work that pole girl

So story time.

Last night I had a pretty intense experience while training after teaching classes. During class I had freestyled with my students a little bit and did a pretty solid aerial shoulder mount in the middle of the song – a first for me.

Shoulder mounts took me a long time to get, even just from the floor, and aerial shoulder mounts even longer. They’d come and go and always be ugly and always have to take me serious psych-up/concentration time. Never just in the middle of a combo on the fly.

After class I wasn’t feeling really strong or flexible and I almost went home, but I was warm and knew I should at least make some use of it, so I freestyled for a bit and played in heels. Then at the very end of my night I decided I’d like to see if I could do a titanic climb, since I’d done the shoulder mount earlier pretty well. I tried once and watched the video. I saw that my legs were bending just a little bit and thought, “I bet I could straighten them.” And I went for it. And I did it. And then I kept going, and pulled out an ayesha to one of the most solid iron-xs I’ve ever done.

Which is ANOTHER thing, because elbow grip ayesha took me 2.5 years to achieve…I asked every instructor I ever had to help me with it. Overall I had at least a dozen people, some of them very famous and well known, try to get me there and I always failed until one day my body was finally ready. It finally knew how to stack and engage (thank you Pilates, by the way).

Anyway. I came down and watched the video and started to tear up a little bit, and that lead to full out bawling for 5 or 10 minutes on the floor of the studio.

I was just so damn proud of myself. I’ve never considered myself very strong. And maybe a lot of people out there find things like straight legged shoulder mounts and elbow grip ayeshas and iron-xs small beans, but for ME they are HUGE achievements, and a testament to how fucking hard I’ve worked. When I started pole, I couldn’t hold on long enough to get a real spin in. It took me a year to get a decent invert happening…I even took a 9 month professional training intensive that taught me things that are just now, 4 months later, clicking in. I am by no means a prodigy. I’ve just worked my butt off. Quite literally.

On top of that, I couldn’t stop thinking about far I’ve come mentally. I’ve gone from not wanting to get out of the bed in the morning, wishing I could curl up and disappear, to wishing days could be twice as long as they are, because there are too many things I want to do and I am excited about all of them. It wasn’t just pole that did that, there were a lot of different pieces to the puzzle, but pole is what gave me the confidence to work for it. Because I became certain that if an awkward nerdy white girl could climb a 14 foot pole, she could do a hell of a lot of other things, too. Pole showed me what passion and dedication looked like, and that opened a lot of doors for me.

I know there are a lot of life-changing pole stories out there. I just wanted to share a little piece of mine. If you are following me and debating if you want to try pole, if you even can try it…DO IT.


   It was Bella’s business to know the Lake’s business. She may be employed as their nanny, but her time spent in the sheets and between their legs gave her, what she deemed, appropriate reason to snoop and to know. Know what? Everything. She knew when Robbie slid off at night, and she knew Natalie’s favorite films to keep her distracted. She knew when Robbie wasn’t listening, and she knew when Natalie needed chocolate because it was that time of month. 

    Bella knew. It was that simple. 

  And it was because Bella knew that she had decided to go and see for herself who this mysterious, alluring girl was, working the pole, and keeping so much of Robbie’s attention and money away from herself. Truth be told, Bella welcomed the break at times. Other-times, it seemed Robbie was even more hungry after his little trips. Well, Bella took a peek at his bank statement, and was off in a gross little Uber one night. 

   Secret missions called for desperate measures, apparently, Bella realized as she stared down at a moldy french fry on the seat on the car. It wasn’t until after she was inside the club and seated at the bar that Bella decided it was worth the trip. She knew her immediately. 

   Bella held up a $100, smiling blankly at Lacey, and batting her eyes. “Show me what you can do?”