women...i swear


  Jon and his love of strong women, I swear! I think the speaking in Dothraki would really do him in. If he can’t understand the words, he’s got more attention to pay to…ahem…many other things. Luckily for him, khalasars are very large, and so are their camps, so if he subtly dismissed the guards, surely no one would notice if he made a place for himself in her tent for a night or two…or three

Men are so fuckin weak dude I swear. Women are out there grindin like nothing’s wrong while bleeding out of their vaginas 7 days a month, cramps so bad we can barely function, pushing a human out of our hoohas, taking pills that fuck with our horomones just so you can hit it raw and you have the damn nerve to judge the size of our hips that have birthed the civilizations of the world like they were made to be admired by you? No. Next time you get flicked in the balls I don’t wanna hear u talk about how it’s so much harder being a man. Damn. Shout out to women. Don’t let men tell you shit.

Mischievous Scamander Men

Newt Scamander x Reader

Warnings: none

Author’s Note: I have just recently gotten obsessed with Fantastic Beasts, especially Newt. But, I really like this one and I hope you do too


You put your hat over your hair before turning to your 4 year old son and kneeling to be eye to eye with him. “Alright, do you remember mommy’s rules for going into the case with daddy?” You ask him, eyebrow raised. The boy smiles widely, revealing his missing front teeth, “Uh huh! Ask daddy before going anywhere, be nice to all the creatures, and don’t pet no occamys.”

Smiling at your son, you kiss his forehead and stand up to talk to Newt. Looking for any way to calm your nerves, you begin readjusting his clothes, smoothing his hair here, straightening his bow tie there, “Now, Newt, please remember, don’t let him near the erumpet musk, he thinks the reaction way too funny and will not hesitate to douse himself with it. Oh, and please call me if you need anything. And he’s just getting over than awful cold, remember, so if he gets tired and whiny, just call me. And-”

Newt grabs your busy hands in his, ceasing your movement, “Darling,” He says softly, with a chuckle, causing your eyes to meet his, “We will be fine. I’ve made my living as a caretaker. Everything will be fine.” You smile nervously, “I know, I’m just nervous. My first day at a no-maj job! I’m just - I’m just a bit nervous is all.” Your husband rolls his eyes at you playfully, “You women and your nerves. I swear, you are the one beast I will never be able to truly decipher.” He says pulling you across your front room to the door.

Before leaving, you place a kiss to his lips, “You underestimate yourself, Mr. Scamander. Now please, promise me you’ll call if you need anything?” Kissing you once more, Newt gently pushes you out of the door, “I promise, but it won’t be necessary. Don’t be late now.” You smile nervously again and wave to your son, “Bye, honey. Mommy will be back soon, okay? Have fun with daddy!” Your son giggles in excitement at the reminder of going into the case for the first time, “Bye momma! Have a good job!”

Once you’ve driven out of sight, Newt closes the door and picks up your son, “Alright, here we go. Now it’s just me and you. Are you ready to see our creatures?” The boy cheers, his fists both in the air, “Yay!” Chuckling at his reaction, Newt carries him down into the briefcase, placing his feet on the ground once they’re fully submerged in the case. Guiding the young boy to the door by his hand, Newt holds his free hand on the door, “You want to give me a hand with the door? We can open it together.”

The boy places his small hand on the door, “One, two, three!” He counts down before pushing as hard as he can. As soon as the door swings open, his jaw drops, “Daddy, look at all uh our creatures!” He says excitedly, holding his father’s hand with both of his. Newt smiles at your son’s enthusiasm and lifts the boy into his arms once more so he doesn’t get too far gone on his first exploration of the world inside the case.

“Would you like to play with the mooncalves while I go and get the food for the rest of the creatures? Then we can feed them together. How about that?” Newt asks your son, moving towards the area before even getting an answer, knowing the boy’s eyes will grow in wonder and awe as soon as he sees the shy creatures anyway. Your son giggles in excitement as soon as he hears anything about being able to play with some of the creatures by himself.

Walking over to the dark area, Newt sets your son down, the mooncalves all stepping out to inspect the new addition to their habitat. Smiling as he watched your boy - quite small for his age, the two of you are always worried - Newt felt free to go grab the feed with your son squealing and running around with the sweet creatures.

Taking off his bow tie and rolling up his shirt sleeves, Newt got to business chopping up meat and putting feed into their respective buckets. Newt was so busy that he didn’t even notice your son in the office-like area, playing with the erumpet musk. He heard you say that he wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near it, but he couldn’t help himself. Muffling his giggles, the boy spills as much of the formula on himself as he can without the erumpet leaving it’s habitat and following the scent to his father’s work space.

As soon as the mischievous boy makes his way to the dry area, you feel it in your chest. You don’t feel what’s happening precisely, but you just get this fuzzy feeling in your stomach. You want nothing more than to be able to disapparate and get home to your baby and your husband, but Newt said he’d call if he needed you and you’re in the middle of a conversation with your boss. Taking a deep breath, you imagine Newt beside you, keeping you calm and telling you everything is okay and the feeling in your stomach lessens.

Meanwhile, Newt’s eyes are about to bulge out of his head when he gets back to the mooncalves and sees your son nowhere to be found. Newt doesn’t want to bother you on your first day at the job, and he hasn’t even looked around yet, so he takes a deep breath and imagines you smiling while kissing his lightly and telling him everything is just fine.

