work is my second home


…a second chance, a ray of light and a way home.


Read in 2016 » The Naturals by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

     The truth he’d been dancing around for the past hour was suddenly incredibly clear. He and his team, this program— they didn’t just want to teach me how to hone my skills. They wanted to use them to catch killers.
     Serial killers.

Disappearing act- Gradblrchallenge days 5, 6 & 7

3.12.17 @gradblrchallenge

Days 5 & 6 this allergy/cold thing won. For the first time in a year I called off sick to work (the last time I was getting my appendix out). Yesterday I thought I was doing better but quickly got put back in my place after running a couple of errands. :)

So for day 7, I got groceries and cooked for the week. Working 40+ hours per week and then coming home to my second life as a student makes the week hectic and I find cooking for the week 1) ensures that I eat 2) that I eat somewhat healthy and 3) get school work accomplished after spending the day at work. I also package everything up so then I just have to reheat the contents of the container. It almost feels like a TV dinner. This week we have roasted veggies on rice and spaghetti squash nests.

”I love… The Order where Lenalee and everyone is at! My home…-Allen Walker (Chapter 205- My Home)

Random Bits
  • The forecast for tomorrow’s storm keeps changing.  It’s going to be a massive storm, but apparently it’s going to shift to a wintry mix and into rain by the evening…

  • Is it bad that I’m daydreaming about the rain turning to ice so as to increase my odds of a second work at home day on Wednesday?

  • I’m off all day Friday.  I plan on waking up early, cooking up a decent breakfast, and spending the morning listening to records and tidying the apartment.  And then I get to travel across the state to see Green Day and Against Me!  It’ll be a welcome break from reality…

  • When it rains weddings it fucking pours weddings.  Three this year.  Shit’s expensive.  Fuck being an adult.

anyway I am just very. tired. being at home puts me in a near-constant state of minor-to-moderate sensory overload and I don’t?? really?? see a solution here?? my mood takes a nosedive the second my mom gets home from work bc she’s incessantly demanding and passive-aggressive and generally absolutely insufferable to be around 90% of the time. just the tone of her voice makes me like. [claws face] even aside from that just the noise level - with the tv on and two or more people having one or two conversations at once while I’m trying to do whatever I’m doing and my brother being like he is (it’s hard to explain if you don’t know him but he’s just constantly. making noise) - it fucks with my head and I can’t even express that. the answer to “hey, can you be quieter for a while, maybe” is always “no”. or it turns into an argument somehow about something else. I’m just?? it’s not like I can ask everyone I live with to just be fucking quiet all the time and never touch me because it makes my head just go static. and it just sucks that my options are “be alone in a quiet room” or “be miserable”. idk!! idk.

Just a rant on some feelings

So I’m slowly trying to learn Japanese. Increasing my vocab slowly by trying to actually use the words I learn at home or in my personal works. Learning a second language has never been easy for me which is why I don’t expect myself to be able to master this language, but if I’m at least able to understand it better and be bale to have small talk then that satisfies me. 

My reason for specifically choosing Japanese is not meant to be an insult. I wanted to learn Japanese because I want to be able to talk to people without them having to learn English. I honestly want to be able to speak all languages fluently but I decided to go with Japanese because it’s one of the few languages I actually practiced with (French and German being the only others).

But I struggle now because I know I’m no good with grammar and I never want to accidentally say something offensive. 

I want to practice saying words everyday without people thinking I’m just some anime nerd white trash trying to act cool. I’m taking this very seriously so when I write sentences or words in Japanese in either my notebooks or on my art, it’s not meant to be offensive or an act, it’s literally my attempt of practicing what I learnt in my everyday life.

can you imagine how babyish michael would be when he woke up in the morning, like he’d probably had been curled around your body and when he finally wakes up he’d untangle his body from yours and roll onto his back, letting out this tiny, kittenish purr and rubbing his eyes, and his hair would be all over the place, sticking up and messy. he’d roll back over, partially on top of your body now, bury his face in your neck and leave wet raspberries behind and ignoring your soft giggling as you woke up. he’d definitely be one of those guys that pause and just drink it in; how you smile lazily, still captured in the remnants of sleep he just pulled you from, and how you blinked slowly, wrapping your hands around his waist and holding him flush against you. he’d let out a soft sound followed by a ‘well good morning to you too, baby’ in that super sexy, husky morning voice of his before he pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead, and you’d whine a little because he was so clingy in the morning and yeah it was super cute but you needed to pee and he probably wouldn’t let go for another half hour at least, and you’d grumble out 'good morning babe, let me go’ and he’d nuzzle your neck, shaking his head begging you to make him pancakes, chocolate chip, of course, and you’d make a deal with him, and he’d pout and give you those big green puppy eyes before rolling off of you. you’d get out of bed and he’d slap your ass softly, grinning before falling back against the bed with a self satisfied smirk on his face, calling out 'on second thought, breakfast can wait’

I’ll Stay Right Here (Cullen/Trevelyan)

For gerundsandcoffee, who isn’t feeling well.  Yet another calming prompt. This one was "I’ll stay right here, okay?“  It was meant to be more hurt/comfort than it turned out to be, oops.

