People fear someone falling out of love with them, but no one usually questions what it’s like to be the one falling out. They can’t picture feeling that something must be horribly wrong with you because there’s no other plausible explanation for why your heart doesn’t flutter when you look at him like it used to. It was the position I never thought I would find myself in, yet here I was, looking at the man I supposedly loved and not feeling a thing. If there was anything there, it was negative. Annoyance, anger, sadness, the complete opposite of everything he used to make me feel. It wasn’t right to let him believe things were okay, so I told him. Watching his facial expression drift from a quiet seriousness into a brokenness I never thought I would cause, I wished I didn’t mean the words I said but I knew I did. I couldn’t keep running away, after all, where could I go when the person that used to feel like home no longer did?
Maxwell Diawuoh, Request: Telling the guy you love that you’re falling out of love for the same reason you fell in love with him.
Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely.
If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.
I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book.
Nikita Gill, Advice for Teenage Girls Finding Their Way Through Love.
You treat girls like matches. You light them up and use them for their spark, but then you let them burn out. And I hate to tell you but you made a mistake with me. My spark survived you and my flame is catching. Someone should’ve told you not to play with fire because everything you’ve ever known is about to go up in smoke, and I’m the reason for the blaze.
I think that’s where I went wrong. If there was something you did that bothered me, I just brushed it off. I gave you chance after chance. I put my wants and needs on a shelf and let them collect dust while compulsively making sure I was aware of yours. Forget letting you have just a place in my heart, I let you have almost the whole thing, leaving just enough for myself so I could keep going. I loved you, but I didn’t love myself, and that was the biggest mistake I could’ve made.