i hate the in between stage of going from short hair to long hair. I hate my hair right now and all I want to do it cut it short again so it’s not terrible looking but i want long hair again and my hair grows sooooooooo fast i just need to be patient BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE
this is my first time in months doing a tutorial, but hopefully it’ll help! i got an IM from a sweet tumblr user asking me how i made my banner/promo, so i tried to explain albeit shoddily — to make up for it, i’m posting this tutorial with screencaps. there’ll be very little in the way of text on these, as i’m hoping the photos will be self-explanatory. the materials you need to mimic this tutorial are ( here ) & if you use this tutorial to make a banner, send me an IM. i’d love to see what you all make! PS. DUE TO MY THEME, PLEASE RIGHT CLICK ON THE IMAGES AND OPEN THEM IN NEW TABS.
So I know a lot of people have cleared up the whole ‘Alec pulling away from the memory demon and breaking the bond’ thing but I just wanted to contribute something from my own life that I immediately remembered when this scene happened. (this is really just to prove how plausible this entire scenario was)
(this is also really damn long)
I went to group therapy sessions throughout the year last year and during one session we were talking about how to ‘accept things and move on so we don’t cause ourselves grief worrying about them’ - in particular accepting bigoted comments. The circle discussion came around to me and the first example I could think of was an experience I had had the previous Christmas where my family had been discussing how wrong and perverted gay people were. I was as subtle as possible about my personal investment in the issue and mentioned how it was hard to listen to them being bigoted when I had gay friends. At the end of my turn speaking I (at least I thought I had) completely slipped up and my heart stopped.
I was convinced that everyone around me was judging me or had realised my slip and knew I was ‘gay’ (I’m demi) before I was ready to say anything about it. I felt like the two second silence after I was done speaking lasted an age and like there was ice inside of me because I couldn’t breath and I couldn’t speak or move or stop staring at my shaking hands. I excluded myself from the conversation for the rest of the session and didn’t look at anyone and I kept going over and over what I’d said a hundred times. I was terrified I’d been outed to this group (most of whom were strangers except one that went to my school - which made me even more scared) but they hadn’t picked up on it or even cared - it was just my own fear and the fact that I wasn’t ready to speak up about my orientation to anyone yet.
Just two days ago I was talking to the girl from my school that just so happened to be in that same group therapy program as me and we chatted about dating and I mentioned my sexuality to her with no problem because I was ready and willing this time.
How Alec reacted was plausible, completely understandable. And no, I did not face some really scary memory demon and jeopardize my friend’s lives by pulling away but the situations reflect each other. One day Alec will be perfectly comfortable confessing to these same people how he feels but in that moment he was not and so his reaction was fear and his instincts told him to retreat.