world experts

In a desperate mission to save the world from attacking aliens the world leaders gather experts of every field. For some reason they invite you as “Expert In Bullshitting” in the very last attempt of rescuing the planet.

My dad has a middle finger sticker on the back of his car, and so did his dad, and so did his dads dad.

My dad tells me that this is his, my family’s, statement to the world.

That even if he can’t always verbally say it, the world knows it’s a fucked up place. And he continues to remind it with a “fuck you.”

—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #24 // @loveactivist

anonymous asked:

domestic jily headcanons plz plz????

yes yES I have all the time for this:

  • Lily sitting on the counter and being James’ taste tester while he makes dinner
  • James’ gets really emotional and ~deep~ one night when he’s watching Lily from his side of the bed and he just blurts out “You are the best thing that ever happened to me” and she has to turn her face and smush it in her pillow because damnit he makes her smile and she’s blushing so hard it’s embarrassing
  • James is the dad that not so secretly frets over every potential disaster that could happen and accidently freaks out and yells quite a lot because “nO Harry get away from the toaster or so hELP me Godric”
  • Meanwhile Lily mocks James because “you blew up the toaster a couple weeks ago, I’m not sure you’re qualified to tell him off for trying to retrieve his breakfast” with a raised eyebrow
  • but she is also that parent that can silence Harry with a single terrifying look
  • One time when they were in hiding James lost his razor, and couldn’t get a new one
  • Lily fell in love with his stubble
  • James then got creative and threatened to grow a huge mustache like the ridiculous one Sirius grew in fifth year
  • Lily threatened a divorce
  • James discovering Harry loves bubbles and blowing them out the end of his wand so enthusiastically that he ends up almost passing out
  • James plays a prank to make Harry laugh but accidentally scares him and then Lily walks in on James’ panic searching google articles about overcoming childhood trauma
  • Once the war is over they settle into normality pretty happily
  • James wears a suit to work at the Ministry as a Senior Auror and Lily ties his tie and kisses his nose
  • Meanwhile Lily is a stay at home mum, and the master potioneer for Fleamont Potter’s resurrected potions company on the side
  • (because while Lily can’t leave Harry after that night in Godric’s Hollow, she still has ambitions to one day be a world renowned potions expert)
  • James will sneak downstairs at 4am for the last pop tart only to open the cupboards to find that his wife had already snuck down and eaten it
  • Eating in bed
  • It usually drives James a little insane but some nights he can’t help but curl up with a bag of popcorn and attempt to steal some of Lily’s oreos
  • (He miserably fails obviously - Lily is not a sharer of food)
  • James falling asleep in the most random places all the time, mouth open, snoring and drooling whenever Lily finds him (or in some circumstances, when she trips over him at 6 am on her way to the kitchen)
  • “Potter, why are you sleeping with your head against the bannister when there’s a perfectly good bed upstairs?”
  • An almost incoherent mumble of “pop tarts” usually explains
  • Lily will read a book before bed while her husband lies next to her and reads Quidditch magazines, and promptly falls asleep five minutes later with his glasses sitting wonkily on his face
  • She always quietly removes them and the magazine from his hand, gives him a peck on the nose and turns out the lights for the night
  • In the dark she’ll hear him mumble an “I love you” every night, without fail
  • Lily loves decorative pillows, James doesn’t understand their function
  • “This seems like such a waste. And why do they have to be in a specific stacking order, they’re just pillows??”
  • In response he always gets a smack round the head with one and told that their true purpose is whacking Jame’s in the face so that he “shuts up about the pillows function?? It doesn’t need a bloODY FUNCTION you dimwit it’s just a pillow”
  • Sometimes Lily gets drowsy on the couch and James will carry her up the stairs, tuck her into bed and just look at his wife, think about his life with her and Harry and wonder just how he got this damn lucky

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Gather successful people from all walks of life-what would they have in common? The way they think! Now you can think as they do and revolutionize your work and life!


A Wall Street Journal bestseller, HOW SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE THINK is the perfect, compact read for today’s fast-paced world. America’s leadership expert John C. Maxwell will teach you how to be more creative and when to question popular thinking. You’ll learn how to capture the big picture while focusing your thinking. You’ll find out how to tap into your creative potential, develop shared ideas, and derive lessons from the past to better understand the future. With these eleven keys to more effective thinking, you’ll clearly see the path to personal success.


