How each of the DAII companions grieves a Hawke left behind in the fade? romanced and non
Varric: His world comes to a halt. After Bartrand Hawke became like a replacement sibling, a true best friend in every sense. He’s drowning in guilt- it’s his fault, he knew the Champion should have stayed out of it- and for a long time it looks as though he might drink himself into oblivion. HIs wicked grace deck spends weeks gathering dust and once he does get the urge to write again its very dark. It takes months before he’s back to even a semblance of himself- thanks in great part to the goal of the Inquisition- but in the end going back to Kirkwall is incredibly painful.
Isabela: She’s subdued for a long time, the loss of a friend heavy in her heart. A glass is raised to the fallen champion in every port and tavern, and should she ever truly acquaire her own fleet the flagship will be named for them.
ROMANCED: The bender that follows Hawke’s death goes down in legends among sailors. In the midst of her grief Isabela is responsible for some truly epic bar fights and tavern brawls, but nothing makes the sorrow lighter. A part of her heart has crumbled- it was worse than when she lost her ship, when her mother sold her without thought, when the Arishok was calling for her blood- and there is no question that it will never heal.
Fenris: Its a true loss. Hawke was a friend- a good friend- and someone who stood up against the evil of the world with him. The world is less bright now, a little smaller, but Fenris swears to himself that he will never forget the Champion.
ROMANCED: There are a few days after Varrics letter arrived that Fenris was incandescantly angry. It had been his first experience with that level of intimacy– he had not loved as a slave, not cherished or remembered or grieved as he now did over his lover. They had been his whole heart but had not been given the chance to lay his own life down in return for theirs. But the anger cannot play bulwark against sorrow for long, and for a long time after he falls back into old -and wine fueled- habits. But if one thing can be said about Hawke it was that he was a good influence, and at the end of it Fenris carries on in his lovers name.
Anders: Its the first time he prays in a long time, but when he gets the news Anders drops to his knees and prays hard that it was painless and that Hawke is at the Makers side. The champion saved them, spared them after the greatest mistake he’d ever made, and it seems only fair that his dear friend gets the same chance at redemtion and peace the mage was given.
ROMANCED: There is no Anders to grieve for Hawke, not anymore. This last and most terrible lost sent both him and Justice over the edge, and the small hamlet he was sheltering in will never forget the time it took a squad of Templars to destroy the Vengeance demon that has destroyed the gentle healers hut.
Merrill: It’s a sad day when Merrill gets the news about her friend, and she sheds tears over it for some time. Hawke was a true friend to her when she needed it, and she prays to the Creators that they find peace. AS long as she is in Kirkwall she keeps their memory alive, and places flowers at their statue periodically.
ROMANCED:If the Eluvian was not destroyed Merrill works feverishly for days to try and repair it. Somehow the idea gets in her mind that if she can open the path she can fetch Hawke back, but in the end it is simply useless. Eventually she collapses in exhuasted grief and sobs for hours. She loved the Champion, had never imagined she could love a human to that degree, and losing them was like losing a part of herself.
Aveline: She assembles the guard and calls for a moment of silence the day after she gets the news. So many of them- including herself- owed Hawke their lives and he will be missed greatly. She also swears to herself that she watch over the remaining Hawke sibling if they live, and -though she feels odd and guilty doing it- goes to the small memorial they built from Leandra to tell the woman what happened. It feels right.
ROMANCED: The guards never mention to a soul that their Captain was absent for almost a week. Watches are maintained, complaints taken and reports filed. It’s the only kindness they can offer, and later Aveline will appreciate it. But in the moment she can only cling to what little she has left of Hawke– the smell of him distant on their pillows, the few pieces of clothing left in the mansion, the letters he’d written her over the ten years they’d been both friends and lovers. It hurts- more even than losing Wesley had- and it takes years before she can get up every morning and not reach for him first.
Sebastian: He lights a candle for them in the Starkhaven chantry every day and prays for their soul. He knows the Maker is kind, knows there is a plan, but it is hard to recognize it sometimes. He also tries to be a comfort to those friends left behind and keep the Champions memory alive in good works as Hawke did.
ROMANCED: His family, his faith, his future. All have been robbed from him and for the second in his life Sebastian purposefully walked away from the Maker. He throws himself into his city- now bereft of its princess- and in helping the Inquisition and all Hawke gave her life for. Its better than dwelling on the burning grief and anger is his gut, and he does everything he can to keep a strong face before his people. But at night he sobs for her, wishing bitterly for the comfort of a Maker that he no longer believes in and for a world were the best people were not lost.
Carver: He’s angry. He’s so angry and so sad and it has nowhere to go. So much time was wasted resenting his sibling- who he always knew loved him and protected him to the best of their ability- and now they are gone. All he has left now are the Wardens or the Templars, and even after so many years gone he wishes desperately for Bethany and his mother.
Bethany: She weeps for days after the letter arrives. Her sibling deserved better. Her family deserved better, and for a long time it takes everything she has to fight off the despair demons haunting her sleep. If she is a Warden then Aveline is a great comfort, but if she has been living as an apostate than it is harder. She can only hope that the rest of her family are safe at the Maker’s side and that someday she will see them again.