work out and study hard

“I came to America when I was six years old. Mom said she brought us here so that we’d have opportunities in life. She said that back in the Bahamas, it’s only the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots.’ She wanted us to have more choices. But I don’t think she fully understood how things work here. She was a news reporter back in the Bahamas. But the only job she could get here was taking care of oldpeople. My dad could only work construction. We moved to four different states just so they could find work. They always told me, ‘Just study hard in school and everything will work out fine.’ So that was my plan. I got all A’s up until the 11th grade– except for one B in math. My goal was to get top twenty in my class, then go to college, then get a degree, and then get a job. I realized the truth my senior year. My guidance counselor told me I couldn’t get a loan. I couldn’t get financial aid. Even if I could find a way to pay for school, I probably couldn’t get a job. I felt so mad at everyone. There were some kids who completely slacked off in school, but even they were going to college. I started having panic attacks. My dad told me not to worry. He called me a ‘doubting Peter.’ He invited all his friends over to a fish fry to help raise money. And he did get $3,000. But that wasn’t enough. So I searched really hard on the Internet and found the Dream.us scholarship. My mom was so excited when I got it. They’re paying for me to go to Queens College. Now my mom’s really scared again because DACA got revoked. She’s crying all the time at work. I try to tell her that no matter what happens, we’re not going to die. We just might have to start over.”

The Bet

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six  | Part Seven | Part Eight


“Ron… You can’t be serious.” Hermione breathed.

“What?”

“That’s just… Way too many phases.”

Harry was staring at the parchment between the three of them. The paper was settled on a small library table in the corner, mostly hidden from sight. The parchment was scribbled on with messy handwriting and blotches of ink were splattered in random places. Ron looked confusedly at both of them.

“What’s the issue?” Ron asked, glancing back at his handiwork.

“Ron,” Harry said exasperatedly. “You have a phase fifteen that’s only note is ‘trip and catch’. What does that mean?”

“That-” Ron started.

“I honestly don’t think you spent this much effort on trying to date me,” Hermione looked perplexed. “And I can’t tell if I’m offended or relieved.”

“It’s not-” Ron tried again.

“I think this is all too much for me. I should just ask him out.” Harry said, biting the inside of his cheek in disappointment.

“Excuse me,” Ron glared at the both of them. He grabbed his parchment and shook it in Harry’s face. “I’m not expecting you to go through all the phases! These are just backup phases until Malfoy cracks.”

“Wow. Hermione really is rubbing off on you,” Harry cocked an eyebrow.

“Oh, please,” Hermione rolled her eyes. “He’s only working so hard to get out of studying.”

“We went through a war, 'Mione! I don’t need any more essays!”

Harry laughed, “I agree with that.”

He glanced back at the parchment and a phrase caught his eye. He grabbed the notes from Ron, looking closer to make sure he didn’t imagine it.

“Make him jealous?”

“Yeah,” Ron shrugged. “That’s one of the most basic ways to get someone’s attention.”

“Only if the person would actually get jealous.” Harry pointed out.

Hermione snorted and the two boys looked at her with surprise. She went a bit pink, but still put on her best 'Obviously’ face. “Harry, please. Malfoy would get jealous of the quill you were holding if it meant he wasn’t getting attention from you.”

Harry blinked. “Huh?”

“You think so, 'Mione?” Ron asked, genuinely curious.

“It’s obvious.”

"Hm… Now that you say so, Malfoy does seem to notice Harry more than others,” Ron pondered. His eyes widened suddenly and he snatched the parchment out of Harry’s hands. “This may change the phase sequence!”

“Wha-?” Harry could feel a flush creeping up his cheeks.

“Harry, don’t be dense.” Hermione chided.

“I just don’t really agree with what you’re assuming,” Harry said.

Ron glanced up at Harry, a suspicious look on his face. “I’m confused. Did you just start liking Malfoy? Or has it been a secret crush for a few years? By the way, I’m a bit put out that you kept this from me, mate. Don’t think you’re getting out of this one.”

“I don’t-!”

“Harry, stop. If you hate him so much, then call off the bet.” Hermione offered.

“It’s not even his bet!” Ron snickered. “It’s Dean’s and Seamus’.”

“Maybe he should let it go. He doesn’t seem to be fully in it.” Hermione shrugged.

“But I spent so much work on the phases!” Ron pouted.

“You realize you have a potions essay.”

”'Mione, please. I’m in mourning. All my hard work… Gone to waste.“ Ron pretended to sniffle at the thought.

Harry rolled his eyes. He glanced towards the center of the library when he heard a voice reach their table. Malfoy was leaning against one of the bookshelves, grinning at Parkinson. Harry pursed his lips before determinedly standing up.

"You want me to go through with it?” Harry whispered towards the two. “Fine.

“What are you doing?” Hermione looked bewildered.

“Phase. Three.”

Harry heard Ron gasp with glee as he walked towards Malfoy, looking straight ahead. Harry didn’t want to risk any distractions.

Parkinson saw him first. She smirked and quickly waved a goodbye at Malfoy. Harry tentatively stopped right behind him, tapping him softly on the shoulder.

“Malfoy?”

Malfoy jumped, turning quickly towards him. He looked as though he wasn’t sure what expression to wear. He eventually settled on angry.

“What do you want, Potter?”

“Er,” Harry rubbed his neck, hoping it made him look as nervous as he actually was. “I was hoping I could ask you something.”

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lip twitching. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah. It’s just…” Harry sighed, looking at the floor. He hoped he was selling this. “It’s a bit awkward considering our history.”

The tone of Malfoy’s voice changed slightly. “Oh.”

“I was wondering…” Harry looked up at him, trying his best to look into his eyes. The trouble was that they were so grey, it was difficult to continue his act. And… Was it just Harry’s imagination or did Malfoy almost look hopeful? “I was just wondering… Could I borrow a quill?”

Malfoy’s face fell. “Excuse me?”

“I just need to borrow a quill, but I know how you are with your things. Mine broke and Hermione and Ron don’t have extras.” Harry tried his best to look innocent.

“I… Yeah, okay.” Malfoy dug through his bag and pulled out a white feathered quill. “Here.”

Harry reached for it and their hands brushed against each other briefly before the quill was suddenly pulled away.

“Wait… That’s all you came here to ask?” Malfoy narrowed his eyes at him.

“Er… Yeah?” Harry said.

Malfoy sneered. “What are you playing at, Potter?”

Harry blinked, trying to look clueless. “Sorry?”

“What is your damage?” Malfoy practically snarled. The few who were in the library glanced over at them with interest. Malfoy seemed to have noticed because he was suddenly shouting at Harry in a hushed whisper. “You ignore me, push me around and barely show me any common decency for weeks!”

Harry almost corrected him, saying it was only a few days, but he thought better of it. “Oh, so you show me common decency all the time?” Harry challenged.

“I-” Malfoy looked taken back. He quickly regained his composure. “Recently, yes. And it’s not as though you’ve been so cold this year, either. Until now!”

“Oh? Have I been cold, Malfoy?” A sudden surge of confidence hit Harry. He stepped closer to Malfoy, the space between them only inches now. “What would you rather I be, then? Warm?”

“E-excuse me?” Malfoy stuttered.

“You seem to be unhappy with how I’ve been treating you. Why not enlighten me? How would you like to be treated?” Harry smirked, looking up at Malfoy with heavy eyes. He had no idea where this attitude was coming from, but it was working. He hoped it would last.

“W-wh- I don’t care how you treat me!” Malfoy tried to take a step back, but was met with the hardness of the bookshelf behind him.

“You sure?” Harry practically purred. “Because you seemed awfully angry at how rude I’ve been. And you seemed to have thought I was coming over here for a reason… Other than a quill, of course.”

“I… Just thought it was to apologize for your behavior.” Malfoy sniffed haughtily.

“Oh? And how would you like me to apologize?” Harry asked.