As his heartbeat slows, Newt recognizes the cheering of the erumpet. “Oh dear,” He says to himself when he sees the beast and his son playing a terrifying game of tag. “Your mother is going to kill me!” Newt says as he dashes past the squealing creature and towards his son. As soon as he comes into contact with the young boy, they disapparate, landing back in the mooncalf habitat.

Newt runs his hands over your sons arms, “You didn’t hurt yourself climbing to get that musk did you?” The boy - smiling widely as his heart pounds from the running - shakes his head. “I like that one daddy! I think she liked me too.” Seeing that your son is alright, Newt chuckles, what he doesn’t notice is that you’ve apparated into the case and have your eye on both of the mischievous Scamander men. “Yes, well, you made sure of that didn’t you?” Newt says, laughing a little harder at your sons disheveled appearance.

“Now, even though we’ve had fun with the erumpet, you can’t tell your mother about it. She would be very upset.” Your husband says, his face serious. Walking up to the two, your jaw drops, “Why you sneaky little devil, you!” Newt startles a little as he turns to find you, eyebrows raised in disbelief. Feigning innocence, Newt smiles widely, “Hello my love, what are you doing home so early?” Shaking your head fondly, you plant a kiss onto Newt’s lips before lifting your son and kissing his dirt covered face, “You don’t fool me Mr. Scamander. Not either one of you.”

Knowing he’s been caught, Newt smiles sheepishly, “It could never hurt to try, I suppose.” He says, your son laughing and kissing your cheek.

anonymous asked:

I remember when I used to work at a women's plus sized store, I would get so pissed off at the women who were all "I swear MEN invented bras just to hurt us." because they a) refused to try anything near their measurement and b) didn't wear them properly (adjusting them as tight as possible) I looked it up. The satisfaction of their faces when I told them that they were actually a woman's invention & why they were made was priceless. Also didn't get in trouble for it because product knowledge.

Underwires are the devil no matter who made them. lol Not sure if a better fit would fix the whole armpit assault issue with those or not. -Abby

Little Things About the Bandstand OBCR that I Love

•The imagery you get during Just Like It Was Before
•whenever Corey sings “Cream rises” because 😍
•Whenever Corey sings tbh
•"he’s so flat, uh"
•the little nod to In The Mood
• Freaking Laura Osnes man. Everything she touches turns to gold I swear.
• Julia’s mother is the greatest women alive. I swear 10/10 mother.
• “She doesn’t remember the bridge!”
•"Then I’m breaking the rule Wayne!“
•Literally the entirety of Right This Way
•Literally the entirety of Nobody
•The whole band is hilarious and I love them all
•the whole conversation with Oliver during I Got A Theory
•"How do you do that?” “I have no idea”
•Again, 10/10 mom. Just. 👌. Beth Leavel is just amazing.
•Welcome Home gives me chills every time
•"and the cabs are a menace, could have used one on a German"
•This Is Life is my favorite. It just is okay. Like love it. I love it so much okay. It’s pretty and I love all the senarios and I just love it a lot.
•The Finale makes me cry. Bye.
•That girl in the Epilogue is me meeting Corey Cott. I apologized like twelve times.
•"it is them! It’s the Donny Nova Band!!“ “OH NO”
“I love the way Laura says “Philidelphia you do show love for your brothers!”
•Corey’s southern accent was cute too
•The whole thing?
•the way some songs just seamlessly blend into one another. It’s beautiful.
•the fact you can get most of the story just from the OBCR b/c I’m tired of being confused.

•All the motifs from song to song!

That’s all I got right now. I’ll add more later, or feel free to add some of your own!

anonymous asked:

Chyler's improv, part two: "why are you touching my hair chy?" "Improv Flo." "We aren't filming, we aren't even on set Chyler we're in Olive Garden!" "IMPROV" "...why are you like this"


anonymous asked:

Since a young age I've valued romance very much, but I lack sexual feelings towards my sex (not to mention physical danger of that in my country), and the opposite sex are unfeeling uncaring horrible and will screw me over at the earliest opportunity. I know you do not regard death as something innately negative: should I just kill myself already?

Let me guess: whenever you bring this up to other people, they look shocked and say “What? The opposite sex isn’t unfeeling / uncaring / horrible / likely to screw you over! How did you come to believe such terrible things?” and then you dismiss them as corrupted by society and regurgitating platitudes.

(the exact way this conversation goes depends on your gender, but either way, I’m sure it happens)

I don’t think either one of you is wrong. My own experience as a guy is that I both know mostly really good, honest, caring, honorable guys, and that I’ve dated mostly really good, honest, caring, honorable women (and XX nonbinaries). I swear that I’m not just failing to think this through or trying to regurgitate platitudes. On the other hand, I do know people who have really and truly had the opposite experience.

So the question is - why do different people have such different experiences?

My guess is that you’re doing one of the following:

1. Biasedly interpreting social cues from opposite-sex people in a hostile way.

2. Inadvertently exhibiting behavior that causes opposite-sex people to react in a hostile way.

3. Selecting for only the worst members of the opposite sex.

I know people of both sexes for whom each of these three is true. In particular, number 3 is a big deal. There are some people, male and female, who seem to have some kind of compulsion to seek out terrible people to date. They don’t realize this. They don’t want this. But they unfailing spot the worst person in the bar and end up in a relationship with them.

If I were you, I would try some experiments to figure out which of these three is true. For example, if you have a same-sex friend who also knows the opposite-sex people who have betrayed/hurt you, etc, ask if that same-sex friend agrees the opposite-sex person has been a bad person in their interactions with them. If no, that’s some evidence for 1 or 2; if yes, that’s some evidence for 3.