Cullen jumped off of his horse as soon as the tents marking the Inquisitor’s party came into view, wincing slightly as muscles protested the half-day of hard riding. Hardly pausing to shove the reins at the soldier accompanying him, he rushed towards the center of the camp, the letter their spymistress had shoved into his face that morning still ringing in his mind:


We got jumped by red templars not far from Skyhold while on our way back. Evelyn foolishly jumped in front of a blow for Dorian. She lost a lot of blood. Send aid.


In spite of reassurances from an agent that everything had been stabilized, his brain could only conjure up images of her broken form, had been haunting him with her death ever since he read the missive.

To his surprise, Varric and Cassandra lingered around the campfire in a surprisingly amiable silence and he skidded a stop when the woman looked up at him.

“Commander, we didn’t think to expect you so soon.”

“Where is Evelyn?” he asked, voice tight with the tension that had been building ever since morning.

“Calm down, Curly,” Varric drawled, an amused note in his voice. “She woke up a few hours ago and she’ll be fine with some rest. Sparkler’s tending to her now in there, if you want to bring him fresh bandages.”

The dwarf’s low chuckle followed him as he hurried towards the indicated tent with a hastily muttered “thank you.” His racing heart slowed somewhat as he heard the murmur of low voices inside, the chime of her laugh, weaker than usual, but still audible.

He burst into the tent with enough force that Evelyn shrieked in surprise and Dorian spun around, a hand outstretched as if to ward him off. Barely noticing the disapproving look on the other man’s face, he moved towards makeshift bed, eyes taking in the familiar form sitting atop the blankets, noting the ragged cloth wrapped around her torso, drinking in her image. Alive.

“Blessed Andraste, you’re here.” His voice, when he found it, was hoarse, quiet, but grew louder as he rambled. “Are you in pain? Should you be sitting up? Do you need anything?”

His jaw snapped shut when she held up a hand to arrest the sudden flood of questions, laughing quietly. Maker, he’d missed that sound, thought for several long hours that he’d never hear it again. He took a deep breath and released it slowly, feeling the rest of the tension leave him. She would be okay. “Never scare me like that again.” Don’t leave me.

Her smile was warm and full of everything they both left unsaid, but her voice was light, teasing, as she responded with a wry gesture towards her injured chest, “I’ll stay right here, okay?”


it’s a long weekend this weekend and i’m happy about it! that means ample time to cry over my boyfriend kim taehyung and his gorgeous new hair ♡

So I’m with my bf and he suggest I go to my second home, starbucks, before work.
So I’m like, “well where’s my first home then ?”
He goes, “Disney of course.”
So do I exchange vows or how does this work?

What’s up San Francisco?

I have arrived at my second home: Hotel Diva.

Lots of work to finish today in preparation for a couple huge meetings this week, and I managed to casually slip in a black tie event with Valentino and the SF Symphony while I’m
here. 😂

When my flight landed, I was all business. All I wanted to do was get to work. I actually got anxious and frustrated waiting for my baggage because it took too long. There is so much riding on these next few months, and every single little tiny microscopic move that I make, creates a HUGE impact on the future of both myself, Crush brands, my family, friends, employees, and my marketing company: RedCap.

This insane pursuit to greatness is my passion, and it’s taken me places I used to literally lose sleep dreaming about. We went for broke. Again and again and again.

Yes, as you can obviously see, wearecrush did well. However, we didn’t accept ‘success’ or anything like it. We had a dinner. A cheap one at that. We didn’t throw in the towel, sit back, count dollars, and accept any kind of mediocrity. We made a decision to hunt something greater: To be more.

We pumped every penny back into this brand. We set out to make it better, bigger, healthier, more universal, more beginner friendly, and effectively safer. We’re putting out a line of supplements that are effective, that are safe, and that you can trust. We started a freaking gym franchise, and through my pre-existing company: RedCap, we now run marketing campaigns in retail and commercial real estate, provide corporate rebranding and brand engineering solutions, consult retail product development, and even manage retail product distribution.


We never will be. I love what I do because It has no limit. When somebody asks me what I do, I never tell them. My business card only has my name and an email on it for a reason. I first ask them what they do, and immediately tell them how I can help.

Work in the right direction. Work with purpose, passion, and know exactly how to define your pursuit. Be a good person. Be a good person again. Live your life in a way that always puts you in a situation to help others.

Excited for this week, and what’s to come. ☺️