Rise up, laidies. Men, rise with us too.
I have this very close friend who believes feminism is useless. He thinks that women’s suffering has ended with the new millennium, and the rest is just nit picky issues we’ve created to keep the spot light on women. He thinks that by advocating for feminism and feminists, we set ourselves apart, rather than make ourselves equal to men. He thinks that feminism should transform to humanism. To him, woman have their rights and should be satasfied.
Well now. How do I even begin? I suppose he wil never understand what’s like to walk around this earth, gazing up at the 50ft billboards with VS models dangling society’s idea of beauty above our minds. I suppose he’s never felt the fear of walking home late at night, remembering the horror stories your mother and friends warned you about, or the echoing speech of a young rape victim and the way her eyes screamed “never again, never again.”
And how about the fact that I would give the rest of my life if only I could live one more day as a child, where the fact that I had a vagina had no weight on the acceptance I had for myself. I long for that day, one day where my every physical or intellectual fault wasn’t discussed or even considered as a factor to my self worth.
I suppose he doesn’t understand that my college professor saved my life when she gave her lecture on feminism- I had lived eighteen years, accepting my fucking role as a woman of superficial happiness, and I NEVER FUCKING KNEW how bad it was, what I was allowing people to do to me, how painful my life, my mother’s life, and my grandmother’s life had been. I had been so fucking blind to the sexism of this world until I finally accused myself of letting it happen.
And then I made myself sick thinking of the possibility that he might one day have a daughter. But then I got even sicker realizing the danger of him having a son.
Kurt Cobain once talked about how, instead of teaching women self defense, we should teach men not to rape. And who can argue with that logic? I don’t think my friend considers what Cobain was proposing. So, what if society realized the real murder of female identity? Maybe my friend would see how heart breaking it is for me to hear that our battle is over with, because we (men and women) have worked so. Damn. Hard. to get where we are now. How could we ever stop now? I don’t think it’s possible to undestand this kind of wrong fully, by any person, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be hopeful that this pain will one day cease. But we can’t stop. We can’t do this to ourselves again.
Stay strong and reamain as aware as you are hopeful. And do not fear what stands ahead of us. One day, we will be able to call ourselves humanists.