working on farm

You know how people working in retail always have ‘weird customer stories?’

Sam and Dean Winchester are those weird customers.

There are probably whole online forums dedicated to this, now that I think about it. Started as a joke on reddit and then people from all over the country start to chime in.

Two huge guys came in today and bought 20 cartons of Morton’s salt and a box of Hello Kitty bandaids. Nothing else.

Had a similar experience! Two guys come in: one guy buys a ton of salt and like 50 pocket-sized lighters, the other puts a divider between them and buys a single slice of cherry pie from the bakery. They leave together.

Lol same here. Salt and bandaids. Did one of em have long hair? XD

I work at the butcher’s downtown. We had two super buff scary dudes come in asking for any buckets of lamb’s blood we might have “lying around.” Past closing time. I gave it to them but it was freaky as hell.

Omg what’s with the salt conspiracy? But yeah same I work at a Christmas tree farm and sometimes we catch these two guys cutting down trees at night. It’s always the same two guys and they only cut the stumps off. Why.
EDIT: one of them did have long hair actually!!

This is unrelated but I once had a guy in a trench coat physically assault me because we were out of pie. This was AFTER he cracked an egg onto the floor and knocked over everything in sight.

3

Lance who was raised in the city is sent to work on a farm for the summer. He thinks that Keith the guy running the place is gonna be some old crazy guy, so he’s really not too excited. 

Turns out Keith is some kind of FARMER GOD AND HE FALLS HARD (until he finds out that Keith is really snarky, and the bickering ensues)

how to get a girlfriend (easy)

what you’ll need:

  • one (1) box of captain crunch
  • a copy of fallout: new vegas (pc or console, both work)
  • lactos-free milk or soy milk (never regular milk)
  • one (1) can of sprite
  • confidence!!!!!

steps:

  • find a girl you like
  • make sure she’s into girls by giving her the can of sprite (by then i hope i’ve made it well-known in the gay community that sprite is for gay ppl only)
  • mention you play fallout: new vegas. of she gets excited, you’ve already got yourself a date. if she doesn’t know what that is, invite her over to your house to play
  • yeah then do that. eat captain crunch while playing. kiss her on the mouth. ask her to be your gf.
  • you get married and have three kids, a dog, and a cat. you live in a nineteenth-century home in the middle of kansas. you work the farm while your wife has her canning business. 
  • sometimes you see a figure in your field of wheat and turnips: humanoid, shifting, like it’s made of smoke. every time you approach it, it vanishes. you chalk it up to your mind playing tricks on you.
Tasty Tryst (M)

Summary: Selling preserves at the local farmers’ market has its distractions when your vendor booth is placed next to the one belonging to the young strawberry farmer who’s been sweet on you for years.

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff

Word Count: 9,643

Warning: StrawberryFarmer!Taehyung, foodplay, sexual themes, profanity

Series: Working Man Bangtan

A/N: Just in time for strawberry season.

Keep reading

it’s weird that everybody supports boycotts in pretty much any context (movies, restaurants, businesses, even just the practice of using ‘no link’ urls for shitty websites to not give people ad revenue) until someone reveals that they’re boycotting an animal product & then everybody jumps in to say boycotts don’t work and there’s no ethical consumption so no point in changing who you buy from

I like to think that when Roadhog and Junkrat’s partnership developed into a friendship during their crime spree, Roadhog would tell Junkrat stories. Not stories about himself, no, those were too personal. But about movies and books. As they rode across dusty roads for hours on end, Roadhog would tell the plots of movies or books the best he could remember. He wasn’t the best story-teller or anything, but Junkrat loved the stories all the same (he especially liked the ones with grand explosions and people getting what was coming to them). Roadhog didn’t lie to Junkrat either and pretend that he made up the stories himself, Junkrat always knew they were all the plots from movies or books they didn’t have in Junkertown

Fast forward to when their friendship turned into something more, when the two of them got a chance to sleep in motel rooms rather than abandoned buildings, they would go out and get as many movies and books as they could and just go for it. In between crimes, they would just cuddle on the shitty motel bed and watch some new movies and some of the old movies Roadhog had told him about (Junkrat complained the whole time that the characters didn’t look how he imagined). Other days they would just sit around in comfortable silence, each reading a book, finishing it and then switching so the other could read it too.

Even with access to all new books and movies, Junkrat still liked when Roadhog told him stories on their long trips, partly for the story itself, partly to hear his voice.

List of fanfics

Originally posted by whowasibeforeklance

I just feel like doing this :)


In The Shape Of A Boy

When Lance meets a boy in the middle of a rainy night he doesn’t expect to see him the next day at his new school, but, turns out the dude is an asshole.

