It is totally possible to acknowledge that trans women’s experiences are important and that they are subject to the same violence as cis women, and that in fact it can be proven they are often more susceptible to violence than cis women merely because of their transness.
You can do that while acknowledging that the very act of assigning a child female at birth is an act of violence which is intended to mark that child for humiliation, degradation, objectification, harassment, etc at the hands of the men it is assumed they will grow up to love and marry. We can have these discussions simultaneously and in fact I think they prove that womanhood and the process of growing into womanhood is traumatic for all of us and that it is intended to be. We can acknowledge that we come to womanhood in different ways but that neither is fun or pleasant and that at the end of the day we BOTH see ourselves subject to violence and subject to marginalization and exploitation of our labor, our love, and our general energies because we are women.
The trauma of being marked a girl and raised as a girl and being trained to be disgusted with your body and with your genitals is so real and there needs to be space for that that doesn’t rely directly on locking and deriding trans women.