If you have a same-sex friend who always has good experiences with the opposite sex, ask them to set you up on a date with the sort of person they would like. If you don’t find them sexy at all, ignore that feeling and keep going. See if this person is also terrible and wants to hurt you. If not, consider the possibility that you only find terrible/hurtful people sexy and unintentionally seek them out.

Also, it sounds like you’re in some country where homosexuality isn’t tolerated. It also sounds like you’ve absorbed a lot of Western norms (cf. being on Tumblr, reading my blog). Are you sure that your differences with your country’s people aren’t just cultural? Have you tried dating Westerners? Is it better?

If none of that works, there are lots of fun things in life other than sex - like drugs, and rock n’ roll. I still think it would be a shame to kill yourself over this problem.

Steve’s little Sister

You are Steve Roger’s little sister. You grew up with him and Bucky in Brooklyn but after both their deaths in the war you were left alone. Skip forward seventy years and with the help of SHIELD you survived and are now reunited with your brother and best friend. The Avengers, however, don’t know you exist until one day Steve introduces you and things in the tower become very interesting. (eventual BuckyxReader) (post CACW)

This fic uses the assumed knowledge that you guys know that the reader is Steve’s little sister 


Warnings: nothing I think, gosh that’s disappointing

Word Count: 1169

Title: Steve’s little Sister (part 1)

Note: so I finally got round to writing this, I’m so happy with how this has started and I have several parts planned out. Please let me know what you think, thanks for reading!!

Steve’s little Sister Masterlist

Part 2

As quietly as you could you pulled the spare key out from under a discarded brick and opened the door to Bucky’s apartment, hoping that Steve was right in saying Bucky was out. Just in case you quietly crept up the stairs as you cursed yourself for ever listening to Steve. When he said jokingly over lunch that you should borrow a dress from Bucky’s apartment for Stark’s party tonight, you thought it’d be a good idea, but now you were greatly regretting ever listening to your older brother. You took a deep breath before you rounded the corner and entered the living room but immediately stopped in your tracks.

Bucky had a girl pinned to the wall and was furiously making out with her. She was only in her lacy black underwear and Bucky was shirtless. You held back a groan and continued to creep quietly to the spare room. Ever since he came back to the compound Bucky had slowly started to come back to who you knew him as back before the war. His nightmares still plagued him but he very quickly regained his womanising ways. It helped him cope with everything and you knew, that but still, seeing him like that it still hurt.

You were going to give Steve hell for this, he knew how much you liked Bucky. How much you had always liked Bucky and yet he had stupidly convinced you to borrow a dress from Bucky’s closet. The dresses weren’t his, of course, they were the many gifts from Bucky’s one night stands. Girls who hoped that by leaving their clothes with Bucky they might see him again. That never happened but you couldn’t blame them for hoping.

So distracted by your thoughts you stubbed your toe on the door frame and let out a curse. Immediately Bucky pulled back from the blonde, a look of shock on both their faces. Panicked, you sprinted into the room and closed the door behind you. A few deep breaths later you cringed and opened the door back up to see them both still staring at you.

“Who are you?” the blonde asked breathlessly, her voice high and nasally. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes when you realised that she thought you were some ex-lover or something. You wished.

“Hi, don’t mind me. I’m just, uh… I’m… Bucky’s sister.” you make up suddenly, trying to make things a bit easier, “I just stopped by to pick up some stuff. Please don’t mind me, just pretend I’m not here and, yeah.” You winced at your own words, knowing how stupid they sounded. The chick didn’t seem to care though because the moment you said sister she was contented and back at Bucky’s neck, kissing and sucking and making all kinds of noises that you did not want to hear. Bucky however was still staring at you a mixed look of horror and guilt on his face. You mouthed to him sorry and sneaked back into the spare room.

Still red faced you opened the wardrobe only to feel even more deflated. The cupboard was filled to the brim with clothes so much so that when you opened it, half of them fell out. In there were bras, panties, dresses that you consider more like tops and even a whole heap of shoes. Although it hurt to know how many women Bucky had been with, more than you realised, but you had to admit Steve was right. You had ample to choose from.

Quickly however, you realised that you didn’t and Steve was dead wrong. Yeah there was a lot of stuff in there but none of it was your style. You were used to knee length dresses and long sleeves. In your opinion, showing any thigh was highly provocative. You liked to dress modestly, even in these times, but it seems that the women Bucky was picking up were leaving nothing to the imagination when it came to their clothes. You realised that you were spending far too long in there and knew through stories that Bucky doesn’t let women into his bedroom so you were currently standing in the room he wanted to be in.

You quickly grabbed a black dress and some heels before making your exit. Bucky and the blonde were still where you left them, making out. You could tell that Bucky was distant because his eyes were open. You cringed again trying to throw him an apologetic look. Bucky pulled back from the blonde and she moved to his neck, not caring that you were there. You held up the clothes you were holding in a silent question and Bucky nodded in answer. You smiled at him and gestured towards the door. You moved towards the door unable to take your eyes off Bucky. He threw you his signature smile that melted your heart. He mouthed I’ll see you tonight as you left, never taking his eyes off you. Only once you were out the door and had closed it behind you did Bucky turn back to the blonde at his neck.

You left the apartment block as red as a beetroot and were met by the waiting Steve. He was leaning casually on his motorbike with his leather jacket unzipped just watching people go about their daily lives. He perked up at your arrival but visibly winced as he saw the death stare you were giving him.

“So he wasn’t out, huh?” questioned Steve who refused you meet your eyes.