Tragic memories and horrific events have changed them but can Lance find the truth behind Keith’s mask?. Can he learn to find happiness in a world that seems so keen on tearing it away from him?.

Shades of Purple

Lance McClain finds his safe haven and comfort online under the username blu97 on a messenger website called UniverseChat. There he meets a person under the username 1redrebel. Smart, charming, and having an amazing sense of humour, they pull Lance in immediately.

But what he doesn’t know is that the intriguing person behind the handle is someone that he could never imagine being with in a million years; Keith Kogane. An arrogant, impulsive, hot head at his school, who he doesn’t exactly like.

Sweet Escape

Lance is bisexual, but he’s only torturing himself by mostly dating girls and surpressing his desire for men other than sexual. Hunk and Shiro try to help him out and set him up, but that proves to be a bit difficult for him. Maybe he’ll get lucky this time when Shiro tries to set him up with a co-worker of his.

Tick Tock

The one where Keith was working and he found his soulmate - who just happened to be his favorite actor, Lance MotherF**king Vasquez.

Embers on Ice Sheets

Lance is the Avatar, as well as the prince of the Southern Water Tribe and boy, does it suck. His life has been an endless list of responsibilities and now an arranged marriage has been added to that list. But before he can marry the princess of the Northern Water Tribe and fulfill the duties to his family and nation, Lance has to travel to the Fire Nation and master firebending. And who better to teach the arrogant, and talkative avatar than the hotheaded and stubborn prince of the fire nation. What could go wrong right?

I named you mine

Lance is looking for shells for his family when he comes across a strange injerd fish. Being the kind hearted kid that he is Lance disides to take care of it, in fear that it might die out in the waves. Many years latter During the voltron surfing competition, After an awful whipeout Lance finds that mabey his act of childish kindness might be repaid in ways he didn’t imagen happening. Along with that mermen are a lot sexier then he first thought. 

To Love Is To Risk

Lance grunted as he was shoved into his locker as the football meat heads walked passed. His blue eyes looked over and narrowed when they spotted the quarterback Keith Kogane laughing and shoving his fellow players. Lance pushed off the locker and readjusted his glasses.

Seeing his friend take a step forward, Hunk put his big arm around Lance’s middle and pulled him towards their first class. “Come on, Lance. Don’t let Keith ruin today for you.”

The Bonds we Build

Lance who was born and raised in the city is sent to work on a farm for the summer. He thinks this will be some awful experience, but really it’s much more.

Especially when he finds out that Keith, the runner of the farm, and his new housemate for three months is actually the cutest person to ever live.


Then two really good series…

How To Train Your Galra

4 works

Seven Days

3 works

Would Bulma have prevented Vegeta from going to the tournament?

It is clear that Vegeta tried throughout all episode of not showing how much he cared about the birth of his daughter, but it is also easy to think that Bulma had demanded him not to go to train for be present at birth, in the same way that  she demanded that he be on her birthday (We know that She is the one who rules their marriage).

But it’s a curious fact that in Episode 77, it was Bulma who reminded to Goku that he was going to invite to Vegeta to train. Even, she didn’t look disgusted by the idea. (In adittion, she felt guilty and apologized for holding up Vegeta’s training in episode 83). And It makes me doubt that if Bulma really had prevented Vegeta from going to the tournament in the first place.

Which makes me think that like does Goku work in the farm because Chichi forces him, Vegeta uses to Bulma as an excuse to justify his “acts of charity” in front of other people, as if “she forced him to be more human”.  

Maybe, also she demand him that he gives her affection (or to spend time together), so that she make believe him to be forced to do it, when in fact he wants to do it too.

And the only person who knows the truth is Bulma and she follows him in his game because he feels more comfortable, and she is happy with that.

4

Thanks to cheap natural gas and renewable energy, coal is dying. That’s just a fact of modern life. While some coal will still exist, it won’t be enough to save the Rust Belt and Appalachia (areas that weren’t exactly swimming in money before coal disappeared). 

So the next step is figuring out what thriving modern industry can replace those jobs for a long period of time. It would have to be a livelihood that’s a) easy to train coal miners to do and b) growing enough to sustain a huge workforce.

The transition is already happening in places like Australia, where a coal mining town transformed itself into one of the country’s largest solar farming communities. It’s also in the U.S., where areas in Colorado rose from the coal ashes with a $800,000 boost in marijuana tax revenue. There have even been studies looking into the transition, which found that most coal mining workers not only could be cheaply retrained to work solar and wind farm gigs, but would also make more doing it. 

This isn’t a hard decision, people. So what’s the goddamn holdup?

