i zeriously don’t give a shit if you’re lesbian and say that you’re penis-repulsed or that you never want to have penetrative sex like obviously these are very very personal things and you have every right to dictate where your personal limits lie with regards to intimacy and sex.
like for REAL there are trans women who are penis-repulsed, who don’t want their own penis touched sexually at all (due to dysphoria or otherwise), who don’t want to have sex at all, who don’t want to have penetrative sex (receiving or giving), And of course there are also trans women who DO want all of these things…
(And there are trans women with a penis who are unable to penetrate or maintain an erection due to HRT or orchiectomy or otherwise, And there are trans women With A Fully Functioning Vagina That Is Physically Indistinguishable From An Average Cis Woman’s Vagina, but i digress…)
but the PROBLEM lies in the fact that people view trans women as a monolith! The problem lies in the fact that people assume that trans women are all just the same as the stereotype that you have built up in your minds! The stereotype of trans women as: a deceptive predatory sexually voracious straight man who will do anything to have sex with cis lesbians!
It’s not a problem for you to have your personal boundaries regarding intimacy and sex! What is a problem is when you have a malicious ideology against trans women and place your personal boundaries into this rubric. There is nothing forcing you to do that. There is nothing forcing you to apply malicious misinformation and stereotypes to trans women. There is nothing forcing you to call transgender women male, or men, or trannies, or transmale, or male-to-trans, or transwomen, (as a distinct and separate category from “Real” cis women!!) it is cruel and bigoted and transmisogynist for you to do these things.
However I will never concede the fact that stereotypes influence how you perceive people! And as a corollary to this fact, I can certainly say that there is transmisogyny among cis people. There IS a major phenomenon of straight men, lesbians, and bi/pan people, of any gender, viewing trans women as disgusting and ugly and undateable and To Be Avoided DUE TO STEREOTYPES AGAINST TRANS WOMEN.
This is not simply an issue that has regards to dating, obviously, it is something that informs all social interactions that other people have with trans women.
And, before you twefs jump in with “not being dated isn’t oppression!” I am going to pre-empt you and state that this is a similar issue to how straight women are homophobic towards bisexual men and avoid them and refrain from socializing with them or dating them, this is a similar issue to how white women and men are racist towards black men and avoid them and refrain from socializing with them or dating them.
Not equating these issues, just pointing out that social avoidance IS a part of interpersonal oppression against marginalized groups.
My position is that stereotypes and social norms inform behavior towards trans women and you have to take responsibility for how your bigoted rhetoric impacts the people it’s leveled against.
Bi and straight radfems are allllllways talking about how disgusting trans women are and it generally seems that they don’t even have any trans women as friends let alone date them, and I can’t help but beg the question: You don’t actually truly view us as men, do you? In fact, to you, we must be something different than men because you treat us terribly different than you treat men. You treat us much worse than you treat men, which is a major failure of your supposedly self-identified man-hating agenda. Get good, frankly.
Another pre-emptive statement before someone makes an ugly and unnecessary comment: I’m engaged and have been monogamous for 7 years so this is literally not a weird ideological quest for romantic contact for me, regardless of how so-called radical feminists might twist my words.