He watched Malfoy gulp, staring down at him with wide, intense eyes. His cheeks were pink, slightly darker than his ears. Harry never noticed it before, but he had tiny, almost transparent freckles scattered on his cheekbones. They cascaded slowly towards his nose, where only a few resided on the tip of it. Harry might have counted them if Malfoy didn’t open his mouth to speak.

“You…” He started off slowly, as if afraid of what he was going to say, “Should apologize to me by-”

“Harry!”

Suddenly, a body was wedging itself between them. Dean was smiling down at him, pushing him away from Malfoy.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, mate! Listen, I have this very cute friend who is very interested in you. And since you aren’t dating anyone right now, I figured-”

Dean went on like that, blabbing about some random suitor he had lined up. Harry strained to look around him. His heart dropped when he saw Malfoy stomping out the library entrance.

Dean poked Harry in the arm, “So, what do you think?”

“Huh?”

“Dean!” Seamus popped up behind Harry, making him jump. Seamus ignored him, however, and grabbed Dean by his jacket. “That was cheating!”

Dean snickered, “Where’s the rulebook?”

Seamus glared at him, “I will make one, so help me, Merlin.”

“I’d like to see you spend more than five minutes on that.”

“I will!” Seamus started dragging Dean away. “And I get to interfere once now, to make it even!”

Harry stared dumbfoundedly at them. He felt two figures come up behind him and a hand clap his shoulder.

“You got really close, Harry,” Hermione said sympathetically.

“Yeah, mate. Really good run.” Ron chimed in.

Harry nodded solemnly. He was so close. He knew that Malfoy was going to… Well, do something. Ron’s plan almost worked, but Harry guessed they just needed more time.

“Hey, look on the bright side, Harry.”

“Hm?”

“You bumped right past phase three all the way to phase ten: jealousy!” Ron grinned at him. “On to phase eleven!”

“Oh, Merlin, what’s that?” Hermione grimaced.

Ron grinned wickedly, shoving the notes he made under their noses.

Harry groaned.


This is twice as long as the other ones ooooh boy we in it now lads. Thank you for the demands for another part. It was equally flattering and overwhelming. I’m tagging everyone who wanted to be tagged under the cut. If I forgot to tag you I’m deeply sorry.  

Keep reading

How to Pull an All-Nighter (The RIGHT Way!)

Step 1: Have a Plan & Come Prepared - Know what you need to study and how you are going to study for it.  Set a goal for yourself, a few good studying goals include:

  • Copying all important points from notes into a study guide / cram guide.
  • Re-reading one or several chapters of your textbook and taking notes as needed.
  • Creating a complete set of flash cards and going through the set a certain number of times.

If you have a project due, gather everything you need and don’t stop until it is done.

Make sure you have all of the study material and snackage that you need to keep you going all night long.

Drinks and snacks?  Check.

Textbooks?  Notes?  Check, Check.

Index Cards, Highlighters, Sharpies, and Pens?  Checkity Check!


Step 2: Take a Nap -  No, not in the middle of your all nighter.  But if it looks like you may have to pull an all-nighter, it will be beneficial if you can get 1-2 hours of sleep sometime during the day before.  You will want to make sure to wake up before 9 p.m., or risk your body trying to put you to sleep for the rest of the night!

When you get out of bed, it is sometimes helpful to pile other things on the bed to prevent you from laying down *just for a second* the rest of the night.  


Step 3: Set An Alarm -  Not everyone can make it through every all nighter, and inevitably you will fall asleep during at least one of your midnight study attempts.  There is no shame in this.  
However, there is shame in accidently sleeping through your final exam, or your big presentation.  Set an alarm for about 30 minutes before you actually need to wake up.  This gives you a little extra time to get your sleepy head going in the morning if you DO fall asleep, and allows you to get to a stopping point before you start your day if you have managed to make it through the night and are still going.


Step 4: Hydration, Hydration, Hydration! -  If you stay properly hydrated it will be MUCH easier to stay awake.  Not to mention it will be much easier on your body the next day.
Aim to drink two 8oz glasses of water (or one standard 16oz bottle) every hour or two.  It will keep you awake and alert, and help your body deal with lack of sleep stress.


Step 5: Snack Smart Make sure your snacks aren’t pure sugar or all junk- Here are some excellent snacks for all nightersPizza - It has carbs in the crust and protein in the cheese, great for giving you energy all night long.  Order a large when you’re starving and snack on it the rest of the night!Cheese & Crackers - Also has those carbs and protein.  If you want more food, add cut up lunchmeats! Apples, Peaches, Bananas, and Pears - Fresh fruit is packed full of complex carbs and natural sugars!  Dried fruit is tasty too.Sandwiches - Packed full of things to keep you awake and thinking, sandwiches are always a great choice for study sessions.  Take a good 10 minute break and make yourself a sandwich.


Step 6: Lighting is Key! -  Keep your study room brightly lit to avoid any dim-lighting drowsiness.  A good desk lamp or two can make a world of difference in your attention span!

If you find your eyelids getting heavy, stare at a dim spot in your room and slowly move your eyes toward the lights.  This lighting motion will help simulate a sunrise and wake you up!


Step 7: Don’t Allow Distractions -  Turn OFF your phone (and no, that doesn’t mean vibrate or silent.) and unless about absolutely need it, turn off your Internet connection.

Music is fine in the background - some people study better to it - as long as it doesn’t distract you.


Step 8: No Procrastination, Just Get Started! -  One of the hardest things is kicking off your all nighter.  Truth-be-told, you just have to jump in and begin.  You have your plan, your snacks, and you know what you must do.  In the words of Yoda.
 Do, or do not.  There is no try.


So friends go ahead, study hell out of books, and just work hard..

Best of luck for finals….!!!

Love…. xoxo 

So after a lot of love for my grid, I have managed to source a few more! Which means I will be selling them so you can get one too (I know in SA they are close to impossible to find)😁🙌🏼 They are perfect to organize your home office and create a beautiful Scandi-style, minimal mood board.

Dimensions: 60cm(w) x 90cm(h)
Price: R400 excluding delivery
Colour: Matt black (you can request alt colours for custom grid)
Material: Steel 4mm thick

DM me to place your order or find out more!

DATING TODDY SMITHY WOULD INCLUDE:

requested by @nicolerachel12  <3


  • him dragging you to the gym every other morning because he wants to do cute couple work-out things he saw on instagram that one time
  • him encuradging you to study hard and follow your dreams. after an hour or so of you actually doing what he inspired you to do he comes knocking and cuddlin’ and being a nuisence in the best possible way
  • trips to the beach
  • you not minding at all him taking off his shirt for filming
  • you actually wish he would just walk around naked the whole time tbh
  • movie dates with lot’s of popcorn and soda
  • matching halloween outfits. the two of you show up at a party, hand in hand, and that’s how he announces to the world that you two are dating
  • going out to dinner at least once a week and getting drunk together, filming the most ridiculous shit you can imagine
  • cigarettes after sexTM
  • him introducing you to his family because he seriously thinks you are the one
  • you not realizing how serious he is about this
  • him getting extra jealous when dudes try to flirt with you at parties. you accept the free drinks and later try to calm toddy down because he threatens to punch the guys face in
  • helping dobrik prank him
  • dobrik helping toddy prank you
  • snapchatting him when he isn’t looking and captioning it like ‘my mans’ or ‘hubba hubba’ for irony purposes of course
  • going to every concert you can get tickets too and vibing all night long
  • taking polaroids together
  • him always calling you ‘babe’ or ‘babygirl’ 


2

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a good break! I’m finally back after having like a month hiatus 😅 Good news is I’m back and feeling more productive than ever; I’ve also started a bullet journal which is honestly so helpful for organisation!

🌻✨Remember to look after yourself this year and don’t work so hard you burn yourself out ✨🌻

ezlou  asked:

can you tell us more about how you study art outside of a formal setting (ie art school, art courses etc)

Sure! I enjoy discussing this sort of thing :-)
This is all and only my personal experience:

I dropped out of my course due to several factors, overall: it wasn’t for me. Working from home is good for me at this point in time.

