability to concentrate and increased depressive symptoms. (and thus also take away more of your spoons because you have to try even harder to stay motivated, positive and focused)

So if you’re autistic and don’t eat gluten and feel better - and seem to be “less autistic” - it’s not because not eating gluten “helps with autism” in general. It’s just that you’re probably gluten intolerant and eating gluten “amplified” your symptoms before.

(this is something that’s especially important for parents with autistic children. Eating gluten doesn’t make your child “more” autistic, not eating gluten doesn’t make your child “less” autistic. It only influences things that we already struggle with if we’re gluten intolerant, which many autistic people are.)

welp, i’m now on antidepressants again. i haven’t taken them since a teen, as a teen they made me worse. hopefully they help this time!

blood work also looked perfect, doctor seems to think i’m healthy as a horse other than my chronic migraines/sleep issues (she wants me to get an mri for them, but idk if my insurance covers it.) she also wants me to get blood work done again next month in case i do have a thyroid issue. i have to have a pelvic exam to have birth control again (i take birth control for pcos/period issues), but i’ll be getting that next week. hopefully that goes well, too.

i’m… i’m honestly shocked about my blood work results. i’ve been terrified of being at least pre-diabetic or something, since it runs in my family. but nope! not even close. i mean, i eat very healthy most of the time (especially now that i’m trying to lose weight), so i guess it shouldn’t shock me so much… it’s just my chubby weight has all that ridiculous stigma attached to it. :/ doc doesn’t seem worried at all about my weight, she just wants my migraines checked out and wants me on antidepressants. chubby, cute (ish), AND (sorta) healthy, look out plebs.

*trigger warning*

I know this is a serious matter, but I honesty don’t want to here anymore. It seems that my life is honestly falling apart. And yes, I know people have it a lot harder than me, but this year for some reason has had a huge negative effect on me. My depression has gotten a lot worse and everyday I seem to cry. My leg isn’t making anything fucking better because I can’t move it. My friends don’t trust me or believe anything I say. I don’t have the motivation to go to school or anywhere for that matter. I just feel nothing now. I’m like numb. I just don’t what to be here anymore. I know some people on here may think that I just want attention and more notes but THAT IS FAR FROM WRONG. I’ve been having this problem for almost two years. My mom called a consular and is having me go this Thursday, but I don’t want to pour my feelings to a stranger.

I just don’t want to be here anymore.

I may take off for a few days. I may not. I probably won’t because this is all I have good going for me. My rant is done. I’m sorry for stopping y'all going through your dash. Thank you for reading if you read.

i just had this really miserable conversation w my prof where i apologized profusely for my million and one absences w the implication being…my mental health is shot! and her response was very I’m Not Angry I’m Just Disappointed, which was somehow worse. she was like…you would have had an A, it seems like a silly reason to lose all these points. me, barely functioning: yes…im so sorry..yes…..im so s

I'm sad about the comments section lately

The comments on YouTube in general have been pretty bad for, well forever, but in the past couple of months the comments on Jack’s channel in particular seem to have suddenly changed for the worse.

All of the sudden, I’m seeing way more:

“Jack, why aren’t you playing X?” /“Jack, play this.”

“Legend27” and those ‘keep reading’ or giant emoji copy-pastes

“OMG YOU MADE A MISTAKE AND YOU’RE SUCH AN IDIOT!!1! YOU’RE AWFUL.”

“Please check out my channel.”/“Anyone want to sub for sub?”

“Say hi to me.”

And even gift card or contest spam.


I don’t know why, but recently there’s far less meaningful discussion about the videos, far fewer suggestions or constructive criticism without name-calling and yelling, and just generally less 'real’ interactivity. Don’t get me wrong, those good types of comments are definitely still there, it just seems like they’re no longer the majority.

Idk if it’s because the channel is bigger, because the view structure is changing, or because there’s some other demographic change on the channel. Maybe a lot of the in-depth commenter s have migrated here or just given up on the YouTube comment system altogether.

