words of deadpool

4

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A knock sounded on the door. Wade Wilson was on his feet and pirouetted his way to the door in a matter of seconds, flinging it wide open.

“Thank Thor (or Loki)! I was about to starve!

The kid at the door looked on, vaguely unimpressed at Wade’s antics. “Are you the mister Pool comma Dead who ordered a large, uh… pineapple olive, large anchovy mushroom, and large special order of four cheese with… mozzarella sticks as the topping?” he recited the order in a bored drawl, but there was a hint of judgement in his tone. So Wade liked his pizzas with a bit of zest and creativity. Was it a crime? Part of Wade hoped it was, how thrilling would it be to live on the run from the cops for daring to order a pizza outside the conventional system? It would make a great movie! He should write it, he could make millions-

“I’m taking that as a yes,” Pizza kid said, clearing his throat loudly. “If you could maybe pay for these, I gotta get going.” He shifted the pizzas in his grip with a peeved look on his face.

Okay, rude. It’s not like Wade had made him stand there for… Wade checked his watch. Oh. Nearly five minutes. Okay, maybe he’d been dissociating a bit longer than he realized. “My bad,” Wade said, reaching for his wallet, “what do I owe ya for, pretty boy?”

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lunarshores  asked:

"zero fucks given. next please.” pairing of your choice <3

(aw thank you! imma do spideypool because that’s easiest lol. I also edited it a lil bit and took out the word “please” so I hope you don’t mind. ily

Tony was in a mood today, from what Peter could tell. Well, he had a lot of moods, actually. Most of them were good, like when he gets in a building mood or an all-of-my-enemies-are-going-to-regret-being-born mood. 

This one, however, was not a good mood. This was his I-disapprove-of-your-relationship mood, and Peter was just waiting for him to snap and start complaining about Wade again. He’d already done it seven times since they’d started dating two weeks ago. 

As if on cue, Tony suddenly dropped what he was working on and swiveled to face Peter. “Why Wilson?”

Peter groaned, but didn’t look up. “Can we not do this again? I was enjoying not talking about it.”

“No, because I still don’t like him.”

“That’s because you’re a child and you refuse to see my point of view.” Peter pointed out, crossing his arms.

Tony glared at him, and it felt like being glared at by a five-year-old. “I don’t like him. He’s not good for you.”

“How would you know? You’re not dating him.”

“I’ve worked with him before. On multiple occasions. It’s not hard to learn how his weird mind works.”

“It is, actually, you’ve just never tried.”

Tony rolled his eyes at him, which was stupid. If anyone was going to do some eye-rolling, it was going to be Peter. “There’s still so many reasons to not date him.”

“Like what?” Peter asked, officially abandoning the web-shooter he was trying to fix. “Please, give me a list of reasons to not date my boyfriend.”

“One,” Tony started, and Peter rolled his eyes because of course Tony had a real list, “he murders people for a living. For money.”

“First off, that’s super hypocritical. Second, we have an arrangement for that.”

“I know your morals, kid. It won’t work forever.”

Peter resisted explaining that Wade only did jobs related to protection or stealing-without-killing anymore, deciding it could be used to crush his argument later. “Right. Sure.”

“Two,” Tony continued, “the guy gives zero fucks about killing people, which is not hypocritical for me to say because I actually care.”

Peter wondered how obvious it was that he didn’t care about this entire conversation. Apparently, not obvious enough. “Yep. Zero fucks given. Next?”

Tony glared at him. “Are you even listening?”

“God, no. It’s been the same argument for the last four arguments.”

“Well until you listen, you’re gonna keep getting them.”

Peter looked up to the ceiling–or JARVIS, whichever could provide more guidance–and sighed. “Look, Tony, I get that you care. And I get that you think this is a bad idea,” he added quickly when Tony opened his stupid mouth, “but really, he makes me happy, and he’s not going to hurt me. So please, for the love of god, shut up and let’s have a pleasant afternoon of fixing shit like we normally do. Because Wade’s not going anywhere, and I’m assuming you aren’t either. So get over it.”