—–Only very recently I had decided to put most of my current focus towards doing studies/practice
—– It’s easier for me to dedicate more time to this now due to some personal reasons, AND because it’s exciting for me now. Everyone is different, and it can be risky to rely purely on motivation, however being excited to do studies and increase my understanding for art of COURSE helps a TON in drawing more.
—– I know that focusing on study+improvement+fundamentals will benefit myself as an artist immensely. I see it as an investment. When I thought about what my goals in art were-what my goals in life are overall, it made sense to me, to become determined about my artistic improvement. 


I thought hard about where I want my art to go, what I want my art to be.
what im practising to make this happen: 

  • Life drawing: since very recently, i’ve begun drawing from life routinely. Basically I go to starbucks once a week, and draw people for a couple hours. It helps, and it feels rewarding when I recognise in any moment that im drawing x thing better bc of starbucks draw-sessions lol
  • Painted photo studies: preferably I would also practice painting from life as well, however I do not have the means to do this currently, so photos will suffice. I typically time myself for a 30-40 minute study, and do it. Repeat. I try to think about what I’m seeing, why, the colours, and experiment with my process. (remember to take breaks! I like using pomodoro timers)
  • Drawing faces from photos, as warm-ups in my sketchbook. Pretty simple.

Right now, that’s it! I’ll be going to the zoo soon for some fun animal draws :-) though I’m focusing on doing painted studies, cause I wanna be a good painter! :D 
Of course, which fundamentals I choose to focus on may change, for instance, this week I am practising perspective/architecture for my warm-up sketches. Practising any fundamental will feed into the others. 

Through out the day I remind myself to observe my surroundings. To think about the colours around me, why things look the way they do, what shape they are, how would I paint this? Training my eye, training my observational skills, will help increase my understanding overall, and will help me get better at ANY fundamental I practice. 

For me, it is not really about setting a strict structured way of learning for myself. (week 1, faces, week 2 one-point perspective, or sticking to an online course) more about improving myself and my habits and well-being, so that I get the most out of everything, including art studies. Hard-work in art is important, however I am expecting it to lead to smart-work, eventually. 

Bangtan reaction to you not eating properly because of stress

A/n: can you do an bts reaction to you not eating right(and maybe even passing out) bc your stressed from exams

Thank you for requesting, and sorry it took so long! xx

Keep reading

Just an old photo this evening 😊 Had an super interesting day at the ER today,tons of sprained ankles, broken hips, cuts and so much more. Somehow the 10ish hours there just seemed to fly by🏥and then it was home to work on budgets and school related things. Now, I0’m ready to pass out ✌🏻💤♥️

dandeservestheworld  asked:

Hi! Could I request a Dan x MC study date HC? :)

Study Date With Dan! (Co-Written by the lovely and amazing @dissonants-13, find a few snipets of her writing Just Friends (Damien x M!MC) and I Won’t Come Back (Lucas x MC) and Unprofessional (Adrian x MC) and Cold (Becca x MC) and Him & I (Dan x F!MC AU) and Degrees of Guilt (Kenji/Grayson/MC) (Kaitlyn x MC) I couldn’t pick just one. lmfao.)

  • Dan invites MC on a study date, he needs help with his college chemistry class, it’s always been one of his downsides, and one of the reasons he was almost kicked off the football team so he really needs to study
  • They go to Dan’s and spread out across the entire kitchen table (much to his roommates dismay, not that he’d mention it) all of his scribbled notes and homework sheets laying in scattered piles, as him and MC sort through what he needs to do to get on track and pass his upcoming test.
  • MC brings all of Dan’s favorite snacks, two obnoxiously large water bottles, and Dan’s favorite slushy that usually makes him feel relaxed and helps him to study better, Dan enjoys study dates because he knows how to push MC’s buttons in a fun way.
  • Dan right off the bat is cracking jokes, he doesn’t waste any time to make stupid chemistry puns and innuendos. As much as MC tries to pretend it doesn’t make them laugh, they always fail.
    • “Maybe we were made to be. We have the chemistry after all.”
    • “I swear to god, if you don’t shut the fuck up I will leave.”
    • This always makes Dan smirk and knows he’s doing the right amount of puns and jokes.
  • Dan’s an athlete so he would want to excel, but he’s also would be bit hyper and having trouble sitting still. He tries his hardest to stay still he knows how important this is for him.
  • Dan’s kind of lighthearted about studying because he knows MC will keep him on track if he sways too far, he loves teasing them and being flirtatious. It’s what makes studying fun for him.
  • MC worries a lot about Dan, they can see how much he puts his all into everything and how hard he’s been working to make sure everything goes smoothly for him, that sometimes he forgets to do normal people things like eat and take a shower.
    • Dan, baby, don’t forget to eat 3 times today. You gotta get your nutrients in. And that doesn’t mean skip lunch and eat a candy bar or something.”
    • He texts back, “Yeah yeah mom, thanks.”
    • “I read the texts you sent to your mom and I want you to know I sound nothing like her asshat.”
  • MC reminds him to take a breather as well and forces him to go on dates with them when he gets into funks because of school and studying and sports, it’s a lot fo one person to handle after all and he’s too young to be driving himself into his grave already.
  • “You can’t be a star athlete and an academic and be involved in other clubs and stuff and have a social life all at the same time. You can stay in book club, but you have to give up student government. You’ll overwork yourself.”
  • Dan is easy going and plays it off a bit, but deep down he’s definitely anxious about not passing and not being allowed to play football. It’s his biggest fear no matter what he’s been through he’s always had ball and losing it would kill him inside and he knows it.
  • MC can pick up sighs that’s having an episode or a panic over his grades and football he fiddles with his hands, MC’s hands, or even a pen. MC takes his hands into their own with a comforting smile reminds him everything will be okay, they go out of their way to not sound pitying because they know how much Dan hates that.
  • During their study dates, MC picked up on how Dan learns best, visually. The same way he would learn all his football plays is a good technique to focus him, so MC would go to heaps of trouble to colour code and diagram for him, and use whiteboards so they can draw and rub off and Dan can see things big scales.
  • Dan always expresses his gratitude for MC doing all that for little ol’ him and MC brushes it off and tells him it’s nothing to worry about what so ever, they’d always do it for him.
  • Towards the end of the study date, Dan gets really bored, it’s almost been two hours and MC is still talking to him about boring chemistry shit that he couldn’t care less about, and wants to do anything to distract them from studying. He moves his chair closer to MC and leans in pressing a soft kiss to their neck.
  • MC tries to pretend they want to study more for Dan’s benefit even though they’d rather give in and let Dan kiss their neck and then their lips and make out instead of learning about differential equations.
    • “I need to kiss you, it’s for science.”
    • “You’re thinking of biology, not chemistry, Dan.”
  • MC always caves and they make out instead of finishing up the last tidbits of their studying sessions.
  • And on test day, Dan goes into the zone like he would on a game day, and MC is stressing out like crazy and is so annoyed that he’s not freaking out too. Dan always shrugs it off and tells them to stop getting so worked up for no reason he’s gonna ace this test the confidence he’s inherited from being a natural-born athlete. 
  • But he does do little things that MC knows are for reassurance, like hand holding and superstitious good luck kisses.
  • When the grades are going to be posted dan and MC get together to celebrate dan’s hard work and even if he bombed it they celebrate to him at least trying, and knowing that his hard work paid off even if not in this test, but the next. Dan feels sad when he fails, but MC always brightens his mood consistently. 
  • He loves how much MC cares about him and what happens with his grades, he looks at them like he’s a walking heart eyes emoji!
    • “What if I don’t pass?” 
    • You will. We did all the work.” 
    • “But what if I don’t - I can’t not play football, it’s who I am.” 
    • “Not true. Hypothesis denied. You’re smart and talented and the hardest worker I know, and you will pass for sure. But even if you didn’t, you know I would help you with every piece of extra credit we can get you so you can play football.”
    • “You always know how to fix me MC. I love you.”
    • “I love you, Dan.”

anonymous asked:

Can u do one where Josh is using you for sex? And you don't realize it until he has to spell it out for you and you are completely heartbroken. Happy ending tho please, however you decide to do it. (Like maybe Josh is actually crushing on you, but doesn't realize it till you leave?)

this was soo much longer than i intended wowowow, enjoy!! xx.

