There’s too many feelings and none of them are said out loud, and it’s all too much and not enough and Zayn’s too scared to change things between them and too afraid to let them stay the same. He presses his face into Harry’s hair and thinks of after uni, when things can happen between them for real. Sometimes it’s the only comfort he has, the only thing that pulls him through. ‘Harry,’ he says against his neck, feeling himself wilting when Harry presses a kiss to Zayn’s hair, his arms drawn tight across Zayn’s shoulders. ‘Harry, I don’t think I can do this.’
They’ve been half in love since the summer before Zayn went to university and every year since, but sometimes, it’s still not enough.