Poem Psalm by Wisława Szymborska, Polish Nobel Laurate, 1976
~ Earth/Terra: More important than homeland!!!
“Oh, the leaky boundaries of man-made states! How many clouds float past them with impunity; how much desert sand shifts from one land to another; how many mountain pebbles tumble onto foreign soil in provocative hops!
Need I mention every single bird that flies in the face of frontiers or alights on the roadblock at the border? A humble robin - still, its tail resides abroad while its beak stays home. If that weren’t enough, it won’t stop bobbing!
Among innumerable insects, I’ll single out only the ant between the border guard’s left and right boots blithely ignoring the questions "Where from?” and “Where to?”
Oh, to register in detail, at a glance, the chaos prevailing on every continent! Isn’t that a privet on the far bank smuggling its hundred-thousandth leaf across the river? And who but the octopus, with impudent long arms, would disrupt the sacred bounds of territorial waters?
And how can we talk of order overall? when the very placement of the stars leaves us doubting just what shines for whom?
Not to speak of the fog’s reprehensible drifting! And dust blowing all over the steppes as if they hadn’t been partitioned! And the voices coasting on obliging airwaves, that conspiratorial squeaking, those indecipherable mutters!
Only what is human can truly be foreign. The rest is mixed vegetation, subversive moles, and wind.“
~ Translated by Stanisław Barańczak and Clare Cavanagh
The restoration of the frescoes in the Knossos Palace by E. Gillieron and Piet de Jong at the beginning of the last century received many critics for the excessively bright colours employed, but the truth is that the final result is probably not very far from the original aspect of the paintings, created at the heart of the Minoan splendour.
This fresco is a fabulous example of early Minoan Painting, very interesting for its precise representation of the natural world without any human presence. Located in the Bath Hall -where such aquatic motifs were very suitable-, the “Fresco of the Dolphins” is an authentic masterpiece, either for its undeniable decorative value and for its remarkable effect of movement.
Author’s Note: a short chapter this time, friends :( and likely not the most interesting, but it is very important! Sorry! BUT! PCY POV! always means ~politics abound~ i didn’t have time to make this as long as i wanted, but when i come back from vacation longer chapters will abound. we’re in the meat of the story now tho! i hope you all enjoy this <3
Death becomes him, he thinks. It suits him in a way that feels as though it were tailored just for him, follows in his shadows and never really leaves the soil beneath his fingernails because it wears him. It wears him like armor and never has he found it within himself to grieve or mourn this reality. Death belongs to him, is born from him, and allows him to feel free.
Death is his armor but never his suitor, and only now, in the wake of Hero’s wide eyes and vicious tongue, is he starting to feel his control over death slip from his grasp.
After some googling and collecting ideas for the “famous autistic creators” post I realized one thing - there are a lot of autistic people out there, and have always been. That’s why “autism epidemic” is nonsense, and that’s why autism prevention or compulsory autism “cures” (like conversion therapy) are also nonsense.
Autistic people have always existed and made a huge impact on science, technology, art, culture and the entire human civilization. You cannot erase us from the history of humanity. All autistic people matter.
In the hustle and bustle of the local village the Little Girl did not have red eyes. The red tinted glasses her grandmother had gifted her did not fool the people of the village in the daylight, but this was okay, as it was not their purpose to fool the people of the village in the daylight.
The Little Girl who did not have red eyes would go to the bakery and buy a loaf of bread. The Little Girl who did not have red eyes would go to the butcher and buy a piece of meat. The Little Girl who did not have red eyes would tap her stick on the ground to see her way in and out of every stall at the marketplace, for the Little Girl who did not have red eyes, in fact, had no eyes at all.
In the dark tree tunnels of the forest the Little Girl had red eyes. The red tinted glasses her grandmother had gifted her did indeed fool the animals of the forest in the shadows of the foliage, this was fortunate, as it was their purpose to fool the animals of the forest in the shadows of the foliage.
The Little Girl who had red eyes would stumble across the bridge under which the Great Troll lived. The Little Girl who had red eyes would trip past the old oak in which the Elder Owl sat. The Little Girl who had red eyes would cautiously crawl atop the log through which the Dread Serpent slept. The Little Girl who had red eyes would pass each dangerous beast with ease through the twists of the forest path, for the Little Girl who had red eyes, in fact, had the eyes of the Red Eyed Wolf.
Of all the terrifying beasts in the forest, none were as feared as the Red Eyed Wolf, and it was the Red Eyed Wolf who was not fooled by the Little Girl with false red eyes. She saw the trickery for what it was and watched as she passed beast after beast without fear, and so the Red Eyed Wolf stood in the path of the Little Girl.
