ratings of non-human things to tell your problems to

The Statue in the park- 7/10, good honest face that doesn’t change when you tell it you’re afraid of dying alone, bad if it ever comes to life in a freak accident

the unfeeling walls of a local target- 5.5/10, good aesthetic for public confessions, very red, bad for employees staring at me

spirits of the dead- 3/10, my grandma be judging me

Your Cat- 10/10, she loves you!!!! and is soft!!! the stern look is only to tell you to get your shit together, she cares

Your Dog- 10/10, also soft and loves you, your dog thinks you’re great even if you tell it you haven’t showered in a week or you can’t make that phone call

the internet- 0/10 NOOOO, DO NOT, other people are on there

a conch shell- 8/10, you can hear ocean noises respond :D, better than my cousin standing in my room and making wooshing noises

the unblinking eye of God in the corner of your room- 5/10, that bitch don’t blink, but relates to you

“then the ball hit my hand and I was all like WOOSH!!”

Hinata and Kageyama as third years, they grow up so fast *wipes tear*

I’m still not over how disjointed The Final Problem is… it’s all woosh, we’re at Mycroft’s house, woosh, 221B, woosh, and now a boat!, woosh, Sherrinford… just as the explosion faded into the ship scene with no explanation, my mum was all ‘oh, I get it now. it’s a dream’ just on the first watch… you’re meant to feel disorientated. Like a dream that doesn’t make sense but you’re still dreaming, so you just go with the flow…

my nayme is woosh
i’m very smal
i’m pretty rad
i lyke to draw
and wen i’m bored
and need to rante

i talk to cactus
i lik the plante

(I’m sorry. I had to make another bredlik poem.
Also, I know it’s not a cactus. I just didn’t think it was a good idea to lick a cactus.)