No matter the cause, it still saddens me to see the JSE comments lose some of that community vibe, become a less valuable place for real conversation and review of videos, or just (as bad as this sounds) become like 'the rest’ of YouTube where comments are a junk pit and both viewers and creators end up leaving them. Jack has always made a big effort to interact as much as humanly possible on all platforms, so I can’t see him abandoning the comments section unless there’s some massive and dramatic reason he has to. Still, I don’t want us as a community to give up on it or see it die. I hope this is just a trend I’m seeing, but if not, I hope we can work to make it better.

*staring at long list of homework/projects I’ve already committed to but haven’t worked on* maybe now’s the right time to try out Duolingo Hebrew

How to Cope with Feelings of Loneliness

1. Understand that loneliness is a feeling, and not necessarily a fact. Sometimes we feel lonely, unwanted or rejected based on wrong beliefs about ourselves and others. Often people and events acts as triggers for our feelings … and then we start to act as if they represent the truth.

2. Fight the urge to withdraw or to isolate yourself. You’ll actually feel better if you some spend time with others (but spend time with people who love you, just for “you”.)

3. Check for making assumptions, or jumping to conclusions, or skewed ways of thinking which make things seem much worse. Then, look for exceptions to balance up the picture. Don’t waste your time and energy on biased, untrue stuff.

4. Related to this, make sure you’re not attacking or putting yourself down. Try and focus on your good points, and things that you do right.

5. Work on being warm and friendly – as often other people are hiding their own feelings of insecurity. Hence, they’ll often be responsive when we are warm and friendly – and then reciprocate by being interested in us.

6. Try and find other people who share some of your interests – as that’s a natural way to form connections, or build bridges.

Anyway I’m starting my own Pokémon villain team. We’ll be Team Parroteers of course. We specialize in flying types and our logo is a giant zygodactyl footprint.

We aren’t even villains, we just always happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It started out as a bird Pokémon watching group, and a series of small clumsy disasters inadvertently puts us in the middle of some kind of region-altering event.

Every act of accidental villainy is followed by “oh geez sorry” and any attempt to fix it just seems to make it worse. Basically we’re in competition with Team Skull for least intimidating villain team.

Our team colors would be gray, yellow, and orange like Pepper. People always know we’re coming by the squawks they hear in the distance.

Like or reblog to apply to be a Parroteer Grunt. (You don’t even have to apply, we just take everyone)

Will showed up at camp one summer with a broken arm and a sprained leg. He had a lot of bruises and a huge cut that was healing on his forehead. He was probably healing from a worse injury. His mother seemed shaken up when she dropped him off. He was very quiet for a few days. From that point on, Will was a year rounder.

Everyone assumed it was a monster. Will let them. In a way, it was a monster. Will had gotten caught kissing another boy by some guys on the high school football team. Will was in the 8th grade. The guy he’d been caught with got away. He tripped Will.

Will didn’t get away.

How to Cope with Feelings of Loneliness

1. Understand that loneliness is a feeling, and not necessarily a fact. Sometimes we feel lonely, unwanted or rejected based on wrong beliefs about ourselves and others. Often people and events acts as triggers for our feelings … and then we start to act as if they represent the truth.

2. Fight the urge to withdraw or to isolate yourself. You’ll actually feel better if you some spend time with others (but spend time with people who love you, just for “you”.)

3. Check for making assumptions, or jumping to conclusions, or skewed ways of thinking which make things seem much worse. Then, look for exceptions to balance up the picture. Don’t waste your time and energy on biased, untrue stuff.

4. Related to this, make sure you’re not attacking or putting yourself down. Try and focus on your good points, and things that you do right.

5. Work on being warm and friendly – as often other people are hiding their own feelings of insecurity. Hence, they’ll often be responsive when we are warm and friendly – and then reciprocate by being interested in us.

6. Try and find other people who share some of your interests – as that’s a natural way to form connections, or build bridges.

Please don’t ignore the March for Life.