Tony just stared at him. After making Peter wait a stupidly long time for a response, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hate him.”

“I know. But I don’t.”

“You should.”

“But I don’t.”

“If he hurts you, I’m gonna kill him.” Tony said, looking Peter in the eye.

“I know. But I doubt he will.”

Tony sighed again. “Just so you know, I’m never gonna approve of this. I’ll just quietly disapprove.”

Peter smiled. “That works. Oh, and stop sending him vague death threats.”

Tony mocked surprise. “You’ve been getting death threats?”

Peter raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “Stop it.”

“Fine. But some of those were funny.”

Peter shoved him. “You half-convinced Wade someone was trying to kill me, you ass. He wouldn’t let me do anything alone for like three days.”

Tony frowned. “Well that was the complete opposite of the desired effect.”

“Yeah, yeah. Will you stop meddling now?”

“No.” Tony instantly replied, earning a punch to the arm. “But I will slightly lessen my efforts.”

Peter knew that was as good as it was going to get. “Fine. Now hand me that screwdriver and play some bad old people music.”

Tony grinned at him, and things felt slightly more okay. “JARVIS, play my anti-Peter playlist.”

Ginger Cheese

Summary: Hi there! I am very new to your blog but I’ve been reading a lot of your stuff and I think your writing is super good!!! I was just wondering if I could make a Weasel (Deadpool) request? Something like the reader’s ex shows up at Sister Margaret’s one night and Weasel takes him outside to keep the regulars from killing him. Reader goes to make sure no one gets hurt and overhears Weasel saying cute stuff? And fluff maybe? Sorry that’s so long but I hope it makes sense! Please and cheese and thank. 

“Words are said, cheeks are kissed, people are touched, love is created.” -Abby (I feel this is something Wade would say xD)

Characters: Reader, Weasel, Emily, Chuck, Max

Fandom: Marvel- Deadpool

Word Count: 743

Requested: @ging-snapped 

AN: The title makes no sense I know but whatever this is mine so ha! I’m sorry… Enjoy Ginger Cheese :)

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HOLY SHIT I HIT 1,000!!!

Originally posted by parrilla-collins

1,000 Follower Celebration Challenge!!!

First of all, I want to thank each and every one of ya’ll for taking a chance on me and reading my fics. This blog used to be my personal, and I understand that some of my old followers may have stuck around, but I literally cannot believe how quickly my little squad has grown!!!

Thank you for being patient with me, thank you for reading the things I post, thank you for being supportive and lovely and making my days better.

So enough about me, here’s my two cents on this challenge.
I wanted to do something that wasn’t exhausted already (ie song, drabble, head canon etc), and considering the wild amount of challenges that have been going on since December, I didn’t want to overbear anyone. (Don’t worry, next milestone I’ll be doing something for everyone!) So I’m combining a list of my favourite things to make things a bit easier on ya’ll. Please read carefully all of the rules below. Just send me an ASK if you’re unsure of anything. And of course, there will be a huge celebratory masterlist permanently posted on my blog afterwards!

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Guardian Angel - Part 1 - Jimin angst

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

:D

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6
____________

Jimin had made a mistake. He had fucked up, and he had fucked up big.

It had started two years ago, when he had turned eighteen and he was able to see his charge for the first time. He was excited, rolling back and forth on the balls of feet and playing with his fingers as he was called forwards to look into the Pool that only The Ancients were allowed near.

Or an angel on their eighteenth birthday, the most important occasion in their entire lives.

Jimin had been waiting to see his charge his entire life, and now he was going to go down to the human world and look after her. His fingers were trembling with adrenaline and he almost stumbled up the countless amount of stairs to reach the Pool when he was beckoned forth.

He didn’t hear any of the words that were said to him, he only eagerly tripped forwards to look into the seemingly normal font of water.

He stared at the water, waiting, when suddenly it began to ripple and then dissipate, colours and pictures swirling to life in it. He leaned forwards in his excitement, nose almost becoming wet in his rush to catch sight of his charge.