“Please allow me passage,” pleaded the Little Girl with false red eyes. “I do not walk your woods with arrogance Ms Wolf, I simply must deliver this food to my grandmother, she is old and frail you see.”
“There are safer paths around the woods child,” said the Red Eyed Wolf. “Why do you take the one known to be perilous, the one that causes you to trip and fall so?”
“The path around is too long,” said the Little Girl. “I am small and blind and cannot travel quickly, my grandmother’s food will spoil.”
“On the long path you risk spoiled food, on the short path you risk your life. I would consider your choice foolish.” The Red Eyed Wolf said after a moment of thought.
“Perhaps it is foolish Ms Wolf, but still I do it.” said the Little Girl. “I love my grandmother so and I will do you any favour you wish to have safe passage through your woods. I am not strong and I am not wise, I cannot even see, but any favour you ask of me, I will do it.”
The Red Eyed Wolf thought of the generous offer, for indeed it was generous. The Little Girl put a lot at risk for the sake of another and was willing to put herself in dept to a beast so as to continue her perilous task, and relied upon only a false pair of red eyes to protect her from all the other beasts that she passed on her journey.
The Red Eyed Wolf had watched and waited for the Great Troll to realised the trickery and leap at the Little Girl from under his bridge, but he never did. The Red Eyed Wolf had waited for the Elder Owl to grow wise to the illusion and snatch up the Little Girl in her sharp talons, but she never did. The Red Eyed Wolf had waited for the Dread Serpent to wake to the lie and gobble the Little Girl up in their large mouth, but they never did.
The Red Eyed Wolf realised that the Little Girl had most likely imagined each scenario herself, perhaps with even greater fear as she could not even see the great creatures of the forest that stories told of. The Little Girl with false red eyes was a creature of great generosity, the Red Eyed Wolf had decided, and great generosity was an invaluable treasure.
“Child, I will grant you the passage you seek,” decided the Red Eyed Wolf. “I will meet you at the forest mouth and guide you along your path that you may travel without fear of falling. I will ask one favour of you for each journey, if the favour is not paid by the journey’s end I will eat you.”
The Little Girl smiled. “I will grant you each favour without fail, I promise this.”
Each day the Little Girl with false red eyes would enter the woods, and each day the Red Eyed Wolf would guide her, a little hand nestled among soft fur as the Red Eyed Wolf warned of gnarled roots along the ground or large stones that laid in the path. As usual neither Troll nor Owl nor even Serpent bothered them on their journey, and it was as they crossed the bridge that the Red Eyed Wolf made her first request.
“Child I request you tell me, what does the Great Troll smell of?”
“The Great Troll smells of the pond Ms Wolf, of stagnant water and mossy stone.”
The Red Eyed Wolf was pleased by this. The second request of the Red Eyed Wolf on the second journey through the woods was asked as they passed the old oak.
“Child I request you tell me, what does the Elder Owl smell of?”
“The Elder Owl smells of the trees Ms Wolf, of woody bark and sweet sap.”
The Red Eyed Wolf was pleased by this. The third request of the Red Eyed Wolf on the third journey through the woods was asked as they walked along the Dread Serpent’s log.
“Child I request you tell me, what does the Dread Serpent smell of?”
“The Dread Serpent smells of the ground Ms Wolf, of long grass and fallen leaves.
The Red Eyed Wolf was pleased by this. The Red Eyed Wolf asked many more questions of the Little Girl, she asked the smell of the flowers along the end of the path, the smell of the rain on stormy days, the smell of the fungi that grew on the trees in the darkest parts of the woods.
The Little Girl with false red eyes answered every question, some with difficulty as she did not have the words, others with ease as the words came naturally off her tongue, without fail she would answer them all until she had described the scent of everything there was to smell in the woods. The Red Eyed Wolf was very impressed.
"You have the nose of a wolf.” she told her.
One day the Little Girl with the Wolf’s Nose had almost reached the end of the woods when she realised the Red Eyed Wolf had not made a single request that day, fearing some sort of trickery, the Little Girl told the Red Eyed Wolf of the smell of her home, of the smoke from the hearth and the flowers that sat outside the front window. The Red Eyed Wolf said nothing, so the Little Girl continued, describing the scents of the marketplace, she described the smells of the fresh meat and the warm bread, of the vegetables and fruits and even the people.
The end of the path was nearing and the Little Girl with the Wolf’s Nose did not stop. She described the smell of garlic on her fingers after cooking dinner and how it lingered no matter how much she scrubbed. She described the smell of her grandmother when she hugged her goodbye, the scent of barley sugar on her breath. The Little Girl talked of the scents of her past and the scents of the present and the scents she hoped to encounter in the future until she felt the sunlight on her skin and stopped, she had reached the end of the woods, and still the Red Eyed Wolf had said nothing.