JOSH DUN IMAGINE

Your phone vibrates halfway through your shift, leaving it a good four hours to just steadily burn a hole in your pocket.  You secretly wonder if the text is from him.  You spend the afternoon pouring coffee and bussing tables, trying to put the boy from last night out of your mind.  It doesn’t work, and the longer you ignore the text, the more you find yourself hoping it’s him.  

Needless to say, the next four hours drag on.  Normally, you’d have time to sneak away for a minute just to peak at your phone, but Saturday’s at the cafe were always busy, so despite your curiosity, you were forced to wait.  

“Any fun plans for the rest of the weekend?” your boss asks once the closed sign has been flipped and you were scrubbing the final dish in the sink.

“Not a whole lot,” you say honestly.  You wipe your damp hands on your apron before shrugging it off from around your neck, hanging it up for the weekend.  Once your hands were dry, you could finally pull your phone out of your pocket, clicking the home button and smiling widely at the name flashing across your screen, the one you’d saved in your contacts just last night.  You swallow the lump in your throat and try to cover up your sudden excitement, “I’ve got some school work I should be catching up on.”

“Well try to have a little fun, won’t you?” she says, rubbing your shoulder gently, “Be safe, see you Monday,” she calls on her way out.  

You wave, offering her a soft smile before she’s out the door.  

You were finally free to open the text message.  

You slide to the right, shaking your head realizing that if it is him, you’d have to save his contact as “guy from the bar” or something. You’re only slightly ashamed that you never did learn his name.  

hoping you had as much fun as i did last night’ one of the messages read, and then another a couple of hours later, ‘sitting here… hoping you wrote down the right number

You bite back a smile before typing a response, ‘so sorry! ive been at work all day.  i had fun last night too!

There was a big part of you that felt ashamed for having sex with a guy you’d met at a shabby bar.  You’d spent the latter part of the morning beating yourself up about it.  It was unlike you to go out at night, let alone go home with the most tattooed guy in the place.  But he was just so captivating, sitting across the bar with his bright, pink-dyed hair and electric smile.  He made small talk with everyone around him, laughing and socializing like being in a grungy bar at half-past two was the most normal thing in the world.  And once his caramel eyes locked with yours, your mind turned to mush.  

You had morals.  Standards even.  But his voice was so sweet and his words were so methodical.  Even the way he sauntered over was magical.  More of a glide than a walk.  How could someone look so good in just black jeans and a t-shirt.  

“You’re all alone,” he observed, tilting his drink in your direction.

Your eyes widened, surprised that this obviously interesting boy was talking to you, of all people.  

You nod, your tongue numb, your mind blank.  Suddenly you forgot how to form sentences.  

He chuckles at your blank stare, “No offense, but what’re you doing hanging out at a place like this on a Friday night?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” you defend, insecure about him pointing out your solitude.  You were always insecure about your socialization skills.  You’d always been quiet, more comfortable alone than with people.  

“Fair point,” the boy says, taking a seat next to you and looking straight ahead as he sipped his beer, “we’re both loners then.”

“Loner has such a negative connotation,” you contest.  

He chuckles, “Is there a term you like better?”

“We’re socializing,” you point out, “so technically I’m not completely alone.  But yeah, ‘flying solo’ has a little more dignity to it.”

The boy raises his eyebrow along with his beer bottle, “To flying solo then,” he says, and you clink your drinks together.  

He starts asking questions about you after that.  He’s so curious about where you come from and what your passions were.  He asked about music taste.  Favorite bands, favorite genres, favorite instruments.  You ask back, of course.  But he doesn’t seem too inclined to talk about himself.  

Of course the cute tattooed boy had to be mysterious as well.  

You could have said no after he threw a wad of cash on the bar and extended his hand towards you.  The words lingered on the tip of your tongue, waiting for a breath of air to tip them over the edge, but then you heard the voices of your family and friends echoing through your mind.  Everyone was always telling you to be more carefree, have fun, let loose.  They were never hesitant to point out that you studied too much, worked too hard.  With their imagined encouragements in the background, you bit your lip and took his hand, letting this mysterious figure lead you across the room and out the door.  He held tight and didn’t look back, weaving through the street and all the way to his second-floor apartment.  

The bed wasn’t made and there were clothes scattered on the floor.  You had knots in your stomach once the sudden realization of what you’d decided to do sunk in, but the minute that he brushed your cheek with the pad of his thumb and pressed his lips to yours, all of that melted away.

____________________

You tip-toed around his room hastily.  You felt panicked, wondering what the hell you’d just done.  You kicked stuff around, looking for your other shoe in the dark.  Your ears pounded with shame and guilt and you desperately needed to inhale some fresh air.  Just as you were about to give up on your shoe and bolt out the door, the boy let out a loud sigh.  You turned and looked at him, laying on his stomach, sleeping peacefully under the one blanket he had on his bed.  His heavy breathing filled the room, you let your face ease up, gazing at the resting face of the boy you’d just slept with.  

He was gentle and soft and kind and as much shame you felt, you had to admit that you didn’t completely regret it.  

You grab a sticky note from his desk and scribble out a note to leave behind, your number and the indication that you did, in fact, have a good time.  

You quietly shut the door behind you, smiling without realizing it and oblivious to the fact that you had only one shoe on as you walked home.  

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to see the boy again.  You were hopeful that his text would lead to a possible invitation, but you tried not to get your hopes up.  You were timid about rejection.  

You’re only two steps out the door of the cafe when your phone buzzes again.  The boy from the bar was quick to respond.  

Any chance you’d want to do it again sometime?

Your smile’s so big, your skin starts to hurt from stretching.  

of course’ you reply.  

just name the time and place’ he types back.

your house? 10 minutes?’

‘you got it.’

You chuckle at your own spontaneity and hesitate only briefly before replying, ‘see you in 10’

The speed of sound barely has time to disperse your knock before the door is swinging open and a puff of pink hair is pouncing on you.  His lips press firmly to yours and he takes your bag off from your shoulder, tossing it on the chair, and wrapping his arms around your waste in one swift, motion.  

“You actually came,” he says, smiling against your lips.

“I said I would,” you say breathlessly.

He wastes no time in helping you shrug off your jacket.  

He seems rushed and desperate, but just as gentle as the night before.  

You go until you can’t anymore.  Until you’re both left in a panting heap on his bed, wrapped in sweat and sheets, staring up at the ceiling, your limbs intertwined.  

“I’m Josh, by the way,” he says, laughing slightly.  He holds his hand in the air for you to shake.  

You cup your hand over your mouth, covering the giggle that bubbles in your chest.  “Y/N,” you say, taking his hand and making your first introductions.  

You actually stick around for a bit this time, laying in Josh’s bed, talking.  He’s still a bit hesitant to talk about himself.  After some significant probing, he does finally tell you where he’s from and that tells you that him and his best friend are in the early stages of starting a band, says they’ve even toured around the U.S. a few times.  He talks about the music and the logistics of it all.  He also tells you about how much he can’t wait to get out of Columbus.  And when he asks where you’d like to go in the world, you feel stupid because you’ve barely left the midwest.  He’s traveled a lot, you can just tell.  Your waitressing job and useless English major pail in comparison to Josh’s adventures.  

It’s your growling stomach that snaps you back into reality.  You check your phone and realize hours have passed since you stopped by.  

“Was that your stomach or a monster under my bed?” Josh asks, leaning up enough to laugh at you.  

You hide your face in embarrassment before sitting up and dangling your feet off the bed.  

“I haven’t eaten since like eleven this morning,” you say, trying to defend yourself.

“Okay then, I have a very serious question for you,” Josh says, “Do you like waffles?”

