Writerly Fears Spilled into the Internet

I recently wrote out descriptions of my various story ideas for my brother, Joe. I wanted him to think I was actually accomplishing things over here, since he’s out there being a Marine and, you know, making a difference in the world. In a way it was actually helpful, because it reminded me of things about each idea that I had forgotten how much I loved, characters that had formed enough in my head to seem like they could just walk down the street any minute. I have four story ideas that I hope to someday write, in that magical perfect world where things go the right way. But the truth is, I don’t know where to start. I have four big story ideas, all of which have varying levels of complexity and levels of progress. I want to write them all at once, and yet when I stare at that blank white page…it terrifies me. I’ve yet to be able to write something that sounds as good as it did in my head, that displays the emotion in just the way I was trying to convey. The idea that I could suck at the one thing I’ve always wanted to do is too much to face. I know some of you guys have read what I’ve written, and thus may feel compelled to say something like “you’re a good writer, you’re being too hard on yourself” and so on. Or you might secretly be thinking, “Shoot. She’s caught on.” You can keep that to yourself, if that’s the case. 

I may have digressed, though i’m not sure what the point was in the first place. Here are things I thought I was going to say: 1) Everyone asks me what I’m going to do w/ my degrees and I make something up. Why don’t I ever tell people that I’m working on novels? That I want to be a writer? 2) I love the word “thus.” I just want to thus the shit out of things when I write. 3) Maybe I will write out the ideas, put them into a hat, and draw one out. Whichever one it is, that is the story I will focus on. Seriously, i mean it. 4) I’ve written 10 ¾ pages of my Alex story. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Which is why I write this in the first place. 5) I just want to have that book that I can shove in people’s faces and say “Here, I did this. Right here.” And there will be proof that I did something in this world. Especially the people who don’t think much of me, that I’m just that quiet kid who will smile sweetly but doesn’t seem like much beyond that.

Fëanor still, amazed I actually have gotten further on this, as I’ve been stuck for two days, but today it kinda loosened up and went along smoother at least! 😜 (and yes my Fëanor is incredibly blinged up because obviously!!! If Mairon is the Maia of bling then Fëanor is the Eldar of bling lol)

Caught a stomach bug 😞. Luckily my cat doesn’t mind keeping me company while I recover with bed rest. It’s also giving me a chance to practice more with the Procreate app. Currently sketching out ideas for this months character design challenge. 😄

Made with Instagram

Soon finished but I just had to show off the last sneak-peak of my Maglor :3 the colors are a little messed up here but I am completely in love so I hope you’ll like the finished product! ^^

No feeling in the world can be compared to the feeling of finally doing something right for once, and having the perfect vision for a drawing. Someone told me that you can only ever decide for yourself what you want to draw and that you need to figure out what it is, and it is so true. To try and draw without a vision or idea is useless!

So this is Elwë or Eru Thingol as he is later called, and Melian the Maia at their first meeting. They are the power-couple of middle earth and it was such a great feeling finally drawing them how I see them!

It is yet a Wip so I hope to finish soon! (And please don’t reblog without the description, but I live for your awesome tags so please reblog with your thoughts on the artwork ^^)

It’s been awhile since I posted a work in progress pic of anything. This is something I am working on while I work on a commission. If I get stuck on a commission I tend to jump on another drawing just to give my brain a break from staring at the same thing. Then when I feel like i’m ready to go back to the commission with fresh eyes i’ll jump back on the commission. This makes sure that neither drawing becomes to stale or static too. ;)

Note to anyone that is interested in a commission from me please feel free to contact me. I am still taking on new commissions. If you are interested you can find more information in regards to my commission prices and process here. :D


After a disappointing day Uni-wise I just felt the need to share the only kinda-successful part of my life right now.

My Maedhros is definitely growing, if it is for the better I have yet to find out, I certainly can’t see my self finishing him any time soon, I’ll probably ruin him before that, but I still have my hopes.

I do hope you like him, and in the meanwhile I’ll cry into my pillow how much I hate Uni life and all it contains.. Good night, beautiful people! ❤️