Well … despite creating 150,000 full- and part-time jobs, certain politicians can’t seem to leave the 1980s when it comes to marijuana. While obviously not the wonder drug stoners want you to think, it’s insane we have an attorney general who’s apparently possessed by the ghost of Nancy Reagan. As for renewable energy, well, that’s oddly off the current administration’s to-do list, despite overwhelming bipartisan support for it.

5 Surprisingly Solvable Problems (America Can’t Figure Out)

huffingtonpost.com
Farmer Forced To Dump Insane Amount Of Gorgeous Cherries
"These cherries are beautiful! But we have to dump 14 percent."

This is one of the reasons why our agricultural system (in the US) sucks so bad. Designed to prop up prices, satisfy big ag, keep industrial ag financially healthy, and screw the hungry.

The story:

A bountiful harvest seems like a good thing. But not for a farmer in Michigan who says a federal regulation forced him to let 40,000 perfectly good tart cherries go to waste. Marc Santucci, who owns Santucci Farm in Traverse City, shared a picture on Facebook this week of tart cherries he dumped.   “These cherries are beautiful! But, we have to dump 14 percent of our tart cherry crop on the ground to rot,” Santucci wrote. “Why? So we can allow the import of 200 million pounds of cherries from overseas! It just doesn’t seem right.”

Crop yield also varies significantly from year to year. That’s one of the reasons the U.S. Department of Agriculture imposes an order on the industry, which growers and processors regularly agree to, that limits the amount of cherries that can be sold each year to match demand. The goal is to keep prices more stable for farmers. This year, there is a surplus of over 100 million pounds of tart cherries, according to the Detroit Free Press.

Sene and Solas.

Rooftop. Wedding night. As they appear in The Dead Season. Commission from the lovely @hansaera <3 Thank you, love. It’s beautiful. (Click the image to view in its full glory.)

So I’ve been working on dairy farms for the past six years or so, and whenever someone asks me about my worst experience, I always think of this.

About three years ago, I worked for a really great guy named David. Pay was good, cows were excellent, and the farm was well set up. Except for this one paddock.

I still don’t know what it was about paddock No. 47, but I’d get the worst case of heeby-jeebies (that’s the best way I can describe it) every time I went in there. Only in the dark, though, being in there in the light wasn’t a problem.

It’d start off with a simple shiver, and my brain telling me, “something isn’t right here.” Usually just after I’d opened the gate and patted the first few cows heading up to the dairy. Riding into the paddock, I’d get this feeling of unspeakable dread, and the further I got, the worse it would get.

Usually, I ended up freaking out and racing around the straggling cows, moving them at a faster pace than their regular ‘we’ll get there in our own damn time human’ waddle.

I still don’t know what caused it. That paddock was past of a seven-week pasture rotation for eight months of the year so I wasn’t in there very often. But I still remember that feeling of wrongness, and I haven’t felt anything like it since.

anonymous asked:

As a follow-up on the previous fill: now I'd really like to know more about the Goat Incident!

Previously on: The Goat Incident!

~~~

“Eleanor, Bucky?” Bruce looked up hopefully.

Bucky nodded.  “I can’t say too much.  Highly classified wartime efforts.”

“-That was like eighty years ago!”  Tony protested.  

Bucky slid into the spot on the couch between Falsworth and Dugan, who seemed to smile even wider, seeing Barnes again.  Apparently, this was not their first reunion.  Tony made a mental note to get to the bottom of that another time.

“All I can disclose is-“

“—The goat headbutted a HYDRA operative in the stomach so hard he passed out.  It raised the alarm on the perimeter and when reinforcements were called in, they had a laugh at the guard’s expense and it kept attention away so we could slip in.” Falsworth smiled.

Dugan laughed.  “Sarge is right, though.  Dernier did try to lure the goat away when we left.” He sighed.  “She had gumption.” 

“That’s it?”  Tony felt a little depressed.  “That’s the Eleanor story?” 

“Well,” Falsworth grinned.  “Dernier didn’t just try, he succeeded.  He got the goat to follow us.”

Barnes, Dugan, and Steve were stifling laughter, now.  

“And the Colonel,” Falsworth continued, “He didn’t take too kindly to her.”

“That was mostly because of his hat, though.” Steve managed, strained.

“There was more than one Goat Incident?”  Bruce looked far too curious for Tony’s comfort, which was saying something.  

“Pal,” Bucky grinned, “every day was a Goat Incident until she was Honorably Discharged.”

“What?” Tony sputtered.  “You can Honorably Discharge a goat.”

“Turns out you can,” Dugan corrected, “Though the Colonel wasn’t happy about that, either.  It found one of Peggy’s shoes.  It was the only agreement we could come to.”