I spent so many days of that summer walking in old chucks on the hot pavement with Ashley

and we sang songs that used to mean something to me, but now i can barely recall the words.

I spent so many days of that summer sitting in her family room on the purple couches while her older brother had band practice

and my cheeks would go red every time the lead singer would look at me, his olive skin glistening with sweat and his dark eyes steadier than the bloodied hand of a surgeon.

I spent so many days of that summer hanging off the arms of boys who smelled like pretentious clothing stores

and if I try hard enough, the smell of their cologne swirls around in the back of my head, blurring together their names and faces until it’s like I’m looking at mannequins in pretentious clothing stores.

I spent so many days of that summer praying it would never end, and yet here I sit, during another summer, in another town, in another state, years later.

And it did. It did end. All of it.

—  Summer 2009

What was this-


No, no, too harsh a word for his current state of mind. Maybe just anxiety- or not, since that’s still too loud for the silence that surrounds him.


Ah, that’s right. Not the best word possible, but just right for now.

That time of the year is around once more, and it didn’t really occur to him until their performance in Poland reminded him that- oh, that time of the year is round once more. It’s easy to smile and thank the fans for their well wishes, but this was his quiet time; he was enjoying his personal space scrolling through the wireless world, and the digital time keeps inching closer towards midnight.

Any time now…

It seems silly and odd that he’d be uneasy over something so common, heck, it will be his fifth time with the guys, but there’s still that awkwardness because what else are you supposed to say when someone tells you “Happy Birthday”?

“Oh, thank you very much.” Minwoo rehearsed in his head, trying not to sound too rude but it was just him saying it point-blank. And then they just settle into this silence, because-

Only Jeongmin-hyung can pull off screaming “you’re getting older, kid! Want to try some alcohol? Oh wait, you already drink it” while Kwangmin’s trying to drag him into a corner to pull some odd prank that’s so easily seen through with Youngmin laughing at the side but suddenly stopping to give a straight-faced “um, welcome to our world” and Hyunseong-hyung’s just trying to discourage Donghyun-hyung from doing something, looking so very concerned, and then Donghyun-hyung appears with his birthday cake that he said he made while Hyunseong-hyung’s screaming that it was his cake, and then they sing a fast-forwarded “Happy Birthday” song before Donghyun-hyung gets ready to smash the entire cake into his face while Hyunseong-hyung’s still screaming for him to STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Minwoo shook his head- ah, so that’s why he’s so uneasy.

He blinked as he focused on the time again, wondering when was it a minute to midnight because he’s still not ready for-


Sorry for the sudden inactivity, but life has been busy and things have been shitty. Primarily with my cat’s health, but we went to the vet today and are getting to the bottom of what’s going on with him. It seems to be treatable and not life-threatening though, so that’s a relief. Needing to medicate him also means I’m probably not going away for the next few days, so I’ll be around sooner than expected. I’m exhausted from all the stress from today though, so I probably won’t try to write until tomorrow the earliest.

However! Since I don’t owe all too much other than a couple replies and starters, if you’d like to plot a thread with me, feel free to like this post! I might be a little picky about it, but so long as I can get a vague idea of how our muses could possibly interact, I’ll send you an ask to plot something out within the next few days!


fave fics + the dead of julywhimsicule

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.