Josh drives to this diner that’s only a few miles away.  It’s tucked away on the corner of a deserted intersection and you’re surprised you’d never even noticed it after all the years you’d lived in Columbus.  

You sit in a booth across from Josh and slurp down the chocolate shake he insisted you order.  It really was delicious.  

“Make sure you get every last drop,” Josh chuckles after you started sucking up nothing but air, making a loud obnoxious noise with your straw.  

You laugh out loud and push your milkshake to the side, slightly disappointed that you’d drank it so quickly.  

You end up ordering something on the menu titled “Hungry Trucker’s Special” upon Josh’s suggestion.  It’s accompanied by two large waffles, bacon, eggs, and toast.  Your eyes widen when the giant plate is laid in front of you and you look at him in disbelief.

“You expect me to eat this?” you say in disbelief.

He laughs and starts digging into his much smaller plate.  

Aside from your bulging waist band, the evening was nice.  Josh talks more about himself, telling you a bit about his family and more about his band.  He has a way of telling stories that just makes you want to listen.  Not that he’s a wordsmith or whatever, but he’s just so interesting.  Everything about him intrigues you, to the point where whenever he asks you a  question, you feel like it’s a waste of time, because you’re  no where near as fascinating.  

You’re sad to see the evening end, but you thank Josh for such a fun night before heading home.  He even suggests that you do it again sometime, which sends your stomach into flip mode.  

You think a lot about Josh in the following days.  You’re not sure what the protocol for this type of situation was, but when two days go by without any word, you decide to shoot him a text.  

It goes unanswered.  

And you’re disappointed in yourself when you realize how bothered by it you are.  

You run through various scenarios in your head, wondering if you did something weird or came off too strong.  Were you too desperate?  Too clingy?  You shouldn’t have texted first.  That was a bad move.  

Tuesday rolls around and another shift at the cafe starts.  You talk to your boss about your mellow Sunday and continue taking orders and wiping table surfaces.  You think you’re going crazy when a puff of pink hair flashes in the door just as the bell rings.  You refuse to do a double take until a sweet, familiar voice rings through the shop.  You look up from the table you’re taking an order from and see Josh walking into the cafe with a brown haired boy, around the same age as him, and a pretty blonde.  They sit in the window seat, Josh on one side of the table, his friend and the blonde on the other.  

You have to force your attention back on your current customer and finish their order before you head over with three menus and your pad of paper.  

“Hi there,” you say, as calm as possible.  

Josh looks up from his phone, his face surprised.  “Y/N,” he says.  “You work here?”

You nod smiling, “Glamorous waitress, I know,” you chuckle.  

Josh’s friend and the girl are looking at Josh for an explanation.  He finally clears his throat before introducing you.  “Tyler, Jenna, this is Y/N, um… a friend.  Y/N, this is Tyler and Jenna.”

You cringe slightly at the ‘friend’ label he threw at you, but you give them both a smile.  “Nice to meet you,” you say warmly.  

“Aw yeah, Josh mentioned something about a girl from the bar,” Tyler says, positioning his body so he was facing you better.  “This is a sick place to work, very modern, very aesthetic.”

You chuckle at his description, but he seemed genuine about his statement, not condescending of any sort.  

“Yeah, it’s not bad.  I mean, it’s not a rock band or anything but we all have to make due.”

“You’ve heard of us?” he says excitedly, flashing his white teeth your way.  

“Josh told me,” you clarify.

“Way to promo, bro,” Tyler says happily, nudging Josh from across the table.  “Hey, we’re having a gig tonight in Columbus, you should come.”

“Really?” You look excitedly at Josh, but he was staring at Tyler instead.  

“Yeah, totally,” Tyler says.  “Can’t promise you’ll like our tunes, but there’s a bar there, so you can’t lose, really.”

You chuckle, absentmindedly flipping the page in your notebook, thinking that by the looks of it, Josh wasn’t even the one who wanted you there.  He’d barely looked at you this whole conversation.  But Tyler’s hopeful ‘common’, persuades you and you think what the hell.  “Yeah, okay.  I’ll go.”

You find yourself regretting that promise shortly before it was time to leave.  You stood in front of the mirror, rustling your hair and trying to flatten out the wrinkly fabric of your shirt.  You couldn’t help but remember the way Josh blatantly ignored you at the cafe.  You wondered if he was just as ashamed of your one night stand as you originally were.  

You sighed heavily, cracking your neck to the side, and determining that if you didn’t leave now, you’d be late.  

You send Josh a text message just for good measure, letting him know you were on your way and excited to see him play.  This time he actually responded.  A simple, ‘awesome,’ with a smiley face emoji.  Enough to keep you intrigued.  

The venue was close by.  You were grateful for the amount of parking spaces vacated considering  the fact that you didn’t think you could walk very far in the heels you managed to squeeze on.  The venue was like a small club, the music was playing through these giant speakers and there were dimly lit blue and green lights flashing.  The people were shoulder to shoulder, dancing, swaying, jumping, drinking.  

Tyler had instructed you that they would be starting at eleven, so you had about fifteen minutes to kill.  The stage was set up, drums and a piano, but no sight of your Josh or Tyler.  You squeezed your way up to the front. Not like anyone cared that much anyway, and found your place on the left side of the stage against the rail the security had set up.  

You felt awkward, standing alone with nothing but a phone and small wallet in your hand.  You nervously twist your hair between your fingers and wander back to earlier in the day.  Josh didn’t seem to thrilled with Tyler inviting you to the gig.  Part of you couldn’t blame him.  I mean it’s not like you two were together or anything.  You’d only slept together.  Twice.  And talked all night wrapped up in each others arms.  

You shake the image out of your head.  You were overthinking it.  All of it.  This was just supposed to be for fun, to prove you weren’t a stick in the mud.  You never intended to actually have feelings for Josh.  Therefore you can’t blame him if they weren’t reciprocated.  You were a one night stand (or two nights in this case).  Just the girl at the bar.  You’d watch the show tonight, then you’d go.  Because one night stands didn’t stick around.

Suddenly, the flashing blue lights stop and the entire room goes dark.  At first you think it’s trouble with the circuit or something, but then you hear this faint humming noise and realize it’s all part of their act.  After an excruciating amount of time just waiting in the dark, you watch as the two of them finally take the stage, Josh taking a seat at the drums and Tyler sauntering over towards the microphone.  

They put on an incredible show and you can’t even deny it.  You watch, in awe, not knowing any of their lyrics or even understanding half the words Tyler’s spewing out so quickly, but you’re energized and you’re hooked on the way he puts so much effort into it.  They’re nothing like the two, awkward boys you spoke to in a cafe earlier.  There’s motive behind their eyes and fire erupting around them.  

Josh keeps looking at you.  You grip onto the rail in front of you and can’t help but notice every time his eyes flicker your way.  Your heart palpitates every time your eyes lock with his.  You can’t help it, the boy was just so damn intriguing.  

After a night of full night of entertainment and unexpected surprises, including a back flip and Tyler diving head-first into the crowd, the boys finally wrap up their show.  Your heart pounds in your chest as everyone cheers so loudly once they exit.  You’re thrilled and excited and all the more fascinated with Josh.

But then you remember the promise you made to yourself before the show.  You’d watch, and then you’d leave.  That was the way it had to be.  So you squeeze your way out of the crowd, muttering ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry’ to all the people you crash into and make your way back to the door, pushing it open and walking towards your car.  

You feel shitty, overwhelmed and messy.  Like who were you to fall for the guy that picked you up at a bar?  The one with pink hair and one set of dishes in his cabinet.  You squeeze your eyes shut because it was stupid.  It had been less than a week.  You shouldn’t be feeling this bad about walking away.

You sit in your car, pulling out your phone to check the time when you realize Josh had called you, only minutes ago.  You bite your lip, wondering if you should call back.  Instead, you wait.  But you don’t have to wait for long.  A text from Josh comes in.