Of his soulmate.

He could finally see her and his eyes widened.

There were two girls, arms looped through each others and laughing together. They were seemingly walking home from school, the heavy binders and notebooks wrapped in their free arms an indicator, and Jimin couldn’t help but smile at their friendship.

The girl on the right was stunningly beautiful and she immediately caught Jimin’s attention; long, silky black hair running down her back, big round doe eyes and plump lips. Her friend was almost painfully average, but Jimin didn’t pay much mind to her. His eyes were glued to the girl on the right, knowing that she was his charge and his soulmate.

So why didn’t his heart feel full? Why did he feel like he was missing something?

Of course, at that age, he was just thrilled that he had seen her, so he ignored the feeling inside. All of that would come later, he assumed.

That was his first mistake.

A year and three months had passed and now he was incredibly close to the two of you. He had found out that his chosen soulmate was named Mina, and your name was Y/N. He enjoyed the company of both of you, indeed, but everything Mina did was with grace and poise and he couldn’t help but go weak whenever she was near.

His relationship with Mina was much different than his relationship with yours. Every Saturday he would head to your house with a plastic bag full of assorted snacks and ice cream, and you would put in a new DVD and you would watch it together whilst munching on whatever he bought. He always enjoyed those nights with you because they were so comfortable and you always picked good movies.

He usually went shopping with Mina, and he would carry her bags for her for hours. He would trail behind her, sometimes giving opinions on outfits she tried on. He liked these times with her because it meant he got to spend time with her, and he was deep enough in love with her that it meant a lot to him.

“Jimin!” you called from your kitchen as you put the popcorn in the microwave. “I really couldn’t decide on the movie this week so I bought three that looked good. Do you wanna pick this time?”

Jimin leant forwards from his position on the sofa to pick up one of the disc cases.

“What do you want to drink?”

“The usual, please.” he called back, eyes still scanning the words on the back of the case.

You padded back into the living room, handing Jimin a can of chilsung cider and plopping onto the seat next to him.

“Personally, I’d go for Deadpool, but I reckon it’s your turn to pick now.”

“Deadpool looks good…” he muttered absentmindedly, tongue peeking out between his teeth as he read the words. “Yeah, let’s go with Deadpool. I haven’t had the chance to see it yet.”

“No, me neither. Alright, I’ll put it in. Can you go get the popcorn please?”

“Sure thing.”

He heaved himself off the sofa as you crouched down in front of the DVD player to put the disc in and he walked into the kitchen to get the popcorn out of the microwave.

Just as he was pouring the bag of popcorn into a bowl for the two of you, his phone buzzed in his pocket and he slid it out quickly, heart faltering slightly at the sight of Mina’s name.

Mina <3: Jimin, wyd?
Jimin: It’s Saturday night. I’m doing what I do every Saturday
Mina <3: Oh yeah, forgot about your boring movie night. Come hang w me?

Jimin frowned slightly at the words, feeling conflicted. He always looked forwards to spending time with you, but his soulmate and charge was calling for him…

He looked towards the living room to see if you were near before replying to her text.

Jimin: Okay, but only for an hour
Mina <3: Sweet :) Door’s unlocked

Jimin sighed, taking the bowl of popcorn and placing it on the coffee table in the living room before straightening up and looking at the back of your head until you turned to face him, smiling bright. The sight of your smile made his heart pang painfully and guilt settle in his stomach.

“Hey, Y/N…” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“You okay?” you asked, smile fading as you took in his expression.

“Uh, yeah, it’s just, something came up and I have to go do something for a while, is that okay? I promise I’ll be back soon, I just need to go and sort this thing out.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Is everything okay?” you asked, concern touching your face.

His heart sank again and he looked away quickly, hating the sight of you worrying over him when he was lying straight to your face.

“Yeah, everything’s cool, it’s all good, I just, uh, have to go now! See you in a bit, Y/N.”

With that, he grabbed his jacket and slid his shoes on, basically running out the door to avoid that look in your eyes.