“No he wasn’t,” you answered shoving your brother in the chest, “and he wasn’t alone either.”

Steve winced at this and you could feel your resolve melting. Steve knew how worried you were for the party that night and was just trying to be a helpful big brother. You sighed and placed a hand on Steve’s forearm. He visibly relaxed at the gesture, it was something you used to do when you were kids back in the forties. Some habits die hard.

“That’s all that was in there then?” asked Steve, who pointed at the dress you were holding.

“It’s the only decent thing yeah. Not that it’s decent. I swear women these days. I just grabbed it so the blonde would believe my ruse.” You turned and threw the dress in the garbage can along with the shoes. Steve raised an eyebrow at you. “I told her I was Bucky’s sister.” you added with a blush.

Now both of Steve’s eyebrows were raised and your blush increased. “So now you’re mine and Bucky’s sister. That’ll be interesting.” mused Steve.

You scoffed at that, “he’ll be done with her by dusk and he’ll have another dame on his arm at the party.”

Steve sighed and looked at you sadly, “It was always his way, wasn’t it?” he asked, knowing the pain you were feeling. “Come on little sis,” he said as he mounted his bike and patted the seat behind him, “we’ve got a party to get to.”

anonymous asked:

Do you think the misogynistic "Natural" claim from men, specifically black men is mostly aimed at black women? Because I swear niggas still gettin with white & non-black women with full beat faces and Dr. Miami bodies. It ain't a day that go by that these dudes ain't drooling over some made up "foreign" with surgery. But when Kendrick said that line in Humble niggas was like " (black)Ig models, black women take note". Like why we get a different set of rules?

Of course it is.

anonymous asked:

holy shit stop acting like you speak for all woc

Receipts? Where have I ever suggested my ideas are The Women of Color Doctrine?

I swear to God, women can’t speak without someone accusing us of “speaking over” someone. Just admit you don’t want us to fucking talk.

We’re good to Each other

Sorry this took a while, was thinking hard on a story with this prompt. As always, enjoy!


Ever since Sylvie and Antonio started dating, she was happy. More happy than she ever been in her life. He was different from all her other boyfriends.

Unfortunately with that happiness and only caring about spending time with him, she started gaining relationship weight. Before Antonio, she thought it was a myth and because she never gained any weight from previous relationships, she thought if it was true, she just didn’t gain weight.

As much as she wanted to blame Antonio, she couldn’t. She supposed after a few months together, and also dealing with his insane ex-wife, it was her fault. She even skipped Zumba classes so she could spend time with Antonio.

She even decided going on a diet right now was best since she could go back to Zumba classes, could go to the gym every chance she gets, but if she continued eating the junk she was consuming lately, it would be a wasted effort.

It was her day off and it was the first day of her new diet and exercise plan, and her alarm went off at 6 am. As she reached over and turned it off, Antonio groaned.

“Babe, it feels so early. Why is your alarm going off on our day off?” He questioned as he tried to adjust to the light that was coming into their room. Luckily at 6 am, the light wasn’t too bright but they both knew in a few minutes, it would be getting brighter.

“I told you Antonio, today starts my new diet and exercise. I plan on doing some cardio and then later I have a Zumba class. Trust me, in a few weeks, the woman you found desirable will be back.”

He turned his head to looked at her. “What are you talking about? I still find you desirable. If I didn’t, how come we’re still making love?” He asked. “Women I swear. You gain one pound and you’re acting like it’s the end of the world.”

“Actually it was 10 pounds. At this rate, soon you are going to come home and find that I gained 300 pounds and can’t get off the couch.” She complained as she climbed out of the bed.

He sighed heavily. “Do you know how much junk food you have to consume for that to happen? Not just junk food, but take out food, and your job keeps you in shape.” He pointed out.

“I’m not you, Antonio. I don’t run after people.” Truthfully, her biggest fear was that she was going to gain so much weight that Antonio was going to start looking at other women. Maybe it wasn’t in his nature to do that, but she wasn’t about to find out.

“Look, I’m all for you to wanting to stay in shape, to stay healthy. Key word here is stay because you’re already healthy, but we don’t have many days off together and I truly just want to hold you in my arms right now while we sleep.”

“You can go back to sleep, babe. But I’m running.” She said in a firm tone to let him know that she was serious. She wasn’t trying to sound like a horrible person complaining about gaining weight, but she also didn’t want to not do anything. Besides, if she were being honest, she missed Zumba class. It was the only connection she had here that reminded her of her times in Indiana. She loved Chicago now and absolutely loved her life here, but sometimes she still felt home sick. And taking Zumba classes helped her.

After she was done changing into a pair of running shorts and a tank top, she walked over to Antonio. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Antonio opened his eyes and looked at her appearance. “You know what? I’ll come with you. I had plenty of cases where a woman got assaulted for running alone.”

Sylvie smirked but she nodded her head. “Okay. I’ll wait for you in the living room.” She said as she walked out of the room and headed into the living room.

A few minutes later, she heard the bedroom door opening and turned her head to look at him. “I’m just going to pretend to believe you’re coming with me to protect me from creeps other than protecting me from guys staring at me.”

“I can’t believe you got me up early on my day off to go running when you’re in wonderful shape. And especially because you could always work out at my gym later.” He reminded her.

“Oh trust me, I would, but I don’t need you to watch my every move while I’m working out. Running together is fine, but I’m going to my Zumba class later by myself.”

“Fine.” He shrugged his shoulders.

An hour later, they both walked back into the apartment, sweaty but otherwise in more energy than earlier.

