words to my father

did you know, someone once told me i had my father’s smile
i told them thank you even though i wasn’t sure; that just wasn’t something i had seen in a while
i saw the back of your head more often than not
and even more than that, i saw your fist a hell of a lot
the physical pain was nothing compared to the way you left
mom tried to hide it but i heard those tears that she wept
she never saw mine, locked myself away in my room
and i cried and i cried and it’s all because of you
see, you were never a dad; you’re nothing more than a sperm donor
you never saw us as a family, just property and you were our owner
you never really loved us, because love doesn’t cause pain
had a temper that exploded worse than a bottle of champagne
and i tried and i tried to be the son you always wanted
years of not feeling good enough has left me feeling haunted
but now i’m older, wiser, and i know that i wasn’t to blame
and even if you apologized now, nothing would ever be the same
despite how much i hate you, i think i still love you regardless
i’d tell you happy father’s day if i thought this collect call was worth the charges
—  happy father’s day ii - anonymous
(cc, 2017)

a-lover-of-dogs  asked:

Thanks for the fathers day snapchat thing. It's pretty great of you to make people who have father's issues feel better!

Aw, of course! It was my pleasure, cause I know we all could use a little encouragement from time to time! I was blessed to always have those words from my father, so I wanted to pass them on to others who needed it as much as I did!

Thunderstruck

My father used to be really good at DMing, and I was told this story many times.

The party was in a thick forest, it was overcast, and the skies were shrouded in clouds and lightning. Unfortunately, no one rolled a perception check, so they didn’t notice the storms. As they settle down for the night, the paladin gets the great idea to go up into a tree to scout the area… in his plate armor.

DM: are you sure?
P: Yeah! We need a scout.
DM: are you really sure?
P: Yup.
*long pause*
DM:… okay. Roll shock damage.

So the Paladin dies a horrible death, and the party loots him and buries him. Later, a few sessions after the Lightning Rod incident, the party gets done with a boss fight and notices the lack of supplies. So they decide to dig up the Paladin and see if he has any more stuff (to the dismay of the Paladin player). Luckily he does, so they loot him (again), rebury him, and leave for a second time.

Many years ago, I used to be a feminist. At first it was merely a “yeah, girl power! Feminism!” kind of thing. And then I moved back home from an abusive relationship, and started hanging out with one of my best friends more often. He was one of the few guys that was a genuine friend and didn’t want to try to get into my pants. Or so I thought. After several months, having found some peace and routine with him, he brought up the prospect of being anything more. Thing is, I felt nothing for him in that aspect. I mentioned this, told him that it wouldn’t feel right forcing myself to be in a relationship with him when I didn’t actually see him in a romantic way and that it would only be cruel to him. He was disheartened, but he didn’t bring it up again for a while.

He was a pharmacy student who was on the cusp of graduation. He studied well and had high grades, and part of our hangout routine was him using his homework and notes to “teach” me (I didn’t really pay attention, but it helped him to better understand his material). One weekend - Halloween, actually, as I will always remember it - he was picking me up from my place so we could spend a few days lounging and playing video games. His car broke down and we spent hours waiting for the tow truck. The next night, we were playing video games per usual. He asked about whether or not I wanted to go somewhere and do something different. I told him that, understanding his financial situation, it would be best if we just continued with our normal routine. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. I figured “Hey, he must just be bored and stressed.” He seemed flustered and excused himself to get us some drinks from downstairs.

He came back with some drinks. I remember that mine tasted odd. I chalked it up to flat soda and allergies to the cats. Soon after, I got extremely tired. I thought it was because I hadn’t slept a few days and it was catching up to me, and I was with someone that I trusted.

I woke up feeling weird. My clothes were gone, I was in his bed, and he was on top of me. His tongue was down my throat. Every ounce of trust I had went down the drain. I was enraged. He was the ONLY male I had trusted. He was my best friend. I hardly trusted my own father to not hurt me at this point in my life because of how rocky our relationship had been. The man I had just left was sexually, physically, and emotionally abusive. This man, the man I so foolishly had considered my best friend, had broken every ounce of trust. I don’t even know the full extent to what he had done to me. But I demanded a ride home.