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Hey guys? Hey. Guys? Hey, wouldn’t it be fucked up if Fantasy NASA essentially hired Fantasy Rachel Maddow to go on a standard exploration that ended up being 100 years of a cyclical hell that eventually led to this civilian destroying the last memorial remnants of a societal agency to fix what it broke and gave up literal years of her life to build a new organization from the ground up to continue to try and save an entire world where the previous experts couldn’t and had to sacrifice her found family in the process?

That’d be fucked up wouldn’t it G r i f f e n.

Confessions to a Consultant Detective - Request

Requested by anon:  hiii, can you do a john watson x reader where the reader is jealous because john have a date, so when she thinks that he goes out she admits to sherlock that she loves john, but john actually didn’t leave and listen what she said? thank you :)

Summary: After John goes out on a date, Sherlock and (Y/N) share an odd conversation about her true feelings for the doctor, without knowing that John hadn’t really left the building.

Pairing: John x reader

Word count: 2,050

Warnings: None.

A/N: Sherlock working as Cupid… An idea I never had until today. This will be fun. Also, I’m so proud of the title I chose… It’s awful, but I love it.

Enjoy!

Originally posted by hobbitbilbo

John the Bachelor. With his hedgehog face and bright blue eyes, grey hair and that huge heart he had that made Sherlock Holmes seem to be even worse. No, John the Bachelor wasn’t like that, but Dr. John Hamish Watson was.

Not many people noticed the difference, and the ones that did never cared to remark it. That’s what press does: it turns you into a character, a person with limited, repetitive traits. A soulless monster. Which is exactly what they had made John appear to be to the eyes of the blind.

A man who’s only two purposes in life were following Sherlock Holmes on every adventure and case he decided to take and to flirt with every single girl in England - and maybe even further. He was the womanizer, according to the papers; one that could never be satisfied with just a single woman. He needed many, he needed all of them.

Fortunately, neither Sherlock, Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade, Mycroft nor (Y/N) saw him like that. On the contrary, for them he was that brave, wise and kind man looking for the love of his life… Always in vain.

He wasn’t a womanizer, not at all, but rather a man who’s type was open for any woman to fulfil. After all, love can be found at the most unexpected places, with the most unexpected people.

This is exactly the conversation (Y/N) and Sherlock shared right after John left on yet another date.

(Y/N), who had always had a soft spot for that ex-military doctor and how selfless he was, couldn’t help but to feel jealous when a ginger beauty got his eyes at a bar nearby. Her curvy body and the deepness of her grey eyes had made John fall almost instantly attracted for her, and, as any other smart girl who read the papers, she didn’t say no when he asked her out.

The theatre, the park, a fancy restaurant… It didn’t really matter where he took them. The reporters and paparazzi would always be there, expectant, craving for some news. Meanwhile, the girls would enjoy their five minutes of fame as “another one of the Watson’s girls.”

“It’s unbelievable!” (Y/N) fumed as she shattered – or tried to – the newspaper that Mrs. Hudson had kindly got them that morning.

“It is indeed.” Sherlock agreed, although he wasn’t paying total attention to her words.

“A womanizer, a Bachelor who’s appetite can’t be satisfied… What kind of press is this?” She continued.

“The bad kind.” Sherlock muttered, “Wait, press? I thought we were talking about how unbelievably jealous you are of his date.”

“Not funny.” She hissed. Sherlock smiled widely, mockingly, as his eyes got framed by many crinkles and his pearly white teeth showed.

“I find it hilarious.” He chuckled and the grin vanished, returning to his usual serious face. “I believe you should ask him out.”

“Right, you’re the expert.” She snapped sarcastically.

“Well, I understand how everybody wants a bit of space in the newspapers… And you haven’t gotten much credit in spite of being of great help during our cases.” Sherlock said nonchalantly, “You deserve those five minutes of fame.”

“I don’t want fame, Sherlock!” She exclaimed, “You honestly don’t understand the real deal here, do you?”

Sherlock pouted for a second as his mind wandered to every last bit of information in his brain. “I believe not.”

“Sherlock Holmes. The great Sherlock Holmes can’t deduce something as simple and obvious as this.” A loud laugh left her lips.

“I deduce that you are especially sarcastic today.” Sherlock observed. He flopped on his chair and gestured for her to take Watson’s seat. She obeyed. “Explain to me, (Y/N). What goes on in that little head of yours?”

