women's abuse

I just saw a post saying men raise their voices in violence and women never do/only raise their voices to be heard and like?? When we gon admit women can be just as abusive as men?? Why we gon keep excusing women as if they can’t emotionally and physically abuse people? And then when people say a women did something to them its the “exception” or people flat out don’t believe them. But y’all always so eager to point finger at men??

Anyway i’m flabberghasted. Tumblr is something

this is a terrible post stop reblogging it. also I’m sorry on behalf of it.

edit: to all of those saying why don’t i just delete this post:

after posting this I realized many things, things like the background of the photo and what’s really going on.

so a couple of years back snooki and the gang went out for a couple of drinks and this asshole was taking their drinks. after confronted once he denied their accusations, but was caught doing it again and snooki decided she had enough of him. she told him to stop and the guy proceeded to punch her (as seen in the photo)

now as to why i left this post up. so after all that’s happened since this was posted I realized I did something shitty. i would very much leave this post up so i can face the consequences of it rather than deleting it and pretending it never happened. i feel bad for thinking this was acceptable in any way and realized how traumatic this must of been for her and for me to make it into some “relatable meme” was a dick thing to do.

to all who were hurt by this because of the harassment, assault and just everyone who saw this on general. I really am sorry.


- Causing purposeful bodily harm to your boyfriend is abuse. 😊
- Slapping your boyfriend or “your man” is abuse. 😊
- Hitting a man for saying something you don’t like is not okay and it is assault. 😊
- Women slapping/hitting/beating up men is assualt. 😊
- Women hurting men physically and/or emotionally isnt funny and it’s not okay. 😊

Now you know. 😊😊😊

Whether or not a protest is “peaceful” is decided by the state, not the protestors.

There’s a reason the Women’s March wasn’t considered a riot, and it has everything to do with white privilege and nothing to do with how “well behaved” we were. Police show up to peaceful BLM protests already in riot gear all the time.

“The abuser’s problem is not that he responds inappropriately to conflict. His abusiveness is operating prior to the conflict: it usually creates the conflict, and it determines the shape the conflict takes.”

― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Hey my tumblr bros did you know that:

Not every asexual/aromantic is cishet

Women can be abusive.

Men can be victims of abuse.

Transwomen aren’t drag queens and don’t appreciate your “YASSS QUEEN SLAY HER”

Transmen aren’t “sweet innocent trans baboo uwu”

Gay people can be manly as fuck and aren’t just “soft and pure”

Lesbian and TERF aren’t the same thing.

The LGBT+ community aren’t animals in a zoo, so stop treating LGBT+ folks like an injured tiger cub at a rehabilitation center.

But hey, what could I possibly know, I’m just a 14 year old pre-T trans kids, I know nothing about the “Real world”.

Men’s loyalty to violence is disturbing. When women want a life free of abuse, assault, threat, and coercion, men’s first suggestion is “learn to fight back. learn to defend yourself.”  I don’t want my life to be a fight. I don’t want to “prove myself” through inflicting pain and fear. I don’t find violence and physical conflict fulfilling or self-actualizing. It’s exhausting and dehumanizing.

Tbh unless you are making a deliberate effort to hear and respectfully acknowledge people’s concerns, anger, or hurt feelings about your behaviour, there is a 100% chance that unspoken resentments are quietly forcing distance into your relationships.

If people feel like they can have a productive conversation with you when something’s not working, tiny things can be adjusted as you go instead of building into the kind of huge divides that end relationships bitterly.

Communication goes both ways. You gotta be able to take in what they need to say, or they’ll stop telling you when something’s wrong.

female experiences:

  • being told it’s normal if your clothes hurts you and you have to endure it
  • being told it’s normal if sex hurts you and you have to endure it
  • not finding basic information about your biology and sexual organs through most of your life
  • being told that pain is a normal part of your life
  • being told that if you are a “good girl” you’ll endure it without complaint
  • being told you should be grateful for the rights you have and finding out in the past you wouldn’t even have these rights
  • getting brutally shut down if you try to stand up for yourself
  • getting forced into a role of serving men because “it’s woman’s job”
  • having your labor dismissed as worthless and stupid 
  • but you have to keep doing it anyway or you’ll get punished
  • anything you do is considered worth less and generally dismissed
  • realizing men’s work is praised and glorified even when they do harmful and environmentally destructive work for selfish purposes
  • realizing you can’t do anything about it and feeling less worthy even when you do more work and more necessary and useful work
  • having your compassion used against you
  • having your energy and emotional labor used by men who demand you to listen to them and comfort them and stroke their ego
  • being laughed at and invalidated and called slurs and insults when you try to talk about your own problems
  • being called selfish, dramatic, crazy, delusional and damaged when you expect basic decency and compassion
  • being treated like you’re insane and hysteric if you display any kind of anger at how badly you’re being treated
  • feeling infuriated at double standards and for how harshly you’re judged and punished while men can get away with anything
  • doubting your own senses and considering if you really are crazy
  • being ignored as a human being, your intelligence dismissed, only thing that seems to have any worth is your body but you get shamed, objectified, sexualized, used, violated, predated on and hurt 
  • hating your body and wishing it was a different body, one that nobody would hurt and violate
  • feeling completely helpless and alone

Can I just say, girls, that you don’t owe your partner sex. It does not give your partner the right to cheat on you if you don’t have sex for a very long time.

If your partner needs sex in a relationship and you don’t want it as much, they may not be the right person for you, but it does not give them the right to betray you and be abusive to you. You deserve respect.

You are no less valid for not having sex as much as your partner wants you to. There is nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with having a lower sex drive. You deserve all the love in the world. You not “giving it up” to your partner is not a justification for them abusing you.

You never deserve to be cheated on, talked down to, made to feel guilty or bad, or otherwise abused for not wanting sex as much as your partner does and for a partner to make you feel that way is wrong. You always deserve respect regardless of your sex drive.

I hate when I see videos of black mothers yelling, beating, & cursing at their kids and everyone commenting “Good parenting” and approving such behavior. Black mothers have this stigma that we’re mean, too hard, & rough with our kids. These rough aggressive styles of parenting ruin black children more times than not I know bc I’m a victim of such parenting. Stop that BS myth that you need to be hard on your kids bc the world will. Be gentle, patient, & more affectionate with black children. Whenever I take my daughter to mommy & me classes I get extra stares bc black mothers are looked at as they mean figures rather than nurturing or gentle.

After everything R. Kelly has done, a good portion of the Black community, men AND women, still think that creep is innocent and/or care more about his music than the young Black girls he has abused. I just don’t get it. It feels like I’m in the damn Twilight Zone. To all the victims of abuse, if you ever feel like no one cares: I CARE ABOUT YOU! I CARE ABOUT YOU! Remember that.

maybe he doesn't hit you...

maybe he doesn’t hit you but he reminds you every day how worthless you are until you start to believe it yourself
maybe he doesn’t hit you but he controls what you wear,who you talk to and what you do daily
maybe he doesn’t hit you but every time you threaten to leave him he threatens to kill himself so you’ll stay
maybe he doesn’t hit you but he’ll make you feel guilty for the things he’s done
maybe he doesn’t hit you but you feel as if you have to have sex with him so he will show you affection
maybe he doesn’t hit you but he doesn’t like it when you overdress or wear too much makeup because he’s positive you’re going out to impress guys
maybe he doesn’t hit you but being with him makes your friendships suffer
Maybe he doesn’t hit you but you can’t go anywhere without him knowing precise details.

Maybe he doesn’t hit you..but maybe he destroys you mentally.

Watching natural-looking people engaging in sex that is consensual, mutually pleasurable, and realistic may not be harmful–heck, it might be a good idea–but the occasional feminist porn site aside, this is not what the $97 billion global porn industry is shilling. It’s producers have only one goal: to get men off hard and fast for profit. The most efficient way to do so appears to be eroticizing the degradation of women. In the study of behaviours in popular porn, nearly 90 percent of 304 random scenes contained physical aggression toward women, while close to half contained verbal humiliation. The victims nearly always responded neutrally or with pleasure. More insidiously, women would sometimes initially resist abuse, begging their partners to stop; when that didn’t happen, they acquiesced and began to enjoy the activity, regardless of how painful or debasing it was.

- Peggy Orenstein, ‘Girls & Sex’