wonderful cannot explain it

The painting was a lie.
—  A Court of Wings and Ruin, Sarah J. Maas.
A Way To Go: Part 3

There is nothing in this world that can prepare you for waking up from what is literally a dead sleep. I’m crouching in the backseat of the Impala, literally perched like some sort of zombie bird, and staring at Sam and Dean like if I move one of them might shoot me. Honestly, I can’t say that Dean isn’t tempted, judging by the look on his face. Sam’s reaction is a cross between excitement and sheer terror, and the only thing that is keeping me from laughing is knowing that I must look like an absolute disgusting disaster. Actually, the more I think about that, the funnier this situation is becoming.

“What the hell?!” Dean speaks up first as I slide myself into a normal sitting position. Sam is still looking at me slack jawed. “You’re…you died, Y/N.”

I look down at myself and realize just how bad the damage is. My shirt is a torn and bloody mess, and if the gaping hole in it is any indication of what my body must have looked like…I can’t even think about it. I glance up in the rear-view to find blood is still smeared all over my face. That’s a real good look. “Well, Dean, you aren’t wrong there, buddy.” I sigh and lean back in the seat. If there’s nothing else to learn about this experience, it’s that coming back from the dead is exhausting. I thought dying was hard.

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I have been blessed enough to witness magnificence
As I’ve stood with trembling knees at the peaks of icing dipped mountains
And witnessed the sun whisper through clouds,
I’ve grazed my fingertips across the bottom of the ocean,
Seen creatures that most could never dream of,
I’ve traveled to different sides of the world
And seen the history documented on the walls of great monuments.

Throughout the fifteen years I’ve lived,
I have seen more wonders than most people do in a lifetime.
However, out of everything my eyes have ever known,
The only one that is truly unforgettable
Is the unique shade of light green
That exists only in your hypnotizing eyes.
Or maybe it’s the freckles randomly scattered
Like pixie dust over your cheeks and your nose,
Or perhaps even the shape of your lips,
Or the way your hair falls over your shoulders.

What I’m trying to say, my beloved,
Is that the one thing I truly can never forget,
That which I cannot find the words to explain,
Is, undoubtedly,

—  Wonders of the World // g.e & m.b

Guys…. Yesterday I lashed out a tiny bit and my ask box was getting heavy and I was so afraid to even open it. So I asked my friend to take a look at the messages for me and she told me it was safe to look because pretty much every single message and comment of all those dozens that I received yesterday were the most heartwarming. So I went ahead and read them all and broke down weeping uncontrollably because you are all so so so sweet and wonderful and kind, I cannot even explain it… thank you so much with all my heart for being so understanding and supportive. Whenever I feel like I’m getting overwhelmed or begin feeling pressured, you help me remember how amazing it is to be part of this community, and my gratefulness is not only brought back to the surface but also multiplies a million times. Really. I’m just some random sad nerd who fell in love with a fictional world and wants to recreate it out of my imagination, and you are here being with me and loving it. Thank you so so so SOOOoooosnsdsfehgu much. Really. Truly. Love you all, even if you don’t really care that much, I still love you and am grateful for you. You don’t have to be here, but you are, and you appreciate whatever I manage to give. Thank you ❤

P.S. I’ll try to respond to the off-anon messages as soon as I have time!!

Today was SO HAPPY I cannot even begin to explain it! Absolutely wonderful! I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND CONFETTI AND BEADS AND GLITTER AND SPRING FLOWERS AND LIGHT COLORS AND THE EARTH, I LOVE THE EARTH! Happieness has hit me and I am filled with glee!
Instagram: @yikeos 😘😘

Adventures in French Fashion:

          For those of you who have ever been to Paris you will understand my predicament. I laboured over packing my suitcase for four whole days. There were 10 sets of daytime outfits and 10 sets of night outfits, carefully picked, and intensely scrutinized. For once in my life I would not travel to Paris only to feel like a squashed eggplant in comparison to the glamazon next to me. I had finally cracked the system. But alas, French style is not one to be so easily overcome by an overenthusiastic Indian girl and her collection of Vogues. Instead of feeling under-dressed I felt overdressed. Like a little kid trying far too hard in a game of dress up. I had forgotten that the key word in French style is “degage”. Here is what I learned:

  1. The French woman should never look like she’s put too much effort into her appearance. It would take away from her time riding around town on her lover’s Vespa, or from planning a picnic by the Seine. 
  2. The French woman should never look too bourgeois. There is a strong distaste (among people 40 and under) to look obviously wealthy. Stores like The Kooples or Zadig and Voltaire sell clothes that look scruffy and undone sometimes for the price of something from Oscar de la Renta. 
  3. The French woman should never look “preppy”. A moment of silence for polo’s everywhere.
  4. The French Woman should always look slightly undone. Here is I think the biggest source of wisdom that I have discovered. Two years ago while doing a summer program in New York I noticed a stark difference between the American girls and the French girls when we would go out. The American girls took nearly 2 hours to curl their hair, hairspray it into place, fully conceal and contour their face, and liberally apply layers of makeup with an end result of looking flawless. The French girls on the other hand always looked slightly messy, either their hair was out of place or their makeup was reserved to solely eyeliner and lipstick. They looked more human, and therefore more glamorous.
  5. The French woman sticks to subdued sophisticated colors. Essentially the French woman is the antithesis of Anna Dello Russo and would be caught dead wearing a cherry as a hat.
  6. Everything must be worn with a healthy splash of joie de vivre and a certain je ne sais quoi that makes clothing look like the least interesting aspect of your obviously fascinating life