It’s on Friday and it’s important. 

It’s attended by hundreds of thousands of people, and the media seems to ignore it every single year. Or worse, they make it seem like it’s a quaint small gathering. I’ve marched. It’s not. They’ll tell you that it’s heavily attended by pro-choicers, too, and they’re wrong. The year I went I barely counted a dozen counter-protesters.

I stood at the top of Capitol Hill and looked all the way back to the horizon. The street and sidewalks were packed the entire way. Packed with balloons, and signs, and singing, and little old ladies praying, and families and young people from all walks of life. 

On Friday there’s going to be a beautiful, peaceful protest against all affronts to human life. And while most people start with abortion, it’s about so much more than that. 

Maybe there won’t be a million people yet this year. Maybe there won’t be crude hats and catchy chants. But this is a March for Women, too. This is a march for everyone.

Please don’t ignore it.

I wanna draw attention to how, like, while we’re hearing a lot of what’s been dubbed “buyer’s remorse” out of people who voted for Trump, it seems the vast majority of those people tend to be in the older age ranges while his base amongst alt-right youth and the “young Republicans” set has held incredibly strong.

Like, where the fuck is your “oh things will get better when the old gen dies off” or “Damn boomers, they’re the ones to blame for all this!”? Tying bigotry and fascist affiliation to generations of the past is just another in a long line of ways people deny the potential for a fascist resurgence in their midst, and now that we are in full swing of just such a resurgence, I want to hear an explanation for why so much of this “enlightened” generation seems just as bad or worse than its forebears.

Protective | archie andrews

Originally posted by fyeahriverdale

a/n: please please request ideas for short series or one shots!! i like to cater to you guys and sometimes you really do come up with some cool ideas!! love always R🌹

as the years went on you’d think bullying and slut shaming was a thing of the past, you were sadly mistaken. in fact it seemed to get worse and more and more creative as the times went on.

i obliviously walked into school head held higher than normal as i spot Betty and Veronica standing near my locker, smiling brightly i approach them a little bounce in my step as I over to them.

“hey”

i gawk smiling like an idiot, i had my very first date last night with one Reggie Mantle and you think it went rather well. we had a meal at pops and then went to the drive in to watch a movie where we stuffed our faces with junk food and spent the night cuddled up in the back of his truck with some small make out sessions before he dropped me home just before curfew.

I was still grinning, the gang wasn’t very thrilled with the idea of me going they said that he was a stupid football jock that just wanted to get into my pants and last night just proves that they were wrong - for once.

my smile fades as i glance at their concerned expression, i grab my books and close my locker as they glance from their phones to others loitering in the halls before first period before finally glancing at me.

“what?” i laugh glancing the hall to see many eyes on me, i spot Archie his expression the same as the girls.

“okay what the hell happened”

i ask breaking the silence, tapping my fingers against my books growing impatience at their lack of emotions and words.

“will someone please tell me what’s going on!”

i practically yell, Veronica glances at her phone again and i snatch it from her grasp as the red headed boy stops in front of us mumbling a small greeting.

i glance at the phone and see that the photo Reggie had taken off me last night in the drive in cuddle up to him, only he’d modified the picture and photoshopped maple syrup running down my face.

“oh my god” i say my breathe catching in my throat i click on the comments and instantly regret it the words ‘slut’ ‘ugly’ ‘whore’ 'attention seeking’ came up regularly along with comments about my weight and seemed liked everything else 'what a freak’ i give Veronica back her phone and sniffle tears pricking my eyes.

I look up to see Betty and Veronica staring me down

“do it say it!! okay 'i told you so’ okay I get it”

the girls shake their heads scrambling for words to comfort me

“forget it” i whisper pushing past them

“(y/n)” i hear archie call but I ignore him keeping my head down as i rush to class, everyone laughing and sharing comments as I pass.

i round the corner and slam into a body, we bump heads and i cuss grabbing my fallen bag and glances to see Jughead concern etched on his face “I saw the picture are you okay?” i sigh sniffling.

