Hey there, I know this is not really a question but I just wanted to share a story and wondered if anyone is in a similar situation or feels the same way. First of all I won't tell you how awesome you are cause you already know and everyone has an other opinion. So I'm ftm, nearly 20 and haven’t achieved anything so far. My parents are not supportive and every time the trans topic comes up my dad sais “you are a girl there’s nothing you can do about it”. Every time I hear this words it makes me
really angry and sad. My parents exept so much of me, I have to work at home, earn money (I’m a student),learn etc. but I can’t take it anymore I’m so tired. I have no one to talk to, no friends and no doctor. I went to several doctors but they all said that they couldn’t help me and after 4 different ones I didn’t went to anyone anymore. I’m trans over 8 years now and there is no improvement at all. I still live with my parents so I couldn’t start to take T or anything like this. I’m at this point where I ask myself “what does it matter, it won’t work anyway, why are you living anyway”. I’m depressive for as long as I can think and I guess I just gave up. I’m a kind person and always support other people but they take it for granted and never say ‘thank you’. In my eyes the world is gray and full of disappointments. Maybe there are some people who are not made for living.
Hello there Anon,
First off, thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure there are folks out there who can identify with a lot of what you’ve said. Feeling trapped as a trans person living at home with an unsupportive family is a taxing and difficult situation to be in.
I hope that on places like the Internet and perhaps in your community that you do see what a future as a trans person looks like and that you see that what you’re parents are saying is simply not correct. There are thousands of people who were assigned the wrong gender and have “done something about it”. Your parents may be unaware of that reality or not want to be aware of that reality… but either way their words hurt and I hope you have friends or supports in your life who do affirm your gender.
You mentioned you were in school… does your school have a GSA/Gender and Sexuality organization or something of the like? Perhaps there might be community resources and supports to access there. Sometimes when home isn’t supportive other places (work/school/community/friends) can provide a space away from home where you can be yourself (even if that’s only for a few hours a day or week). There may also be a LGBTQ centre in your city… often these centres have support groups that offer a chance to meet and connect with peers who may be going through similar things. There also may be free or low cost counselling options at your school or the community LGBTQ Centre.
As for doctors, this is a tricky one. On on-campus GSA/Gender and Sexuality organization might have some local docs or clinics on file that are trans-competent service providers. The LGBTQ Centre may also hold some local resource lists. Depending on where you live the trans-health environment can look very different.
It sounds like you’re taking on a lot by yourself and are reaching out for support. It’s certainly not easy to reach out. Thank you for reaching out to me, and I hope that within your home community you’ll be able to reach out to school or community supports.
You’re not alone, and who you are is valid and worthy of being seen.
note to self: yes you’ve just read another wonderful story that’s a hundred time better than anything you could ever write. That’s okay. That really is. You’re going to keep writing, you’re going to keep having fun writing, and maybe, just maybe, someone will have fun reading it too. And if that person is just you rediscovering it in ten years, that’s okay too. You’re okay. You can do this.