“You honestly don’t know?” She inquired. Sherlock thought it for a second before shaking his head in fake defeat.

“But I sense that it’s something related to John… Possibly physical attraction involved.”

“It’s more than that.” She whispered as he spoke.

“Explain to me, then.” Sherlock asked once more, making sure to wink at her – or at least that’s what she believed.

“John is… I… uh…”

How to explain feelings to a man incapable of feeling? Sherlock Holmes was heartless, unable to feel empathy for anyone, cold minded and utterly sceptic of the existence of love. Then how would she explain that, whenever Watson said her name, her heart skipped a beat? How to explain that every time her eyes met his she inertly prayed for him to feel the same connection she felt? How to explain that every smile, ever minimal touch or simple the fact of being in the same room made her whole week a lot happier? How to explain that his pain was shared by her, even when she didn’t truly understand it, because just seeing him broken broke her?

Keep reading

I’m gonna get confrontational here.

She has a PhD teaching at Colorado state university. She is a world renowned animal behavior expert and fine tuned cattle chutes so they may operate with the best methods possible. Having autism from childhood she was able to process and think how animals do. She is an expert in low stress cattle handling which is used country wide from cow-calf to processing facilities.

Stressed animal=exerting more energy=losing money.
WE DON’T MISTREAT AN ANIMAL BECAUSE THEY ARE BOTH A LIFEFORM AND SHEER PROFIT.

Dr. Grandin has a huge impact on agriculture and will go down in history.

Eat your heart out vegans.

anonymous asked:

Does King get her nickname from her height?

The short answer: surprisingly, no.

King’s nickname originates from a pun on a Japanese pop culture sensation. This answer got pretty long because I had to do some digging for it, so I put a tl;dr version at the bottom if you want to skip to that!

Someone actually asked her a question about this on Uraraji (Uranohoshi Girls’ High School Radio)! King was the guest while Aikyan was the host on Ep7 (May 25th), and the very first question they got in the letter corner was, “King, why are you called ‘King’?”

King laughs about it since “King” sounds very almighty and at first glance, doesn’t appear to have anything to do with her name. Apparently, it comes from “Takatsuking”, a pun on her last name (King has had several nicknames, which include “Kyanako”, “Kaako”, and “Takatsuking” according to her Twitter).

King mentions that when the cast members of Aqours all met up for the first time and introduced themselves, she told everyone that they could call her either “Takatsuking” or “Kanako” - whichever they were most comfortable with. Everyone chose “Takatsuking” since it left such an impression on them. Since “Takatsuking” is kinda long, at some point people decided to shorten it to “King”…and apparently King herself has no idea exactly when this happened. If she was walking on the streets and someone called out “King!” to her, she’d probably go “wait wut who are you talking to?” lol.

You can listen to that segment from the radio here. Hm…now that you’ve mentioned it, since that part is relatively short, maybe I should sub it? I don’t know if people would be interested in something in that though.

Anyways, what about the origin of “Takatsuking” itself? Back in 2015, King wrote a tweet wishing her fans a happy Halloween, and also talked about this nickname. Roughly, she said something along the lines of “The origin of Takatsuking… ‘everybody!!!’ (that guy that does this on Monday night lol)”. Considering how vague her response was, it was likely some kind of reference to something well-known in Japanese pop culture.

After some Googling, I dug up this seiyuu info site which explained the meaning behind it. My Japanese isn’t the best (so if anyone finds something wrong here, please feel free to tell me), but I believe what King was referring to was a program aired on Monday nights hosted by Matsuko Deluxe and Murakami Shingo. Murakami’s a Japanese entertainer known for being a member of the idol group Kanjani Eight (関ジャニ∞), and had a single titled “愛loveyou“ (ai love you). Clips from the PV were used as comedic fodder on his show since he acts hilariously gangsta in it (a stark contrast to his usual persona). Lines from the song include “俺はKING!“ (I’m the KING!) and “Put your hands up! Everybody!”, the latter of which was probably what King was referring to in her tweet. Murakami’s hometown is apparently the city of Takatsuki, located in Osaka Prefecture, so his line “I’m the KING!” led to him being labeled “Takatsuking” on the late-night show from “高槻の王” (takatsuki no ou), or “King of Takatsuki”. 