“I forgot how much fun it is running.” He said. “But unlike you, I’m not on a diet so I’m going to make myself breakfast.”

“Hey. That’s not fair.” She pouted. “You’re not supporting me.”

“Are you kidding me?” He asked with a chuckle. “I went running with you, how much more supportive can I get?”

“You can go on a diet with me.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Absolutely not. Who knows what your diet entails of. I mean, look at your protein shake.” He said as his eyes glanced at the drink in her hand.

Sylvie was worried that she wouldn’t make the protein shake as good as someone who had practice so she stopped to pick one up. She figured a place called a Health Foods and Juice bar would be better.

“Hey, it’s um—different. I already feel my stomach flattening.” She said, defensively.

“Sure, sure.” He said, patronizing her. “Maybe if you already feel it working, you don’t need to run, just drink that for the next few days.”

“Such an ass.” She laughed. 

“But excuse me, I’m going to cook a real breakfast.”

If he truly felt like Sylvie needed to lose a few pounds, he certainly would have supported her more. But she was fine, at least in his eyes, she was fine.

After he made his breakfast, eggs, bacon and sausage, he sat down at the kitchen table.

He looked up as Sylvie entered the kitchen. “I hope you choke on your food.”

“Baby, stop. I think you’re being ridiculous now. It’s good to exercise, but going on a diet because of 10 pounds, it’s nuts. It’ll be different if I can notice the weight you gained, but I can’t. And besides, you act like I didn’t gain weight in this relationship.”

“You didn’t. You still look as great as you did when you helped me in the ambulance. If anything, you look better.” She shook her head. “Besides, women always gets treated unfairly when they gain weight.” She pointed out.

“I know, remember I have a sister and growing up, she always wanted us to go on a special diet because she was getting treated unfairly. But like I told Gabby at age 15, and I’ll tell you now, anyone calls you fat and I’ll beat them up.” He said as he grinned at her. “Besides, the only person opinion that should matter is mine.”

Sylvie nodded her head as she glanced down at his food.

“You know you want it, sweetheart.” He said as he caught her eye staring at his food. “I made extra just in case you wanted some. So come in, give in.”

Sylvie bit down on her bottom lip, contemplating but then she nodded her head. “Fine. But promise me if I ever gain too much weight, you’ll still love me.”

“Of course.” He promised her as he stood up. “Sit down and let me grab your plate.”

Sylvie smiled and she nodded her head. “You’re too good to me.” She remarked as she took a seat across from her.

“We’re good to each other. I think that’s why our relationship works and why it’s so strong.” He said and a few minutes later ,he placed her food down in front of her.

“If you didn’t know yet, you’re my favorite.” She grinned as she picked up her fork and started eating.

Antonio grinned and he nodded his head as he took his seat again. “And you’re my favorite. Always.”

Ok, but guys: Haikyuu Space Pirate AU

Shouldn’t this be a thing?

The year is whatever and humanity has finally mastered space travel. So obviously several nations are racing each other to colonize all the inhabitable planets they can reach and harvest as many resources as possible. On the outer rim of the known galaxy, it’s a complete free-for-all: piracy and smuggling are rife, not to mention the weaker colonies are being robbed of workers, who end up in slavery for large corporation and rogue states. Several factions try to make their way in this chaotic place.

The Aoba

Privateer Schooner Class space ship and jewel in the crown of Seijoh, one of the larger nations vying for dominance in the Outer Rim. The ship is high-tech and perfectly maintained with a well-trained crew that functions like clockwork, most of the time.

Led by Captain Oikawa, who is not only a very decent captain, but also somewhat of an idol in his home nation. Fights pirates and slavers alike and always makes sure to post selfies of his conquests on Spacetagram.

This is not appreciated by his second-in-command Colonel Iwaizumi because it means that he has to do all the actual practical work. Like track down criminals and arrest them. Despite his relavively young age, Iwaizumi has survived numerous battles, suppressing rebellions in three colonies with next to no bloodshed. Bit of a war hero. Him teaming up with Oikawa is a boon for the military’s pr.

Lieutenant Matsukawa is the Aoba’s navigator and an old subordinate of Iwaizumi’s. Smokes like a chimney and has real nasty mouth on him. Never fails to make mocking memes of Oikawa’s selfies, that usually end up being even more popular than the originals. Oikawa has either not figured out it’s him, or is refusing to acknowledge them.

Hanamaki is Matsun’s partner in crime, an ex-slave who decided at some point that he gave no fucks. Blew up an entire town and spent some time as a gun for hire before being arrested by the Aoba crew. Drafted onto the ship as some kind of punishment. Likes the hell out of his new situation and has proven loyal enough to make it to Main Gunner.

Corporal Kindaichi is a young engineer. Very nervous. Likes to tinker with robots. Requested transfer to the Aoba to serve under his idol Iwaizumi. Now feels slightly overwhelmed.

Kunimi is a military demolition robot that was built by Kindaichi and is the main reason the engineer got accepted to his new position. Kunimi’s main draw is how efficient he is with energy. He only needs to be charged once weekly. Sadly, his energy levels still need some tweaking and sometimes he refuses orders to conserve electricity.

Kyotani is another ex-con. Since the Hanamaki experiment went over so well, the Aoba released him from jail in a remote rogue’s town. Supposedly, he ended up there after tearing the throat out of a giant in a pit fight. With his teeth. Excellent fighter, said to have at least some alien blood in him. He seems almost impervious to laser fire and he fights like a tornado, but he has discipline issues. Also: zero chill.

