tfw ur trying to write plot but ur brain only provides you with out-of-sequence snippets built on vague ideas and an endless number of potential outcomes that develop and branch out unnaturally over an unspecified timespan
my condolences to anyone who’s ever lost me
and to anyone who got lost in me
or to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me.
for the misunderstanding or the lack thereof.
i’m sorry you missed the God in me.
and i’m sorry you missed the light.
i’m sorry you forgot the way i arose like the moon,
night after night.
with the burden to forgive
eager to feed you everything.
see.. i’m a holy woman.
i know what it’s like to give life to a being
without ever needing to press skin against one another.
i’ve practiced how to hold my tongue long enough,
i’m afraid i forgot to say goodbye.
i’m afraid you’re under the impression that i was made to please you.
i was under the impression, you understood me better.
the truth is,
i’m a super woman.
and somedays i’m an angry woman.
and somedays i’m a crazy woman.
for still waiting..
for still loving harder even if i’m aching.
for still trusting that I’m still worth the most.
for still searching
for someone to understand me better.
There’s something so unpredictable and exhilarating about the wild that keeps me coming back for more. I was up in the Yosemite back country a couple of weeks ago on a solo one night trip. I thought I was awake because it felt too vivid to be a dream. I appeared to be staring up at the stars for about an eternity before I decided to whip out my camera and take some pictures.
My initial plan was to pose on this rock with my flashlight pointing towards the stars. I was sitting still focusing and preparing when the most magical thing happened to me. A grazing Stag wondered up onto the same rock my lens was pointed at. I instinctively held unto my shutter, for dear life as we both stared into each other’s souls this for what conveniently felt like an forever. As if to say “shhh, you saw nothing” he jumped off the rock and majestically cantered into the distance.
I had to wake up and replicate what I thought had happened. I can only hope that one day I’ll experience something as intimate and magical as that.