I never went to the police because I didn’t think they would believe me and at the time I still cared for him as a friend. I didn’t understand at the time everything that had happened. It didn’t completely sink in for years that he had drugged me. It didn’t sink in that he was the one who took off my clothes, that he had touched me in places he knew I would never allow. And I didn’t want to ruin his life over it. But it hit deep enough that I began to hate all men. Every one of them.

A couple of months later, after barring him completely from my life, I was hanging out with my female best friend. She took me out with two of her male friends, who I didn’t like or trust. And a guy that I’d liked from high school met us at the place we were hanging out. He pulled me off to a secluded area and started kissing me. At first I didn’t mind. He was cute, and seeing him kind of rekindled the old flame. But then he wouldn’t stop. And I started pushing him away from me, but he would pull me closer. I’d tell him to stop, and he would tell me that I didn’t really want that. I started struggling and yelling.

My best friend with her friends came across us. I came to find out that she didn’t know he had taken me away and had been looking for us. He friends separated us. I was crushed, because once again a man had broken my trust. My friend, instead of consoling me, lashed out at him. Accused him of “using me to get to her because he knew she liked him.” She didn’t try to make sure I was okay. But her friends did. Her two male friends, who I hadn’t liked simply on the basis that they were male, told me that if they had known the extent to which things had happened they would have beaten his ass instead of telling him to leave. One, who had just gotten out of jail, said that if I knew where the guy lived he would be more than willing to go back to protect me from the guy. These two men were more understanding than she had been.

They took me home. I was too shaken up to be fun. My dad saw how I was, and asked me what happened. The guy worked with my father. I told my dad what he did. He asked me what I wanted to do. My only words were “I want him to go away.” My dad said he could make that happen. And he did. The guy moved to California within the month.

I began having doubts about whether or not all men deserved to be hated simply because of their penis.

Months later, I began going to school the place my dad worked at. I realized that a lot of the ladies there liked my father. He wouldn’t ever do anything to return this “friendliness” from the women. My father prided himself on being professional. He was a completely different person than he was at home. One of the women who consistently tried to advance on my father began to feel spurned. So she and some of the other girls conspired together. They made false accusations about my father. Saying he would touch them and speak inappropriately to them. The school wouldn’t even listen to my father. They wouldn’t even allow him to defend himself. “The accusation alone is proof enough” were their official words. They made him resign.

My father began working as the general manager of a chain of luxury refinery. The girls that he hired took a liking to him, and when he turned down their advancements, they did the same. They accused him of sexually harassing them. When he didn’t. Once again, he was forced to resign. “This has happened twice. If it happens again, we will be forced to revoke your license.” Once again, they didn’t even allow him to defend himself. They wouldn’t see the video footage of him telling them to stop. They wouldn’t see the texts of him telling them to calm down. Because he was male.

And I realized that I, as a woman, held more power than any man ever could. I realized that all it took was mere words to destroy a man’s life. That wasn’t weakness. It wasn’t oppression, not on a woman’s part. I realized that there were shitty men and shitty women. But there was no shortage of good men either. And there was no shortage of good women.

My resentment for men faded, and it faded fast. My resentment for feminism grew for forcing me to be so scared of men, because despite my terrible experiences there were men who were willing to go to prison to defend a woman that they hadn’t known for more than five hours.


My entire point is that you are allowed to be hurt by your past experiences. You are allowed to feel, to grow past it. But don’t harbor the hatred. Don’t turn it against the people who didn’t actually do anything to you. If a man abuses you in any way, shape, or form, it’s on him. It isn’t on the shoulders of every other man in existence.

Misandry isn’t the answer. Don’t let your fear turn into hatred, please. Learn to grow past it. Because no matter how scared you are, there are people strong enough to protect you, who are willing to do so in the blink of an eye. People who don’t even know you who still love you enough to treat you like family. And it’s not their fault that there are fucked up people. People, not just men. People.