While it is obvious that French women have an innate sense of style that can only be described as “cool” (yes what a wonderful use of the English language), I cannot explain the relief my friend and I felt as we walked into the Ralph Lauren on Rue Cambon. Ralph Lauren is easy feel-good-fashion so to speak but above that, it’s expensive clothing that looks luxurious. I for one, love walking down the street and seeing someone who has obviously put effort into their appearance and obviously loves fashion. It’s a strange balance to strike between not looking like a little girl playing dress up and being able to have fun with what you wear. I suppose as someone who’s spent many years living in India, the mantra of “more is more” and the philosophy of glamcore will always have a soft spot in my heart. That being said, I’m a sucker for men’s tailoring and half of my wardrobe consists of blazers and collared shirts. 

French It girl Lou Doillon vs American It girl Olivia Palermo

Editor in Chief of French Vogue Emmanuele Alt vs Anna Wintour

What do you think?

Dear Phil,

I have been watching you for roughly three years, and I cannot even explain the wonderful impact you have had on my life. Thank you for being the sunshine in my life, and making me realize that is alright to follow my dreams, even if it means I have to change a few things in my life. I aspire to have a friendship like yours with Dan one day! Thanks for #10yearsofamazingphil and congrats on all of your amazing accomplishments. 


Okay, so, seeing all this kind of breaks my heart since I love Troye Sivan ((I still do, he’s my bb)) and I also love their fandom, and I really know how fanatic they all are but the things they have said apart from the pictures I have put above are disrespectful, dumb and rude.
I had never even thought this would ever happen but I don’t think neither I nor you should be mad/or upset over this situation. Be the bigger person and try to let it go. You dedicated your time to vote for them and we ended up so close to winning, which is literally impressive.

I’m so, so proud of every single one of you.

I’m not blaming the whole Troye fandom, y'all are cuties, but to the small group that has said shit: I just simply want to say that if we’d say that kind of stuff to Troye y'all would track down our houses and kill us. So put yourself in our situation before you insult our idols. I know that not all of you have done things like this, I know it’s just a certain group but it is still extremely offending y'know.

“Who even are they?”
“What have they done?”
“Self-promotion is weak.”
“They don’t even deserve it.”

1. The fact that you don’t know who they are should already explain that you don’t have the right to hate.

2. They put a smile on our faces. They care about us, our well-being and our opinion. They have saved lives, they have put friends together, they made us feel like a part of something, honestly, what didn’t they do is the actual question here. I literally cannot begin to explain how wonderful they are.

3. No, self-promotion isn’t weak. What the actual hell? There ain’t no section in the rules saying “you can’t promote yourself,” or anything els. They care about their nomination and that is perfectly normal, they have done nothing wrong?? Why aren’t you taking the prickly toy out of your ass, you freaking won even after saying heartbreaking stuff???

4. Don’t you dare to say that they don’t deserve it. I could give you a million reasons as to why they do, but honestly, you don’t deserve my time.

Moral of the story: guys, it’s impressive how far we have come and Both Superfruit and I are proud of you.

Sorry for ranting.

“ On Saturday January 18th my mother Carolyn passed away unexpectedly. To me she was my hero, my biggest musical influence, but also a wonderful and caring mom. I cannot explain the emotions that I’m feeling as I’ve never felt this before. She was far too young to be gone this early. All I can wish for is that she is at peace and in no pain, and gets to be with her parents again. I wear her name proudly on my chest. I love you mom. ” - @JakePittsBVB

I’m so sorry for your loss Jake. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Rest In Peace Carolyn

Nothing hurts more then falling in love and then its taken away. Either by wrong timing, there is a lot going on in a persons life, or a person needing time to get things done. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are in the way or you caused anything. Even though it hurts so much to have to take a break or break up , doesnt mean that you cant hope that what is meant to be will find its way.

As for me Last year I fell in love with the most amazing young women in my young adult life. I can say that for the past year and then dating for 10 months I was fascinated by her smile, her laugh, the joy in her eyes every time we were together. I can say that I met the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Why I say that. It is because I felt the connection before asking her to be my girlfriend. My first girlfriend. I felt that connection to where she will be my person. And although right now is not a good timing for her. I will wait for her. 

People will say why wait , dont wait on someone, you never know what will happen. For me I feel it. I may be wrong, or may be not. I have met friends and have new people to meet along the way. But My heart is taken. My body is on hold for someone that I truly deeply fell in love with. You might think I am bizarre or insane. But I feel it and cannot explain how amazing and wonderful everything is with her. She has captured my heart, and my soul. I am grateful to have love her as much as I could when I was with her. Things happen. Things change.

I will wait. I love you Nakia. Always and Forever. 6.22.13

If you want to follow her or myself - feel free to 

http://princesspebbles.tumblr.com/  – Her

http://crystalchanelxx.tumblr.com/ – Myself