“no” i whisper

he places his hand on my shoulder rubbing it soothingly “i didn’t even do anything juggie- Archie’s and the others are just itching to tell me that they were right- again!”

“it’s okay- we know it’s not true. people believe what they want okay you-” jughead tries to soothe me running his hands up and down my arms.

“jughead” we both look up to see the smug look of Reggie

my blood boils and I shove his chest “i can’t believe you” i spit tearing up at the sight of him.

“what’s wrong baby?” he coos placing his hand tenderly on my shoulder i shudder at his touch and rip my shoulder from his grasp “don’t touch me reggie!” i warn.

he steps forward and jughead stands in front of me protectively, he laughs clapping his hands looking to his boys standing behind him “would you look at that” he howls getting up in jughead face.

“don’t even think about it” i seethe standing in front of jughead pushes at reggies chest.

as much as i wanted to cower behind juggie i knew that Reggie wouldn’t flinch punching him and the last thing i wanted was for my best friend to get punched in the face.

“oh c'mon i wasn’t going to punch your little boyfriend” he teases winking at the both of us “he’s not my boyfriend reggie- he’s my friend and i will not let some jerk bully my friends” i shout “or me for that matter”

he bites his lip pulling me into the wall pinning me down “god your hot when your angry” he whispers huskily into my neck.

“get off!!” i yell looking desperately to jughead for help but Reggies boys were holding him hostage.

“i mean it Reggie get off” i yell everyone decides to gather to watch the show, i thrash trying to get out of his grip but it’s useless.

“oh come one little (y/n) you weren’t this shy with me last night” i squirm “your fat ass wasn’t mad when I had my tongue in your mouth” he smirks and i cringe knowing that he was right.

“MANTLE” i head a loud voice

“archie” i say breathless my eyes begging for help

“let her go now” he orders edging closer

“or what andr-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence before archie ran and shoved Reggie off me and onto the floor.

grabbing me by the waist and pulling me into his arms

“so this is your boyfriend?” he howls “Andrews and (y/l/n) nice, I mean Arch buddy you could do way better she’s not much of a 10” he chuckles the group agreeing with him

“you okay” he whispers i nod “im okay now” i smile at him

“hate to break up the love fest but she’s mine archie, her face might not be all that but boy is her body”

the group whistles as they look me up and down taking in every once of me, i felt disgusted and disappointed that I ever thought Reggie was more than a jock with a good body.

the moment didn’t last as reggie grabbed me and shoved me into jughead, that flicks a switch in archie as he punches the boy in the jaw they wrestle around punching other and i yell for them to stop jughead holding me back.

the teachers are alerted and rush over to separate the boys as soon as Archie’s pulled back i run over to him placing my hands on his cheeks examining his face.

“arch” i say sadly glancing at his bruised eye and split lip.

“Andrews, Mantle my office NOW”

//

“i can’t believe the fought over you!” Ronnie squeals helping me zip up the back of my cheerleading uniform “swoon!” she finishes skipping over to Betty.

“it wasn’t over me, reggie was being an ass and Archie was just being a good friend” i conclude pulling my hair into a half up half down look adding blue ribbon for school spirt.

“have you spoke to him since it happened?” Betty asks sitting in front of me worry filling her voice.

“no, he had detention at lunch” she nods and i feel guilty “he came to see me after school but i just wanted to be alone. ill see him tonight” i try and smile knowing that Reggie would also be at the game.