My childhood innocence was stripped when I was about 3, my dad was driving drunk with me in the car and some guy cut him off. So he proceeded to chase him down. Then the guy got out of his car and grabbed a crowbar. I would wake up from naps and my dad was nowhere to be found. Throughout the years I watched him fall down stairs and stumble around. I was terrified. He would come and leave and I would see my mom cry every time. I watched him and my mom scream at each other why I sat on the porch covering my ears. My brother asked me when I was 6 “do you wanna see your dad get beat with a club?” Id go to school and get no relief because I was picked on day after day. I truly believe the trauma of your childhood melds you into someone different. I often wonder what I would have been like if it hadn’t happened. Would I not be a shy, anxiety ridden depressed person? Or would I be exactly the same? I don’t think children should have to have an adult mind and issues. Because then you have all this baggage that weighs you down all the time. It’s always there in your mind. I think people think that children don’t catch on to things or wont remember. But that’s the farthest from the truth. They are so observant. It strips their childhood away from them. And puts them in a position to deal with things that they should have no business having to deal with. If adults have a hard time dealing with it, how do you think it is for children?
—  Chapters from my life
Love Always Wakes the Dragon

(and suddenly flames everywhere)

It could be worse. You do have all the luxuries befitting a princess, though one charged with treason. But a gilded cage is still a cage. And the prospect of withering away in this, the tallest tower of the Palace of Asgard, in the same place where your once-betrothed will live and marry and rule from, it’s almost too much to bear.


author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Thor x Jotun!Reader
word count: 4067
warnings: brat prince Thor, unprotected sex, oral sex, hair pulling, choking

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dear dad, if i should even call you that
because you know you were never a dad, nothing more than rat
you were scum, you were a liar, you were a cheater, you were a jerk
and mom and me, we tried, but being a family shouldn’t be so much work
why’d you do it dad?
why’d you hurt us so bad?
all we wanted was your love, why was that so much to ask?
why was us being a family such an impossible task?
i’ve always wanted a dad, what i got was a father
it used to tear me up inside, used to destroy me like no other
but thank god i’ve got my mom, she’s twice the person you ever were
she’s a real class act despite everything you did to her
she was there when you weren’t and i know she always will be
so why am i crying over you? you aren’t crying over me
i don’t need you, i never did, and i know i never will
that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt sometimes, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt still
but i’m stronger than you realize, and i’ll make it without you in my life
mom and me, we’ll be okay, even though your betrayal cut us like a knife
so fuck you dad, fuck you for all the pain
all the hurt, all the tears, all the bruises, all the strain
fuck you for everything you did to my mom
and excuse my language but how can you expect me to be calm?
because damn it dad, i’m angry, and i can’t help but to hate you
do you even blame me? after everything you put me through?
do you even care? do you even feel remorse?
or are you just thankful that mom finally asked for a divorce?
are you going to miss me – your own flesh and blood?
because i won’t miss you; our blood was never thicker than mud
your blood may run through my veins
i may carry your name
but i’ll never be yours; i’ve had it, i’m through
i’m not your child anymore, there’s no more “me and you”
so dad, this is goodbye, i wish you all the best – actually, no i don’t
i just wish you’ll get our head on straight, but i feel as though you won’t
i’m not holding my breath, i’m not waiting for a miracle
excuse me for being nothing but cynical
but you had your chance; again and again you did
and you never thought to change, not even for your kid
so dad, this is it, there’s nothing left i have to say
and for what it’s worth, let me add: happy father’s day
i hope this letter opens your eyes, i hope you finally see
but until then, this is it. goodbye, and sincerely, me
—  happy father’s day iii - @weepiingangel
(cc, 2017)

When I watch these movies and I compare them to what happened in ca cw I am like …the main plot of these movies is the love of a child for their mother.

In legend of Tarzan


Tarzan kills the chief’s son because he killed his mother. The son killed kala. The chief and tarzan talk in the end.

Tarzan shouts, “ he killed my mother.” He is not over her death.

The chief said how was he supposed to know. And yes the son  didn’t know.

But tarzan killed him because his mother died in front of him. Kala was a mother to him. In rage, anger and grief he killed the son of the chief.

She was his mother dammit.


Erik lehnsherr in x men first class. He agrees with shaw about mutants. He agrees with shaw’s ideology. But he kills him because of his mother and he says this.

“The thing is you killed my mother.”

Shaw was a villain and  in the end erik became magneto and a villain too but the reason he kills shaw is because he had killed his mother in front of his eyes.

Erik killed lots of people in apocalypse but he is not treated as a villain. I like him too but I am not blind I can admit he was a villain.