“Why have you not made a request this journey? Do you intend to eat me after all?” the Little Girl with the Wolf’s Nose asked.
“I will not eat you this day,” said the Red Eyed Wolf. “Nor will I eat you any day to come, you have given me a great gift child, you have taken me on a journey through your home and your village. You have shared your life with me and shown me things I could never have imagined within and without my home in the woods.
"The truth is child I have only once left these woods and during that time I encountered a man who wished to take my fur. I escaped his trap with my life and with scars along my snout. I can hardly smell even the strongest of scents since that day, a world without smell to a wolf might as well be a world without sight to a human.”
The Little Girl understood.
The Red Eyed Wolf made no more requests of the Little Girl with the Wolf’s Nose, she had no need to as the Little Girl freely became the nose of her friend, sharing every scent she encountered with her companion who responded in kind, freely becoming the true red eyes of the Little Girl who had none.
At the mouth of the woods Sightless Girl leapt upon Scentless Wolf and two became one, one who traveled with ease and grace, one who knew the forest in every way it could be known, one who could touch and taste and hear and see and smell.
And where the path ended, so did they, once again becoming Sightless Girl and Scentless Wolf, but neither were sad at the departure.
Both Girl and Wolf had many many days to live, and they would join one another at the mouth of the woods for each and every one of them.
I drew a picture once of a blind Little Red Riding Hood with the Wolf as her guide dog so I felt like writing a story to go with it
How did I cease to become a person or cease to feel like I was a person because obviously I’ve been human all along, but how did I lose sight of that?
And I think the truth is I never actually believed I was human. Not fully. Not since as long as I can remember. How did that happen? I think because a little one having been abused and hurt there was so much of myself and my experiences that I kept secret from the people that loved me, from my parents, from my friends, from everyone except the people that hurt me and keeping the secret meant that all of the feelings, the sense of shame and guilt and the idea that it was my fault, that I was wrong and the things that people told me about myself were stuck inside, that this blackness that never got to see the light of day and because it never got to see the light of day it meant that I never got to find out that that wasn’t true. So I lived my life as if it was.
And the challenge with that I guess is that the people, me, my family, teachers, my friends could say as many nice things as they liked about me but because I believed at heart that I was a monster in a child suit pretending to be a human being, they never went through, they never kind of filtered through into me, they just stayed on the surface and then kind of whooshed away. So it felt like everything in my life that people understood about me was just window dressing, you know, it was something to hide the monster, it wasn’t real. And I went through much of my childhood believing that. And by the time I was a teenager believing I was an alien and that there was this alien that was inside of me that was making me bad, that was going to make me do something terrible.
It made perfect sense to me that I was fundamentally different to those people around me, that I was separate and I was just pretending to exist in their world. Going through your teenage years as an alien is just incredibly unusual. It was weird how I could live this double life of being able to have fun because I had fun in my teenage years as well. It wasn’t all unending badness. I was in a band, I had some mates, I wasn’t a cool kid, but I certainly got on okay. How could it be that I had the great stuff in my youth and yet I still felt like I wasn’t a human being? And I guess again it was that idea that all of this stuff was me living a lie. Living in society because where else did I live, I couldn’t find an alien planet to go and be on. So I was just living in the world but I wasn’t being myself. And I guess at university again when I was finally somewhere that I felt like I belonged but there was still this part of me that I felt like I could never show to those who said that they cared about me.
And then, imagine the day I met the doctor, the psychiatrist, by this point I was living in many worlds. I was living in a world where I thought I was being watched by cameras, there was the alien, a conspiracy, I was having visions, my emotions were all over the place and I was terrified. And I met this doctor and he was lovely. He was really reassuring. What he was saying to me was that I wasn’t bad, there wasn’t anything wrong with me, I was unwell, I was ill and that threw me a lifeline really, this idea that I had this illness that was causing all of these feelings and it just felt such an attractive concept because which would you choose? Bad, evil and dangerous to the world or you have this illness and that’s causing you to feel like you’re bad, evil and dangerous? Definitely go for the illness, even if I didn’t fully believe it.
But underneath that, underneath the idea of illness, I guess what the doctor was also saying to me very attractive, was basically saying that I was different. That I had this thing called schizophrenia,this psychotic illness, schizoaffective disorder, whatever label got attached to it at that point, that I was born different to the people around me, that my brain processed things differently, that I had different amounts of chemicals in my brain, there might be a structural abnormality, genetic vulnerability but, that I was ultimately different to my peers. That fitted with my worldview, it gave me a nice out, you know? He kind of said, yes, you are different, but it’s not your fault you are different. And that doesn’t mean you’re evil, you’re just sick. So, yes, that gave me an identity that was a lot better than the bad one, the sick one.
