i’ve been working 3+ years in a job during which i’ve seen hundreds of women’s bodies in a medical context
lemme tell you a thing
women are fucking hairy, ok? i’ve seen women covered with hair from their ankles to their armpits. women with super visible pubic hair that approaches their bellybuttons, regardless of race/ethnicity. we have hair absolutely everywhere and our public image as women is totally devoid of this reality.
men really have no idea how hard women have to work to make ourselves hairless. it’s as unnatural for us as it is for them but this is something that doesn’t even cross their minds as they emerge from their caves looking like unwashed wookies not even aware of how much they’re just allowed to exist.
You’ve got to know yourself. You’ve got to know what ignites your magic, what fires your soul into performing majestic acts of love. You’ve got to know yourself so much that not even a hundred voices will drown yours. You’ve got to own yourself, this journey is all yours. All yours. No one can do it and you decide whenever you are ready to embark on it. Unlearn, learn, master yourself and love yourself or else they will define you and that’s a poisonous kind of life. That’s death.
Imagine satan sticking his hand in your stomach from your belly button, twisting and ripping apart your insides, spitting hot sauce in the open wound, then stitching it up with a rusty fork. Thats what period cramps feel like.
1. Be delicate, but not stuck up. Be graceful, but don’t be conceited. Be sexy, but not sexual. Be smart, but don’t be witty. Have an opinion, but don’t speak your mind.
2. Take up as little space as possible.
3. Don’t be like the other girls.
4. But don’t be too different either.
5. Take care of your body. Not by weekends at the spa, evenings in your tub with useless, stupid bath bombs, sweet treats, a walk in the park or, god forbid, masturbation, no, taking care of your body means making sure you stay in shape to look as appealing as possible. Go to the gym whenever you can, stick to that diet, ignore your hunger, you have to be slim, you have to be skinny. Not too skinny, though. So make sure your body stores fat in places where it’s considered attractive: Your breasts, your ass. No cellulite. No flab. No dimples. No stretch marks. No body hair. If you let it grow, you let yourself go.
6. It’s self-understood, but of course, you have to have a vagina.
7. Remember that every other girl you meet is your rival. There is no such thing as true friendship between girls. In the end, she is going to disappoint and backstab you anyway. That’s just what girls are like. So be ahead of her at all times. Be prettier than her, more succesful than her, thinner than her, just better than her. Being a girl means being in a constant competition with every other female being.
8. In terms of sex; give, don’t take. Don’t ask foor too much.
9. If he hurts you, it is your fault. Always keep in mind that falling for a liar and a cheater is a sign of your own weakness, because you were blinded by the dumb, immature illusion of true love that girls are so fond of. If you want to be a good girl, you have to lower your expectations of men and settle for less than what you actually dreamed of. That’s just how it is. You should be thankful for every man that is interested in you anyway. So don’t mourn and don’t complain if one of them lets you down, not all men are like that, and your own stupidity is to blame, not his inability to refrain from giving in to his desire for another girl. If you would’ve been better, he wouldn’t have left you in first place.
10. Deny your human nature for it is inappropriate for girls to openly express their basic needs, such as hunger, arousal, or the simple need to burp, fart, piss, shit. That’s a boy thing, it’s funny if they do it, but gross and repulsive if girls do.
11. Be in control, but never take control.
12. Don’t even try to convince anyone you’re dressing up like that for yourself. It’s okay, darling, you want to be stared at, you want to be whistled at. Deep down inside, you need that kind of affirmation and acknowledgement, so take it as a compliment when someone yells that he wants to fuck you. If they take it too far, if they grab and molest you, well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before you put on that skimpy dress, you dirty little slut. Because even if you think you’re dressing up for yourself, even if you think you’re putting on makeup because it makes you happy, it’s wrong. As a girl, there’s only few things that you do for yourself, because it should be one of your main priorities in life to serve, just as girls always did, and always will.
13. Last but not least; yes, it’s supposed to hurt. So better get used to it.
What Society Taught Me - An ironical take on the unwritten rules we’re supposed to follow
A woman can grow a baby inside her body; and then, somehow, a woman can deliver a baby through her body; and then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body… And when you think about the male contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.
If your feminism fails to answer this question, it’s missing the point.
If your feminism fails to ask, “What is femininity? Where does it come from? Why is femininity constructed the way it is?” then your feminism is missing the point.
If your feminism fails to ask, “who benefits from women’s femininity?” then it is missing the point.