In his car on the way to Mina’s house, he couldn’t help but feel that he was doing the wrong thing. But he wasn’t. His charge needed him, didn’t she? Yeah, he was fine. Y/N would be fine.

He stood on her doorstep after ringing the doorbell, keeping his head down to shield himself from the light drizzle. He heard footsteps, a shuffling, a scraping and Mina’s face was revealed behind the door.

Jimin’s heart thumped pathetically at the sight of her, scantily clad, smiling up at him. Some unknown feeling erupted within him, but he ignored it. He quashed down all the warning signs. He disregarded all of the things he had been told and all the things he had read in his first eighteen years of life so he could spend this one night with the woman he thought he was in love with.

What a fuck up that turned out to be.

There he was, a few hours later, sheets pulled up to his waist as he stared at the woman sleeping peacefully next to him, their clothes littering the floor. His bare chest heaved as he registered what he was feeling for the first time since he had met her.

He couldn’t even name it. It was complete and utter. It was soul-destroying. It felt like somebody had taken his entire being and pulled it apart, messing with the pieces, before cramming him all back together in the wrong place. It was like somebody had torn the wings straight from his back and then blended them up. It was like… It was like he had just made love to someone that wasn’t his soulmate.

Jimin didn’t understand. He could have sworn that Mina was his soulmate. She made him feel happy and content, she made him feel like he was supposed to be there.

But she wasn’t his. She was some other angel’s, and Jimin can only pray that they weren’t around to find him in bed with their soulmate.

So who was his soulmate? It was somebody near to here, but he didn’t have many friends outside of you and Mina. He spoke to people he worked with sometimes, and the customers, but nobody left a lasting impression on him.

His head started to pound the longer he thought, but he couldn’t come up with anything. He had spent so long getting Mina’s attention and fighting for her love and now that he had it, she was the wrong person.

His phone buzzed and his hand automatically flew towards it as if some puppeteer had tugged on his strings.

Y/N: I hope everything is going okay. I have to cancel movie night because something came over me and I feel really ill, so goodnight Jimin :)

Suddenly everything fell into place.

________________________

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

Friend

Originally posted by ageofsuperheroes

The reader is Wolverine’s daughter and dates Deadpool?

Words:989

Warnings: Blood, Language


——————–


     Y/N opened her front door and stepped into the dark room trying not to make any noise.

“Where were you?” Her father asked sitting at the dining room table with a stern look on his face.

“I was out with some friends.” Y/N answered taking off her coat and shoes.

“I don’t think your friends walk around in red and black suits.” Wolverine looked at his metal claws.

“You don’t know what they are into.” Y/N said sarcastically knowing she was caught.

“I don’t want you around him, he’s dangerous.” Wolverine said standing up.

“Everyone can be dangerous if they really want to be.” Y/N said trying to avoid the topic of Deadpool.

“He’s killed.” Wolverine argued.

“You’ve killed dad!” Y/N defended.

“If anything he protects me!” Y/N continued.

“How do you know he’ll protect you?” Her father questioned.

“Because he has before.” Y/N answers, Wolverine’s face drops.

“From who?” He hesitantly asks.

“I don’t know his name he just said he was going to get revenge and tried to kill me, Deadpool killed him before he could do anything.” That was just half of the story, after Deadpool killed the man he pulled Y/N in for a passionate kiss. Y/N was only going to let her father know about being friends for now.

“I don’t want him anywhere near this house and lord help me if he even hurts a hair on your head I’m killing him.” Wolverine threatened.

“Dad, he can’t die.” Y/N laughed.

“I’ll make him wish he could.” Wolverine said before kissing Y/N’s forehead.

“Goodnight sweetheart.” He then went to his bedroom, Y/N went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. That evening her and Wade went to a taco truck that Wade said ‘Had the best Mexican food in the world’ he wasn’t wrong either. They ended up getting loads of different food and sitting on a bridge while they ate, after that they walked around until they got to Y/N’s house where he kissed her goodbye and might have tried to grab her butt. Y/N smiled recalling the events that took place that evening and finished her glass of water, she went to her room and was in the middle of changing when she heard a knock on the window. She moved the curtain to peek out and saw a bloody deadpool outside of her window, she yanked the curtain back and opened the window pulling him in.