And over the course of the next few years I guess what happened is really strange. I guess I dropped all of the pretense that I thought I was living, the pretense of having a future, about having friends, about having a life, interests, hobbies, potential, joy, sadness.
I dropped all of those human things and became the illness. It was if the doctor gave me a way of existing in the world without being fully human because people stopped expecting things of me. They didn’t expect me to do what other people did. I didn’t expect that of myself. And the colors and the vivacity of life, with the medication, the sedation, the kind of suppression of emotions start to fall away too and my friends fell away and things that made me me fell away until I was there the schizophrenic going to day centers, hospital appointments, spending time as an inpatient and that was it. And it’s kind of weird because at the same time, it felt right, it felt like this was my place in the world. I felt comfortable in an uncomfortable way.
And the doctor also gave me tablets, they gave me tablets that said, if you take these tablets you can function out there in the world, they will control this illness this sickness in you and allow you to function as if you were a human being. And so not only did he validate the fact that I felt like I wasn’t human and I was different, he gave me a pathway to exist alongside people without having to pretend that I was. And it was beautiful and also pretty fundamentally flawed because where do you go with that? The medication effective it kind of helped me to exist and that’s what I did for awhile. I existed.
So how did I go from existing as a walking illness to being a person as I really feel like I am now? What changed?
I think initially it was other people really. I was so fortunate that
I found other people that saw more than the sickness that I felt that I was. That saw potential and hope and a future and a history. They saw sense in what I was saying when I saw nothing. And these people some of them part of the voluntary sector a network for change, some of them were my friends, people in the hearing voices group the peer support group I went to eventually my family and people kind of connected with me that didn’t fully swallow the idea that I had no future. These people helped me start to ask questions because I’d stopped asking questions. I just accepted, but they started to ask me about how I felt, how I’d reached this place , they started to ask me questions about my voices, they started to ask me questions about my history and I had no real answers to these questions except for it is like this because it is, because I’m ill, because of my genetics, because of the schizophrenia. Eventually those kind of stock answers became unsatisfying. They were obviously surface answers.
And other people’s interest in the idea that there’s something underneath it helped me to become interested too. I got exposed to other people’s journeys and in hearing about their journeys I recognized parts of myself but I saw potential for a future, not a giant potential, a raging fire or anything, just a tiny little ember of potential that I was frightened of but that over time started to get bigger and started to really provide me with impetus to search for my own answers. And I guess part of this also was getting a life, one of problems when you get stuck within the mental health system and seen as severely and enduringly mentally ill, is that life stops.
And how do you ever try and make sense of things and move forward if you are stuck in a hole and you can’t see your way out of it. If you’re comfortably stuck in a hole because it’s all you ever thought you could expect. It just doesn’t happen. And being part of hearing voices group and network for change and some other kinds of peer support stuff, it gave me a social network a community that I belong to, it helped me meet some amazing people that I thought were, oh, I was just inspired by the courageousness of everyday living with this stuff. I started to go out and do music, karaoke getting involved in artwork, volunteering and just a whole load of stuff that meant that all the things that I’d let go of when I’d become a patient, I started to grow new things around myself and become connected to things so that I was no longer just this ball of blackness, there was just more there.
And over time it’s like it started to filter through all the color all the kind of vivacity the interest all the community and it started to be that over the years I felt less evil, I felt less different from others. I found people that I was close to. And I started to find myself again as a human and to see myself as a human being worthy of being in the world like everybody else cause I already thought that other people were worth being in the world it was just myself that I thought was different. I started to feel less different. I got into work, I got a job, I fell in love all of these things and eventually I was living alongside other people not believing that I should be locked up into a box.
And then I stopped the meds. Why did I stop the meds? I guess because I’d believed I needed the medication because it was my pathway to being in the world as an ill sick dangerous person, it was the thing that allowed me to have a life. I always felt it would need that but then as I started to feel I belonged in the world and had strategies to deal with the distress that came from being in the world because actually being around things is difficult, it brings up a lot of difficult voices, intense beliefs and challenges and so I had to find ways of coping with those and as I started to find ways of coping with that I thought maybe I don’t need meds as much over the course of a few years, I withdrew and then it hit. It’s probably not a great meds story because a month later it all came flooding back, the pain, the suffering the voices the intense beliefs that people were stealing my thoughts. It was absolute chaos. And how is this a good part of the story? I guess what it really did was get me unstuck further because it revealed that inside me although I’d felt that I was fully a person
What I hadn’t noticed was that underneath all that medication and underneath the insides of me was a core sense of being bad, evil,the sense of being other and different and fundamentally broken and wrong. It was still there and coming off meds almost unleashed it so it started to take over the whole of me and whilst that was frightening and overwhelming it was also amazing because it meant that I actually saw it for the first time I actually saw it and I knew what was going on I knew the reason that I felt that way.