‘Where’d you go?’ He asks.

heading to my car’ is all you respond.

wait up, i’ll be right there’ Josh types back, almost immediately.  You bite your lip, pocketing your phone, before getting out of your car.  You lean against the door as you stuff both of your hands in your pockets and breathing in the cool night air.

“Y/N!” you hear Josh call from across the parking lot.  

You turn and look at where his voice came from.  He had just exited the back entrance door to the venue and he was running over, still in the same tank top that he performed in.  

“Hey,” you say as he gets closer.  

“Were you gonna take off?” he asks, “without saying hi?”

“Well, I just figured you’d be busy after the show—“ you say, trying not to look like such an asshole.  “So I thought I’d just head out…”

“Well I was hoping maybe you could keep me busy…” Josh’s voice trails off.

You should say no.  Your emotional wellbeing is begging you to say no.  You just weren’t made for the hit-it-and-quit-it lifestyle.  But Josh’s hair is damp with sweat and he’s still breathing heavy and it just isn’t fair the way he’s biting his lip and looking at you.  So you nod your head yes, knowing you’d regret it later, but not really caring much about that now and you let Josh lead you back into the venue.  He squeezed your hand tightly, intertwining your fingers and leading the way to a small storage unit out back.  You cringe at the musty smell, but the minute he presses his lips against yours, you’re overcome with everything Josh.

When you’re both finished, left panting and naked, clothes scattered throughout the storage room, you cling to him, your fingers digging into the flesh of his biceps, your head resting on his sweaty shoulder.  

Neither of you speak.  Your hot breathes fill the air.  You stay like that until Josh’s phone starts vibrating in his pocket.  You step away from him, hastily grabbing your clothes and trying to pull them back on.  

“Hello?”  Josh answers his phone.  

“Uh— yeah.. I’ll be there in just a sec…” he pauses as he tries to pull his pants on, “what?  No I was just trying to find a shower— shut up. I’ll be right there.”  

Josh hangs up the phone before grabbing the rest of his wardrobe and dressing himself.  

“That was Tyler,” he says, “just wondering where I was.”

“Oh, are you guys doing something tonight?” you ask casually, hoping that maybe Josh would invite you along.

“Not really, just me him and Jenna are grabbing a bite to eat.”

Clearly not an invitation.  

“Right,” you say quietly, “I’ll just get going then-“

“Are you hungry?” he asks.

You look up just as you were gripping the door handle.

“Cause I don’t know if you like pizza, or whatever, but if you’re hungry, you could come.”

“Really?”

“I mean— if you wanted to,” he says.  

You nod slowly before waiting for him to finish getting dressed, then the two of you walk out of the closet, careful to not draw attention to yourselves, and then go to find Tyler and Jenna.

They’re backstage still.  Tyler’s sitting on a chair with his feet up on a table, scrolling through his phone with a lollipop stick hanging out of his mouth.  

“So pizza?” Josh asks, making Tyler look up from his phone.

Tyler looks between you and Josh.  You try desperately to hide your guilty face, but the silence is killing you so you go with plan B instead.

“Great show tonight, Ty,” you say, giving him a warm smile.

He turns back to you and grins, “You liked it?”

“Yeah, you guys were incredible.”

Tyler gets up from his chair, carefully putting his feet back on the floor.  “I’m glad you enjoyed it, are you joining us for pizza then?”

“If that’s okay,” you say shyly, looking from Tyler then back to Josh.

“Yeah, of course it’s okay.  Just gotta wait for the misses, she’s chatting with a friend.”

Within ten minutes you’re on the road, piled into Tyler’s car, you and Josh both in the backseat.  Tyler and Josh talk about the show, highs and lows and people they recognized from other shows.  

The pizza shop they choose is close by.  No more than a mile or two away.  You trail behind Jenna as the two boys lead their way into the place.  

“So do you go to every show?” you ask her, trying to make small talk.  

She nods, smiling, “Yeah, I guess it kind of came in the job duties of dating Tyler.  It’s not bad though.  They put on such a good show every night, it’s fun to watch.  Did you enjoy it?”

You nod, grateful for how easy Jenna was to talk to.  You weren’t sure why, but being around Josh in a nonsexual way was so intimidating for you.  At least you had her and Tyler as a buffer for tonight.  

The night goes fairly smooth.  The boys continue to talk about the show.  You like hearing Josh talk about his music.  His face lights up and the little dimples around his face show when he smiles so big.  You can tell how much he really likes it.  

Tyler starts asking you probing questions then, about where you’re from and what you do.  You disclose that you’re a student at Ohio State and that your job at the cafe is what pays the bills.  You stop once you realize how dull your life is in comparison.  

Josh seems fascinated by the idea of your English major.  He starts asking you about various authors and books, asking if you’ve read them before.  When you tell him about your favorite Jack Kerouac novel, he almost spills his drink, because it’s his favorite too.  

“No way,” you gasp laughing, “no one’s ever heard of that book—“

“That’s what I thought too!” he says excitedly.  

He seems to lighten up after that and include you more in their conversations.

And you feel happy.  Because you were so worried that you were just Josh’s one night stand.  You were worried that his feelings for you were only skin-deep.  But tonight, you really seemed to hit it off.  You hoped there would be more dates, because for the first time in a long time, you actually felt like you had a connection to someone.  A real life, personal connection.  

The boys went up to the counter to pay and you were left in the booth with Jenna.  You chat until her phone starts buzzing against the table.  

“It’s my mom,” she says, “I’ll just be a sec.”  

She takes the call and walks to the back of the room, leaving you alone at the table.  So, you decide to join the boys at the counter.  You collect your coat and wallet and walk up to where they’re both waiting for a cashier.  

You can tell they’re mid conversation when you walk up behind them.  You don’t mean to eavesdrop, but your name comes up and you can’t help it.

“She’s cute, I like her,” Tyler says, drumming his fingers on the table.  “You gonna ask her out?”

Josh scoffs and lets his head fall, “We’re not like dating or anything, if that’s what you mean.”

“Common man, you were so into each other tonight,” Tyler observes.

“I wouldn’t say that—“ Josh protests.

“What would you say then?”

“She’s a fun night, a good time in bed…” Josh pauses, “That’s it.”

You stop dead in your tracks as his words hit you like a ton of bricks.  You suddenly feel so embarrassed and stupid and naive.  You don’t hesitate before making a beeline for the door.

You hear Josh mutter a slew of cuss words under his breathe before calling out after you, but you’re already pushing on the latch, feeling the cold air whip you in the face.  You can’t stand to face him.  

“Y/N!” he says, pushing the door and rushing out after you.  

You keep walking, dead set on getting away from all of them.  

“Wait!” he calls, getting closer.  “Y/N, stop,” he says, grabbing at your wrist and trying to pull you around.

“What?” you belt out, spinning in his direction and glaring at him.  “What do you want?”  you plead, trying to keep yourself from crying.  

“I just— I didn’t mean it—“

You sigh heavily, trying to hold in the tears as best you could.

“Look, we hooked up a few times, we got waffles, it’s not like we’re dating,” he says, defending his harsh words.

You sigh heavily before nodding, “Yeah, you’re right, I know,” you cross your arms over your chest, “ But I can’t do this anymore,” you indicate between yourself and him,  “I can’t just be a good time in bed.  Look, it’s fine that you don’t like me.  Really, I get it and that’s okay.  But I was starting to like you, so I can’t keep doing…” you pause, “whatever this has been.  I just can’t.”  

With that you tighten your coat around yourself and turn away, walking back to the road and in the direction of your car.  As soon as you turned away from Josh the tears started to fall.  You felt stupid, crying over someone you knew just over a week.  But you were overwhelmed with false hope and disappointment and you couldn’t help it.  It hurt, feeling like you weren’t good enough.  

Part of you is afraid that they’ll drive by and try to get you to ride back with them.  You’d rather walk a marathon in the cold than get in a car with Josh right now.  But they never do.  In fact, the whole walk back to your car, not a single car even drives by.  

You finally climb in your vehicle and blast the heat, at this point you weren’t sure if the shivering was from the cold or because you were so upset, either way it hurt like hell.

