work out humor

Low-energy “exercises”
  • Point and flex your feet repeatedly
  • Dance to your favorite song while sitting in your favorite chair
  • Stretch!
  • Work your face muscles by smiling for a minute
  • Flex your boob muscles (technical term)
  • Shrug repeatedly because nobody knows what’s going on
  • Clench your tummy muscles for as long as you can
  • Wiggle your toes a little bit
Ashes, Ashes

Pairing: Pansy Parkinson x Ginny Weasley

AU: Modern, non-magical, Project Runway AU

Word Count: 1,157

Written For: getcozywithtposey (happy birthday, sweetie!)

Pansy almost misses the application deadline for the show.

She spends four hours shading in the lines of the pencil sketches in her portfolio and then wastes twenty-five minutes staring aghast at the blinking black cursor on her laptop screen when she gets to the lone lonely essay question at the end and it’s asking her ‘Who are you?’ like she has any idea how to answer and it’s frustrating.

Because she’s a crumpled white envelope overflowing with half-smoked cigarettes and expensive hotel stationary and she’s been around the world and back and has the scars and the postage stamps and the passport ink to prove it and she’d been The Snitch in high school and The Burnout in college and sometimes she’s blank but more often than not she’s empty and she’s been secretly steamed open and left out to dry so that no one could see the marks and she’s been taped shut and scribbled on and thrown away and she’s all of these things and all of these moments and how can she condense that into a 250-word personal statement?

She winds up writing about her idyllic childhood summers at the Cape and how graduating from Parsons had changed her life and when she gets her callback a few weeks later from the network she wears a black leather jacket over a lace-collared white Chanel dress and sneers at the other applicants in the sleek, chrome-accented waiting room and that isn’t the day she first speaks to Ginny Weasley, no, but it is the day that she first notices her.

Keep reading

  • Rumple: aha! I am locking Belle up. She'll be in love with me again in no time.
  • Charming: wait what?!
  • Hook: is that your actual strategy?!
  • Rumple: oh come on
  • Rumple: it worked for you two
  • Rumple: caught in a net
  • Rumple: locked in a dungeon
  • Rumple: that's how you true love, right?
  • Charming:
  • Hook:
  • Charming: I don't think you've quite got the hang of this yet... you've locked her up loads of times, but she needs to hit you over the head first, really
  • Hook: aye, or handcuff you to something
  • Charming: or like at least seriously threaten you
  • Hook: ooooh yes
  • Hook: better yet, skip the locking up and the hitting, just give her a pair of handcuffs
  • Hook: trust me, you'll have way more fun
  • Charming:
  • Rumple:
  • Hook: what?
  • Snow: oh no! There's a new villain!
  • Emma: what? who?
  • Snow: I don't know, but he's pretty hot actually. He's got long dark hair and he's dressed all in black and he's got a parrot on his shoulder
  • Henry: ooooh, like a real pirate?
  • Hook: what do you mean REAL pirate?!
  • Charming: what do you mean pretty hot??!!
  • Emma: wait... long dark hair... parrot... like Jafar?
  • Hook: what do you mean "Jafar"
  • Hook: do you know him
  • Hook: Swan
  • Hook: are you telling me there's another sinfully attractive pirate around here and you KNOW him
  • Hook: because I do not like that thought at all whatsoever
  • Charming: agreed. This calls for drastic measures, mate
  • Hook: aye. You get the poison and the bear trap, I'll get the dynamite