I got myself into therapy and did a lot of work on feeling safe in my own skin, still doing that work to this day but in doing that what’s kind of happened is that I’m now building that kind of color, building that lightness from the inside rather than just letting the world filter through.
It’s like I’m growing it and what I’m realizing is that this core of badness that I’ve always held within me isn’t a core of badness at all. It’s a shadow. A reflection of the things that people have said to me in the past that have led me to feel this way. It’s not me. It’s a reflection of them.
And what’s inside this is just a child. No child is ever bad. I believe that very very solidly.
And I guess living in this world I find really difficult, having feelings and emotions and having witnessed so many difficult things is difficult. I feel terror, I feel intense anxiety at times, and fear I feel pain and suffering in the world and also in myself, but also I feel joy and connection and belongness and inspiration and hope and all this awesome stuff as well. I feel part of something big, I feel part of the hearing voices movement which is awesome.
I guess where I’m at now is I’m not trying to push away the darkness, and the pain but rather welcome it because without that I would not be able to experience the joy. Without the darkness there wouldn’t be the colors of the light, it’s super cheesy but it’s true. And I would rather live in this world without the filter of medication and acknowledging what it is to be a person this whole mix of things. I’d rather live this life than go back to being the schizophrenic in a ball in a darkened room separate from the world.
“This core of badness that I’ve always held within me isn’t a core of badness at all. It’s a shadow. A reflection of the things that people have said to me in the past that have led me to feel this way. It’s not me. It’s a reflection of them. And what’s inside this is just a child. No child is ever bad.”
what she means:
In WALL-E, there were infants aboard the Axiom being taught by a robotic teacher. Why do they need an education if all jobs are performed by robots? If people don't do any work, is there a monetary system at all? If not, does that mean that the technology everyone has was forced upon them? And if people are so engrossed in this technology that basic face-to-face interaction is unheard of, how were those children born in the first place? Do their parents even know about them or were they to be raised by robots? Is that, then, how the adults had been raised as well? Did humans have any control over their own lives before WALL-E came on board or was everything run exclusively by the robots? What was really going on aboard the Axiom?
next up in the totally wicked halloween series is my boyfriend, jung hoseok
and i was like hmm what to make him and angel was suggested by one of you all and i was like?? um obviously this is the most pure and great option out there god bless
okay i wanna say his wings aren’t like the typical angel wings like big and arching like they’re longer and narrow and stretch out more horizontally than vertically so it almost seems more bird-like in nature and he explains that he was built for speed lmao that’s his excuse for his wings being like that
and his hair is long and black and hangs in his eyes but because he flies around so much it often gets pushed back up on his head from the wind and sometimes when he thinks that it’s getting a little too out of hand, he ties it up in a little ponytail on top of his head and calls himself an angel unicorn
he was the most pure angel baby to ever be born
like he was born and god cried because he was so beautiful
in the realm, angels are given many different jobs, and at a young age, they are destined to whatever job they have in store for them
like there are messenger angels, and guardian angels and even an angel army that goes off and fights demons or something totally rad like that
can you guess what hoseok would be chosen as?
that’s right, an infantry angel!!
just kidding, he’s a messenger angel, which explains why his wings are definitely different from the other angels
the higher ups can see from a young age that hoseok has the biggest heart in the world and he cares for anyone and everyone regardless of their pasts, or current situations, or what’s going on in their lives and they’re scared that if he were a guardian angel. hoseok would get too involved with whoever he was sworn to protect and be absolutely crushed when they were no longer in need of his protection and he had to leave them for whatever the case may be
hosek grows up in the messenger angel business though so he doesn’t know any different
he actually really loves the job because his messages are 9/10 times positive to deliver and it isn’t the most time consuming job because how many people actually get messages from the heavens right?
he gets to fly around all day and bask in the sunshine, and he gets to see the human world without actually having to be involved
because although angels do help the human race and in some instances work to serve them almost, the number one rule is to not get too involved with humans because they are immoral and fickle and also mortal which would be a pretty big issue idk, if you know, someone happened to fall in love with one
not like anyone would do that
especially not hoseok
okay so one day he has to go deliver a message to a grocery store cashier that they have been chosen by god to go and reclaim the ark of the covenant from area fifty one or something obscure like that and hoseok is like yes, time to shine, time to bless somebody’s life!!