But life moves on.  You work extra shifts at the shop, trying your best to stay distracted and to pick up whatever paycheck you can.  You wipe tables and make flavored lattes and by the middle of the week, things almost start to feel normal again until a puff of pink hair sets the the bell off by opening the door.  

Josh looks around once he’s stepped in the shop.  You only give him a slight glance before walking behind the counter and into the break room, finding your manager and hiding your face.

“I’ll work an entire hour for free today if you serve the guy that just walked in,” you say desperately.

She gives you a sideways glance, raising her eyebrows and clearly thinking you’re crazy.

“What is he a pervert or something?” she chuckles, pulling out her notepad.

“No— just… long story,” you sigh.

She starts scribbling on her pad, making sure her pen has ink before offering you a kind smile.  

“Just take fifteen, I’ll cover for a bit, okay?”

You sigh a breath of relief, “Thank you,” you whisper.  

Once she leaves the room, you sit down and let your face fall in your hands, wondering why on Earth Josh decided to show up today.  Your mind starts running back over everything that had happened between the two of you before your thoughts are suddenly interrupted.

“He’s asking for you by name,” your manager says, peaking her head through the door frame.

“Did you tell him I was here?”

“No, but I don’t think he’s stupid… think he saw you on his way in, before you ran back here.”

You groan and run your fingers through your hair.  

“Hey,” she says, placing a hand on your shoulder, “whatever he did, whatever happened, you’re stronger than it.”  

You take a deep breath, already feeling the embarrassment of facing Josh and you nod.  “I guess so, thanks.”

You tighten your apron back around your waste and exit the break room, scanning the coffee shop quickly before seeing Josh standing in the same spot as when you left.  

You decide to play it cool and flip open your notebook.

“What can I get you?” you say stoically as you flip to a blank page.  

Josh looks up at the sound of your voice and takes a step forward, meeting you closer.  

“Hey—“ he says, his mouth open slightly.

“Hello,” you try to stay as casual as possible. “Did you want coffee… or—“

“Um, no… no, not really.  I wanted to—“ he’s stuttering trying to find the right words, “I wanted to apologize for the other night…”

“It’s fine,” you interject.  This was exactly what you wanted to avoid— him bringing up events from the other night.  You can already feel your face growing red and hot with embarrassment.  

“No… it’s not.  I wasn’t thinking and it just wasn’t—“

“Josh, it’s fine.  Really,” you say, harsher this time.  

He stops and finally meets your gaze.  His eyes are soft, he looks anxious.  

“I… I don’t do this,” he says, his voice thick.  “I don’t go on dates, I don’t have girlfriends.  I don’t— “I don’t trust people, I never have,“ he pauses and clears his throat. “My dad left us when I was five.  All that stuff I said about family vacations and childhood memories was a lie.  I have siblings, but we don’t talk… and my mom— she died a few years back… Tyler’s all I have.  That’s it, everyone else? They leave or they die or they just don’t care,” he pauses enough to inhale sharply.  

“Why’re you telling me all of this?” you ask softly and slightly shocked.

“Because I wanted you to understand why— why I said that stuff the other night…  I just said that stuff to Tyler so he wouldn’t bug me about asking you out.  I like you,” he says.  “But I don’t know how to show that or act.  I guess I’m afraid to get close to people, I’m afraid they’ll leave or whatever…”

Your face softens as you look at Josh.  His head is hanging and he’s picking at a piece of loose skin on his thumb.

“I’m a stupid drummer with a high school education and big dreams that aren’t going anywhere.  You study Kerouac and Faulkner at a University.  I just figured you’d get sick of me sooner or later.”

You laugh, whether that be an appropriate reaction or not, and wipe the tears from your eyes, “Josh, I’m a waitress living in a shabby one bedroom apartment, studying for a degree I probably won’t even be able to use when I graduate.  Your life is exciting and interesting, you have pink hair for God’s sake…  I thought I wasn’t the one good enough for you.”

He shakes his head and breaks eye contact, almost like he doesn’t believe a word you’re saying.  His hand travels to the back of his neck where he scratches the skin and take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I said that stuff, it’s not true… you’re way more than that.  I knew it the minute I spotted you across the bar, too.”

You look down at the floor, his compliment making you blush, “Well, thank you for saying that.”

“So what do we do?” he asks.

You sigh heavily, “Can we just start over?  No more booty calls or sex in storage closets.  We can just hang out, be friends?  I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” you say gently, “But maybe we could just… get to know each other a little better.”

Josh smiles his soft, warm smile and nods.  “I’d really like that.”

“Yeah, me too,” you say honestly, then, remembering Josh’s sly text, you smirk, “Just name a time and a place.”

He laughs, “Waffle house?  After your shift?”

“Will there be chocolate shakes involved?” you challenge.

“Of course,” he says, like it’s the most ridiculous question in the world.

“You got it, then.”

“It’s a date,” he says, as he slowly backs out of the coffee shop with a smile spread across his face.

Your stomach flutters at his words and you can’t help but feel so special and grateful and humbled, all at once, that Josh chose to trust you.  

anonymous asked:

i hope i'm not being a pain but could i request some headcanons on what levi, hange and erwin would be like as parents? thank you in advance!

Not a pain at all, anon. Enjoy! 

Levi: 

  • This is the man who appears as calm and collected as can be on the outside during delivery but is actually a nervous wreck. He’s so anxious and terrified that something will go wrong and he’ll lose his family again but, when nothing happens and the doctor places the baby in his arms for the first time, he’s at a loss for words. 
  • He’ll definitely worry about what kind of example he’ll set for his kid and if he’s even capable of being a good father. Levi doesn’t have a good example of how to raise a child, but he’ll strive to do his best to give them a life and childhood that he never had. 
  • The constant crying is something that he has to adjust to, for sure, but he’ll be the first one to roll out of bed at four in the morning to take care of the baby. Given that his sleeping schedule is sporadic already, Levi has no qualms with taking care of the baby until he/she calms down. 
  • When the child gets older, he’d definitely develop into the strict, but fair parent.  Levi would definitely want to give his child freedom and a chance to make mistakes and learn from them, but he’ll put his foot down if there’s something he truly doesn’t want them to do. 
  • Even though he’s a man of few words, Levi would make sure to let his kid know that they are loved, even if it’s through more actions than words. He’ll do his best to never miss a sports game or important school function because he wants his kid to have the support from their parents that he never had. 
  • All in all, Levi would be a really good father. A little unorthodox and rough around the edges due to lack of inexperience and any prior help from his own family, but he does his best to raise his kid and help them blossom into their own person. 

Hanji: 

  • While Hanji is an incredibly intelligent and skilled individual, there is no way in hell that they know what they are doing when it comes to raising a child. They are very dedicated to their science, but I don’t think that vast knowledge extends to taking care of a kid. 
  • Hopefully their s/o is a really patient and responsible person because I don’t think Hanji would be. It’s not intentional and I do believe they would adore their child, but their brilliant mind is so all over the place that they can’t just settle down and focus on taking care of their kid. 
  • Saying that, though, Hanji would definitely be that loud parent at very and any sports event/academic achievement/extracurricular activity who cheered their kid’s name way too much and embarrasses their children. 
  • They would definitely be supportive of whatever goal/dream their kid has, no matter how unrealistic it could seem. Their child wants to be an astronaut? Go for it! Discover a lost city? They’ll help you with your research! It’s never a dull moment in Hanji’s household, that’s for sure. 
  • I can’t see Hanji being a super strict parent unless it came down to academics. They really wouldn’t tolerate their kid slacking off or being lazy when it came to using their brains so Hanji would encourage a love of learning at a super young age.