Veronica touches up my face with a little makeup before the three of us head to school for the pep rally, my mood lifts a little football games were a ritual for me. i loved cheering with B & V and watching Archie play. Often we managed to drag Jughead and Kevin to the games to watch us all tonight that was one of those nights.

we meet the squad in the change rooms and grab our poms poms getting ready to go out onto the field to get the crowd pumped

“you will speak with him before the game right?” Veronica asks me worried, i nod following the girls out onto the field “promise”

“WOOHOO GO THE BULLDOGS” we cheer running and flipping out onto the field hyping the crowd up i spot jughead in the crowd and i jog over to him when Cheryl isn’t looking

“juggie!” i yell catching his attention “have you seen arch?” as the words leave my mouth the bulldogs run through the banner Archie leading the pack with a huge black eye. i glance at him guilty, he doesn’t see me searching through the crowd of river vixen. “ill talk to you later” i tell him he smiles frustrated giving me the 'I know your not okay’ stare.

i jog over to the drinks table where Archie stand his back facing me, i approach place my hand on his shoulder causing him to spin around relief flooding his expression as he realises it’s me.

“oh thank god it thought you weren’t here and i know you love the games and I didn’t want you to not come because of reggie and-” i cut him off placing my hand on his cheek touching the purpleness around his eyes gently.

“oh arch” he’s hand shots up to touch mine “im so sorry” i tell him tearing up

“hey it’s okay-” and just like that he’s swept up onto the field with all the others “arch” i call out trying to get he’s attention.

“hey it’s okay” i feel Betty’s hand on my shoulder “we gotta get ready” i nod turning to face her following her back to the squad getting ready to perform

//

the game finished miserable as the win was taken away from us in the last 5 minutes, the bulldogs look dull as they exit the field heading to the locker rooms. i sigh and grab my bag walking after the boys i needed to speak with Archie.

“(y/n)” i hear jughead call, choosing to ignore him i walk faster hoping to catch archie before he got into the locker room

“hey!” he yells panting as he catching up to me “ignore me much?” i roll my eyes

“i need to talk with archie okay? now are walking me or not?” i stop glancing at him “fine but yes i am because i swear to god if reggie lays a finger on you” i roll my eyes pulling him behind me

“yeah yeah you’ll kill him”

i push through the crowd of half naked boys as they undress ready to hit the showers, i struggle to find the boy before i spot the familiar red mop of hair. i weave in and out of the crowd before i edge closer to him.

he mustn’t of seen me because he turned and crash into me losing his towel in the process, jughead covers my eyes as Archie scrambles to re adjust his towel “(y/n) jughead what are you doing-”

i put my finger on his lips silencing him “let me talk please” i tell him, gaining the attention of everyone in the locker room.

i realise now why Jughead thought this was a bad idea

“look im sorry about today- your eye you losing the captain spot- you shouldn’t have gotten involved Archie it wasn’t your fight! you warned me and i didn’t listen and now your in trouble with your dad and the principal and you have a busted lip and a black eye all because of that freaking jerk!” i yell tearing up feeling stupid

“I know how much football meant to you, you need it to get into college to study your music and i completely ruined it for you because of a stupid stupid idea to prove a point!”

i run my fingers through my hair a few tears falling down my face, i wipe them as quickly as they fall Archie looks defeated not knowing what to say

“(y/n)-” he steps forward but stops as loud clapping fills the locker room

“what a speech” i growl facing Reggie

“oh go fuck yourself Reggie, haven’t you ruined enough lives today!” he smirks leaning against the locker his towel hanging low off his hips.

he reaches out to brush my hair behind my ear and Archie moves in front of me but i clasp my arm around his bicep “he isn’t worth it” i spit tugging Archie toward me.

“did i tell you how good you looked in that uniform” he licks his lips “that mini skirt, it’s like your begging for someone to kiss you, you look in desperate need let me help you princess”

he attempts to walk over to me but i extend my hand to his chest playing with him

“you know reg your right, i do really need a kiss” i tell him pulling my bottom lip with my teeth and fiddling with the bottom of my skirt fluttering my lashes.

i can see Archie adjusting his towel all the boys seem to be getting rather bothered by my act, Reggie steps forward reaching out to grab my waist but i spin grabbing the back of Archie’s neck and pulling him in for a kiss, jumping up to wrap my legs around his waist.

i deepen the kiss cheers from his team mates fill the air, i break away breathless kissing him once more before Archie sets me back down.