whenever he goes down to the human world, can you just
just picture hoseok, in this little toga thing that is definitely way too short on him (god bless the thighs) and he has gladiator sandals and his golden skin is exposed for everyone to bask in its glory
and his wings constantly knock things over, and he constantly panics and apologizes and goes to pick things up but then ends up knocking more things over and he’s trying to fix it meanwhile the humans are scared out of their minds okay
and hoseok doesn’t understand why everyone is screaming but it sounds fun so he wants to join in on the fun,,,
hoseok is heading down to the human world to go and help this cashier discover their destiny
he decided to do away with the wings because when angels go to earth they have the option to become human in essence so hoseok is like wow probably a good idea after last time when that lady came at me with the broom,,,
he is looking super fly (ahah im so funny)
like he has one of those cute bomber jackets and ripped jeans and maroon doc martens and a black shirt under the jacket and he’s glowing like he loves when he’s in his human clothes he feels so stylish??
but anyway he’s wandering around the supermarket because the cashier he’s looking for (an old grandma who’s like seventy two and has fourteen cats btw) is on her break and he needs to kill the time because people need to eat!! and he doesn’t want to bother her!!
and low and behold! there’s you! standing there! all alone! trying to reach the last box of fruity pebbles off the top shelf and you can’t seem reach it no matter how high you jump
hoseok runs over and with ease grabs the box (you swore it was stuck but it practically falls into his hands as soon as he arrives??)
and you kinda oH!! because who is this attractive hunk of heaven? you’ve never seen him before and you know quite a few people around town?
and he’s so stunning and gorgeous and you’re trying not to die but then mm he smiles down at you and you swear angels are singing (they are) and the heavens are shining down on you (they’re doing that as well) and god has blessed you or something (he has)
hoseok is beaming and his little angel heart is racing like he’s been dealing with humans for an eternity now but he’s never met on as cute and adorable and drop dead gorgeous as you?
angels are supposed to be like the most beautiful things but wow they seem like dirt in comparison to you
“hi i’m hoseok, im your angel~”
“well if you’re an angel i guess i could be a siren, they’re pretty cool right?”
and he just laughs and you swear world peace has just been achieved
you really like him and you think why not ask for his number or something?? he’s cute and sweet and wowow and you go to pull out your phone but he’s like panicking about something
“oh my god i have to go in supposed to be- oh god oh god i’m so sorry!!”
he grabs your hands and gives them a tight squeeze before dashing off to god only knows where (literally)
and you’re super upset because something was special about him…
little do you know…
hoseok is dead set on becoming a guardian angel
okay, he’s dead set on becoming YOUR guardian angel
he goes to the higher ups and literally begs on his knees to be the one destined to protect you but he gets denied obv because the number one angel rule is don’t fall for humans!!
hoseok says he’s not in love with you but he finds himself checking up on you sometimes like low key directing a little rain in the opposite direction when he sees you’ve forgotten your umbrella or making flowers grow outside your house more beautifully than those even in the rich people gardens
and you decide there must be someone smiling down at you but you don’t realize it’s hoseok
actually you kinda low key kiss hoseok even though you didn’t know him but a few moments he left this little special place in your heart
you pray that you’ll meet hoseok again and god is just “you know what hoseok, i’ll give you one chance, don’t fall in love”
hoseok screams and people down on earth think it’s thunder, nah, it’s just hoseok
he’s officially become your guardian angel which means he can come visit!
the next time he sees you, you’re coming home from work and it’s icy out bcuz it’s getting way cold out now and you’re rounding the corner and you don’t see the ice patch and you start slipping but guess who’s there
oh wait it’s hoseok!
you literally fall into his arms and you two topple backwards and almost fall but hoseok keeps you both steady
he’s so muscular btw??
and you gaze up into the eyes of your savior and it’s that smile you could never forget
“we seem to run into each other a lot huh?”
you roll your eyes but with a newfound sense of courage reply “why don’t we run to get some coffee huh?”
and he gets all blushy and cute but agrees and he wants to pay for you but human money and he’s not that subtle and he literally just poofs some into existence when you’re looking over at the specials menu (he thinks he’s subtle though, love him please)
and after coffee you definitely give him your number and he makes you put his contact name as “my angel” with like seventy two thousand hearts because he’s a cutie
and he really is your angel like you’ll text him about having an extra hard day and he’ll be over with some chocolate chip muffins and a slushie and like four hundred movies to watch just to get you smiling again (probably lots of scooby doo and pink panther and like old cartoons like that!!)
and when you’re having an amazing day he’s actually low key more supportive than your friends like you’ll be like wow i just got promoted and your friends will be like “wow congrats xoxo” whereas hoseok will legit be like time to throw a party with lots of cakes and balloons!!