Holy crap this thing is 3k words long

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

do you have any advice for masculine trans women who have dysphoria? i can feel really dysphoric and it hurts me but i don't want to wear feminine things due general discomfort

Hmm. I think that this question will depend a lot on your personal feelings and your personal life, but I will toss you as many ideas as I can and hopefully something in here is helpful. 

One thing that I might suggest right off the bat is buying a bra, specifically a sports bra (or possibly a bralette) might fit your needs since they generally aren’t padded or designed to increase the appearance of your breast size. But! even if it doesn’t make you look any different externally, you may feel a lot better just knowing that you have it on. 

The same kinda goes for masculine women’s underwear such as “boyshorts.” Maybe it’s not your thing, but a lot of trans women I know swear by them in terms of practicality and in terms of having a pretty neutral appearance. 

I also previously wrote a post of fashion suggestions for butch transgender women. I think you may find a lot of what I wrote there relevant to your situation. 

As a general idea, you may be comforted or inspired by the fashion and lifestyle sensibilities of butch lesbians, so it may be something you’d want to look into. 

Furthermore, I think you should perhaps take some time to introspect and think about what specific things might make you dysphoric, in order to address whatever those things are more specifically. 

For example, if you feel dysphoric about your wrists and hands, as I am, you might want to wear fingerless gloves or armsocks. 

If you feel dysphoric about stubble, as I am, you might want to wear foundation/concealer and see if that makes you feel any better. 

At the end of the day I think one of the most valuable things for you might be to try and reach out to any supportive friends or family you might have and try and spend time with them. If you have someone in your life who you can talk about your feelings with, then that can be extremely valuable, especially since they may be able to give you more substantive and personalized advice than I can. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t offer anything more than this. If you have any further questions or if you just want to talk one-on-one, I am here. 

BTW, I would really appreciate it if anyone who is a butch trans woman or who has any other advice to offer regarding tackling dysphoria as a butch trans woman would reblog with any additions or simply send me an ask if you wish to remain anonymous. 

Interference (pt 6)

Originally posted by taetaehyungs

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8 | pt 9 | pt 10 | pt 11 | pt 12 | pt 13 | pt 14 | pt 15 | pt 16 | pt 17 |

Officer!Jimin x Reader AU

(a/n) I’ll have you know I’m a nice person, I don’t know how to insult someone lol

When Park Jimin is irritated and fuming beyond relief, you would want to be as far away from him as possible. But how was that supposed to be granted when you were handcuffed to the guy, and shadowing his every move whenever he dragged you around like some rag doll.

Breakfast ended with a tense silence, Jimin quietly sitting and drinking your coffee with a bitter frown on his face. You tried persuading him to at least eat some of the breakfast you prepared, but he gave you a mixed look, distrusting and full of disdain as he shoved the plate away from him.

Taehyung would have gone back to work, claiming he’d go look for the key after finishing paper work on the case with Hoseok. However, to both of you and Jimin’s disappointment, he didn’t leave before kicking you both out of the apartment and demanding that you guys go out for real this time and not run away from the attention it may have gained the other day.

You wonder if being with you was such a hard task for Jimin, the troubled expression on his face seeming like he was dying on the inside by just walking around in public with you. He’s rigid and walking like he has a broom stuck in his ass, it’s probably not as audible to others but you can also very clearly hear the seemingly labored breathing as he inhales and exhales.  

He’s scared, you’d like to guess, restless and possibly anxious. You wonder what he had against you to be acting in such a way, or maybe he had anxiety with crowds, that’s why he hated the attention. But then again, he was a detective, he’d have to talk to people one way or another.

It’s not like you weren’t in the same position as he was. You’d rather just stay home and wait for Taehyung to get home, or follow him to the precinct and chat with Hoseok about whatever he seemed interested in that day, usually about his hobby in dancing or about his recent prank on one of the hyungs.

When out and about, Jimin insists you walk apart even if it clearly displays the handcuffs that connects you both. As usual, when you got too close he’d flinch and start walking towards the left to put more distance in between.

For the past few minutes, his stomach was growling and whining, hunger taking its toll and leading him to dragging you to the closest food shop. As usual, people are staring and whispering about your peculiar “couple item”, and as per usual, Jimin is sending them glares to keep their mouths shut and their eyes to look elsewhere.

“I mean, if you were hungry, you could have just eaten the breakfast I made..” You say as he takes a seat at a table closest to the window, digging into the bowl of bibimbap the kind old lady had made for him. With your wrists connected, your left hand is left to suffer and follow his right hand as he eats.

He swallows a mouthful before giving you a pointed look, pointing his chopsticks in your direction, “Don’t tell me what to do, I just don’t-”

“Help! Thief! He took my purse!”

You zone out at the phrase, gasping at the familiarity of it, sounding like something you’ve said before.

Jimin hasn’t even finish albeit having barely started, but he’s up in an instant and out the door with you in tow. You’re carelessly whipped around before stumbling to meet his pace as he rushes out the door and takes off sprinting in the direction of where the young woman was pointing towards.

However, you’re in a totally different state, not alarmed and more dazed as you picture it.

“Help please help, someone!”

It’s you, calling for someone, anyone really to help, as you try to catch up to the sprinting thief that has your bag tucked in his arms like a football and making his way to the end zone like a running back.

It seems almost impossible, your attire in no condition for you to be running like an olympic runner. Bummer, you had a few coupons for a free bubble tea and discount on groceries in that purse.