Man of steel, Clark beats  zod to ground when he hurts Martha. He literally says “how dare you hurt my mother?”


Batman vs superman


The reason bruce stops is because he hears his mother’s name and when he realises what’s going on he saves clark’s mother.

He did not get over his parents death who were killed in front of him. The incident changed his whole life.


I just can’t understand how  people can be so callous and indifferent to the way Tony reacted. It’s not a post about whether Bucky was innocent or not. Yes he was, he was tortured for seventy years. I love the guy but Tony had the right to properly grieve for his mother, for his parents. He had the right to know the bloody truth the moment those hellicarriers crashed.

Howard Stark in comic beats up Tony. He is a bad father. But that’s not the case in MCU. He is shown to be a cold man. Indifferent to his family and son. There is no indication he beat up Tony.  I am not going to imagine that he beat him up. Tony says it himself in Iron Man 2,

“ he never even hugged me, he never even told me liked me.”

But the man did not beat Tony up. Tony did care for him. It’s shown clearly the way he closes his eyes as the winter soldier smashes howard’s skull.

The tremor that goes through Tony at the time is not of a man who doesn’t care about his father.

The father may have been indifferent and cold to the son. The son wasn’t. He cared for howard.

He said it in BARF session “I love you dad.”

In Iron Man, he says to stane, “I never got to say goodbye to my father.”

Those are not the words of a cold son. He did care for howard. Howard did not beat him up. He was a cold man that’s it. In his own stupid way he did tell Tony he cared for him. You are my greatest creation.

Maria says it in BARF session ,“you know what’s about to happen. If you don’t say something you’ll regret it.

He says, “love you dad.”

It tells clearly he regrets not telling that to his father.

He literally closed his eyes as the winter soldier killed howard.

Now let’s come to Tony’s mother. He loved her. That’s it. I am not going to say anything more.

He cared for his father but he loved his mother. He says it, “I don’t care he killed my mom.”

Why is it so hard to understand Tony’s reaction to bucky and steve.

The winter soldier choked the life out of Maria Stark and Tony saw it.

What exactly was he supposed to do Bucky after seeing something like that? Then he discovered Steve’s blunder and web of lies.

Leave Tony alone, he reacted as anyone would.


You don’t get over something like that. So its rubbish what some people say Tony should have gotten over it.

No. He did not get over it. He developed the tech to deal with it because he did not get over it.

These characters from the movies don’t get shit but Tony does. Why ? His reaction was completely normal. He watched them die damn it. He watched his mother die.

Why is it so hard to understand that.

4

Snape: You’re just like your father. Lazy, arrogant…
Harry: Don’t say a word against my father.
Snape: Weak.
Harry: I’m not weak.
Snape: Then prove it! Control your emotions! Discipline your mind!
                                                  Legilimens!

Alan Rickman as Severus Snape in “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”

10

“He wasn’t my friend. He was my partner. My lover. I used to hate those words, but his father hated them more, so I grew to love them. Elliot’s father, you may have heard of him. Sir Laurence Bishop. No? He owns just about everything in the U.K., including his family. When we first met, Elliot was messing around with boys in the backrooms of bars, all the while dating appropriate women. Appropriate by his father’s standards because they were women. I didn’t mean to fall for him. I’d never fallen for anyone. You see, I’m quite surprised you haven’t heard of Sir Bishop because he’s a good old fresh and righteous Anglican who wanted his only son to be so, too. It’s his legacy. You see, we still believe in that kind of stuff where I’m from. But when he found out that Elliot and me were more than friends, he cut him off. Closed every door. Said if he wanted back, he had to come back a man and… Well, Elliot hadn’t worked a day in his life, so he had nothing. Well, he had nothing but me. And that lasted about three months, and then he was gone. I tried to see him, but I couldn’t find him. His family wouldn’t talk to me. I reached out to his sister, who tried, but they got to her, too, and he stopped returning my calls. So I stopped calling. A year goes by. In the mail, a wedding invitation. “Sir Laurence Bishop invites you to attend the wedding of his son.” And I think, “Is this a joke? Is someone trying to screw with me?”. Or maybe it was him, you know? Maybe it was a cry for help. But whatever it was, I didn’t answer.”

and to everyone bitching about belle’s yellow gown:

i get it. i do. but in the words of my father (who was crying like a baby during most of the film): “people who say these things are just looking for something to pick on. there was probably not one person in that theater that could care less about what was wrong with it. they would have all said it was beautiful, and it was.”

