golf with friends, more like the Art of Poetry with dan and phil:
golf with friends, more like … golf with friend. golf with the only friend.
phil: ‘do you think golfers like clash their clubs together at the start of a match?’ dan: ’let’s do it.’
‘go caddy lad, fetch me a beer,’ says phil (and can’t help thinking how this directly evokes dan in the first golf vid stating he’d only be into golf for the kink of someone cute carrying your stuff. they both have a caddy kink confirmed.)
dan: ‘i hope you’re ready for the most sophisticated series on youtube’ phil, basically interrupting him: ‘ooo, glowing balls!’
‘phil is going to swoop in with his masterful stroke,’ says phil, about himself
you get the smooth action from dan, and the jumpy action from me
phil: *moans* dan: yeah, someone’s gonna take that with no video for their youtube poop
phil: ‘yes, come on, tease it’ dan: ‘tease it? you make me so uncomfortable with your golf banter’
ah for foks seek
dan: ’motherfluffer, you nudged me there a bit’ phil: *immediately goes full northern, maybe even scottish* ‘i didn’t nudge anyone. take me to court.’
dan: ‘i’ve lost this one’ phil: ‘i’m filled with joy and elation’
dan: *is taking forever to get in the hole* phil: ‘i should ask my ball to do a little jigsaw puzzle in there cause it’s got nothing to do’
it’s a rim. pacific rim. specific rim.
absolute floppy ding dong
i’m on the edge of the rim
if you touch me, i swear to god
phil: ‘this is gonna be slow and steady’ dan: ‘wins the nothing, idiot’
‘hole six, hope you’ve had your weetabix’ ‘hole six, look out for phil’s tricks’
oh my god i’m on a mission and i’m dead i’m doomed what the hell is happening
phil: ‘i just strained my groin cause i got too into it’ dan: ’stretch before you play golf, guys’
watch this. taste this.
your mum’s narrowing
haha nudged ya ;)
that was quite sexual
you absolute twat bucket
phil: ‘it looks like we’re in the barrel of a gun. oh my god. this is crazy’ dan: ‘i am immensely shooketh’
phil: ‘that was beautiful. they’ll play that in slow motion at my funeral’ dan: ‘this was when phil peaked’ phil: ‘yeah. it literally was’
fuck what the fuck are you fucking kidding me are you actually kidding me
full whacky tubey wee woo
i’m just gonna go snuggle some mushrooms next to the hole
is this thing the barrel of doom? is this where they make all the alcohol?
full whack full whack go
i believe i can fly
boom boom shit let me hear you say shit i fucked up
math don’t fail me now! math failed me again
this is the big bounce you ready for this?
absolute full whack? oh my god, you mad lad
awwww floppy dild
mm double bogey, no presh amazingphil
oh for god’s sake, why do you hate me lord?
i’m gonna slowly just pootle along here
phil: ‘should i risk it?’ dan: ‘for a biscuit’
it’s not about the competition, it’s about spending good time with friends … and our caddy lad, derek.