“much better” i sigh glances at a very frustrated Reggie “oh and reg you might wanna take a cold shower for junior” i tug at his towel leaving him completely naked before peeking Archie on the lips.

“see you outside”

he blushes scratching the back of his neck as he watches me walk out with jughead, i bite my lip swinging my hips feeling confident as i wait outside the locker room

“wow” jughead exclaims pacing back and fourth as the rest of our friends spot us and walk over to us, i roll my eyes at him grabbing his jacket to stop the pacing.

“hey” i greet the girls

“Pop’s?” Betty asks

we nod “yeah of course!”

“okay well lets go im sure archie can catch up” Veronica smiles grabbing my arm

“oh ill just wait for him we’ll meet you there!” they narrow their eyes jughead refusing to make eye contact not wanting to be interrogated.

“uh i haven’t spoken to him yet so i can do it on my way over before we met yous” they share glances with each other before nodding at my story.

“okay fine, jughead are you going to escort your ladies” he rolls his eyes pushing off the wall as the girls loop their arms with his and heading toward our favourite hang out.

the boys start exiting the locker room glancing at me as i wait fiddling with my hair and avoiding all eye contact. standing up to reggie wasn’t all that and but he whole makeout session could’ve been prevented but i was feeling epic.

“(y/n)? where are the others?” i glance up at the voice smiling at the red headed boy

i suddenly feel nervous my knees wobbling and my cheeks heating up at my name coming out of his mouth.

“uh they um- they are going to pops- i um told them that we’d yanno met them there” i finishes awkwardly glancing at my feet as I scuff them.

“that is if you want to go- if not i can just walk myself-” he smiles shaking his head at me “no no i wanna come” “good” i smile and with that we set off to Pop’s silence filling the air.

we reach the diner and i stop spoting our friends in the booth next to the window, Archie notices and stops turning to face me “you okay?” i nod

“im sorry about what happened before” i blurt worried that i misread Archie’s feelings toward me. nervousness washes over me and my smile slips from my lips.

“hey hey- no don’t be- it was amazing, your amazing” he finishes grabbing my hips and tugging me toward him.

“if im not mistaking is mr Archie Andrews finally making the first move?” i hint playful playing with his shirt, he laughs playfully placing his soft lips on me and closing the small gap between our bodies.

“you know Reg was right about the whole cheerleader outfit” i raise my eyebrows “hot as hell”

i kiss him back before lacing my hands with his and pulling him into the diner walking over to our friends sliding in next to Jughead as Archie takes the seat next to me siting closer then usual he drapes his arm across the back of the booth touching my shoulder soothingly.

“okay what the hell happened in the locker room?” Veronica asks sipping her milkshake.

“oh they had a huge make out session infringed of reggie it was intense should’ve been there” jughead spills earning a smack up side the head from Archie

“dude?”

i blush covering my face and leaning into Archie, i peer through my fingers and see the two girls staring intensely at m “what!” i complain giggling.

the group fall into a fit of laughter and i smile up at Archie as he tightens his grip around my waist making me feel safe.

this is where I belong.

Experience

Originally posted by seungcheofine

MATURE

Warnings: Public, daddy!kink, over stimulation, spanking, underage drinking.

Bass shakes the foundation of the fraternity house as students mill about the living room, red cups in hand. Some awful remix of an even worse pop song drowns out any and all conversation but no one seems to mind. The goal of the party is to let loose after the stress of finals and as your eyes sweep over the dance floor, you note that plenty of people are doing just that.

“I see you guys are letting the kids off their leash for the night,” you note to Jeonghan as the two of you observe the party from your spot atop the kitchen island. “Good for them. They deserve some fun,” you laugh as you catch sight of two of the pledges helping another in a keg stand.

Jeonghan rolls his eyes as he reaches for the bottle of vodka behind you. “Sure,” he hums as he refills your glasses, “I just hope they took our advice about not getting too wasted. Cleaning this place with a hangover is a bitch.”

Keep reading