words and years

Ethika

[ao3]

1.4k words
Hungover Jensen, post Jib

Jensen opens his eyes and immediately closes them again. His head is pounding, it’s too bright in the hotel room, his entire body aches.

After a couple minutes of stretching and groaning and adjusting his eyes to the sunlight, he fumbles for his phone on the nightstand and ends up with a piece of notebook paper in his hand instead. In terrible handwriting, there are a few random words on the paper like “breakfast,” “crepe options,” and “hamburger meat with onions.” He bunches the paper up and tosses it aside before grabbing his phone and lying back down against the bed.

For some reason his email app is open, and a drafted email is waiting to be sent. It’s addressed to Jim Michaels, with the subject line “Get fuckd.”

In the body of the email is written, “I think I want to quit the show and open a food truck. I have a lot of great ideas for a food truck, and I’m writing up a menu right—”

Jensen deletes the drafted email and scrambles through his sent messages to make sure he didn’t actually email anyone. Thankfully, he didn’t.

He checks his text messages next and finds that the only person he texted yesterday was his wife. Thank fucking god.

Babe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m wearing the underwear you bought me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The pair I said I’d never wear in a million years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m wearing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Babe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jensen’s eyes widen and his face heats up as he stares at his phone, the words blurring together. He tears the covers away from his lap and looks down at himself. The only thing he’s wearing is a pair of peach-colored boxer briefs that are too big on him.

Keep reading

  • me: listens to a song
  • me:
  • me: listens to it again because i didn't listen hard enough the first time

i respect my taste in music more than i respect myself

1. Let go of anyone that doesn’t make you feel happy and cut the ties, no matter how good of a friend that person was. If they no longer make you feel good, if they no longer make an effort to stay in contact, make sure to distance yourself. Maybe things will relax in time, maybe they won’t. But don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t care.
2. Don’t try to run from pain. Don’t shut it out. Face it, cry, scream, throw a pillow at the wall - do whatever makes you feel better, then try to find closure and start over. You can’t outrun pain, it will catch up to you sooner or later.
3. Take care of yourself. You are important. Don’t neglect your own needs because you’re so focused on putting the people you love first.
4. Accept your flaws, your scars and the mistakes you made. Embrace them. They make you who you are.
5. Tell people how you feel about them. I have a hard time taking my own advice, but I know what it’s like to regret not opening up to someone only to be confronted with the situation that you no longer can. There is so much to gain, nothing to lose.
6. Don’t be scared to dream. If there is something you want to do with your life, don’t let someone else’s opinion stop you.
7. Be patient. If I have learned anything this year, it’s that everything moves at its own pace, whether it’s the amount of time your heart needs to heal or the weeks or months or years you need to move on. Small steps, always.
8. Forgive others - and forgive yourself. Forgiving doesn’t equal forgetting, it doesn’t mean that you should accept destructive and abusive behaviour from someone else (or yourself, for that matter). Forgiving sets your soul free. You’ll feel lighter and better.
9. Read more. Books are magical. There is no easier way to escape your own thoughts for a couple of hours than reading.
10. Make time for people you love. Distance means nothing if you keep them close to you in your heart. Talk to them, text them, ask them how they are and what they’ve been up to and also: listen to them. It’s so important to listen.
—  10 things to keep in mind for 2017
n.j.
When you were asked about your plans for the future for the first time, you hadn’t even had your first day of school yet and there were dozens of szenarios in your head of how you’d spend your life.
It took a few years for your dreams to be shaped, until the vary shadows formed contours and you could answer with a small smile playing around your lips whenever someone asked you about that time which still felt so far ahead.
However, in middle school, you had to realize that life wouldn’t be as easy as you had thought before; that many of the things you had once dreamed of would never be possible but then, new ideas started to form in your head and when your friends told you about the subjects their older siblings were studying at university, you almost couldn’t wait to grow up and follow your dreams.
In high school, you had learned about your abilities and the topics you’re interested in, what you are good at and which issues you would rather avoid.
Now, when you were asked about your plans for the future, you could answer with several opportunities lying ahead of you and you’d talk about the cities where you would have liked to study. Graduating no longer seemed out of reach nor sight but still far enough away to not worry about details or feel the need to have your whole life planned out.
But then senior year comes around.
The first weeks, even months, still feel relatively normal, compared to high school, even though more and more people around you have a concrete idea of what they will do after they graduate.
But in the beginning, it’s still possible to laugh it all off, to shrug your shoulders and form an alliance of carelessness with those who feel as lost as you do when it comes to the future.
And you begin to remember all those dreams you once had, especially those who will never truly leave your mind and you cannot stop asking yourself whether it would actually be possible for you to follow them;
if maybe, just maybe, you are really free to achieve whatever you want.
Yet, it is still easy to forget about it all by focusing on the tasks ahead, the final exams and the preparations for the last educational events you’ll ever witness with these people who have been a part of your life for so long.
It’s not hard to simply surpress your worries and fears but then the end of this final year in school comes closer and closer until all the ‘last times’ are beginning.
The last time studying for an exam, the last presentation or the last movie you’ll watch bored to death while doodling on your paper.
But also the last free period spent outside in the sun with the people who mean the world to you, laughing until there are tears in your eyes and your ribs hurt, the last time being late to class because all of you rather stay in the car to finish singing this one song, the last time of ever laughing about a joke of that funny kid in your math class.
And then, suddenly, there is only one week left until you will all go separate ways, hoping that your paths will cross again someday and you cannot possibly understand that this part of your life, which seemed endless back when you were eight, will actually come to an end.
—  // and it is when you are standing on that hill behind the building, looking over the place where you spent almost your whole life, that you realize that it might just be true what people say;
that good things have to come to an end to make room for even greater adventures
j.d.m.
9

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