Erwin: 

  • I think out of the three, Erwin’s s/o’s pregnancy is the most planned. When things are calm in his life and he’s secured both financially and mentally, he would be ready to start a family. He’d be nervous like every person is when their partner is in the delivery room, but he would vow to instill and teach his kid values and other life lessons. 
  • Growing up, Erwin’s child would have all their necessities and more. I don’t want to say they’d be spoiled, necessarily, but I think Erwin would reward hard work. He’d definitely encourage them to study hard and to seek out knowledge and the truth; to formulate their own opinions by reading and researching whatever they could get their hands on. 
  • That being said, I think Erwin would do his best to make sure he’s there for his kids as much as possible. He’s a busy guy, but he does his hardest to make time for his partner and family. He wants them to have a good upbringing and to have someone to lean on when the situation calls for it. 
  • That being said, Erwin would definitely be the disciplinarian parent, but not in a harsh way. I don’t see him yelling at his kid, per say, but the disappointed expression on his face and his cool words would make it feel even worse than being yelled at. 
  • Overall, I think Erwin would be quite a normal parent. He’d do his best to teach his kid everything they needed to know for the real world and more. 
Boyfriend Chenle
  • yes this marks the end of the boyfriend! series for the chinaline , i’m so happy !
  • /coughs/ only hansol is left in this series whom no one has requested for yet /coughs/
  • okay let’s start with this ball of sunshine

  • so you met him one day when you were hanging out with mark

  • then this one kid who smiled non stop appeared beside him
  • “ MORK HYUNG ”
  • and he kept laughing non stop
  • you were actually creeped out by him because he was always smiling and laughing like crazy
  • lots of ’ ohmygods ’
  • yet you were comfortable with him because despite meeting for the first time that day , chenle laughed at every word you said and he just made you feel so happy with his positivity
  • turns out he just transferred to the school and mark was tasked to take care of him since he’s absolutely fully capable
  • so the three of you always hang out together
  • and whenever you saw chenle working hard to study and understand the lessons in class ,
  • you found yourself smiling a lot ,
  • and whenever he spoke with an excited tone to you , you couldn’t help but be positive too and answer with excitement
  • soon enough you realised that you had feelings for him
  • and being mark’s bestfriend , you decided to tell him but not directly
  • yet mark being mark , was clueless af so he kinda sabotaged you ( in a good way )
  • “ mark , by any chance is chenle interested in anyone now ? ”
  • “ why are you asking me … ? ”
  • “ because i want to know ”
  • “ i’ll ask for you ”
  • yet you facepalmed when you saw the screenshots of their text messages that mark sent you after asking
  • “ chenle ah Y/N wants to know if you have a crush ”
  • “ Y/N … ? why ? ”
  • “ yes , so do you have a crush or ? ”
  • “ yes i do .. ”
  • “ okay thanks ”
  • then chenle called you right after that
  • “ Y/N ? Mark asked me something .. ”
  • “ yes chenle i know .. i’m just curious ”
  • “ the person is you though ”
  • “ wait .. what ? ”
  • “ i like you ”
  • “ you serious ? ”
  • “ yes .. are you free now ? ”
  • “ oh yeah .. yes i’m at home ”
  • then when he shows up infront of your door , you give him a big hug and confess too
  • he’d get super bubbly and happy
  • he also brought you sweets so yall can celebrate
  • such a cute couple ahh
  • and both of you would get more touchy with each other , but never revealed your relationship to others yet because yall wanted it to be a surprise
  • a perfect example is mark
  • while the three of you were eating lunch one day at the school cafeteria ,
  • chenle would happily feed you and pinch your cheeks probably saying pretty loudly ,
  • “ Y/N’s so cute ”
  • and mark would be staring at both of you with a ?? expression
  • and when chenle reveals your relationship ,
  • his reaction gets really big and he literally jumped out of his seat , shouting like “ OH SHIT YOU SERIOUS ? SINCE WHEN ? ”
  • and like that everyone in the cafeteria probably heard so …
  • okay chenle wouldn’t mind skinship at all and in fact , would love it A LOT
  • but he gets all red and shy everytime people tease the both of you
  • he could be holding your hand secretly and staring at you in class
  • and when the teacher caught him and called him out ,
  • he’d cover his face right away and he cant stop giggling too
  • and you can see his ears getting all red
  • having chenle as your boyfriend means you’ll hardly ever get sad tbh ,
  • since this boy’s so happy and cheery all the time , his positive vibes never fail to get to you
  • you could be sharing a story ( which wasn’t meant to be funny ) and he’d just burst into laughter randomly
  • and you’d be confused at first but end up giggling with him because he’s too cute
  • “ and then she just stopped talking to me one day- ”
  • “ HAHAHAHAH /claps hands like a seal/ ”
  • “ wait what’s so funny about that ”
  • “ HAHA YOUR FACE …. SO CUTE AHH ”
  • “ babe what do you mean- ”
  • “ HAHAH /almost falls on the floor laughing/ ”
  • and you found his clumsiness so cute you just stopped sharing and laughed together for like the next 5 mins ??
  • and he’d keep saying that your facial expressions were cute
  • you couldn’t help but hug him because he never failed to make you feel better
  • why do i feel like he’d be the type of boyfriend to force all his friends to support you whenever you have activities ?
  • one time you participated in a school sports event ,
  • while you were preparing to go on the tracks ,
  • you saw a bunch of boys standing up and cheering for you
  • chenle standing in the middle with his dolphin screams , clapping endlessly
  • and his friends ( aka donghyuck and mark , okay maybe the whole nct dream ) were at the side holding banners which say “ I LOVE Y/N !! ”
  • but their facial expressions show otherwise because they were embarrassed since the people around were judging them
  • yet chenle was too oblivious so he kept screaming and jumping
  • and after your run he personally ran up to you to hug and compliment you , offering you a drink
  • and with both hands on your shoulders , he’d say to everyone on the way back to his seat , “ she’s my girlfriend !! ahh so cute ”
  • i bet even the school principal knows about your relationship
  • when he gets jealous he becomes really grumpy and extra clingy
  • “ you said you loved me yesterday Y/N !! ”
  • “ yes i do ? and i love you everyday chenle ”
  • “ then what were you doing just now /pouts/ ”
  • “ what was i doing- oh that ? he accidentally dropped my pen so he picked it up for me , nothing else ”
  • “ why’d he have to touch your shoulder though ”
  • “ it’s just a kind gesture . omg chenle i love you ”
  • “ i love you too ”
  • then he attacks you with a big hug and kisses your cheek
  • “ don’t do that to anybody else again ”
  • “ you’re such a jealous small child- ”
  • “ yes i am , now shush ”
  • lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead
  • he loves it when you give him small pecks on his lips and cheeks ,
  • and he’d smile even brighter the rest of the day because they’re his source of energy
  • “ chenle why are you so happy today ”
  • “ hehe nothing ”
  • “ must be Y/N ”
  • “ shhh secret .. ”
  • then he giggles to himself as his cheeks start turning red
  • when he gets sad he gets super affectionate ,
  • he’d hug you even more that day ,
  • as he places his head on your shoulder while backhugging you
  • and you’d know right away that he wasn’t feeling himself because he was quiet that day
  • you’d give in to all his hugs and kisses
  • and finally when you ask him if he wants to share his problems ,
  • he’d go on a long rant about why he’s feeling sad
  • and at the end you would cheer him up by dancing and singing ,
  • and he’d join in and it slowly becomes a karaoke session
  • he gets all happy and excited when he hears your name in school ,
  • and when you were absent for one day without notice he’d get a little pouty and worried ,
  • he’ll go straight to your house after school to visit you
  • and when he found out you were sick ,
  • he’d attempt to cook for you and take care of you
  • he’s so sweet too tbh
  • on your birthday he gave you a photo album of all the pictures you guys took together and almost in every one , he’d write at the side ,
  • “ we’re so cute kya ~ ”
  • “ i love you so much my jagi ”
  • “ we are the cutest couple ever ”
  • “ look how cute we look in this picture ”
  • ever since you met him your days got better
  • and the fact that he became your boyfriend made you feel so blessed
  • because you never once thought this sunshine would fall for someone like you
  • yet he tells you he loves you everyday and gives you the attention and love you want
  • stan cuteness stan chenle , everybody
  • bye i love my son too much