but things start to get suspicious
like one day he’s over at your apartment and he’s decided he’s going to make dinner because you work so hard and deserve a break
you go upstairs to change right and when you come back down he’s dancing and swinging his hips and singing along to some song you’ve never ever heard
you lean in the doorway and just kinda watch in amusement?
but because he’s goofing around he ends up knocking himself with the knife he’s cutting tomatoes with and he cursed under his breath (by using fruit names? which he does regularly but??)
you obviously sprint over and take his hand in yours but there’s absolutely nothing there
not even a scratch
“hoseok what the hell i just watched you hurt yourself i watched you completely slice your finger-”
“no you didn't”
“hoseok don’t play games with me it’s not funny i’m worried!!”
he promises you that you must be exhausted and seeing things but you know that’s not the case
some other instances include…
hoseok low key thinking he’s stealthy and talking to animals and like holding conversations with your goldfish
and somehow or another whenever you get hurt he heals your wounds like actually heals your wounds with a simple kiss on the boo boo
he disappears too like he teleports? sometimes he’s telling you he’s at the supermarket and five seconds later he’s at your day
you swear you’ve seen him hover before, just like when you came home early from work once, he was sitting, on air, reading his book on egyptian mythology like it’s the most casual thing in the world?
also you have no bad luck. at all. like you keep passing all your exams and work is going amazing and your skin is clear and shining and wonderful !!
and you’re just happier overall like hoseok makes your entire life brighter and you can’t imagine life without him
spoke too soon huh?
because my kiddos, hoseok has gotten himself into trouble
he’s broken the number one rule of angels
he’s fallen in love with you
he didn’t really mean to
but you’re so sweet
babies love you
animals love you
old people love you
he loves you
you’re so caring and sweet to him and you know when he needs to rant and know when he just needs a hug more than anything, and know when he just needs some time alone
you understand him like nobody else before has done
yes he wants to keep protecting you but he also wants to kiss your face and snuggle with you and hold your hand
oops guess who finds out
everyone in heaven
one day hoseok is waiting for you to come home because he needs to talk about something important and you had given him the key like years ago??
but suddenly he’s whisked away in a beam of shining light and he’s floating up, up, up
suddenly he’s before god who he hasn’t seen in like seven million years because all his time has been spent with you
he knows what’s coming
he can’t explain himself
for once he cannot speak
“you know you’ve broken the number one rule of angels”
“and i regret nothing”
hoseok holds his head high and doesn’t quaver with his answer either and he’s given a stern nod
“then i guess your decision has been made”
and as soon as it happened hoseok is plummeting down back to earth, and everything is dark and his body feels like it’s on fire and he wonders if maybe he’s going somewhere else
he tries to use his wings but something isn’t right, something is missing
eventually he lands on your bed with a loud thud, but his body still burns, and he feels as if his soul has been sucked from his body
mortality is already taking a toll on him but that’s not the main issue
his wings are gone
and in their place is two jagged scars
he moans and curls up in a ball because he’s never had to deal with pain as excruciating as this before
now it is your turn to be the angel
you had a gut feeling something wasn’t right and you asked your boss to leave early and raced home
you rushed inside only to find hoseok on your bed, doing his best not to cry
your heart shatters and you hurry over to him
“oh my god hoseok, what’s wrong?! are you hurt, are you dying!?”
he shakes his head and moves his head into your lap “i… i um… i love you, like a lot…” he manages to say through gritted teeth
and you’re like hoseok this is hardly the time you’re in pain but he seems so at peace when the words escape his lips
you play with his hair and rub his lower back and once he’s calmed down some you hurry to get some ice and ibuprofen
“where’s the pain at?” you ask after he’s swallowed the medicine
and he kinda rolls to his side but keeps his head in your lap and you gently lift up his shirt and a horrified gasp escapes your lips
but don’t fear because this ends happy!
it takes time but you care for him 25/8 and you’re his angel now
like you make him soup and read to him when he can’t sleep and feed him cause he’s a baby and also try to braid his hair too sometimes
and he moves in with you and he protects you from everything and anything except for snakes and spiders, he makes you take care of those
sometimes you’ll be like why did you give being an angel up… for me?
and he’ll cup your face in his hands and lean in close “because a lifetime in your arms is better than an eternity without you”
and he leans in close and kisses you so gently and you know you’re in heaven
Whitebeard... I've gone through many battles and suffered various wounds, but what aches now is this one...!!! This isn't a wound from the adventure nor did I get it from Hawkeye... your man, Blackbeard Teach, was the one who inflicted this wound...!!! And it's not like I was careless or anything. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here, Whitebeard!? He's been waiting for a chance... he didn't take the position of a captain or made himself known. All this time, he's been hiding in the shadow of the famous Whitebeard!!! And now he's gained power and started to take action. In the end, he'll be aiming for the top with his own will! He'll eventually take over your position, too.
