Please fire me.  I think we all know working retail sucks, with rude customers and high expectations when you’re just one person.  But when you’re desperate enough to work at Dollar Tree of all places, you know it’s bad.  (And yes, you “funny” customer, everything IS INDEED a fucking dollar.)

My job description is basically “cashier first, stocker second”.  But apparently no one told me I was also a janitor, a babysitter, a shrink, and the brains behind the manager who can’t think for himself half the time.  Okay fine, I’ll clean up your crap that you’re too lazy to put back in its original spot that’s two feet away from you.  Fine, I’ll watch your kid for a moment if you need to use the restroom.  I’ll listen if you really want to tell me about the shitty day you’ve been having prior to coming to my register.  Okay manager, I’ll handle the customer for a few minutes while you back me up on the register.

However, if you’re going to take all the shit from the party aisle and shove it into the empty cavity on the shelf specifically made for bread, get out of my store.  If your child won’t listen to me after I’ve told them 4 times to stop pulling the balloons out of the corral, you need to put your child on a leash.  If you’re going to blame me for your shitty day and take all your frustration out on me, then I WILL make myself the reason you’re not in control of your own damn life.  And manager, for the love of whatever you believe in, do your fucking job as a manager and not talk to your wife about moving to Florida in *certain time frame*; stop bullshitting on the side-lines and help me on the register when I need it.

Don’t argue with me over something coming out to $1.06 because you didn’t think to bring change with you for tax.  Don’t argue with me when I say we only do exchanges and that I am not authorized to do full refunds.  And especially don’t argue with me when your card declines and you don’t carry cash.

And I swear, if you come into my store, and I have a small line of two people, and you want a new line to open because you woke up late for work and you’re too damn impatient to purchase a single bottle of water, I will gladly step away from my register to hand you an application so you can ring up your own fucking water, you impatient, sweaty, suit-and-tie dickweed.

Labor Secretary Tom Perez said the bottom line is that federal contractors receive billions in taxpayer dollars to do government work, so in return, they are held to standards that they may not discriminate in hiring, firing and pay.

“Until today, it was discrimination based on sex, race, color, religion, national origin, disability and status as a protected veteran that was prohibited,” Perez wrote in a blog post. “Now, in the first expansion since 1974, LGBT Americans enjoy these same protections.”

President Obama signed this executive order last June, and it has finally taken effect. Finally, finally, finally. Next stop: ENDA. 

{} Know your limits in the workplace.

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This is moreso for our Tumblr users that have full and part time jobs (because I literally NEVER see anything about about this kind of crap). Familiarize yourself with your physical working limits – as well as your local working laws! While some companies are fantastic at minding labor laws, there are some instances where they will overlook, nitpick, and cut corners. Since I’m in Canada, (specifically Alberta so these will be Alberta based), here’s a small list of need-to-knows for working persons – with links to government pages for more info. Even if you aren’t from Alberta Canada, please consider skimming through the following and looking up the appropriate information for your area.;

Anywhom, that’s my little tidbit of information to share with all of you. Again, please try to get to know your working laws because it could help you weed out which employers are awesome and which ones are shit. 

Speaking of, please do not force yourself to stay with just one company – especially if they treat you like crap, overwork you and stress you the fuck out. Don’t “put up” with a shitty workplace just because it has good pay or was the only place that hired you when you were desperate to cover your bills. It’s okay to look for other, better work and attend interviews while working!! If you find a better job, give your existing job two weeks notice (written notice is ideal!! don’t just abandon your old job – it looks really bad on you if a future employer calls your past one to review your work ethic and they say you just didn’t show up one day). 

Hope this was helpful!! Feel free to add on if you want! Remember – this was mostly Alberta based, so laws may differ from yours!

“In Ontario, employers don’t have to provide workers with their schedule in advance.

There are no penalties for cancelling an employee’s shift even an hour before it’s due to start.

There is no obligation to guarantee part-time workers a certain number of hours.

There is no law preventing more part-time workers from being hired before offering existing employees more hours.

There is nothing that saves part-time workers from being paid less than full-time workers — even when they do the same job.

Many low-wage workers desperately need to take on second jobs but can’t, because employers expect full-time availability from their part-time employees.

Experts call erratic work scheduling the “Wild West” of employment standards, a practice that causes havoc in the lives of millions of Ontario workers but is almost completely ignored by provincial law.

The result in many industries is a “brutal combination” of unpredictable schedules, insufficient hours and poor wages, says Deena Ladd, who heads the Workers’ Action Centre, a Toronto-based labour rights advocacy group.”

There is perhaps no greater opportunity to introduce tension into the workplace than within the walls of the office refrigerator. It’s a social experiment without a set list of rules to guide behavior, and no authority to enforce what’s appropriate.

Is a dollop of ketchup too much? What if someone’s sandwich has been in there for days?

Foraging In The Office Fridge: Petty Theft Or Public Service?

Photo Credit: Photo Illustration by Ryan Kellman/NPR