Before you know it, there’s a blur of raven hair that zips passed you. The person quickly catches up to the thief and takes them down with a tackle, restraining the perpetrator with their face pressed into the ground and their hand behind their back.

When you catch up, the police are taking the thief away and you’re left with the stranger who returns your purse with a shy smile.

Under the frame of his dark fringe are a pair of chocolate eyes that are gazing back at you just as curiously.

“Um thanks?” You say timidly, completely taken aback by his beauty.

He laughs, voice complete honey and velvet to your ears as he nods and offers you a smile and his hand, “Is that supposed to be a question? I just saved your purse.”

“Ah n-no.. I mean well.. I..”

He chuckles and shakes his head, shaking your hand when you take his outstretched one, “The name’s Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Hey pervert, could you get any slower? Should I start calling you grandma?” Jimin taunts, snapping you out of memory and making you aware of your muscles crying out in exhaustion the longer you both run after this guy. It’s obvious in his tone that he’s frustrated and annoyed with how you’re dragging him down, getting slower by the second but unwilling to touch you or help.

By now, the thief is in the distance, a small figure that takes an abrupt turn into an alley. After a while of bickering and one-sided yelling, Jimin drags you to the alley to find a dead end where the thief is making an attempt at breaking into the back door of one of the shops.

“It’s a big pain in the ass already that we’re handcuffed, so stay out of my way,” he whispers roughly being speaking much louder, voice deeper and full of authority, “Hey you, jerk off, would you kindly put down that purse and run off before you get hurt.”

The guy turns with a bored frown, glancing at your cuffed wrists and laughing quietly, “What are you going to do? Look’s like you’re in a bit of a fix there yourself sir, but I guess I’ll be on my way now.”

You notice the way Jimin’s eyelid twitches and his eyebrows crease in irritation, his voice quiet and restrained when he whispers to you, “Don’t you fucking dare drag me down now.”

And before you can respond, you’re launched forward, left arm flying forward along with his right that smashes into the thief’s jaw. Unable to stop yourself, you stumble forward and take Jimin with you who is skidding to keep from any physical contact with you.

During this time of distraction, the thief recovers and makes haste to get out of the alley and back to where the entrance, but Jimin kicks off and tackles the guy, not caring if you’re yanked down to the ground as well. When you fall, you shield your head, pushing out keep from your forehead touching the ground.

Eventually, the police arrive, both them and Jimin saluting each other and exchanging respectful nods before they take the thief into custody. Of course, not without giving your linked arms a glance and leaving with a chuckle about young couples these days.

Inspecting the purse, Jimin lets out a sigh, staring at you before he’s blowing up in your face.

“You know you piss me off beyond compare, I hope you know that. I specifically told you to not drag me down. So damn slow, I’ve never seen someone get so tired after running a few meters. It wouldn’t have taken so long to capture the fucker if you weren’t in my damn way! It’s one thing that I already have to look after you and help you, but I’m seriously done with this shit, you’re a big pain in the ass! I don’t know what Tae was thinking, that maybe magically I’d be cured, but no, it’s not happening. I want nothing to do with this, why can’t you just go find someone else to bother, huh? Why us? Why detectives? There’s this thing called identity theft agencies, are you dumb? I swear, women are all the same…”

“Fucking stupid.. Why am I even talking to you? It’s not like you’ll listen-”

You slap him, hard and satisfying with a loud echoing smack that causes his head to turn slightly. Your glare is sharp and scolding, but his is far superior as he forgets all about how he can’t touch you and is pushing you towards the wall behind you.

“Listen here, because you don’t seem to know how to listen. I thought I told you to never touch me,” his voice is throaty and deep, seething as he scrutinizes your fearful expression.

However, the longer he’s insulting you and your gender, you feel anger build within the dam of feelings inside, and it just snaps. Despite what he had just said, you push back against him, but not too far since you’re both still connected.

Your eyes are watering and glistening with hurt, your emotions driving you to speak much more confidently in front of him, “Do you think that this is all my fault? Do you not have a fucking heart? Do you think I want to be here handcuffed to you? I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t ask for you to hate me.. I just wanted help to regain my memories-”

“That’s what I’m saying, you asked for our help–”

“Shut up!” you scold when he cuts in, “You don’t understand, and I’m sure you won’t ever understand. I want whatever life that I had back, whatever it may be, I want it back and to be far away from a cold jerk like you. You’re right I could have just said nevermind and went to someone else, I’m sure Hoseok would have done a better job at taking care of me.. But like Taehyung said, you need to stop being a fucking baby and suck it up. I’m also in the same position as you right now, you need to remember that and not make any stupid ass inferences based on my gender. I don’t know what you have against me or women for that matter, but you need to chill.”

Both of you are breathing heavily, frowning and shooting looks at each other in attempt to one up the other before he gives in and sighs. You accept his defeat and let him lead you both out where he returns the purse to the lady who is immediately captured by his good looks.

She’s all smiles and giggles, fluttering her eyelashes at him as she sincerely thanks him for his help.

“Um~ Maybe I could properly thank you later,” she hums thoughtfully, “Maybe dinner?~”

You’re both blinking at her boredly, not fazed and just too spent after your argument.

“No,” is his curt reply, tugging you gently to follow him.

However she stops him, hurrying in front of him and acting especially desperate as the first time.

“Hey wait, you’re just saying that to play hard-to-get right?” She grins, probably thinking that she looks attractive but is actually looking extremely disgusting to Jimin, “Or maybe because you’re out with your cousin right now, I’m sure she won’t mind us going out for a little bit, right cousin?”