I think it’s been effectively shown how effective jokes are as a weapon.

When you turn something into a joke, you dehumanize the entire concept, and it becomes near impossible for people to actually talk about it or do anything with it and be taken seriously (or not have it be seen as worthless or shameful).

It isn’t a coincidence that the majority of these jokes tend to be aimed at the most vulnerable people.


New artists who are learning to experiment and branch out and share their art and be creative and express themselves and have fun.

Trauma survivors who work through and come to terms with things via OCs, sexuality, “emo” art / music, etc.

Coping, triggers, validity, “daddy issues”

Communities that have a high percentage of neurodivergent people (esp autistic people), like otherkin or asmr

The furrry community, which has a lot of lgbt+ people who are able to explore their identities in a community where gender expression and diversity is encouraged and heteronormativity has little space to exist

Y’all have even managed to dehumanize an entire age group. (12 year olds) 


Do you remember when some members of the furry community were shot, and it was turned into a joke, and many people couldn’t keep a straight face about it? Or when there was a chlorine gas attack at a furry convention, and it was also treated as a joke?


I’m not saying you’re a bad person if you’ve engaged in this trend, especially if you’re a part of the community it affects; society has made it damn near impossible to even exist and expect to be taken seriously if you don’t conform and fit in. And, in private spaces where everyone is okay with it, joking about sensitive topics can make it bearable, make things easier to talk about, and turn fear into courage.

But as a society, we really need to be aware of the effects and consequences these attitudes have.

dustonmyscreen  asked:

goddamnit now i'm thinking about bb derek playing party games 😑 (hs au, obvs) super awkward jock derek sitting in a circle with jydia and all their jock friends (and stiles too they guess whatever but just because he brought alcohol) playing truth or dare or sth and derek's like. sweating through his t-shirt bc stiles gets handsy when drunk and rn he's leaning over to fondle derek's biceps and shoulders and going 'huh. no wonder finstock's been trying to recruit you for lacrosse.'

someone probably dared derek to strip his shirt off and flex his muscles, which, fine, whatever, would probably be no big deal on a normal day because he changes in front of most of these people for basketball anyway and they just wanna make him look kinda stupid. but no. today stiles is here, and lydia knows about derek’s huge crush on him–not that he would ever, ever tell her about it, but lydia is terrifying and omnipotent–and she is 101% doing this to him on purpose. but he’s a little drunk already and feeling looser than usual, so he does it. his friends mockingly wolf-whistle, but a few of their girlfriends and one or two of the guys give him lingering looks, and he feels more awkward than ever. especially because one of those guys is stiles, which is weird and stressful and agh, because why is he staring so intently? sure, he’s a little drunk, but he’s looking at derek like he’s in a staring contest with his pecs. and yeah, derek knows he’s conventionally attractive, his sisters love to tease him about how cuuuute everyone at school thinks he is, but really he’s just wildly awkward and nerdy and would seriously like his shirt back on, particularly so the cutest guy in school will stop looking at him like that. he has no idea why it makes him feel so inadequate when stiles has given no indication it’s negative attention, but it does. he grabs his shirt back and is about to pull it on when stiles grabs him by the bicep, running his hand along it and blinking slowly because he’s more than a little tipsy, and says, “huh, no wonder finstock’s been trying to recruit you for lacrosse.” derek hopes people will attribute the sudden redness in his cheeks to the alcohol rather than being totally and completely flustered, but based on the team’s snickers, he doubts it. the next day, when stiles is sober and derek is on his way to the gym for practice, someone grabs him lightly by the arm again. “so it wasn’t just my drunk mind running wild,” stiles says, winking. “you really should try out for lacrosse sometime. maybe you and i can get in some workouts together. and not necessarily in the gym.” derek is at a loss for words when mccall suddenly turns the corner, and stiles runs to catch him. over his shoulder, he grins and yells, “text me!” and derek is ready to melt into a puddle on the floor. but… after he texts stiles.