wonder wagon

so many lorax 2012 (mainly about onceler) questions

how much guitar playing did the onceler do in that lurkim tower of his?

Does he even have teeth? where does he get his water from? If it’s all schloppity schlop, how can he brush his teeth?

making those animals eat marshmellows are weird once you know what gelatin is made out of (copy and pasted from wikipedia “Gelatin is derived from pork skins, pork, and cattle bones, or split cattle hides.“)

melvin, where did you go?

wait, how does the onceler even shower in that lurkim?

how does he even breathe out there?

what lives did onceler’s family live after they dumped him?

what kind of a name is “onceler”?

how did onceler fit all of that stuff into his wagon?

i wonder if the lorax story will get remade again far in the future. i’d totally watch an extended version of this movie (mainly having “how bad can I be” events being put into more detail). seeing some of the cut-songs being fully animated would be cool (though the remake will probably be made by a different studio, so probably not happening)

how long does a thneed last for? does anyone in thneedville still have a thneed?

if the onceler is so tall, is most of the papparazzi photos of him from unflattering angles?

how many photoshoots did that dude do?

did he still sing and dance when he was famous?

how many people knew about o’hare’s blatant creepy cameras everywhere?

if the onceler wasn’t successful, would he just lived in that forest forever, or would he move on to another crazy idea of his?

how did thneedville become surprisingly self-sufficent? I don’t know if they have any plane-runways (especially since there is so much smog, it’s not gonna be easy to fly there) or if anyone drives to there, so is everything in thneedville produced in thneedville?

why are there no guardrails on the stairs in once-ler buildings?

if the once-ler is so good at building stuff, to what extent did he try to reverse the mess he made?

how did the onceler lack the forsight of planting more trees? what happened?

why does he need a grandfather snail? does he eat them?

how old is a lorax really? is he really “as old as time itself”? what did he do while he was up in the sky?

did as many people fawn over the once-ler in universe as many people did in real life?

where did all the animals go while waiting for the forest to become good again?

who decided the once-ler could wear those tacky sunglasses that looked like they’re from a $2 shop? because whoever decided that, i love that decision, and I want those tacky glasses too.

if onceler upgraded from a single-neck guitar to a double-necked guitar, does that mean he had been improving his guitar playing skills?

does audrey become a famous artist? her mural was cooool!

how douchey/amusing (take your pick!) would it have been if the whole ted-redemption thing with the lorax coming back turned out to be a dream sequence from the onceler as he stares out from his lurkim onto the desolate field?

how much of the onceler’s crap did melvin have to put up with?

does the onceler ever take swimming lessons and learn how to swim?

have i mentioned how weird the onceler’s name is? I’ve been referring to him with a “the” so many times, as if a “onceler” is a common noun.

what began the onceler’s tendency to avoid being responsible for problems? as in, he tries to blame pipsqueak for the tree falling down, and when the last tree fell down, he said to the animals approaching “look, i don’t want any trouble”?

What are the lawyers denying?

what was the onceler-family dynamic before and after he left? did they like his guitar playing? what’s up with that rusty car? we all see that the onceler is a very singy and dancey person out in the forest, but was he like that at home?

how did he convince melvin to cross a desert? did he have any idea of which direction he should be heading at all, or was he just going all over the place?

are the animals in the truffula forest undiscovered species? does that mean the onceler invented the names for them in that cut song?

“yes, right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story and was never heard from again”. Uhhhhhhh… exactly what could’ve happened!?

can you kill a lorax? what does a cooked lorax taste like?

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It’s the sweater, isn’t it? Chicks can’t resist argyle…

there’s a 99.9% chance that TFP Optimus’s hips will be my cause of death