Her smile is sick, and you feel the need to spit in her face, but he beats you to it, verbally. Anyway, you’d rather not be related to this asshole, even knowing him is a handful itself.

“I said no, now get out of my way.”

It’s her mistake when she grabs him, he’s ruthless with the way he shoves her off, not caring about the way she’s totally fearful of him now. He’s cold and indifferent, already irritated from your prior argument.

“Don’t touch me,” is all he says, just like the many times he’s told you. And now you’re aware that you’re not the only one who he’s had to say that to, and maybe.. It’s probably gotten beyond annoying for him now.

You both continue back to the shop in silence, the atmosphere between you two dense with tension and more unspoken frustration between you two but you both have already said your fill. The old lady replaces his bibimbap with a fresher bowl, smiling and talking about how he’s a beautiful young man with a strong sense of justice, and even including you in the conversation how you should cherish him, but you both give each other a look of disgust before she leaves.

There’s no more to be said, and you get used to it, as does he as you both finish up at the shop and wander aimlessly to a mildly crowded park. There’s children playing on the metal and plastic equipment, laughing and screaming as they run around without a care in the world about the difficulties of being an adult. Parents stand to the side or sit on benches either talking, busy scrolling through their phones, or are taking videos of their child falling flat on their face and crying about the scrape on their knee.

You both find a tree to sit at against the trunk, your backs to the tree on opposite sides. Your arms are stretched back behind and meeting to the side on your left and his right.

You’re seated facing the playground where children continue to run about and play, and he’s facing the grass field where older children and their parents are passing around soccer balls or tossing footballs.

Eventually, you give in to the calming breeze, and close your eyes, ignoring the ache on the back of your head pressing into the bark irritating your healing bullet wound.

“Hey. Grandma.”

His voice is soft, and surprisingly not holding any disdain or bitterness, but is heavy with guilt and repentance.


There’s a pause, possibly him contemplating his next words, “..I’m sorry.” The two words are shaky, and were probably a challenge for him to muster.

“For what? I’ve been dragging you down this whole entire time.”

Maybe you’ve hit a spot, wondering if he’s going to get upset again, but he continues nonetheless, voice shaky and full of anxiety - completely unlike the rough way he usually speaks to you, “I was being a little harsh.”

“And.. you’re right, it’s not your fault.. I’ve already gotten myself into deep shit when I said I would pay your bills..” You wonder if that’s meant to be comic relief and cheer you up, and he chuckles bitterly, “It’s Taehyung’s fault, I’ll make sure to beat the crap out of him when we’re free.”

“Ah but.. About what I said back in the alley.. I..”

“I get it, you hate me, and probably the whole female population,” you say, pausing for any interruption, and continue when there’s none, “I would ask you why, but I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t tell someone like me.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t-”

“Don’t apologize,” you say, smiling with your eyes still closed, imagining the troubled frown on Jimin’s face right now, “But can I ask you a question?”


“Why’s your hair orange? Isn’t that quite unusual?”

You’re making progress you suppose when he breathes a light laugh of disbelief, something he’s never done in your presence. There’s no coldness, maybe a bit restrained and held back, but still a laugh nonetheless. And you can’t help but feel extremely accomplished for invoking such a reaction from the usually uptight and cold Park Jimin.

“I lost a bet against the guys,” he says, sighing at the memory, “It was stupid and they kind of set me up for disaster, Tae and Hoseok hyung came up with the idea to dye my hair orange.. I used to be a brunette before I was turned into a carrot.. Or an orange if you’d see it that way.”

Before you can say anything more, his phone is ringing and he immediately answers, reverting back to his curt self and answering with a grunt.

“You did? Good, we’ll be at home by then.”

You’re not sure whether you’re relieved or disappointed when he announces that Taehyung accidentally left the keys in the break room refrigerator at the precinct, but you say nothing as you both revert back to your silence, this time more comfortable than before and retire back at the apartment.

It seems short lived, when Taehyung comes bounding through the door just like last night with an enthusiastic “I’m home~ your lives have just got ten times better~”. Jimin demands that Tae hands over the keys and you both are not too soon separated, with your wrists red from all the tugging and dragging.

And just like that, you feel as though you’ve possibly gotten a little bit closer to Park Jimin, but you’re not sure as you cook dinner and are soon enough retiring to the couch to finally sleep off the events of the day away.

anonymous asked:

Is that weird that I love Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid anime but I absolutely despise manga? Like, everything is worse in manga... For example, the conflict with Tohru's father... And I'm still angry about Iruru and "giving Kobayashi a dick so she can feel lust for Tohru", like making her male automatially means she will feel lust for women, my goooood. And I swear author has a lolita complex. And the artstyle in manga way worse... hhhhhh

i have a LOT of issues with the manga. im not going to list them all but i swear to god its so frustrating because i could totally enjoy the manga. it has cute and heartwarming moments (as you have seen me post on here before) and has even made me laugh once in a while but….its ruined for me whenever the author throws in some gross chapter or scene (oh my god dont even get me started with that one chapter with iruru giving kobayashi a “thingy” and hhhhhhasdjfshajfhjasgdfjhg) 

its also having me lowkey terrified if there is a season two because they have already shown that they aren’t afraid of pulling dirty stuff from the manga in the beginning of the ova (*shudders*), and knowing what awful stuff happens after where they stopped making episodes, the second season could have a lot of good ass scenes (like chapter 48) but a lot of REALLY BAD ONES so im really hoping that they don’t touch those scenes..and if they do they tone them down to the point where they aren’t as dirty or bad (like they have done with previous scenes)