work out humor

I love how in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve and Bucky are having their dramatic highway battle and the cars in the other lane just keep driving. Like, the regular people in the Marvel Cinematic Universe must be so jaded at this point. Like, “Ho hum. Another Monday. Aw dangit. Looks like they’re at it again. The five o’clock rush is gonna be hell.”

Low-energy “exercises”
  • Point and flex your feet repeatedly
  • Dance to your favorite song while sitting in your favorite chair
  • Stretch!
  • Work your face muscles by smiling for a minute
  • Flex your boob muscles (technical term)
  • Shrug repeatedly because nobody knows what’s going on
  • Clench your tummy muscles for as long as you can
  • Wiggle your toes a little bit
  • what they say: hey! so sorry to bother you, i just wanted to say that we'll be closing in 10 minutes, but please don't feel rushed! thank you SO much for stopping in today. we always appreciate wonderful customers like you. have a marvelous rest of your night :)
  • what they mean: GET OUT OF MY FUCKING STORE RIGHT NOW. I'M DONE. I'VE BEEN HERE FOR HOURS AND I'M FED UP WITH YOUR SHIT. DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR ASS ON THE WAY OUT.
Ashes, Ashes

Pairing: Pansy Parkinson x Ginny Weasley

AU: Modern, non-magical, Project Runway AU

Word Count: 1,157

Written For: getcozywithtposey (happy birthday, sweetie!)


Pansy almost misses the application deadline for the show.

She spends four hours shading in the lines of the pencil sketches in her portfolio and then wastes twenty-five minutes staring aghast at the blinking black cursor on her laptop screen when she gets to the lone lonely essay question at the end and it’s asking her ‘Who are you?’ like she has any idea how to answer and it’s frustrating.

Because she’s a crumpled white envelope overflowing with half-smoked cigarettes and expensive hotel stationary and she’s been around the world and back and has the scars and the postage stamps and the passport ink to prove it and she’d been The Snitch in high school and The Burnout in college and sometimes she’s blank but more often than not she’s empty and she’s been secretly steamed open and left out to dry so that no one could see the marks and she’s been taped shut and scribbled on and thrown away and she’s all of these things and all of these moments and how can she condense that into a 250-word personal statement?

She winds up writing about her idyllic childhood summers at the Cape and how graduating from Parsons had changed her life and when she gets her callback a few weeks later from the network she wears a black leather jacket over a lace-collared white Chanel dress and sneers at the other applicants in the sleek, chrome-accented waiting room and that isn’t the day she first speaks to Ginny Weasley, no, but it is the day that she first notices her.

Keep reading

I think I just realized something.

This PPG Reboot is what leads the girls down the path to having this disaster of a future we saw in the ‘City of Clipsville’ episode.

Lack of crime fighting? Focus on the ‘normal’ aspects of the girls lives? Shallow, stupid, & vapid dialogue/behavior from our once-beloved super heroines?

It all checks out, imo.

bench press me - eggboi

Word Count: 1, 683

Summary: “The hell are you doing?” Keith grumbles out, body mid-push up. There’s a snicker behind him, too close to his ears, though Keith can’t really understand what would be so amusing about this. Then again, he’s not really sure why Lance is lying on him while he’s doing push ups either. Other than to be, of course, annoying.

“Nothing.” Lance finally says. Keith hears the grin in his voice, which only proves to irritate him a little more. ‘Nothing’ his ass. “Continue with what you’re doing, Mr. ‘I’m-Too-Good-For-Socialization’.”

(Lance, as always, tries to annoy Keith by making his exercise harder. It doesn’t work. At all.)