Apparently, this late-night Monday program is really popular among people in their teens and 20s, with an audience share of over 10% (which is quite big for a TV show). There’s no doubt that King is within this audience, since she’s in that age range and, of course, referred to that very show in her tweet. We can subsequently infer that King’s nickname “Takatsuking” was born from a mash-up of Murakami’s title and her own last name, “Takatsuki”.

Thus, it appears that “King” has no relation to her height after all! I think your guess was pretty solid though - I actually wondered the same thing myself, haha. I guess we both learned something today, so thanks for sending me this ask!

tl;dr: popular Monday night show in Japan has a dude referred to as the “King” of Takatsuki (city in Osaka) >> Takatsuki Kanako gains the nickname “Takatsuking” since the pun works with her last name >> Nickname is too long so it gets abbreviated to “King”. RIP King’s actual name.

Jane Goodall // trailblazers

Ask most little girls what they want to be when they grow up and they might say a princess, a teacher, an astronaut. Me?  I wanted to be Jane Goodall.  The world’s leading expert on chimpanzees, there is perhaps no greater advocate for wildlife conservation on the planet.  Goodall started working with chimps at age 23, but what began as a career quickly turned into a lifelong passion.  She didn’t just study chimps, she lived among them.  By spending so much time deeply ingrained into the chimps’ society, she was able to identify startlingly human-like characteristics in them.  Each chimp had its own personality, relationships, and emotions the way any human would.  She was also the first to observe chimpanzees constructing and using tools, a characteristic humans had long used to differentiate themselves from animals. In her writings, Goodall gave the chimps names like Fifi and David Greybeard.  She detailed their daily lives, their triumphs and struggles.  In short, she humanized them.  Because of Jane Goodall, human beings were forced to reexamine the natural world and our place in it.  Now in her eighties, Goodall’s activism shows no sign of slowing down.  She continues to inspire the next generation of naturalists to see the world through the eyes of the animals we share it with.

I swear to the Goddess, you could be the world-certified expert in something ten times over and a load of pompous, condescending, psuedo-intellectual men would come crawling out of the woodwork to tell you their worthless opinions on the subject and expect you to be fascinated while they tell you literally nothing of value and get most of their ‘facts’ wrong. 

April 20

Colin King is the wealthy son of a master spy who was employed by the British Government. King was raised in the Orient but was an outcast in that society. When his father was killed by rival agent Iwatsu, King decided to go into training, determined to continue his father’s tradition and bring his killers to justice. Now a master of the secret arts of the ninja, he served England and the world as Ninjak. He first appeared in Bloodshot #6 (April 20, 1993). Ninjak is the enforcer of the mysterious Weaponeer organization and the world’d foremost espionage expert. Ninjak uses his expertise in martial arts, demolition, information acquisition and other skills, a keen intellect and an ability to prepare people for any outcome in a given situation. He wears a kevlar-armored bodysuit that can change color. Eventually, Ninjak joins the British Intelligence organization under Neville Alcott, who also works with Bloodshot and Eternal Warrior. Alcott has known Colin since he was a boy, Colin’s father also worked for Alcott many years ago in Japan. Ninjak has no superhuman powers but has trained his body and is a master of ninjutsu, a group of martial skills that includes jujutsu, bōjutsu, and iaijutsu. An aspect of ninjutsu is the ability of the shinobi, or master, to use any object as a weapon. Ninjak has a highly analytical and tactical mind, allowing him to foresee various scenarios and prepare for them. He is also a computer hacker and uses this skill to gather intelligence.

The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make is taking a stroll down his local town. As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye: “Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World and the sounds that they make - available now”

Unable to resist the temptation, the man goes into the shop.

“I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make. I’d very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window.”

“Certainly, Sir,” says the young man behind the counter. “If you’d like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I’ll put the LP on for you.”

The world expert on European wasps goes into the booth and puts on the earphones. Three minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, “I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those.”

“I’m very sorry Sir”, says the young assistant. “If you’d care to step into the booth again, I can play you have another track.”

The world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.

Three minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. “I don’t understand it”, he says, “I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can’t recognise any of those!”

“I’m terribly sorry, Sir” says the young man, “perhaps if you’d like to step into the booth again, you could hear another track.”

Sighing, the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make steps back into the booth. Five minutes later, he comes out again, clearly agitated.

“I am the world expert on European wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I have recognised none of the wasps on this LP.”

“I really am terribly sorry”, says the young assistant.

“I’ve just realised I was playing you the bee side.”