“What are you doing here, you know you can’t be here!” Y/N loudly whispered.

“I missed you?” Deadpool said hoping he said the right thing, Y/N sighed and went into the bathroom that was connected to her room, she returned with a first aid kit.

“Sit on the bed.” She demanded.

“I just got here and you’re already demanding I get on your bed, I like it.” Deadpool said plopping down on the bed.

“Be quiet my dad said he would kill you if he sees you here.” Y/N told him.

“1 He can’t kill me, 2 How does he know we are together?” Deadpool asks with worry lacing his voice.

“He doesn’t know we’re together, he thinks we are friends.” Y/N informs him.

“When is he going to know we are together? Ooh is it going to be him coming to wake you up and see me in your bed like all those movies?” Deadpool asks excitedly.

“He’s not going to find out Wade.” Y/N tells him.

“Are you ashamed of me?” He asks quietly letting his insecurities get the best of him.

“No Wade I would never be ashamed of you.” Y/N told him while unpacking the first aid kit, Wade sighed feeling extremely insecure. Y/N walked towards him with a bottle of alcohol and cotton balls.

“This is going to hurt handsome.” Y/N calls Wade that even though she has never seen his face, Wade has told her he looks like an old avocado but she still calls him handsome.

“I’m sure I can handle it.” Wade joked, Y/N cleaned up his cuts on his body.

“Wade you need to take off your mask.” Y/N told him.

“I’m fine.” Wade said trying to stand up but Y/N pushed him back down on the bed.

“Wade you need to take off your mask.” Y/N said a little more forcefully.

“You’ll run.” He said.

“Why would I run?” Y/N questioned.

“I’m horrifying, you don’t want to see me.” He told her.

“Wade, I would never be scared of you for one, and for two I would rather see you face than this mask.” Y/N said taking some of the fabric between her fingers.

“Please.” She says quietly, Wade sighed.

“Go ahead.” He finally gives in, Y/N smiled before slowly taking his mask of. When she finally has taken it fully off she smiles at him.

“See, handsome.” She smiles before kissing his cheek and grabbing more cotton balls and alcohol. Wade was surprised by her reaction, it was like she saw him like this everyday and it made him happy. She continued to clean the cuts on his face, he stared up at her.

“What did I do to deserve you?” He asks her.

“If I recall correctly you told me I had a nice ass.” Y/N laughed.

“Well I wasn’t wrong.” Wade says pulling Y/N down onto the bed with him and kissed her lips.

“You know, I think you need a shower.” Y/N said with a mischievous look.

“Fuck yeah I do, and you’re coming with me.” Wade said pulling her towards the bathroom. Little did they know that her dad was actually going to wake her up that morning and see a scarred Wade in the bed with her, just like those movies Wade was talking about.

I’m just going to rant for a second: I’ve read a lot of articles that argue that Deadpool can’t be pansexual because he hasn’t experienced anything except heterosexual sex, or that he must not “want” to actually have sex with men, and only likes to make gay jokes for fun. (Also, apparently, pansexuality is seen in the general public as “wanting to fuck everything”? I can’t believe people can be so ignorant- they’re obviously thinking of arrogant, entitled straight men.) Because, of course, “no homo,” to preserve your masculinity. They don’t want Deadpool to be anything other than straight, so they pretend that the way he talks to men is “just bros”.

The fact that people deny Deadpool being labelled as anything other than straight simply based upon his sexual experiences shows how deep heteronormativity cuts into our culture. You do NOT have to sleep with someone to know that you identify as non-heterosexual. Sexual orientations (and romantic orientations!) can be fluid and ambiguous, and are deeply personal. Despite what non-LGBT+ people would like to think, you do not get to decide what label fits us. We do.