What do you want me to do? That's what you came here for, right?
Please, stop Ace!!! Despite his youth, he's entrusted to Captain of the Second Division of your crew. Ace is strong...!!! I know that very well. But that fame and trust complicate things. It's not yet time for them to face each other!!! Leave Blackbeard Teach alone! That's the only wish I have.
Gurarara! I sniveling kid like you dare to say such things. His crime... is something that's highly forbidden on a pirate ship. He killed a nakama! Thus violating the ultimate law. I treat any idiot I let on my ship like my own son. Now, where would the soul of my murdered son go...!!? You can't live in this world without humanity and justice. It's my responsibility to give that stupid Teach a lesson about that...!!! Do you understand, fool? You're 100 years too early to order me around.
Then nobody will be able to stop this era of recklessness!!!
I have nothing to fear!!! I am the Whitebeard!!!
Black-Eyed Children (or Black-Eyed Kids) are paranormal creatures that resemble children between the ages of 6 and 16, with pale skin and black eyes, who are reportedly seen hitchhiking or panhandling, or are encountered on doorsteps of residential homes. It was once believed that the first account of black eyed kids was the Brian Bethel account in 1998, however David Weatherly, a long-time paranormal researcher, has written a book on the black-eyed kids phenomenon where he reports encounters with black-eyed kids that go back to 1950.
All reports of black-eyed kids share certain similarities. As I talk about these, I’ll refer to black-eyed kids as “BEKs” and their potential victims as “mark(s).” It is interesting to note that reports of being harassed by BEKs come from people of all walks of life and all ages. There have been reports from military personnel, business people, and teenagers–and everything in between. It seems nobody is safe from BEKs.
Physical Characteristics of BEKs The black “shark” eyes which have no pupil or iris Ages: usually but not always small child to young teen; its not unheard of to encounter some older, even adult age. Dressed either in nondescript, contemporary clothes or in very old-fashioned, ill-fitting clothes Skin having an odd “plastic” look. Some reports of olive-skinned BEKs exist, others are white. Appear and disappear very quickly. They also show up in places where it doesn’t make sense for them to be. For example, one woman who lived on a 3rd floor apartment had a BEK show up on her balcony, knocking on her patio door. There was no way for the kid to get up there other than to have scaled the building.
What BEKs Do: They attempt to isolate themselves and their mark from the rest of the world. For example, they want to get in the mark’s car or come inside the mark’s house. They employ the ruse of being a child in need. “I need to get to my mother” or “I need to call my mother.” They communicate in a monotone voice. They are articulate and confident, but will not answer direct questions. They just repeat their request, getting more agitated with each refusal. They try to use a form of mind control on their marks.
How it feels : Marks from all walks of life report similar feelings during an encounter with BEKs. Fear That they are in the presence of evil Flight or fight Unhappiness Hunted Dread Despair Not in control. Marks believed the BEKs were using a form of mind control. One mark who had previously been hypnotized to help her quit smoking reported that talking to the BEKs felt like being hypnotized. Many marks said they had a hard time refusing the BEKs requests.
Many encounters with BEKs end with the mark wanting to do something spiritual or religious in hopes of cleansing themselves of the BEK.
What are they? The following is a short list of speculation on what BEKs–if they exist–might be. Alien-hybrids Djinn Ghosts Demons Changelings Vampires — BEKs share elements with vampire mythology: the need to invited into their victims home/car, the ability to hypnotize, the feeding off some aspect of victim. Omens — many marks have reported having bizarre bad luck after an encounter with BEKs.
(I personally think they are ultraterrestrials/faeries.)
What Do BEKs Want? Nobody knows. The following are some speculations: To feed on our fear To take away our life force To learn how to interact in the human world without raising alarm.
What happens if you let them in? David Weatherly’s book has a chapter about a family who let a BEK into their vehicle. In the interview I watched (which is below in my sources), Mr. Weatherly did not say what went on during the family’s encounter with the BEK. He talked mostly about the aftermath.
Very quickly after letting the BEK into their vehicle, the family had a car crash. Their young son, who sat closest to the BEK, became very ill. His symptoms were unidentifiable, having characteristics of many illnesses.
Other Strange Stuff Connected with BEKs:
People who bought David Weatherly’s book have complained of technological weirdness while trying to read. One woman was interrupted by her smoke alarm going off and the timer on her stove dinging.
I guess I’ll end this with a warning. If you’re reading late at night and hear something rapping on your door or your window, maybe it’s best not to check. If a kid asks you for a ride or to come in your house and use your phone, look at their eyes before you grant their request. Listen to your gut. That primitive part of your brain knows when danger is afoot.