I just found out that Carrie Fisher has died, and I am absolutely devastated.
I actually got to meet and work with Carrie (and Gary) a few years ago while volunteering at a comic con, and it’s a day I’ll hold on to for the rest of my life. Carrie was, really and truly, everything you think she’d be, and more. I helped with her photo-op, making sure the fans were respectful & orderly, and Carrie was just a riot. She was witty and sarcastic, telling jokes and laughing, greeting everyone with such kindness (especially us workers). She really didn’t have to; after all, it’d been almost a 10 hour day & she was a HUGE celebrity. But she took the time to greet every person, and acknowledge every worker, which not everyone does. I remember her patiently explaining to young children why they couldn’t pet Gary, and telling dirty jokes to a fan in a slave Leia costume; I remember that mischievous twinkle in her eye, and how much she adored Gary. Carrie even stayed after the venue hall closed FOR TWO HOURS to make sure that every single person in line got their photo/autograph. After a grueling day, she still wasn’t grumpy, all smiles and witty banter, because she didn’t want anyone to feel like she treated them badly.
And of course, she was feisty; she did what she wanted, and definitely didn’t take any shit. She took a break right in the middle of the photo-ops b/c she wanted to, refused security on her smoke breaks, and kept trying to distract the camera man and workers by telling us jokes; and the only thing she would drink was Diet Coke out of a wineglass. (#iconic)
The picture of her I’ll always remember is her, walking from the photo-ops to the autograph table, holding a wineglass full of Diet Coke and Gary trotting along at her heels. She exuding such power, and grace, after such a long day, that I was blown away. It was such an iconic, incredible image; Carrie honestly looked like she ruled the universe.
So RIP to an extraordinary woman. The world gave her hell and she gave it hell right back. She was kind, funny, witty, mischievous, and utterly one-of-a-kind, and I loved her for it; she was living proof that things get better, and keep moving, even when you hit rock bottom.
Fanfiction is the madwoman in mainstream culture’s attic, but the attic won’t contain it forever. Writing and reading fanfiction isn’t just something you do; it’s a way of thinking critically about the media you consume, of being aware of all the implicit assumptions that a canonical work carries with it, and of considering the possibility that those assumptions might not be the only way things have to be.
Anne Jamison, Fic: Why Fan Fiction is Taking Over the World.
i’ll never be cynical about love no matter how many times i get hurt and i can say that honestly. maybe i’m resilient or too hopeful and maybe it’s just me but..to have the opportunity to love so many different times and so many different ways in this life is a beautiful thing. to be shown how to grow as a person and to have the chance to discover things about yourself each time, is one of the best things ever. yes heartbreak hurts and it sucks but to know that it’s not the end and to know that the next time around it will be a whole new kind of excitement…. is worth holding on to. we get to work through these lessons and carry them with us forever.
A painfully fluffy SnowBaz fic for the Carry On Valentine’s Celebration
In which Simon and Baz never had that Christmas Eve incident, but have instead become friends - and maybe something more
Happy Valentine’s Day!
fondly down at the text, his heart a little lighter than usual as he hit the “reply”
What are you doing today?
nothing really, hbu?
you should come over later! We can watch
movies and stuff!
this ‘stuff’ you speak of,” Baz muttered under his breath.
Sure, if you’re not busy
He hated himself
for asking, for making himself seem totally indifferent when he was the
farthest thing from it, but it almost felt necessary.
I’d rather hang out with you anyway
You flatter me
lol seriously tho
you’re the closest thing I have to a valentine tbh
help it, but his pulse picked up at that.
By which you mean…?
it as you will
I’m just saying lol
Just saying what?
don’t worry about it baz
But Baz did
worry about it, so much that he could barely think about anything else all
Eventually Baz couldn’t stand
waiting around any longer and picked up his phone again, dialing and holding it
in the crook of his neck while he tied his shoes.
“Hey Baz!” Simon replied, sounding
genuinely thrilled to hear him and it made Baz hopeful again.
“I’m just about to head over,” Baz
continued, “did you want me to bring anything or pick something up from the
“No, Penny and I stocked up on
chocolate and fruit,” Simon told him, “how do you feel about chocolate fondue?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?”
Simon laughed. “I think we’re good, thanks Baz.”
There was a pause as Baz tried to
calm the jitters in his stomach. “Hey
“What did you mean by ‘take it as
Hesitation on the other end. “Just that.”
“That clears it up, thanks,” Baz
scoffed as he settled behind the wheel of his car, just sitting while he
talked, not feeling very “settled” at all.
“Everyone needs a valentine.”
“You know that’s not true.”
“I know, but I wanted one anyway.”
“And you’re saying you’ve chosen me?”
“If that’s how you took it.”
“But how did you mean it, Simon?” Baz pushed, unable to
keep the urgency out of his voice.
Crowley, he was shaking, he was so tense.
There was a long silence from the
other end, as if Simon was figuring out exactly what to say. “I guess I meant that I was… choosing
“…to be your valentine.”
“I guess so.” Simon’s voice was lower, quieter, like they
had strayed into much deeper, more dangerous territory.
“Okay,” Baz said, trying to keep his
voice as light as he could without sounding forced.
“Valentines can be platonic, right?”
A deep breath from Simon. “I… honestly… don’t know.”
Baz couldn’t breathe. “Oh.”
The should have been able to hear each
other’s hearts beating through the phone.
“Do… do you still want me to come
“Hmm? Oh, of course! That hasn’t changed.”
“Unless you don’t want to now.”
“No, I do,” Baz said quickly, “I do.”
“So, I’ll see you soon then?”
“Yeah, see you soon.”
The whole drive to Simon and Penny’s
flat was a nightmare. Baz turned up the
radio as loud as he could, trying to drown out his thoughts. It didn’t stop them, but at least he couldn’t
hear them as much. His hands shook on
the wheel and he contemplated calling Simon and backing out at least four
times, feigning illness or obligation or just telling the truth, that he needed
time to think.
He knew he needed time, but he didn’t
want time. As much as he knew tonight
would likely be a disaster, he wanted to go.
He couldn’t shake the thrill that came at the thought of seeing Simon,
awkward or not.
He was just walking up to Simon’s door
when his phone rang again, and his skull started buzzing when he saw who was
“Hi,” he said tentatively.
“Everything alright Simon?” Baz
paused, his fist poised to knock but waiting.
Simon could still decide to call off the night.
A few long, shuddering breaths from
the other end.
“It’s not platonic.”
Baz’s world split open.
“Baz?” Simon sounded so damn scared it broke Baz’s
Baz knocked softly on the door.
When Simon opened it, he was still
holding the phone to his ear. Slowly he
lowered it and stuffed it in his pocket.
“I’m sorry, Baz,” he said, so quietly it was almost inaudible. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
In two long strides Baz had crossed
the threshold and had Simon’s face in his hands. Before either of them had time to breathe Baz
crushed Simon’s mouth under his own, reveling in the sound Simon made and in
how Simon’s arms flailed a little to catch his balance before grabbing at Baz’s
collar and pulling them impossibly closer.
Simon was sweet and soft and Baz was so close to losing himself that he
pulled back abruptly.
“Sorry,” he panted, still holding
Simon’s face in his hands, “I shouldn’t have…”
“So,” Simon chuckled breathlessly, “I
guess it’s not platonic for you either then?”
“Not even close.”
Simon brought one hand up to Baz’s
cheek, and Baz dared to meet his eyes.
They were bright and shining and his cheeks were pink from lack of air
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Baz,” Simon
murmured before closing the space between them again, this time much softer and
gentler. They stayed like that until
they were both dizzy and gasping for breath, unable to stop grinning.