People don’t like ambiguity, and when a character’s sexuality is not referenced or pinned down, or even refined, people panic. They want a coming-out story, an “origin” story, a reason for why a character is the way they are or an explanation of the parameters of their existence. There have been far too may coming-out stories for LGBT+ characters, and not enough stories about their EXISTENCE. And we wonder why society pretends LGBT+ people don’t exist?

But what if a character’s sexuality just IS, without needing an explanation or an excuse? That’s the kind of movie I want to see.

Am I doing these blogging stuff right? Here’s some words from my head

After Deadpool got his game and a movie things got pretty crappy. I mean people now as annoyed by him as they are in comics. I started with a comics some years ago, don’t remember when exactly, it was slow process until I got obsessed. And by the time then I got just enough crazy about this character game was out. And as I had my leather jacket colored into Deadpool outfit people started to be really rude. And they still ok to comment out loud smth like “that bitch probably haven’t seen any comic book in her life”. I PROBABLY READ MORE COMICS THAN YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT. Not a thing to be proud about, but who cares.  After a movie things got worse. But still there is plenty of cheerfully nice dudes. And thats awesome, always brighten my day
Anyway, actually I’ve finally watched a movie and played the game just few months ago. Its really nice. Except for his face in the movie. What are he? A Tom Cruise? (ha, get it? comics ref) With a pretty skin like this he could have real chance to get laid with Spiderman. C’mon he’s much better then you want to vomit just by one look on him unmasked. Still its really cool Ryan Reynolds finally won his long hard battle for making this movie. Good job. I’m happy about it.

Ugh, its not a post how I don’t like smth or irritated. Nah, I fine with everything, relax. Just a bit uncomfortable in way like “oh jeez I see your intense look please don’t speak about Pool with me. Don’t ruin my mood I can’t beat you”.

People see him like a funny insane guy. Yeah, how about suicide which is almost his hobby? His kinda depressive. And his voices are real, its not even insanity. Good thing about him, he knows how to make his life more happy even its… uhm nvm.
Pfft, no, I’m not a pro in his comics history. Mostly I’ve read it drunk with a bag of fast food in my hands. 
Also I have favorite gay porn fanfic about Deadpool with Spider man. With spanking and all that good bdsm things to jerk off on.
Lol may be its because I was a Spidey fan long long time ago (since I was a kid till college or so). WIth a comics collection, figures, toothbrushes and all that weird geek stuff. And I still find Spiderman stickers on inappropriate surfaces x) Hes not my type of character now, but I like long faces then people get to know this thing about me.

Anyway the right way to be interested in something is to get pleasure and some kind of personal growth from it (believe me or not but theres plenty of good thing to learn from Deadpool. At least from comics… some of then. Ahem). Not to judge others. I love my ugly Dpool jacked, thank you, piss off. I’m happy to be interested in this.

Here’s picture of my jacket-of-social-suffer. And me. And hot dogs. (thats me today!)

Can you do a Deadpool one.? He is sent to kill y/n but she kiks his ass and gets away. Next time he asks her out but she says no. He starts for follow her everywhere and after a while she says yes. Something like that. Love ~ K ❤

Warning: Language,violence,blood

Words:1,103

Deadpool was walking, well, skipping his way to the address that was supposed to be Y/N’s apartment. He was being paid 15k to kill her, she was apparently a very lethal assassin that was a threat to who was paying him. He made it to her apartment going through the window into her living room, he looked around the house for her until he made it to the last room. He opened the door slowly to see her in just a large t-shirt and underwear.

“Hot damn.” He said to himself, apparently he said pretty loud because Y/N’s head whipped around.

“Good going.” One of the voices in his head said to him. He ran to the closest room which happened to be the dining room. He heard Y/N’s light steps echo through the house, suddenly the footsteps stopped.

“Shit.” He mumbled.

“You’re really bad at being quiet aren’t you?”  Y/N asks sarcastically twirling her sword, Deadpool jumps from his spot swinging his katana at her. She dodges the hit and swings at his leg cutting it open.

“It sad that someone with such a good ass has to die but i’m sure i can get some like it with what i’m getting paid.” Deadpool kicks her legs making her fall, he holds the katana to her neck.

