worf you are perfect

Star Trek Characters Considered as Survivor Players

This is a guest post for @pixiedane, funniest recap blog on the planet!

I spend my days at work at a sewing machine.  As everyone knows, the human race invented sewing as a venue and excuse for gossip; but as most of my coworkers’ gossip is in Cantonese, I have a lot of time with my own thoughts.  One such sewing machine thought was, “I bet Captain Kirk would be pretty good at Survivor.”

I am a huge Survivor nerd and a medium Star Trek nerd, and soon I was going over in my head which Star Trek characters would be good at the game.  Here is my list of some Star Trek notables, ranked in order of their Survivor skill, with commentary.  (I can only rate those I know; I haven’t seen most of Voyager or any of Enterprise, so you must forgive the lack of Seven of Nine and Dr. Phlox.)  I apologize in advance for the fact that much of this may be opaque to non-Survivor fans; I will try to keep it friendly to laymen, but I will probably fail at times.

32. Neelix
It is a truism in Survivor that placement in the game does not reflect ability.  Neelix has two possible fates in Survivor: either he goes out first, or he makes the final 2.  But in either case, he belongs here at the bottom of the list.  Obnoxious and useless in everything, he might be taken to the end as a goat (Survivor fan terminology for someone deliberately brought to the end because they’re impossible to lose to.)  It doesn’t matter who you are.  You could be Gul Dukat.  You will beat Neelix at the final tribal council. 

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