workin door

i wrote a poem about ted cruz killing harambe for creative writing class and won a box of sour patch kids for it

its meant to be read aloud by two ppl; P1 is the first person, P2 is the second, and B is both

(picture via the verge. god bless)

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I had such an adventure today holy hell I wanna fight someone okA y

I was home alone, sitting in my room, door closed, workin on a bit of code

then I hear someone sneeze.

I SHOT UP and grabbed one of my knives and locked my door and pressed my ear to it to listen all the while trying desperately to keep my asshole from falling out. nothing. I unlock the door and after grabbing the meat cleaver from the kitchen I check the doors then creep from room to room checking every possible hiding place. 

the last place I get to is the guest room. I don’t see anyone. I get on my hands and knees to check under the bed. 

I lift the bed skirt. 

I’m met with another sneeze my feckin cat my OUTDOOR CAT I ALMOST FILLETED HIM THINKING HE WAS AN INTRUDER BUT NO IT WAS JUST NOODLE.