“I do have a good ass but i’m not dying.”  Y/N swiftly brings her leg up kicking the katana out of his hands, standing up she kicks his chest sending him crashing through her window as he falls 13 stories to the ground. She throws his katana out after which ended up stabbing into his leg.

“Dammit now i have to get this fixed.”  Y/N says pulling the shirt down that rose up before heading to bed.

The next night Y/N was in her black leather suit with a dagger in each hand making her way to an old warehouse. She made her way into the warehouse through a sunroof window, she landed on the floor with a soft thud. She made her way to the room that held a hefty man counting money, she opened the door as his head snapped up.

“Who are you?” He asks eyeing her daggers.

“That’s none of your business.” She says slowly making her way towards the man. He presses a button alerting the rest of his men before Y/N stabs him in the throat. She slides her daggers into her belt before taking a picture of the man with her phone. She hears men shouting so she pulls out two pistols and walking leisurely out of the office, five men point guns at her face.

“Well that’s no way to greet a guest.” She says before quickly shooting two of them and dodging  the multiple bullets coming her way, she runs toward one of the men and jumps over him causing his partners bullet to fly into his chest.

“It’s not good to kill your own friend but whatever it makes my job easier.” She says before jumping up grabbing a pipe swinging to another walkway running down it, bullet are missing her by just an inch as she jumps out of the window onto another roof. After running from roof to roof she makes her way to her apartment building roof, she sits on the ledge until someone else sits next to her. She shoots at them but her gun is out of bullets.

“You know we are perfect for each other, sarcastic, killers, funny, hot, se-” Deadpool is cut off when Y/N stabs his leg.

“Fuck! What was that for?!” Deadpool asks clutching his leg.

“Why are you here?” Y/N asks her voice full of annoyance.

“I was here to ask you if you wanted to go out with me but then you go all stabby stabby.” Deadpool explains.

“Go away Deadpool.” Y/N says standing up.

“But will you go out with me?” He asks.

“No, go away.” Y/N says jumping onto the fire escape.

“Fine but i’ll be back.” Deadpool says jumping off of the roof.

—–

For the next 9 days Deadpool followed Y/N everywhere she went constantly asking her out and every time she refused she would get more and more annoyed, going to the extent of shooting him in the chest. Today Y/N had to kill the man that hired Deadpool to kill her, this was going to be fun she thought. She made her way to the building he was supposed to be at, when she got to the roof she saw Deadpool standing there waiting for her.

“Now what?” She asks making her way into the building.

“I just want to hang out with my sexy as fuck friend.” He replies following her into the building.

“Who said I was your friend?” She asks pulling out her gun.

“It’s either friend or girlfriend, i’m fine with either but i would prefer the ladder.” Deadpool also pulled out his gun.

“What are you doing?” Y/N asks eyeing his gun.

“Helping a friend.” He says opening the main door, at least 20 men start shooting at them. Y/N shoots 3 before jumping behind a crate shooting 4 more, she continued shooting killing 2 more before she was grabbed by her hair and a gun was placed to her head. She looked around seeing all of the men dead around Deadpool, he looked at her then to the gun at her head unsure of how he was going to do this.

“Deadpool.” Y/N says as the gun digs into her head.

“Yeah?” He answers cracking his arm into it’s correct position.

“If you get me out of this i’ll go on a date with you.” As soon as she says those words Deadpool is swinging from a railing kicking the man in the head and shooting him.

“So about that date?” He asks nonchalantly.

“We still need to kill Mr. Bossman.” Y/N says pointing to the room above them, before she can even take a step Deadpool is sprinting up the stairs bursting into the room. Y/N makes it up the stairs to hear a gunshot and Deadpool walks out of the room.

“Date, now.” Deadpool demands picking Y/N up and jumping out of the window.

The date ended up being Y/N and Deadpool at his place drinking beer and eating Mexican food. This led to a long line of dates at each others apartments and eventually Y/N becoming Deadpools girlfriend. They were now officially the most sarcastic duo of assassins.