And your feminism needs to ask these questions fearlessly, deeply, and critically–not out of a knee-jerk, emotional defense for the feminine things many of us women love. It is possible, after all, to enjoy something while thinking critically about it and getting to the core of the truth.
That means looking at history, looking at how society got to be the way it is today. The past did not happen in an alternate reality, we are living in the direct consequences of the past.
Look at our society. why does one half of the population wear make up and the other half doesn’t? How do you explain widespread patterns in society?
The society you are born in to determines a lot about who you are. You would be a different person if you were born to parents living in opulent Dubai, than if you were born to parents living in a slum on the outskirts of Rio. How you are raised matters. How the children you interact with in school are raised matters. Everything about your environment matters.
Femininity is a social construct. It has a different meaning in each culture. Women from different cultures do not have brains hardwired to think about femininity differently from birth–such an idea is extremely racist, in addition to being misogynistic. Women in Chad and Nigeria are not born with the desire to wear lip plates. Chinese women were not born, until fairly recently, with the idea of binding their own feet in their brains. Neither are Western women born with the idea that we must cover our faces in make up. These ideas are all products of culture.
A social construct is like a big game of pretend that every adult human being in a society buys in to and perpetuates. Santa Claus is a social construct.
Understanding this, we can see that femininity is not natural. Women are not born with brains hardwired to desire adhering to their culture’s idea of what femininity means. We are raised within a culture, we get ideas from that culture, and that affects each and every one of us. Nobody is a special snowflake. All of our choices are made within a culture, all of our choices have consequences.
Science supports the idea that male and female brains are not all that different at all. The minor differences in hormones do not explain the big differences in behavior between men and women. Culture, however, does explain this.
When you observe everyone like you behaving a certain way since childhood, your subconscious internalizes this. Most of what we learn about how to act and behave is subconscious.
For centuries, men have been using the idea that women are naturally feminine to justify oppressing us. Men have been saying that women’s brains are naturally prone to being more nurturing than men’s, that our brains are inferior to their brains, that we are naturally obsessed with beauty rather than absorbing ideas about beauty and how it affects us from culture.
Feminists understand that women are not naturally feminine, but that the reason we “choose” to be is because if we do not comply, society will punish us, so we make these choices to behave in feminine ways because of the consequences. And of course, enjoying the only choice you are allowed to make is much more fun than hating the only choice you are allowed to make–and also makes you more likable.
Society punishes ugly women for not conforming to the feminine ideal of beauty. Beautiful women receive positive reinforcement for their conformity through compliments. Some ugly women become socially isolated because society values women based on beauty to such a degree, that people will often choose which women to associate with based on looks alone.
Society punishes loud women for not conforming to the feminine ideal of silence. Quiet women avoid being labeled a “bitch” and are thought of as being inherently better people than outspoken women.
Society punishes women who put their own interests first, for not conforming to the feminine ideal of putting others before themselves. Women who neglect their own needs or make sacrifices are thought of as doing “the right thing.”
As long as femininity exists as the standard for women that we are socially punished for not conforming to, women will not be free. as long as we only have one choice to make, we can not be free. as long as the idea that women are “naturally” feminine exists, women will not be free.
Consider butch women. Consider gender non-conforming women. Consider non-feminine women. Consider ugly women. Consider women who reject femininity. Their womanhood is valid, and yet, men are constantly saying they are not “real women” for failing to live up to male ideas of how woman should act and behave.
Feminism is against the idea that women are naturally feminine.
The idea that women are naturally feminine is a male invented idea, it is a patriarchal idea, it is a conservative idea, it is an idea that has been used to oppress women for centuries. any human being should be allowed to have any personality.
Stop devaluing and erasing non-feminine women.
Stop linking femininity with womanhood. They are not the same thing.
Femininity is an aspect of culture. Femininity is a social construct. Femininity, whether you enjoy it or not, was created by men specifically to oppress women for their benefit.
Womanhood is natural. Womanhood does not have cultural limits.
Womanhood exists independently of culture, and can not be defined by individual personality traits–womanhood encompasses the lives and experiences of all women, regardless of their interests, hobbies, looks, or personality.
Womanhood is not a personality type.
Womanhood is a lived experience and a state of existence. Womanhood is not a social construct.
Womanhood can exist free of limits, when feminism succeeds.
As females, we are, from birth, so cut off from the experience of being fully human that we often feel our own lives are inauthentic. And so, for at least partly this reason, we reject any definition of womanhood that is centered on a feeling of innate “authenticity.” Anyone living life as a female knows that there is no such feeling upon which to rest the identity of “woman.”